Witness Protection (The Witness Series) (12 page)

I burst out with laughter and Janelle glares.

“What do you want?” Ryder snaps.

“Can we have a word Ryder?”

“Fine.”

They walk into the spare room and with a
giggle,
Nate and I tiptoe down and press our ears to the door.

“Nate, you are a big child.” I chastise him.

“I blame you.”

We grin at one another and listen to Ryder and Janelle talking.

“What is going on Ryder?”

“Nothing that is your business.”

“We have unresolved issues and you are screwing around.”

“That has nothing to do with our
issues,
I spent a whole night with you the other night, stop complaining. You can’t show up here.”

“That girl, you love her?”

“What, no.”

My heart clenches and I step back, Nate looks over at me and smiles weakly.

“It is complicated sweetheart, don’t look like that.”

“What?” I
mutter, shrugging.
“I am fine.”

“No, you aren’t. You love him?”

“No Nate, I don’t love him or you! You are both just a way out while things are bad, none of this.” I say, waving m
y hands around. “Means anything, you two mean nothing.
”

“You know what, if that’s how you feel, fine. You can go to hell.”

“Nate!” I yell but he is gone.

I sigh and sl
ump my head against the
wall, what the hell is wron
g with me? It isn’t Nate’s fault, he has been nothing but kind to me. I storm off to my room and get
into the shower and scrub my hair four times, it is about time this hair dye came out. It has slowly begun to fade, being only a rinse but I want it all gone. I scrub until it is, then I step out, dry it and brush it down so it falls in waves. I peer at myself in the mirror, now my hair is a sparkling honey
colour,
my brown eyes stand out even more. I sigh and dress, checking the time, I decide to lay down a while, I need to be alone and clearly so do Ryder and Nate.

I don’t wake until four in the afternoon, my head thrums when I sit up. Who drinks during the middle of the day, seriously? I climb out of bed and tidy myself up, then walk out. I can hear voices, quite a few and remember the two men said they were having guests over.
Friends?
Family?
N
o, when I walk out and see a girl and a young handsome man
, I feel my insides clench. Even worse, when the two men give me a look that says they are both mad at me.
I was drunk and hurt but clearly they thought I was serious and decided to punish me.

“Oh, we di
dn’t realize you had company.” The
young, pretty dark haired girl says.

“Just a house mate,
” Ryder purrs at her. “Not important.”

His words slice right to my core. I didn’t mean to hurt them so much. It’s too late now though, they have clearly decided moving on is the best option. I guess my feelings are one sided and that only makes me feel worse. I clang and bang
lo
udly in the kitchen as I pull out something to eat for dinner.

“Are you sure we are ok here?” The
young man asks Nate.

“Don’t mind her, just forget she is here.”

I slam the saucepan down hard on the
bench, causing the girl
to jump. I give her a rude smile.

“Don’t mind me, just making some food. Carry on.”

She laughs nervously and Ryder glares through me, Nate still refuses to even look at me. He is on the couch, sliding hi
s hand over the
man’s
leg
. Fury bellows through me at a rapid pace. I pull out a wine bottle and pop the
cork,
it goes flying across the room and smashes a glass on the table.

“Oops.” I mutter.

“Enough!” Ryder yells, standing. “Get back to your room.”

“I beg your pardon?” I hiss.

“Get the fuck back to your room!” He roars.

“Up your ass.”

“Fine,
we will go then.”

My hands tremble with rage and I am overwhelmed with emotion.

“Don’t bother, I will go.” I snap.

I step to move
but drop my glass on the ground, I hiss and swear loudly, then drop to my knees with a tea towel and
begin dabbing up the red wine that has spilled over the floor
. Tears thunder down my cheeks, and I am struggling to breathe.

“Give us a minute.” I hear Nate say.

I see two pairs of feet come into view, but I don’t look up. I continue to clean up the mess and pick up bits of glass. I hiccup and that is enough for the two men to kneel.

“Go away.” I snap.

“Why are you crying?” Ryder asks.

I glare at him, then to Nate.
“Really?
Why am I crying? You are that fucking blind? Wow, don’t bother if you are so damned stupid you can’t see that I… fuck this.”

I stand and dump the tea towel on the ground and storm out. Ryder grips my hand and swings me back.

“What? You what? Best you tell me because as far as I heard, we
are nothing but fill
ins
and we mean nothing to you
.”

“I was angry! I was angry because…because you said you didn’t love me.”

He looks shocked. “What?”

“To Janelle, you said you didn’t love me.”

“I don’t love you.”

Ouch, he might as well have slapped me.

“My point exactly.”
I choke
.

“No, you don’t run off in
a mood, you bloody well tell me
what that little tantrum was about.”

I reef my hands from his. “Go and finish your fucks boys, I am done. Tomorrow, I am calling James Clancy and getting moved.”

“
Whoa
!” Nate says, putting his hands up. “Stop, why would you do that?”

“Because it’s too complicated and…I can’t deal with it.”

“Deal with what?” Ryder yells.

“I can’t deal with the fact that I
care
for you or t
he fact that I want you
so badly it
hurts.
I can’t deal with how close I am with Nate, and how all this is just becoming a big tangled mess.
It is too much and I just want to LEAVE.” I scream, I shove past them and rush to my room, slamming the door.

I am heaving, I can’t catch my breath. I fall to my knees and clench my fists. Why did I get put in such an awful situation? Why did I stop that night, why didn’t I just mind my
own business and keep
driving.
Then I would have never met Ryder or Nate, and things would be easy. The men leave me be for a while, which is very smart of them.

“Open up.” I hear Ryder yell through the door an hour later.

“No.”

“I will kick the fucking door down, now open it.”

I huff and shove the door open. Ryder steps in and closes it behind him.

“Well that was a quick fuck!” I snap.

“I sent her home.”

“What, why?”

“I said I am not in love with you, because love is something I don’t do. I care about you and so
does Nate. I want you in my bed, I want you and you kno
w that but you said…what you said and I was mad at you
.
I was mad because I thought we meant more to you.
”

“I said it because I was hurt that you said you didn’t care.”

“I do care alright, I do.”

“Then why did you have that girl over?”

“The same reason you said you didn’t want us, I was angry and hurt.”

“Were you going to sleep with her?”

“Probably not.”

“I thought…you want
ed
me.”

“You know I want you baby
, fuck how
many times do I have to say it?
I have gone slow, gone easy but you keep pulling away. I want you, and I am openly admitting it. I only went with those other women because you clearly stated you didn’t want me!
”
He yells frustrated.

“And if I let you sleep with me, you won’t sleep with other women while you are sleeping with me
?”

“No.” He says, folding his arms across his chest.

“I want to see what you like Ryder, but I am scared.
I had a bad experience and…”

“Look, what he did was cruel and heartless. Sex can be kinky and gentle, just take it how you want it. If you don’t like something say no, let yourself feel baby, let yourself like what your body want’s to like. It is really not so bad.”

“I…believe you and I want it, I really want it. I am scared n
ot just because I might like it, but for the uproar it would cause if people found out.”

“Fuck the uproar, do you think gay people don’t get
an uproar
, of course they do but they do it because they don’t give a shit. If it is going to bother you, say no, if it is that big of a deal then just say fucking no!”

I stare at him. “I want it Ryder, I want you.”

His blue gaze meets mine and
he
steps forward.
“You sure?”

“I want you. I
don’t know about the rest, but I want you
.”

“
God
, you don’t know how long I have wanted to hear that.”

I step forward and touch his chest. “Tell me what I need to do.”

“We need a safe
word,
it is a word you use if things get
too
much. If anything becomes too much for you to handle, you say it and I stop.”

“Ok…”

“What will it be?”

“GI.”

He grins and shakes his head.

“Alright, second, I won’t hurt you Maya. I will spank you and tie you, but I won’t ever hurt you.”

“I like when you call me by my real name.” I whisper.

“Maya.”
He murmurs into my ear and I shudder.

“
Ryder?”

“Hmmmm?”

“There won’t be other women, will there, in the same bed?”

“No.”

“And it won’t bother you that you can’t…have threesomes.”

“Look that is something I did occasionally, but I don’t
necessarily
want
or
need it.”

“So this between us, what is it?”

“
It’s
sex baby.”

“That’s it?”

“For now, it is all I can give. I want you,
God
knows
I do. You are mine Maya, and I will give you pleasure until you can’t take anymore but…we can’t do much more.”

“What not even a movie?”

He laughs hoarsely. “I can probably do that.”

I grin. “That’s ok Ryder, I am not looking for more either.”

“You sure about that
?
”

“
Yeah,
” I lie. “
You are…adventurous a
nd I only worry I won’t be enough
.”

“Let’s find out shall we?”

“O-ok.”

“In the room, I am the dominant. I won’t be cruel to you, but I do expect you to do what I ask. When we are outside the room, I am just Ryder. Understood?”

“Yes.” I breathe.

“Good, take off your clothes.”

“You don’t want to do that?”

He grins. “No.”

I slide off my shirt with trembling fingers and drop it onto the floor,
then
I shuffle out of
my pants.
Ryder’s
gaze stays fixed on me as I shuffle down my panties.

“Jesus.” He hisses.

I smile and straighten, so I am fully naked before him.

“Fuck me dead.”

“I plan to.” I purr.

He grins and tears his shirt off, tossing it on the floor. I swallow and gaze at his
stunning
body. He steps forward and pulls something from his pockets. I glance down at the small clamps in his hands.

“What are those?”

“Nipple clamps.”

“
Whoa
, what?
Why have
you got clamps in your pockets?
”

“
I put them in earlier when I was planning on doing this with you but…whatever, it’s done.
I am going to clamp them
on your nipples, trust me
baby
?
”