Wolf Tales 11 (30 page)

Stefan’s eyes were blazing. He practically pulsed with his anger. Adam stood off to one side, but it was difficult to read his mood. He was difficult to understand even under the best of conditions, his mind often blocked to Anton’s curious thoughts. Now, with his comfortable stance and serious expression, he was impossible to figure out.

So why even try? Anton took a swallow of the cognac and sighed as it burned a trail down his throat. He took another and turned his back on the two men. He wasn’t trying to be rude, but they were the ones who had breached his sanctuary, who had interrupted his moment of reflection.

That thought almost made him laugh. Almost. The only reflection going on right now was his own sorry face staring back at him in the big window opening out to the back meadow.

He took another swallow of cognac and realized he’d emptied his glass. Before he could set it down, Stefan was tilting the bottle over it, filling it once again.

“Trying to get me drunk, Stefan?” He cocked one eyebrow in Stef’s direction. “It won’t work. I seem to have developed a tremendous tolerance for good liquor. Just about wiped out Ulrich’s hidden stash at the Marina house. I imagine Luc was glad to see me go.”

“Getting you drunk would be a waste of good booze.” Stefan topped off his own glass and handed the bottle to Adam, who set it aside on top of the cabinet.

Anton chuckled, but he realized he was staring at the amber liquid in his glass, not looking into Stef’s eyes. He wasn’t sure he’d like what he saw there. Even so, he raised his head and asked, “Well, if getting me drunk isn’t your purpose, what is on your agenda? You looked ready to take my head off when you walked in here.”

Stefan shook his head. “Pissed at the situation, my friend. Not entirely at you, though you certainly need to consider your mate’s feelings. Keisha’s exhausted and scared and afraid for you. That half-assed apology you gave her needs some improvement.”

Anton hung his head. “You’re right. I tend to get a little too self-involved when things don’t go my way.”

Stefan laughed. “Ya think? Gee. I never would have guessed.”

Anton shot him a sharp glance. “You’ve made your point. What else are you here for?”

“Figuring out what the fuck we’re going to do about your little problem.” He nodded at Adam. “I want you to let Adam take a look at you. If he can’t find anything, then we’re going to bring Liana in and let her have her way with you.”

Anton winked at Adam. “I like the sound of that. Go on.”

“Then if we can’t figure out what’s wrong, I thought maybe we’d all shift and go for a run, get away from the house and fuck like bunnies.”

Only Stefan.
“Sounds good to me.” He shrugged and looked at Adam. “Where do you want me?”

Adam laughed. “Well, actually I want you on your knees with my dick in your mouth, but I’ll go for your skinny butt in that chair.” He pointed to the comfortable recliner in the corner.

Anton liked that about Adam. The man didn’t give a rat’s ass who he was, what kinds of abilities he’d once had. Adam treated him as an equal, not as the undisputed pack alpha, though now that he thought about it, his role might quickly become disputed if things didn’t change.

Anton took a seat, had another sip of his cognac and set the glass aside. Then he leaned his head back against the cushion. Adam stood behind him, pressed his fingers to Anton’s temples, and went perfectly still.

It was strange, really, to think of what Adam was doing. Anton knew the man was taking a walk through the cells of his brain, but there was no awareness of anything. Not of Adam’s physical presence inside his skull, and certainly not anything mental. All Anton felt was the steady pressure of Adam’s big, warm hands against the sides of his face.

He concentrated on the strength of those fingers, on the calluses and scars from all the physical labor Adam did around the place. Amazing, that a man who was at home repairing a carburetor could so confidently, yet gently, crawl inside someone’s head, but Anton had seen Adam at work before. Had tagged along on his medical journeys through cells and veins and even into Tia’s womb during her daughters’ delivery.

He wondered if he’d ever get that chance again. If the ability to join Adam’s amazing mind would be his once more. His hands were so gentle, the night so quiet that Anton lost track of the time. Might have even dozed off a bit. He’d been sleeping so much since that night. More than he’d ever slept in his life, but when Adam pulled away, Anton was startled enough to know he’d been on the edge of sleep at the very least.

He was even more startled to see that Liana had, at some point, joined them. She’d been inside his head as well, it appeared. He wondered if it had worked and tried to reach out.

Nothing. Shit. Answered that question.
He smiled at her. “Hello, Liana. Any luck?”

She shook her head. “I see the problem, but there’s nothing we can do to rush things. You’re going to heal. I’m almost positive the damage isn’t permanent, but you took a terrible blast to your brain when you pulled in so much energy.”

“That I did. In fact, if AJ hadn’t linked with me, I don’t know if I would have survived it.” Stefan refilled his glass of cognac. Anton took a small sip. The others had pulled up chairs and sat facing him. “Afterward, I had what felt like a visitation from Eve. She said something about AJ having what I needed. That I would know when I was ready to take it back.”

“Ah! That would explain it.” Liana smiled and glanced toward Adam. “I told you it felt as if something was missing, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.”

Anton frowned. “Missing? You mean something physically gone from inside my head?”

“Yes and no.” Liana spread her hands wide, palms open, almost as if she reached for the answers she needed. “We are each unique, with our own abilities, our own way of thinking, of reacting. It affects everything we do, every decision we make, all our choices and beliefs. Even our fears. It’s, for want of a better word, our spirit. Your mind is intact. Your brain has suffered a definite trauma. There is evidence of some swelling, even what looks like bruising, though nothing life threatening. However, the part of you that fires your thoughts, that gives you your unique signature and makes you who and what you are—that part of you was not evident. I searched, but I thought the fault was mine for not seeing it. Now I’m wondering if AJ has it for safekeeping. If, when you are stronger, he will be able to return it to you.”

“How long do you think that will be?” He glanced down at his hands cupping the glass of cognac and saw
that his knuckles had gone white. He relaxed as much as he could. The last thing he needed to do was shatter a glass of good cognac. Stef would never let him forget it.

“I would imagine a couple more weeks. We heal so quickly. Your injuries aren’t that severe, especially considering what you accomplished. The amount of power you pulled in from all of us must have been tremendous. Even Adam and I felt some of the backlash.”

Stefan chuckled. “I think we all did. It’s got to take a lot to shut down the entire city of San Francisco. Everything from cell phones to lights and cable cars. Between the attempt on the president’s life and the power going out, it was a big news night.”

Anton slowly shook his head. “I feel sort of foolish, now. At the time, I was afraid of not having enough power to shut down the auditorium. It was a minor miscalculation.”

“Minor, my ass.” Laughing, Stefan turned to Liana. “So what now? What do you suggest?”

She cocked her head and stared at Anton. “Have you shifted since this happened? Sometimes shifting will help speed the healing process.”

“No. I had such a hell of a headache the first couple of days, and … Well, really, there just hasn’t been time.” Even Anton realized his excuses sounded feeble.

“Try it. I want to see if you’re still able to shift.”

“Now?” He really didn’t want to try. At least by not attempting a shift, he could maintain the illusion that he was still able to do it. Even if he couldn’t.

“Now, Anton. Please. No need to disrobe. Just see if the mechanism is still there. If the process of shifting from man to wolf is still a natural act for you.”

He gazed into Stefan’s amber eyes and felt the fear in the man who loved him. There was no need for telepathy to recognize Stef’s love—or his concern. Maintaining eye
contact, Anton reached for the simple process that should turn him into a wolf.

And found absolutely nothing. It was almost as if that slate had been wiped entirely clean. He remembered how to shift, but when he reached for the workings in his mind that directed the change, there was nothing there. He didn’t say a thing. He didn’t have to. Everyone in this room recognized his failure.

Each of them mourned with him. He bowed his head and begged the Goddess for some kind of word, anything to encourage him, but there was no sense of Eve tonight.

He raised his head after a moment, almost done in by the compassion in the eyes of those here with him. He would have to tell Keisha. Have to make her believe his abilities would eventually come back.

First he had to convince himself. If he couldn’t be the man he’d always been, he was nothing. Nothing at all.

“Well, that sucks.” Adam’s droll comment caught him by surprise. “Guess that means running and fucking’s out for tonight.”

Anton glanced at Adam and caught the twinkle in his eyes. “I’m doing it again, aren’t I?” He shook his head, but he managed to dredge up a smile. “What can I say? I’m a glass-half-empty kind of guy.”

“Well, I’m not.” Stefan grabbed Anton’s hand and pulled him to his feet, but he spoke to Adam. “Keisha and Xandi are sleeping in our room. That leaves either Anton’s or yours. You okay with that, Liana? Think you can handle all three of us?”

“You’re kidding, right? Have you seen Ig naked?” Chuckling, she grabbed Adam’s hand and dragged him toward the door. “C’mon, boys. Potential mommy here. I can’t drink but bring the bottle.”

“I’m really gonna miss that guy.” Adam sighed, reached for the half-full bottle of Hennessy, and trailed out the
door behind Liana muttering, “… hung like a damned baseball bat,” as he left.

Stefan squeezed Anton’s hand. “No argument. You’re coming with us. You’re going to get naked, and for tonight, at least, forget how screwed up things are and do a little screwing yourself. You all right with that?”

He thought about Stefan and all he’d been through, trapped for so many years as half man, half wolf. What Adam had endured when he lost his mate, and how much Liana, a woman who had once been an immortal goddess, had lost. And then he thought of what each of them had gained—love. A life much richer than they’d ever imagined.

He thought of how much he still had, even if his abilities were lost forever—the love of his pack, the love of his mate, and the love of his perfect daughter. He grinned at Stef, aware this time his smile was real. Then he grabbed his glass of cognac and headed for the door, tugging Stefan along behind him.

“Yeah,” he said. “I am all right. And I’m coming with you and I plan to get naked.” He stopped and looked into the eyes of a man who could have been his brother, who was, in many ways, all things to him. “But I realize now that there is nothing I need to forget. Things really aren’t as screwed up as I thought. Not as long as I have you guys. Thanks for reminding me what’s really important.”

Stef grinned at him. “I did that? Damn. Be sure and tell Xandi I finally got something right, would you?”

“Fuck off, Stef.”

“You too, sweetheart.”

Together, they headed out of the house and across the snowy drive to Adam and Liana’s room above the garage.

Anton lay in a sweaty tangle of muscular arms and hairy legs. Liana had long ago chosen retreat over valor—she’d left hours ago to sleep with Xandi and Keisha where she said the testosterone wasn’t quite as invasive and overwhelming.

Anton might have laughed if she hadn’t been right, if his body hadn’t been totally sated. And if his mind hadn’t been buzzing with all that he’d learned from her and Adam tonight.

Thank goodness his cognitive abilities didn’t appear to be impaired. He might have lost the ability to shift and to mindtalk, to link with his mate or his lovers, but he could still think. Still reason.

Still ask questions.

And damn it all if he didn’t have a million more questions for Liana. He’d been under the impression she’d lost all of her Chanku knowledge in the mindlink she’d had with Eve, but it appeared Liana had given up only the basics. Eve had taken the knowledge of what a goddess needed to know to function within the astral plane, to connect with the Mother. She’d only taken what she needed in order to be their Goddess.

Liana had retained her knowledge from thousands of
years of actually living through Chanku history. She still remembered what she’d learned of their physical and mental abilities.

All Anton had to do was ask the right questions, though it was Adam who had answered one tonight. He’d learned some amazing things during his mating bond with Liana, and this was something Anton had long suspected but never known for sure.

The Chanku life span appeared almost limitless.

While Chanku weren’t actually immortal, they could be very long-lived. That was something they’d have to address at some point, when humans around them aged and they didn’t. He’d seen it in Millie West the last time they’d been together. When he’d first met Millie, she’d been a youthful-looking woman in her mid-fifties. Now she looked like a thirty-year-old.

Not only was she not aging, she was getting younger-looking by the day. Essentially, it appeared the aging process paused at an individual’s prime, and if the first shift to Chanku came at a later age, as it had with Millie, the body appeared to rediscover those prime years. For most men, it seemed to be mid to late thirties. The women all looked younger, when he thought about it. Late twenties at most. He wondered where Millie was going to end up. She was already beautiful.

Fascinating.
Something he’d wondered about but really hadn’t considered, at least not seriously.