Authors: Kate Douglas
Guilt enveloped him. Oliver glanced over at Mei. She slept soundly. Would she understand? No matter. Once she shifted, she would have an understanding of pack dynamics impossible at this point in her development. When she shifted, not if.
He joined Adam in the other bed. By the time Eve came out of the shower, Oliver already lay on his back with his legs hooked over Adam’s shoulders. Adam filled him, slow, smooth strokes that took him deep inside Oliver. Eve watched for a moment, her fingers sliding between her legs as she caught their rhythm. Finally she leaned over and took Oliver’s erect penis in her damp fingers and held the crown between her lips. She tongued the slick head, found the tiny eye and sucked the creamy drop of fluid from his tip.
Oliver groaned, and reached for Eve. He lifted her so that her sleek thighs straddled his face. She tightened her lips around the head of his cock and her tongue stroked the sensitive underside just behind the crown. Her fingers tickled the round curve of his balls and rubbed his sensitive perineum, tickling the taut ring of his sphincter when it stretched upward with Adam’s strokes.
Oliver fought for control. Black spots swirled in front of his eyes as Adam’s tempo increased, his thrusts grew deeper, harder. Adam’s hands tightened around Oliver’s legs, lifting him with each pounding penetration. Eve wrapped her fingers around the base of Oliver’s cock and sat back to adjust to this new angle, dipping her sex closer to Oliver’s face until she practically squatted over him and her swollen labia were right there, a creamy feast just for him.
He dipped his tongue inside and swirled tightly around her protruding clit. She jerked away from the intimate touch against the sensitive bundle of nerves. Oliver wrapped his fingers around her thighs and held her steady, forcing her to endure what she so obviously wanted. His tongue moved in and out of her slick folds, lapping and licking as fast as he could, but he was barely able to keep up with the thick flow of her cream. Her musky, feminine scent filled his nostrils and he drew her deep into his lungs.
The scents and quiet, muffled sounds of their lovemaking, the mad rush of bodies searching for completion as the edge of reason beckoned, enveloped Oliver. He was pure sensation, a part of their love as much as they were his. All three minds opened, images and sensations flowed between them, growing, swelling until they were one single, pulsing tangle of desire, an aching, living, breathing creature of passion.
Yet still, he needed more. They understood, and reacted.
Packmates. A single entity. Aware one of theirs suffered, Adam and Eve knew Oliver needed them, needed the contact of flesh and the lush peaks of passion. Needed the sharp edge of pain, the intensity of sensation verging on torment.
There’d been no question, no complaint. Adam recognized Oliver’s need and filled it. Eve recognized Oliver’s loneliness and shared as much of herself as she could.
Mei slept on, alone, apart. She was not yet of them, not yet able to understand the true dynamic of the pack. When one was alone, the others joined with him. When one was afraid, they protected. When one needed that most intimate touch, from gentleness to the boundaries of reason, the pack was there.
Some day, hopefully soon, Mei would understand. Oliver had no doubt she would shift. Unfortunately, while he’d cautioned patience, he’d run out of it himself. He wanted her with him, now. Wanted to share with Mei what he had with the other Chanku.
She wasn’t ready, and so he welcomed the pain.
Groaning with each powerful thrust as Adam’s hips rocked forward to the rhythm of his own personal muse, Oliver let himself fly. Let the sensations take over, let his body’s need take control.
Stabbing into Eve with the full length of his tongue, he felt the hot grasp of her mouth around his cock just as Adam pounded into him harder. Deeper. His balls slapped against Oliver’s butt and his cock stretched sensitive tissues. His flat belly slammed into Oliver’s testicles on each forward thrust as he took him without mercy. With love and the full knowledge of what he did.
Oliver seemed to float above the intense pain in his balls, the burn in his ass each time Adam’s cock thrust home. Tormenting and overwhelming, the pain consumed him. He welcomed it. Begged silently for more. Adam complied. He knew what Oliver experienced. What he needed.
The pressure grew. The sense his body reached a limit he’d not crossed before, a line he’d not passed over. Deep, yet necessary. An atonement he must pay before pleasure.
He clamped his lips around Eve’s clitoris and squeezed her without mercy. Her body shuddered and her lips parted in a silent scream of release. Her hands squeezed the base of his cock and held back his climax and the pressure grew. Eve shuddered, her thighs trembled and she rolled away from Oliver’s mouth, but her fingers still clasped his cock. Adam rocked against him, his fingers digging into Oliver’s legs, his cock tearing into his bowel.
He felt Adam’s climax in his mind as Adam’s body locked up, his cock buried to the hilt inside Oliver, his mouth twisted, a rictus of agony, of pleasure too great to withstand. Eve leaned over and clasped Oliver’s cock in her mouth, her fingers loosened their punishing grasp and he exploded, arching up into Eve’s mouth, clamping his muscles tightly around Adam’s cock.
He felt Adam’s cock jerking deep inside him, felt the hot wash of his seed against the ever present condom, but Eve captured Oliver’s ejaculate, sucking and swallowing, her fingers gently caressing his balls, her lips soothing his cock. Adam withdrew and headed for the bathroom, Eve licked Oliver’s cock clean before she left to join her mate.
Oliver lay there, heart pounding, lungs heaving, body totally wasted. He’d be sore in the morning. He’d never experienced anything so intense in his life. Never wanted this punishing, powerful sex such as they’d shared, but he’d needed it tonight. He’d have to think about that later, the reason he’d wanted the pain.
Oliver heard Eve and Adam coming out of the bathroom and rolled to one side. He looked into Mei’s beautiful green eyes, awash with tears. Before he could speak, before he could explain what she’d just witnessed, she turned away. Sighing, Oliver went into the bathroom to wash.
Chapter 9
Mei felt Oliver crawl in beside her but she held perfectly still and pretended to sleep. He’d showered and the scent of soap clung to his body. With her heightened Chanku senses, though, she still smelled Eve and Adam’s scent on his skin.
He snuggled up behind her and Mei’s head suddenly hurt. Her brain felt like it was going to explode, and she knew Oliver was trying to read her thoughts. She didn’t want him in there. Wasn’t ready for him to see what was going through her mind. She might not be able to shift, but she’d learned how to block.
Confusion dictated her silence. What could she say? What should she say? She had never witnessed sex like that before. Angry, intense sex. Sex meant to inflict as much pain as pleasure. It had been both disturbing and unbelievably arousing.
She’d felt Oliver’s emotional and physical pain and she should have wanted to stop it. Stop Adam from hurting him, stop Eve from tormenting him.
Instead, she’d almost climaxed, just from watching the three of them. She had climaxed, finally, using her hand, fucking herself with the same powerful anger she’d sensed in Oliver. She’d discovered a side to Oliver she’d not expected.
Just as she’d discovered something unexpected about herself. Something she wasn’t quite ready to face. Why was Oliver so angry? Why did he think he should be punished? Why did she seem to feel the same?
She searched her memories of all they’d talked about, everything he’d told her about himself, and she could find no reason for him to think he’d done anything wrong. He was a generous lover. Tonight he’d given her such a glorious climax, and then he’d held her, wrapped her in his arms so she could sleep.
He’d thought only of her comfort. Why hadn’t she thought of Oliver?
Because you’re a selfish, miserable, whining bitch, that’s why.
She blinked rapidly, but couldn’t stop the tears. She’d thought only of herself, of the fact she’d wanted to change and hadn’t. Oliver had told her it might take longer.
He said he’d waited almost ten years. He’d never really explained why or what exactly happened. Was that the source of his anger? What had that man done to him, the man who had bought him when he was little, that would keep Oliver from his true heritage?
Come with me. We need to talk.
Oliver’s voice slipped easily into her mind, breaching the barriers she’d thought were so strong. So much for her great mental blocks. Mei rolled over and looked into his eyes, sparkling with banked fires in the darkness.
She nodded. He slipped quietly out of bed. She followed. Oliver handed a pair of jeans and a T-shirt to her and pulled on a pair of his own worn jeans.
He didn’t put on a shirt, but the night was warm enough. Mei clenched her fingers to keep from touching the smooth expanse of dark muscles across his chest. When she raised her chin and looked into Oliver’s eyes once again, she realized he watched her. He knew exactly what effect his body had on hers.
He knew it, and liked it, even as he used it. A lure. One she followed without question. She probably should have been embarrassed. As disturbed as she’d been by his sex with Adam and Eve, she still felt aroused.
Quietly, not waking the other two from their sleep, Mei and Oliver slipped out of the room. He took her hand and they padded barefoot across the parking lot. Dawn was breaking over the mountains to the east of them and the moon hadn’t yet set behind the mountains in the west. The air was crisp and cool and deathly still. The occasional sleepy chirp of a bird seemed to echo through the silence.
Oliver dropped her hand and shoved both of his into his pockets. He bowed his head. “I’m really sorry. So sorry you saw us, Mei. I hope we didn’t frighten you. I imagine what we did looked pretty intense.”
She clasped her hands over her stomach to keep from reaching out for him. “I don’t understand. You’re such a gentle lover with me. Tonight, it seemed as if you needed pain. You wanted Adam to hurt you. Eve, too. That wasn’t their call, it was yours. Why?”
There was a small grassy picnic area. Oliver led Mei to one of the redwood plank tables and sat beside her on the tabletop, feet dangling. “I’m not really sure. I was upset because you couldn’t shift. I mean, after all the lead up, all the excitement when you first started showing signs of the physical changes, it was a hell of a shock when you couldn’t. I know you were horribly disappointed. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”
Mei shrugged. “It’s not your fault. I was acting like a spoiled baby. It’s something I have to deal with, not you. But Oliver…” She took a deep breath and forced herself to ask. “Will you want that from me? Rough sex like that? I don’t think I could ever hurt you!”
Oliver smiled and leaned his head against her shoulder. “No need. Anytime I’m up for a little self-flagellation, I’ve got Adam.” He chuckled quietly. “Damn but my ass hurts! We’ve never gotten rough before. That was a first.” He scooted around on the table to get more comfortable. “Might be a last, too.”
Mei laughed, then clapped her hand over her mouth. They weren’t all that far from the rooms where people still slept, but she suddenly felt even closer to Oliver. “I’ll admit, it was hard to watch you, but I did.” She glanced away and felt the warmth creeping up her face. “At first. Then I couldn’t make myself look away. I was so surprised, how turned on I got. You guys were scary intense, but I came. With my own hand.”
She felt it, even now, the warmth between her legs. The sensitive swelling of her clit against the rough seam of the jeans. No panties. She’d forgotten panties, and suddenly that seam felt amazing. Maddening, but amazing.
But this wasn’t about her. It was about finding answers. Mei shuddered, drawing back from her body’s screaming need. What in the hell was going on with her? She’d never been this way, never searched for sexual release in every move she made. The muscles in her sex clenched. Dismayed, she felt the gathering of fluids between her legs, the deepening of her arousal.
She took a breath, let it out and tried to center herself. Then she consciously turned her attention away from her needy sex. She focused on Oliver. On him, not the release he could provide. “What happened to you, Oliver? What was it that kept you from being a man? Can you tell me?”
He turned and stared directly into her eyes. It was unnerving, to be studied so closely, but there was no sense he was trying to read her thoughts. Still, Mei felt as if he judged her, weighed her reaction to whatever he might say.
“I was castrated.”
Mei’s hand covered her mouth before she realized she’d even moved. “But how? Now you’re…?”
Oliver nodded. “When I was a baby, maybe a toddler—thank goodness, I don’t remember—my testicles were surgically removed so that I’d not grow up to be a threat to my master’s daughter. I was nothing more than a plaything for her.”
He looked away, toward the mountains. Mei didn’t try to see his thoughts. This was private. Much too private to intrude. She should stop him, but she couldn’t. She had to know. There was a powerful sense in her that there could be no secrets with this man. None.
Oliver seemed to gather himself. He took her fingers in his hand and played with them for a moment. Still looking down at their joined hands, he continued. “I’ve told you how I ran away and came to the states, how I went to work in a circus. What I didn’t tell you is that I was a eunuch. Until less than a month ago, I was not, technically speaking, a complete man.”
“You said Adam fixed you. How in the world could he manage to replace body parts?”
Oliver laughed and shook his head. “All the years I was with Anton, he never once thought of linking with me so I could shift. He tried everything else, but never that. Adam did. At first he linked so I could experience sex. That’s how it happened the first time with Eve.” He laughed softly, shaking his head as if he still couldn’t believe what they’d done. “I sort of borrowed Adam’s hard on.”
“Now, that is definitely sharing.” Mei tried to imagine what it had been like. Her excitement kicked up another notch. She tried to temper it, but her juices flowed and she thought of Oliver, his long, thick cock sliding deep inside Eve.
“Definitely the ultimate in sharing.” Oliver rubbed her fingers with his and squeezed her hand. “Eve was able to shift before Adam could. She had a lot of issues to work through and that’s why she took off. That’s when she headed for Florida. Adam knew he had to let her go, so he concentrated his energy on fixing me.”
“I wonder if I was one of Eve’s issues?” Mei stared at their clasped hands. “She had no idea I’d be there.”
“Possibly. Anton Cheval and Stefan Aragat have an ongoing argument over the importance of circumstance versus fate, or predestination. I think Anton is going to love your story.” He turned his head and smiled.
Mei’s heart did a little flip. “So how did Adam fix you?”
“He linked with me after he learned to shift. I’ve always taken the supplement, even before we had pills and just ate the dried grasses ground up in our food. It helped me with my telepathy. Besides, Anton insisted, and the only one who ever gets away with telling Anton no is Keisha, his mate. Even with the nutrients, I didn’t have the right mental pathways to shift. It’s such a visceral act, so intimately linked to our libido, our sexuality…Adam got into my head. We bonded, almost as deeply as a mating link. It was terrifying, exhilarating…”
Oliver’s voice drifted off. Mei thought of the mating bond. Eve and Adam still hadn’t bonded, and Eve admitted to being a little afraid of the depth of the link. The loss of privacy, of separateness that accompanied the powerful link. She would have no secrets. Nor would Adam.
And if Mei bonded with Oliver…she sighed. Her pathetic life would be an open book.
Oliver leaned over and kissed her. “Anyway, once we formed that link between us, it was like we were one person, not two. It was truly amazing when Adam shifted. My thoughts were so closely aligned with his, I was able to draw on his sexuality and make that first shift. I’ll never forget looking down at my body, seeing paws and the thick fur. And balls. I had balls. Adam really hadn’t said it might happen, but I actually shifted into an intact male.”
Mei slowly shook her head. Such a simple, silly thing after a lifetime of pain. “And they stayed?”
Oliver slid off he table, stood up and tugged her hand. “Lights just went on in our room. Looks like they’re awake.” He turned back and kissed Mei. “Yeah. They stayed. I didn’t want to shift back to human. I couldn’t believe the rush of feeling fully male for the first time in my life. Imagine all those hormones, pouring into my bloodstream. I was willing to stay a wolf rather than give that up. Adam convinced me to shift back.”
“What was that like? Turning back into a man and wondering if you’d still have something down there?” Mei tugged on his hand and brought Oliver to a stop. This was too important, too much a part of the man she loved. She needed to see him when he told her.
Oliver smiled and looked away. “Well, the first thing I did was pretty unmanly. I burst into tears. Sat there in the forest, buck naked, holding my dick in my hand and staring at my balls, crying like a baby.” He turned slowly back to Mei, and his eyes glittered. “Then I got mad. I was just so pissed that anyone would have done such a terrible thing to a little baby boy. Force him into a life that was incomplete. I think, maybe, that’s the anger I was feeling tonight. I wanted you there, sharing this amazing life with me, and you couldn’t, and it wasn’t through any fault of your own.”
Mei looped her hands over his shoulders and kissed him full on the mouth. “It’s not your fault, either. It’s not anything anyone did to me, not like what happened to you. Don’t worry. I will, though. Change, I mean. Soon. I feel it.”
Oliver nodded and took her hand once again. When they walked back to the room, Mei thought the anger in him seemed to have melted away. Her arousal, however, pulsed within her body and her mind, powerful and alive. A separate entity, clawing for freedom.
“You weren’t exaggerating when you said the house was huge!” Mei leaned forward to get a better look as they took a final turn into the long driveway leading to Anton Cheval’s mountain home. It was late afternoon after a long day of driving, but once Adam put the new thermostat in the Jeep, the trip had been entirely uneventful.
Just long. Way too long.
Oliver glanced at her and grinned. It was hard not to be affected by this beautiful place he’d called home for the past ten years. Built entirely of stone and wood, the structure seemed to grow up out of the earth and the forest, an integral, natural part of the rock and trees surrounding it. The house flowed in wings off to both sides and broad decks stretched all around. A wide staircase curved up to an intricately carved front door.
Anton Cheval and his mate Keisha stood on the deck. Stefan Aragat and Alexandria came out the front door just as Oliver pulled the Jeep into a shaded parking area beside the house.
Adam raced up the driveway in Stefan’s cherried out pickup with the headlights flashing on and off and the horn honking. Oliver got out of the Jeep and helped tug Mei to her feet just as Adam spun a brody in the gravel driveway and slid to a perfect stop in a shower of small stones, right at the base of the staircase.
He leapt out of the truck and took a deep bow. “Your truck, M’sieur Aragat. Intact. On time. Unmarked…and it’s almost got a full tank of gas. Happy Birthday!”
Stefan raced down the stairs, arms wide. “My truck!”
Eve crawled out and stretched before shooting a guilty look at Stefan. “Sorry I took it for so long.”
“You didn’t take it, Eve. I offered it.” Anton sent a mock glare at Stefan who was busy rubbing his hands over the smooth hood and practically humming with delight. “Besides, it’s not his yet. His birthday isn’t for two more days.” He walked down the steps and put his arm around Eve’s shoulders, gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and shook Adam’s hand. “Thank you. I see you got everyone home safely.”
“Well, Oliver had a lot to do with it.” Adam turned and flashed him a smile and Oliver grabbed Mei’s hand. He tugged her across the graveled drive to meet Anton.