Authors: A.D. Ryan
We
let our food digest, and after what had to be a couple hours—long enough
for some of us to take a nap beneath the stars, anyway—Marcus howled,
disbanding us for the evening. Everyone went about the rest of
their
evenings. Some of them would probably shift back and return
home, but I was starting to see the appeal of running like this.
Nick
and I stood up, shaking the snow from our coats. We were alone in the clearing
now. My right leg was still a little tender, but it was already starting to
heal and feel better. Nick seemed to be doing a bit better, too. I had no doubt
he was going to have a nasty bruise come morning, though.
The
moon came out from behind a cloud, and as the light shone down on us, I felt a
surge of playfulness run through me. I barked, dropped my front end down while
keeping my
tail-end
in the air, tail wagging, and
waited for Nick to catch on. He gave me that dopey wolf-smile, and then lunged
at me. We tumbled before scrambling to our feet and running. We chased each
other back onto our property, dodging and jumping over any obstacles that were
in our way. Once we were back on our land, I turned to jump Nick, but he was
gone.
When did I lose him?
I wondered to myself. I sniffed the air, catching only faint traces of him in
the cold air. I dropped my nose to the snow and started to sift through it,
sniffing the earth for his scent.
That’s
when he hit me from the side. I was startled at first, yelping, but when we
rolled to a
stop,
he looked down at me on my back, his
tongue hanging out and his eyes playful.
He
wanted to play hide-and-seek.
I
got up, flattened my ears back and barked at him—my way of telling him to
turn around while I hid. He got the hint, turning and walking a few paces away
before laying down with his head on his front paws. To test him, I took a few
steps to my left. His ears perked up, his left ear flicking in that direction.
I went right, same thing, just reversed.
This
was going to take some strategizing.
I
went left, but instead of staying left, I circled around, making sure to give
him a wide berth so he wouldn’t be able to track me easily. I pranced in the
snow, dropped my nose beneath it and then flicked my head up so it rained down
on me. I also rolled around in it as I went back and forth a few times, messing
up the direction of my tracks. When I found myself hidden deep within the
trees, I hid beneath a low pine tree. The smell was unreal as I lifted my nose
to the low-hanging branch above me. My nose touched a needle at just the right
angle, and I pulled back when its sharpness surprised me. A little snow from
the branch floated all around me. It was so beautiful.
After
a few minutes of playful exploration of my hiding spot, I yipped to let Nick
know I was ready. I hoped it was loud enough to reach him, but not too loud
that it gave away my position. I lay low, placing my nose on my paws, then
beneath them, then between them, my excitement too much for me to keep still
for longer than a second.
When
I heard heavy, deliberate footfalls, as well as the sound of sniffing behind
me, I grew anxious. He was good. I would have to learn how to cover my tracks
better next time. There was a large,
wolfy
shadow that
loomed over my hiding spot since the moon was to my back. I was just about to
come out of hiding and declare him the winner—or pounce on him; whichever
felt more right in the moment—when I noticed his sand-colored fur
straight ahead. His nose was to the ground as he tried to figure out which direction
I’d gone.
Panic
seized my heart, my breath coming hard and fast. The pine tree had masked the
scent of my seeker, but the feeling of dread that filled my body like lead
meant that it could only be one wolf.
Karl.
W
hen Karl didn’t move, I
figured maybe he didn’t see me. I stayed diligent, watching and waiting for
Nick to find me before Karl made a move. He had to. I was prepared to lie under
that pine tree in silence for as long as it took. If it kept me from picking up
Karl’s scent, then surely it was masking mine.
My
ears flicked when I heard Karl take another step forward, and his low growl
warned me that he knew exactly where I was. I felt his nose on the tip of my
tail, and I yipped, tucking it tightly into my body. When I turned my head, I
found him crouching, his yellow eyes on me. I didn’t like the way he stared at
me—like he wanted to devour me. I shivered, and it wasn’t because of the snow
or dipping temperature.
He
inched toward me on his belly. Releasing a warning growl, I darted out from my
hiding place and toward where I last saw Nick. Karl followed. When he got too
close, I snapped at him, but he anticipated it and moved to the side. When he
refused to relent, I picked up my pace; I was smaller than Karl, which meant I
was faster and could maneuver much easier through the forest. I looked around
frantically for Nick as I ran, and that was my first mistake. I tripped, giving
Karl the advantage he needed.
I
scrambled to try and get back on my feet, but I was having trouble finding traction
on the snow and ice beneath it. By the time I finally found my footing, Karl
was practically on top of me. When he was a few feet away from me, he stopped running,
walking with an aggressive confidence that made me panic even more. Every stalking
footstep he took echoed in my head, and the way his eyes glowed in the moonlight
was eerie, especially when his mouth fell open into a toothy, malevolent grin.
I
hated that I was terrified of him, because that wasn’t who I was. I was strong,
confident, and capable of defending myself…when I was human. Like this, I was
useless. Sure, my instincts kicked in when we were hunting, but now? I was in
fight or flight mode, and fighting wasn’t an option. I wasn’t used to this
body; I didn’t know how to use it to my advantage. I had proven that the night
David died.
Where is Nick? Why hasn’t he
found me yet?
I wondered frantically.
I wish I could call for him… Wait, I can!
I
opened my mouth to bark or howl—I wasn’t too picky, as long as he could
hear me—but before I could get anything out, Karl pounced, flipped me onto
my back, and wrapped his jaws around my throat to strangle the sound. That was
when my instincts switched on, and I struggled beneath him. I kicked my legs,
clawing at his underbelly as he worked to stop me from moving around. I whipped
my spine back and forth, trying to loosen his grip on my jugular. I still
couldn’t make a sound, but after one good kick to his stomach, he released me.
I smelled his blood as I rolled off my back and scrambled to my feet.
My
vocal chords had been pinched from the pressure of his bite, so I was unable to
bark or howl, and I only made it another two feet before he jumped on my back.
He was heavy, and when he grabbed the scruff of my neck, he pulled the skin so
tight I could only release a whisper of a breath.
His
front legs were on either side of my shoulders as he stood over me, pushing his
snout down so I was forced to remain on my belly in the snow. My eyes burned
with tears as I prepared for what was about to happen, and a whimper of fear
and defeat finally escaped.
Karl’s
jaw tightened, his teeth cutting into my skin beneath the thick fur on my neck,
and he pushed down harder, muffling any future sounds with the snow around my
face. He repositioned his feet, pulling them tighter to my body so I wouldn’t
be able to wiggle away, and I closed my eyes, trying to force myself to black
out. It was getting harder to breathe with Karl pulling my skin taught and
pressing my face into the ground, so at the very least, I hoped to lose
consciousness before he did what I knew he intended to do.
The
pain I could handle. Knowing what my body looked like as it went through each
stage of the change, you bet.
But this?
This was too
much. This I didn’t want to remember or even be lucid through.
It
didn’t work. The blackness never swallowed me, and I was so scared that I just
gave up. There was no point. I tried fighting, and it didn’t work. My only hope
would be if Nick showed up and—
The
weight above me disappeared. I briefly wondered if I had blacked out and was
just coming out of it, but the feral growls around me told me I was still very
much aware and only seconds had passed. One by one, I opened my eyes to find
Nick and Karl fighting. There was a rage in Nick’s eyes I’d never seen before,
and Karl was just as angry for having been interrupted.
They
were so vicious, teeth snapping and tearing at one another, that the air reeked
of their fury and blood. My heart was still pounding, speeding up exponentially
as I watched them fight. Eventually, all I could hear was my pulse in my ears.
An uncontrollable shiver started in the tips of my ears, working its way down
to the end of my tail until every muscle quaked. I couldn’t stop it no matter
how hard I tried. I knew it was a combination of my fear as well as my
adrenaline dispelling itself from my body and that it would just have to run
its course.
Nick
slammed Karl into the ground directly in front of me, and Karl retaliated by
biting down on Nick’s lower leg. Nick yelped, but didn’t relent in his attack.
Afraid
of their close proximity, I scrambled backward, hiding beneath the nearest
tree. I went back as far as possible, pressing myself against the trunk of the
pine tree and sitting up instead of lying down so I was out of reach. Their
growls echoed in the night, and occasionally one of them would yelp shrilly
when the other would connect. Blood flowed from the various wounds covering
their bodies, and red stained the snow around them.
Paranoid
of another sneak attack, my ears continued to flit back and forth, listening
for any other threats that might be coming my way, but all I heard was the wolf
fight that was happening six feet from my current hiding spot.
Then
the fighting stopped. There was heavy breathing from both of them, but one
sounded weak—defeated. I couldn’t bring myself to look and see
who
the victor was, and I admit, my mind went to the worst
case scenario. Even in the darkness, I heard the snap of bones and the struggle
that one goes through when changing, and I feared what was going to happen
next. With a whimper, I turned my head toward the tree trunk and pressed my
forehead to it, clenching my eyes shut while I waited for Karl to drag me out.
“Brooke?”
Nick?
The sound of his voice surprised me, but I still didn’t move, afraid that maybe
I was hearing things. It could still be Karl out there.
“Brooke,”
Nick called again softly. “Baby, it’s okay. It’s safe now.”
Slowly,
I opened my eyes and turned my head. Nick was there, naked, kneeling in the
snow, and reaching out to me beneath the tree. There was a cut above his eye
that was bleeding pretty profusely down the side of his face, and he had
several deep-looking bites to his arms, legs, and torso. He didn’t seem too
bothered by them as he inched forward again. Still rattled by everything that
had happened—
everything that
almost
happened
, I tried telling myself to no
avail—I recoiled. I saw the hurt in his eyes, and I wanted to apologize,
but all that came out was a pained whimper.
“Baby,”
he pleaded. “Please come out. He won’t hurt you again, I
swear it.
”
I
couldn’t move. I was paralyzed in place by fear. All I could think about was
Karl holding me to the ground, his
hulkish
wolf body
standing over me and preparing to…
preparing
to…
I
whimpered again, my trembling legs suddenly unable to hold me up, and I collapsed.
I
wouldn’t come out of hiding in this body. I couldn’t. It wasn’t strong like
Nick said it was. It was weak. I didn’t know how to defend myself this way.
Scared
and angry, Nick growled his frustration, pounding his fists into the ground before
standing up. I startled at the outburst, and when he moved out of my line of
vision, I noticed Karl’s naked human body laying in the snow with his back to
me. He was in worse condition than Nick, bones broken, his body battered and
bloodied. While it was faint, I could hear his heart beating and his chest
moved with each labored breath he took. He would live. I could sense his bones
and internal organs already starting to knit themselves back together.
“MARCUS!”
Nick screamed. He called out again and again, and soon, there were several sets
of footsteps rushing toward us.
“What’s
going on?” Marcus demanded as he assessed the situation. “Where’s Brooke?”
Nick
explained what had happened, starting with our playful run through the woods to
when he found Karl hovering over
me and what
he
planned to do. Then there were three new sets of eyes on me beneath the tree:
Miranda, Marcus, and Colby, who
was
still in wolf
form. Nick crouched down again and tried to coax me out, but I refused to
budge. Even though I knew he would never hurt me, I planned to stay out of
reach until I shifted back and was better able to defend myself. I wouldn’t
take any chances.
“Brooke…”
Nick’s voice sounded strained and like this physically pained him.
Miranda
laid a hand on his shoulder. “Nick, go with Marcus. Take that animal inside and
deal with the situation.”
“But—”
“
Go
,” she interrupted sharply. “She’s
just been through something traumatic. She’s petrified. Let me help her. I
won’t let anyone hurt her.”
Nick
was reluctant, but when Marcus asked for his help to take Karl back to the
house, he obeyed. And soon it was just
me, Miranda, and Colby
.
“Brooke,
honey,” Miranda soothed. “It’s okay. They’re all gone now. Do you want to come
out?”
I
whimpered again, burying my nose in the dirt and snow.
“Okay…okay.”
She turned to Colby, whose sympathetic eyes held mine. “Colby, do you think you
can shift back? Sunrise isn’t for a few hours, but do you think you could shift
now?”
Colby
looked from me to her mom then nodded once.
Miranda
smiled. “Good girl. I want you to run into the house and grab a blanket from
Brooke’s room. Something that smells familiar to
her
. Don’t grab anything from the linen closet. This is very
important. We can’t risk her picking up any traces of…” She stopped herself
from talking, and after a moment, Colby seemed to understand what Miranda meant
and took off toward the house.
While
Colby was off fetching a blanket, Miranda relaxed flat onto her belly, regardless
of the cold snow. She scurried beneath the tree a little further, and I tried
to move back but couldn’t since I was already flush with the tree. Since I
didn’t see any escape in my current form, I pinned my ears back and growled a
warning at her before snapping my teeth in her direction.
Seeing
my fear, she held up her hands in surrender. “Hey,” she whispered. “It’s okay.
It’s just you and me here,
hun
. You have nothing to
be afraid of.” Undeterred, she slowly slid her hand over the snow until she
brushed my paw. I flinched, but felt her warmth—her sincerity—seep
into me, and I exhaled a breath of relief.
“You’re
safe now,” she said softly, inching closer, her hand moving up to my knee. My ears
remained pinned flat, but I softened the expression on my face and laid my chin
on my legs. “There you go. Just relax.”
“Mom,”
Colby said, falling to her knees in the snow, a blanket clutched tightly in her
hands. “I’ve got it.”
As
Miranda turned and grabbed the blanket with her free hand, I noticed Colby was
dressed in a baggy black sweater and a pair of jeans tucked into her winter
boots. “Thank you, sweetie.” She turned back to me and smiled as she pulled the
blanket to her nose and smelled it. Once she seemed pleased, she held it out to
me. “Brooke, I’m going to wrap this around you. You’re shaking like a leaf, and
while I don’t know how much of it is the cold, this will help keep you warm
after you shift back.” She moved slowly, opening the blanket up and draping it
over my back. “There. Now, do you want to try and change back now, or wait?”
The
idea of staying like this any longer than necessary sounded horrible. I wanted
my old body back. I wanted to feel strong and confident again. I hated this.
“I
can talk you through it if you need me to,” Colby whispered softly,
army-crawling under the tree to join us.
So
she did. She had me close my eyes and focus on my breathing. She had me
visualize my old body—the body that I was stronger in—and after an
hour of excruciating pain, I was naked and crawling out from beneath a pine
tree with my blanket from back home wrapped around my shoulders. The blanket
that David and I frequently cuddled beneath on the couch while watching
television. It still smelled like him, filling my head with pleasant memories.