Wolf Creek Widow (Wolf Creek, Arkansas Book 4) (19 page)

* * *

Thanksgiving arrived, and with it a light sprinkling of snow that glittered like diamond dust over the brown grass and bare tree limbs. Meg knew the skimpy layer would be gone by midmorning, but it made the start of the day even more unusual.

Even though Meg and Nita were determined to make this a special day for all, they decided to take Rachel’s advice and pamper themselves by sleeping later than they normally did.

They had the centerpiece of the meal under control since the turkey was already smoked. A whiff of the hickory Ace had used teased their nostrils every time they passed by the large ironstone platter where the bird rested.

Nita had made the pecan pies the evening before, filling the little house with the wonderful aromas of butter and roasting nuts. The sweet potatoes would be baked in the Dutch oven later in the morning, and the turnips, which would be mashed with fresh butter, wouldn’t take long to cook. Turnip greens simmered gently over the fire, and the aroma of the bacon used to flavor them mingled with the other mouthwatering smells.

They ate at noon on the dot. It seemed to Meg that the simple country fare tasted far better than usual, which she credited to her company. Lucy and Teddy seemed to get into the joyful spirit, and Teddy offered to say the prayer of thanksgiving for their blessings.

Meg was surprised at how grown up he sounded as he thanked God not only for the food, their house and all the animals, but also for Nita and Ace. When he prayed for Ace to come home, Meg couldn’t help the rush of tears or the way her breath caught at the knowledge that Teddy had come to look up to Ace, to depend on him. To love him. And no wonder. Ace had been more of a father to him than Elton had ever been. She dreaded the day Teddy realized that Ace wasn’t coming back.

After the noon meal, Nita suggested that they go for a walk in the woods and find things to decorate for the upcoming Christmas holiday. Meg’s heart overflowed with love for the pretty older woman who’d come into her life so unexpectedly and, through her willing spirit, patience and gentle ways, had made herself an important part of their lives.

The walk in the woods was filled with fun and laughter, and even Lucy, bundled up against the chill air, giggled when her faltering steps sent her tumbling into the leaves. Holly and pine and cedar were plentiful, but Nita explained to Teddy that the fragrant branches would dry out and turn brown if they picked them too early, so they didn’t take anything home except some huge pinecones. Nita said they would pile them in one of her baskets with some greenery and tie a bow on the handle. Teddy had great fun picking up the pinecones and placing them gently in the tow sack she’d brought.

When they came to Meg’s special place, memories of the last time she’d been there with Ace slipped into her mind, like the water rushing over the rocks of the creek. She could almost smell the smoke from his fire.

On impulse, she took a stick and knelt to stir the remains of the fire. There, beneath the gray ash, were small glowing embers. He’d been here! She didn’t know long ago, but recently enough that the fire hadn’t grown fully cold. Knowing it was insanity, she stood and peered into the thick undergrowth, turning in a full circle as she searched the woods. She saw nothing except naked scrub, fallen leaves and an occasional lichen-covered boulder.

“What are you doing, Mama?” Teddy asked, looking up at her curiously.

Meg’s guilty gaze found Nita’s. Nita Allen knew exactly what she was doing.

“J-just looking for some more holly,” she fibbed. “I don’t see any, but it’s getting colder. I think we should start back.”

“I agree,” Nita said. When Teddy began to whine, she added, “We’ll have some milk and pie when we get back, and then I think we all need a Thanksgiving nap. Look! Lucy is rubbing her eyes.”

With Teddy somewhat mollified, they started the tramp back through the woods. On the way, Meg spotted a sprig of mistletoe the wind must have blown down. For some reason it reminded her of the day Ace had plucked the twig from her hair. She realized just how far she’d come since then. On impulse, she picked it up.

When they reached the house and the others went inside, she paused on the front porch for just a moment, wishing there were some way she could let Ace know that she wanted him to come back. Finally, unable to think of anything else, she suspended the piece of mistletoe on the dinner bell that hung from one of the porch posts. Then she opened her arms wide the same way he did when he welcomed the sunrise. She turned slowly from one side to the other.

Was he out there?

Would he understand?

Would he care?

* * *

Ace had no problem following the little quartet through the woods without them being aware of him. He was close enough to see most of what they did but far enough away that their conversations were inaudible. He couldn’t help smiling when he saw Meg sit back on her heels and stir the ashes of the fire, one of the tracking hints about which he’d told her. The smile faded when she looked around at the bare forest. Looking for him.

What was she feeling? Anger that he’d left without telling her he was going? He had no idea. Even more important, he had no idea why he’d come back. Nothing had really changed except the season.

After spending a few days getting things settled, he had made the long trek to Oklahoma, intending to spend some time with his aging grandmother and to put as many miles between himself and Meg as possible.

Though the distance was great, everything about her followed him. Images of her seldom left his mind. He heard her rare laughter in the rustling of the trees, imagined he could smell the clean scent of her hair on a sudden gust of wind. His heart ached to hold her. His spirit cried out for her. He wasn’t sure he would ever be able to banish her from his mind or his heart. A long, empty life stretched out before him.

Feeling lower than a snake’s belly, needing the benefit of her wisdom, Ace told his grandmother everything about Meg, from the first time he’d seen her in Wolf Creek to his last memory of her when he’d left her standing by the fire.

It hadn’t taken long for Amadahy to set him straight.

The tiny birdlike woman with the heart of a bear had exhibited no remorse when she’d told Ace in no uncertain terms that he was acting like a fool for using excuses to drive Meg away. He wanted to argue in his defense, but no one argued with Amadahy. They listened until she finished and then they thanked her.

“You are a fool, Asa Allen,” she told him, her dark eyes narrowed as she squinted at him through the smoke of a clay pipe. “Do I hear you saying that you fear that perhaps you killed this man because you cared for his woman?”

Ace, who was sitting at her feet with his arms around his knees, squirmed at the disapproval in her voice. “No. I know I had no choice but to protect myself and my friend. I know I jerked the gun because Elton’s bullet nicked my arm. I wish things could have been different, but that’s not what’s bothering me.”

“Tell me.”

Ace met her gaze squarely. “I was glad he was dead, Grandmother, and that is not the way a Christian or an honorable man should feel.”

“We feel what we feel, right or wrong. You tell me you don’t want her and her children to go through what you and your mother did. Times are changing, and your woman’s ways are different than ours. Just as your mother’s was, her heart is involved. She should have a say in what she is willing to endure to have a life with you. You tell me that she has been through many troubles and that she is strong.”

“Very strong.”

Amadahy gave a shrug of her narrow shoulders. “Who can say? Perhaps those troubles have strengthened her even more. Perhaps they were preparing her for the trials she may suffer as your wife.”

Ace felt like Teddy looked when he got a scolding from Meg.

Amadahy pointed the stem of the pipe at him. “It is the way of men to talk, my son. They will talk and talk about everything and everyone. They have talked about you more than most, perhaps. It has taken you many years to find out who Asa Allen is, and for the first time, the Creator has given you peace with yourself.”

She paused long enough to take another long draw on her pipe while Ace tried to figure out where she was headed with this conversation. He didn’t have to wait long.

“I think it is possible that it is you who is afraid of more talk. I think that maybe you like living in the shadows of the woods instead of out in the world so that no one can criticize you.”

The no-nonsense statement had taken Ace aback. Was that what he’d been doing?

“You have much to offer. Stories and hard truths. Knowledge and love. Much love,” she had told him. Then she’d told him to leave her, that she was weary of talking.

He’d left the reservation soon after his talk with his grandmother, and during the long journey home, he’d given serious thought to her comment about the things Meg had gone through making her stronger. Could he dare to hope that Amadahy was right?

He blew out a disgusted breath, making the air around him fog. He wasn’t ready to deal with that just yet, so here he was, a grown man hiding in the woods and the barn, watching for a glimpse of the woman he loved as she spent time with her children. The children he’d come to love.

He was standing at the edge of the clearing, hidden by a persimmon thicket, watching as his mother and the children traipsed into the house. He saw Meg stop on the porch and look out at the woods again, almost as if she sensed his presence. Then she went to the dinner bell and placed something on the metal bracket that held it. Stepping back, she spread her arms out and turned slowly from side to side, as if she were welcoming someone. The way he welcomed the sun.

Ace frowned. What was she doing? After a while, she let her arms fall to her sides and turned to go inside. Later, when the landscape turned dusky dark, he stole through the gloaming to see what she’d left on the bell.

Mistletoe! His heart began to race as he considered the implication of the small gift. She’d left him kisses. Smiling a silly smile, he counted the berries. Nine kisses. He closed his eyes and thought of the feel and taste of her lips and what it would be like to have the right to kiss them every day for the rest of his life.

He moved quietly through the twilight to the barn, still making no move to go to her. Amadahy was right about his living his life on the fringes. It was much easier that way. The simple truth was that he was scared of what it would mean if she said yes. He was afraid that they would think her a fool for marrying a man with no future for the second time.

He knew how men thought. Many would say that since Meg had married so soon after Elton’s death, she’d probably been carrying on with him while Elton was in jail. They would drag out his old sins and parade them through town. Hers, too. Without a doubt, they would be the focus of everyone’s talk, at least for a time.

His grandmother was right about another thing.

About this at least, he was behaving like a fool.

Chapter Fifteen

T
wo mornings later, Teddy was sleeping later than usual, and Meg was feeding Lucy her oatmeal when she heard hoofbeats thundering down the road. She gave Lucy’s mouth a swipe, set her on the floor and went to see what was going on. Nita joined Meg at the window. At first she couldn’t tell who the rider was, but finally realized it was the sheriff.

Memories of other times she’d seen Colt Garrett coming down the road set off an immediate feeling of alarm. Her anxiety eased when she remembered that the law would not be coming after Elton ever again. Going to the door, she stepped out onto the porch, hugging herself against the biting chill of the air.

“Mornin’, Colt,” she said. “Come on in out of the cold and have some coffee.”

“Mornin’, Meg. Coffee would be great,” he said, dismounting and striding up to the porch.

“What are you doing out and about so early?”

“Rachel sent me,” he told her, whipping off his hat and gesturing for her to precede him.

The uneasy feeling returned. Why on earth would Rachel send the sheriff at such an early hour?

Nita handed Colt a mug of coffee. He took it from her, but his eyes never left Meg.

A feeling of doom seemed to be closing in on her. “What is it, Colt?” she asked.

“It’s Georgie, Meg. She’s real bad and asking for you.”

* * *

In spite of the ill will between Meg and her mother, there wasn’t an ounce of hesitation as she prepared to go to Georgie’s side. She didn’t recall ever being summoned by her mother for anything but a scolding. Colt hitched up the wagon while she got ready, and then he tied his horse to the back and drove her to the Ferris place while Nita stayed with the children.

The ride to the little house located on a back road a couple of miles outside of Wolf Creek seemed to take forever. Meg recognized Rachel’s buggy and another tied to the hitching post, an unfamiliar horse next to them. When Colt knocked, Meg’s aunt Serena opened the door. A frisson of alarm tripped down Meg’s spine when she saw the preacher standing near the fireplace.

“I’m glad you came, Meg,” Serena said with a weary smile and a brief hug. “I wasn’t sure you would. She’s been asking for you.”

After Meg greeted the preacher, her aunt took her by the hand and led her across the gaudily decorated parlor to a closed door. A dozen questions swirled through Meg’s mind, but one stood out. Why was the pastor at her mother’s house?

The door opened to a small bedroom at Serena’s light rap. Rachel welcomed Meg with a hug, but her attention was on the woman who lay so still beneath the pile of quilts.

As she approached the bed, she could see that Georgie had lost a considerable amount of weight since she’d run into her outside of Ellie’s—how many weeks ago? It was the first time Meg remembered seeing her mother without the benefit of her powder and paint.

Hectic color heightened her cheeks and there were dark circles beneath her eyes. Even so, her unadorned face was truly beautiful with its softly winged brows, straight nose and prettily shaped lips. Pain squeezed Meg’s heart. What a shame that the world had not seen this Georgie Ferris. What a shame that she had been so insecure and dissatisfied in who she was that she’d found the need to create another person.

Meg’s guilty gaze sought Rachel’s. “I...I thought there would be more time.”

“There probably would have been, if she hadn’t contracted pneumonia. With her lungs already in distress, it’s just too much.”

Meg looked from her aunt to the doctor. “Pneumonia?”

Rachel actually smiled. “That’s the good news in all this.”

“How can that be good news?” How could her mother’s pneumonia be to her advantage in any way?

“She sent for Brother McAdams a few days ago,” Serena said. “She said she wanted to make things right with God—with everyone—and insisted on being baptized in the creek.”

“But it’s freezing outside!”

“We all argued with her,” Rachel said, “and Gabe even offered to fill one of his slipper tubs so we could do it inside.” She gave a humorless smile. “You know your mother as well as anyone, and there was no changing her mind.”

That was a fact. Once Georgina Ferris made up her mind about something, there was no swaying her.

“There’s nothing we can do?” Meg asked.

“I’m doing what I can. I’ve been putting poultices on her chest and giving her flaxseed and slippery elm tea when she can take it, but I don’t think it’s doing much good,” Rachel told her apologetically.

“I came to check on her,” Serena offered, “and even though her cough was worse, I assumed it was the consumption. Maybe if I’d fetched Rachel sooner...”

“I don’t know if that would have made any difference at this point,” Rachel said when Serena’s voice trailed away.

“Where’s Charlie?” Meg asked, realizing she’d seen no sign of the man who’d been such a terrible influence on her mother.

“That’s another good thing. Georgie sent him away the day she sent for Brother McAdams. Said she never wanted to see him again.”

“Should have done it years ago.”

The observation, spoken in little more than a breathless whisper, came from the woman on the bed.

“Mama.” Meg was at her side in an instant and took one thin hand in hers.

Georgie smiled up weakly at her daughter. “Thank you for coming. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you hadn’t.”

“Don’t talk,” Meg said. “Save your strength.”

“I brought you here to tell you some things.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Meg insisted. “All that matters is that you get better.” Tears began to slip down her cheeks. “I should have come when I first heard you were sick. I’m sorry, Mama.”

“You’re like me that way,” Georgie said with a twist of her lips that was meant to be a smile. “Bullheaded. And just for the record, I’m the one who’s sorry.”

A severe coughing spell interrupted whatever it was she was about to say. Meg didn’t miss the streaks of blood on the scrap of white cloth Georgina tossed into a wooden box at the bedside.

When she was in control once more, Georgie said, “I’m ashamed to say that when your father died, I was so miserable I wanted to die, too. And then along came Charlie, and he was fun, and he made me forget my unhappiness for a while. I came to depend on him for a lot of things, including the roof over my head for a time. And then when his money ran out and he began to ask me to do...things I should have been ashamed to do, I did them to make him happy.”

Meg closed her eyes, but she couldn’t close her ears. “You don’t have to tell me this.”

“Yes,” Georgina said, fighting for every shallow breath. “I do. That’s one reason I tried to put as much distance between us as possible by goading you and pushing you off on Serena every chance I got. I knew she and Dave would give you the background you needed to live a decent life.”

“And the other reason?” Meg asked.

“I admit to being a weak woman, Meg,” she said, her grip tightening. “But I’ve never been stupid.” Her smile was as dry as dust. “Well, maybe a little stupid when it came to Charlie. I saw how he and his buddies looked at you and I knew what he had on his mind. I didn’t want that for you, so I kept picking those fights. The good Lord knows I wanted you gone, but I never meant to drive you into Elton Thomerson’s arms.”

Meg forced a short laugh. “Believe me, I was well aware of Charlie, and I wanted out, too, and if it hadn’t been Elton, it would have been someone else.”

She sighed. “I have to give the devil his due. Elton had a way about him that was hard to resist. By the time I started figuring out what kind of man he really was, I was pregnant with Teddy, and I was stuck.”

Georgie gave a reasonable try at her signature snort of disgust. “You should have just walked away and let the gossips talk. They did anyway.”

“You’re right,” Meg said. There was no sense telling her mother that every time she’d threatened to leave, Elton had told her he would find her and drag her back and make her sorry she’d gone. Meg didn’t say a thing about that. It was in the past. Instead, she and her mother shared a smile for the first time since... She couldn’t remember when.

“I’m proud of you, Meg,” Georgina said.

Meg shook her head, denying that she deserved the compliment. “I’ve made mistakes, too, Mama.”

“You have. Everyone does. But you’ve worked hard to overcome them, and you’ve turned out to be a good person despite who your mama or your husband was.”

“Thank you for that,” Meg said, blinking fast. “That means a lot.”

Georgie looked at her sister. “I want to thank you for all you’ve done, Serena. Despite everything I’ve been and done, I never doubted your love for me.” Her voice was barely louder than a whisper.

“You’re my sister,” Serena said, as if the simple statement explained it all.

Georgie smiled at Serena and gave her attention back to Meg. “I wish things had been different. I wish I’d been different, because I’ve always loved you and I threw you away for a man who wasn’t fit to breathe air.”

Tears filled the green eyes, so much like Meg’s. “I’ve made my peace with God and I know He’s forgiven me. I pray that someday you can, too.”

Meg didn’t recall ever seeing her mother any way but feisty and difficult. The genuine contrition in her manner was something Meg had hoped for through the years, but never thought she’d see.

Her mother was saying goodbye.

“I have forgiven you,” Meg said, and the moment the words left her lips she knew it was true.

Georgina Ferris died three hours later.

* * *

When Meg left for town, Ace lost no time going to talk to his mother, who was overjoyed to see him. She wasn’t the only one. Lucy toddled over to him and grabbed the fringe on his leather pants, begging him to pick her up.

“Where’s Teddy?” he asked, doing just that and letting Lucy smear wet kisses on his cheek.

“Still sleeping.”

“It’s just as well,” Ace said in a low voice, bouncing the baby on his knee. “I can’t stay long and don’t want Meg to know I’m back just yet.”

Nita set a cup of coffee in front of her son and took a seat across from him. “How is my mother?”

After Ace assured her that Amadahy was as well as could be expected for her age, she asked, “Did she offer you any new thoughts about you and Meg?”

Ace flashed one of his rare smiles. “She told me I was a fool.”

“I’m afraid I would tend to agree.”

Ace laughed softly, trying his best not to wake Teddy. Until recently, he hadn’t had much to laugh about. He told his mother what he’d confessed to his grandmother about being fearful of the slurs people might sling at him and Meg if they married. “She told me that Meg should be allowed to make the decision whether or not she wanted to go through that.”

Nita nodded. “I agree. Two hearts are involved in this thing called love, and two hearts should come together in every decision.”

Ace only nodded. “Grandmother also asked me if my concern was really for Meg or if I was fearful of facing the gossip again myself. She told me I’ve been hiding from the pain that life hands out by avoiding people.”

“And?” Nita asked gently.

“I think she’s right. Now I just have to see if I’m man enough to be the man Meg thinks I am.”

* * *

Serena, the preacher and Rachel offered to take care of the funeral arrangements, which would happen in two days. Serena and Dave would pay for the casket.

Colt offered to drive Meg back, but she thanked him for his trouble and told him that she was fine and didn’t want to bother him to make the extra trip.

As Meg made her way back home, she thought of the conversation with her mother. As wrong and as hurtful as Georgina’s treatment of her had been, she had been doing her misguided best to give Meg a chance for a decent life.

Unfortunately, things hadn’t worked out as planned; in fact, they often didn’t. Ace was right. God gave everyone choices every day. Good or bad, our lives reflected those choices. Meg had assumed that she was more or less free of her mother’s influence since she seldom had contact with her. That couldn’t be further from the truth. The truth was that Georgina Ferris had influenced almost every choice Meg had ever made.

No more feeling sorry for yourself, Meg Thomerson.
No more blaming God for the bad things that had come her way. In the end, whatever had happened in her past was the sum of those choices, and there was nothing to do about them once they were made, except to live with the results.

Meg took a deep breath of the cold air and realized that making the choice to forgive her mother had lightened a burden she’d carried for a long time. It was not a decision she’d regret.

She prayed all the way home, and by the time she reached the little whitewashed house, her sorrow over her mother’s death was tempered by the fact that Georgie had made the choice, however late it might have been, to make things right with the Lord.

* * *

The moment she walked through the door, Nita must have known what had happened by the look on Meg’s face. She’d come to know the older woman so well over the past weeks that she had no qualms about telling her everything her mother had said as they shared a cup of tea.

“It’s good that you went, then,” Nita told her, giving her hand a pat.

“It is,” Meg agreed, “but I should have gone when I first heard she was sick.”

“There’s no sense fretting and blaming yourself over the things you should have done,” Nita said. “The important thing is that you got there in time, and you resolved your differences.”

Meg nodded. “Today made me aware of something else, something I know but more or less ignored, I guess.” She gave a short, almost embarrassed laugh. “It’s something that, maybe more than anyone, I should be aware of.”

Nita regarded her with a questioning look.

“We aren’t promised tomorrow, so there’s no sense in ruining today with anger or blame or regrets. We need to tell people we love them and make our apologies when we need to and just...welcome every potential source of love that crosses our path.”

“It sounds as if you’ve got things figured out,” Nita said.

“Well,” Meg said with a crooked smile, “I’m at least getting there. And I’ve made up my mind what to do about Ace.”