Wolf Rock Shifters Books 1-5: Five BBW Paranormal Romance Standalone Novels (30 page)

O
n the Monday
when she was to go to the “school” to meet with Kyla and Maddox, Zoe wandered down the main street looking for some new clothing to replace the dress which, though comfortable and amazingly durable, wouldn’t suffice as her only piece of apparel.

The shops in Wolf Rock largely catered to shifters, meaning that the women’s clothes were made for ladies with curves, and made to come away from the body in moments when an animal form would be necessary.

Zoe settled on a few new dresses, some jeans and shirts and, perhaps most enjoyably, selected some sexy underwear. For shifters, this was a luxury; panties and bras tended to get destroyed in moments of passionate transformation. But something in her wanted to know that, though she was covered up in practical clothing, underneath it all was the silk and lace that made her feel like a woman.

She’d never covered this body; she’d always shopped for tall, thin forms in stores designed for human women. But coating her full breasts in lace made her feel somehow sexier than she ever had as a skinny woman. She looked in the changing room mirror at the dark pink nipples which showed through the bra and felt them harden with the thought of Colson’s mouth exploring her.

“Oh God, stop thinking about him,” she told herself.

She made her purchases, threw them into her satchel and followed the directions to the school that Kyla had given her.

It wasn’t what she expected; she was accustomed to thinking of schools as brick prisons built to keep children out of trouble. But this was really just forest. Only the occasional small flag stuck into the ground denoted a sort of general area which the children were meant to stay in; other than that, Zoe found herself in a place of natural beauty, surrounded by mountains and streams.

Students ran about, playing games with each other. Some of them were old enough to shift, which they did with the typical awkwardness of a self-conscious child changing behind a blanket at the beach. Shelters had been built for the express purpose of shifting into and out of their animal forms, and extra clothing was provided for the students who had ‘accidents,’ and forgot to take off their clothes before changing.

Zoe could already see when she arrived that among the students was a sort of support network. They encouraged one another, even if they were too young to be able to change yet, and when a child emerged in animal form from their shelter, the others greeted it happily and with genuine enthusiasm.

The younger children who were likely to remain only in human form for a few years to come spent time with teachers like Maddox and Kyla, who worked with them, teaching them about the woods, how to catch fish, how to create traps, even. These were viewed more as problem-solving techniques than anything else. Each child was made to feel self-sufficient and independent, but also given skills which would help them to contribute to their community.

Kyla and Maddox sat Zoe down on the ground for a chat while the children worked with other adults.

“As I work with them,” Kyla told Zoe, “I watch them for special abilities. These sometimes manifest before the shifting does. And they can be even more frightening, like the ability to see as I do. One kid, a few years ago, could camouflage himself. It was amazing. When we’d play hide and seek he’d literally disappear. It took ages to find him because he didn’t know what he’d done. He was terrified when we did finally come upo him. But all these skills are important to develop, and even more than that, we need to get the kids understanding that it’s not that there’s something wrong with them. It’s that they have gifts.”

“And so I’ll be doing that sort of thing? Figuring them out?” asked Zoe, a little frightened at the prospect.

“My plan is to set you up with children who’ve been assessed as having anxiety.”

“So the ones who are like me,” laughed Zoe.

“Yeah, actually. Because you’ll understand what they need. The kids you’ll work with already know their abilities but are frightened or unsure of what to do with them. The common thing about all kids is that they tend to want to be like their friends and siblings, so sometimes they try and hide their skills away, like they’re ashamed. We want you to help them to understand that there’s nothing wrong with them.”

“But how can I help? I hide away more than anyone does,” she said, meaning it in more ways than one.

“Like we’ve said before,” said Maddox, “just access the memories of your childhood and imagine what would have helped you, Zoe. Think about how to make these kids feel loved and supported. If you need to, think about what you didn’t have. And give it to them. You are a guardian. You have experience. You can help.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“I know you will,” said Kyla. This gave Zoe confidence. If anyone could see the future, it was her.

They walked over to a little boy who was sitting alone on the grass in a clearing. Kyla looked at Zoe and nodded, as if to say, “Go for it.”

Zoe approached the boy and said quietly, “Do you mind if I sit with you?”

The little boy, who was blond and blue-eyed, said, “I suppose not.”

Zoe sat down on the grass, her knees pulled up under her chin.

“What are you doing here, all alone?” she asked.

“Just sitting.”

“Were you thinking?”

“Yeah.”

“About what?”

“You.”

Zoe gasped and then laughed. This was a strange response.

“Why were you thinking about me?”

“Because you’re sad that someone bad wants to hurt you.”

“Oh my God,” she said quietly. “How do you know that?”

“Because I can feel it. I can feel your fear.” He looked up at her, his large eyes calm and gentle. “I saw you talking to the teachers and I knew that you were scared. I could sense it from over here.”

“Can you feel what everyone around you feels?”

“Most of the time. It’s strange, I know,” he said, pulling a piece of grass out of the ground and peeling it apart.

“Do you feel it too? I mean, if a person is sad, do you feel sad?”

“I suppose. I feel sad for them,” he said. “I want to help but sometimes I can’t.”

“And how does that make you feel?” Zoe suddenly felt like a highly underqualified therapist.

“Helpless, I guess. I don’t like when people are sad.” he said.

“I know what it’s like to feel helpless. I feel like that a lot.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“But you don’t right now.”

“No, right now I feel a little hopeful, actually. And I hope that I can be helpful. I hope you don’t feel all alone.”

“I don’t, not right now. What’s your name?”

“Zoe. What’s yours?”

“Conner.”

“Conner, what’s your animal going to be when you’re older?”

“I’m a wolf. That is, I’m going to be one soon. I’m nine. My mom says that probably in a couple of years I’ll change for the first time.”

“A wolf and a protector. That’s a good combination, like Tristan,” she said.

“But
you
don’t want protection. You’d rather not have it.” He looked at her again. There was a sincerity in his face that made Zoe want to cry; he was so innocent and yet so wise.

“It’s complicated. I don’t want to rely on people. And I don’t want them controlling my life.”

“But protection comes in all sorts of ways. You need to be protected, Zoe. You need people, to help you to stop hurting.”

“Well, this is ironic,” she laughed.

“What does that mean?”

“It means it’s a little surprising that I was coming here to help you, and you’re helping me.”

“I am?” He smiled now, a mouth full of missing teeth lighting up his face.

“Yes, of course you are.”

“I never helped anyone. I always stay away from people because I’m worried that I’ll scare them.”

“Now, how could a handsome little boy like you scare anyone?”

“Because I’m different.”

“We’re all of us different, Conner,” said Zoe. “We’re like snowflakes. No two are the same. But that’s okay, you know. Shifters are special.”

“What makes you different?” he asked.

“You don’t know?’

“No, I mostly feel emotions coming off of people. I don’t read your mind or anything like that.”

“But you knew a man wanted to hurt me. How did you know that?”

“I don’t know. I guess I felt that you were afraid of someone.”

“Well, that’s a little like reading a mind. Conner, you should work on this. You should let yourself breathe and sit back and see how much you can learn from people. You know, that’s what Kyla does and she’s very good at it.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“But I still don’t know what makes you different,” he said.

“Well, I can change. Into almost anything.”

“Really? Wow,” he said, elongating the “ow” sound with the breathy voice of a stunned child. Zoe wanted to laugh at how excited he became at the thought of her abilities.

“You know, I was scared of this ability, all my life. I never felt right.”

“But you feel better now,” he said. “You’re starting to like it.”

“Yeah, I’m getting there.”

“You’re starting to see that it’s a privilege to have this gift…” Conner’s voice changed in that moment, growing distant. There was a wisdom and a maturity in it now, as though he was speaking through someone else. “…and to appreciate how special it makes you.” With that he began to pull the blade of grass apart again, seeming to revert to the boy he’d been a moment earlier.

“Yes, you’re right,” said Zoe. “And I hope I can help you to see how special you are. You know, you have what we call empathy. Most people have it a little, but it’s rare to feel it as much as you do. You just need to learn to use it. You can help your pack with it, you know, when you’re older.”

“How do I do that?”

“It’s very important to be able to read others, so that you know what’s coming. And you can do that. You can tell if they’re good or bad. You can warn people.”

“I never thought about it like that.”

“It’s your super-power. You’re Empathy Man.”

Conner laughed now, his face lighting up again. “Empathy Man,” he giggled.

“But don’t let it hurt you. Don’t let it make you sad. The world is full of unhappy people, but never let them bring you down.”

As the words came out of her mouth, Zoe knew that she hadn’t believed them for most of her life. She’d allowed the ugliness of Drake’s personality hurt her, and her own negative thoughts about what her parents must have been like. She didn’t embrace the good around her. She hadn’t fully appreciated the couple who’d adopted her, even.

“You know, Conner, you’ve taught me a lot this morning,” she said, smiling. “And I’m grateful.”

“I have? Good,” he said. “You’ve taught me, too. You’re maybe the best teacher I ever had.”

Zoe wanted to cry again, but instead she let out a joyous laugh.

“Listen, I have to go talk to someone now,” she said, “But I’ve really liked talking to you. Can we speak again later?”

“Yeah. I think I’m going to go play with the other kids,” Conner said, getting up and running off as though nothing had happened.

Zoe sat still for a moment and a voice behind her said, “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

She turned to see Maddox, who was grinning.

“No. It was great, actually.”

“You’re good at this, you know. Kyla had a feeling about you, and she was right, of course.”

“I would never have thought I’d be good at talking to kids. But that was…that was special.”

“Stick around, Zoe. You’ve got a job if you want it.”

“Really? That was my interview?”

“Sure. And you got through with flying colours.”

She stood up now. “Thanks, Maddox, for doing this for me.”

“Don’t thank me. Thank my wonderful mate.”

“I will.”

Z
oe spent
the rest of the afternoon walking around and talking to other children. One young girl who seemed lost had recurring dreams about being in dark places, unable to tell what sort of animal she was as she stalked around in various bodies.

“You sound like me,” Zoe told her. The little girl’s face had lit up to think that there was someone else in the world, a grown woman, who had once been equally confused. “Don’t worry,” Zoe continued. “You’ll find your way and the darkness will fade. It’s doing that for me, but it takes time.”

The day gave her a sense of accomplishment the likes of which she’d never experienced in her entire life. Somehow, after years of feeling confused by her body and her role in the world, she had a purpose.

W
hen she had
a break at one point to eat, she found herself walking through the woods, thinking about Colson.

On paper he was perfect, or at least pretty great. He was kind, generous, and intelligent, and seemed genuinely fond of her. But Zoe recalled when she’d first met Drake. He’d swept her off her feet with his charming nature and his seeming interest in her personality. True, she occupied someone else’s body, but it seemed that what had impressed the man was her mind. And yet he’d turned out to be horrible.

As she thought about him, Zoe found herself becoming angry. A year of her life had been spent, wasted, on such a waste of a person. How had she not seen what he was from the start? And what if Colson was just the same sort of man?

“Maybe,” she thought, “What I need is just to be alone for a good, long time. As in forever.” She thought of what Kyla had said about vulnerability and letting others in, but she simply wasn’t ready. She felt as though her insides were scarred.

When the day had finished and Zoe had spent time with no fewer than seven children, each of whom struck her as wonderful, special and lovable in the ways she’d always hoped to be as a child, she ran into town and bought some food before heading towards her woods and her tree. She would now have enough food to last a few days, and from her home base she’d be able to prowl around in her panther form and get to know the woods better. A solitary pursuit, but one which would keep her concealed, at least.

When she arrived and climbed up to the platform that Colson had begun building, she found that it had grown somewhat, to the point where it looked as though the plan was to extend it fully around the tree’s tall trunk. Clearly the bear had returned while she was out.