Without You (26 page)

I glanced at Grace before I turned on the car and pulled out onto the street. “It doesn’t matter. He hasn’t returned a single text or call. Clearly, he wants nothing to do with me right now. Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe we both just need time to think.”

Grace let out a gruff laugh. “Okay, sure. You without Will though…is going to be pure hell for both of us.”

Grace put her headphones on, and she didn’t utter a word to me the whole drive back to Austin. I glanced down at my phone and tried to decide if I should send Will one more text.

Two hours later, I sat on my bed, staring at my phone. I jumped when it pinged.

Daddy: How are you, darling?

Me: Good.

Daddy: Have you talked to Will yet?

Me: No. Maybe you were right. I think I need to spend some time learning who I am.

Daddy: Alex, you need to listen to your heart, not my words.

Me: I know. It’s just…I went to A&M, Daddy. Will was with a girl.

Daddy: Situations like that can be deceiving, Alexandra. You should know this better than anyone.

Me: I know. Grace said the same thing. I just need some time to think.

Daddy: I love you, baby girl. Call us this week, okay?

Me: I will. I love you, too, Daddy. Bye.

I decided to change and go for a run. I slipped on my sneakers and turned on my music. I was feeling so homesick after going home for Thanksgiving and not having Will to talk to. Plus, Grace was clearly pissed off at me for leaving and not talking to Will. I felt like I was totally alone. I pulled up a picture of Banjo and made it my screensaver.

Maybe a good run in the cold air will help clear my head.

I sat on the window seat and stared out the window while Grace went on and on about going home for Christmas.

Every now and then, I’d throw in an, “Oh, I know,” or, “I’m so excited, too,” and, “I can’t wait to see everyone.”

Grace put her hand on my shoulder. “Have you talked to Libby?”

I nodded my head and felt the tears burning in my eyes. “She said Will won’t let her even mention my name. If she tries to talk about me, he just gets up and leaves.”

Grace let out a sigh. “Yeah, Luke said the same thing. He also told me that he didn’t think Will was dating anyone, Alex. He said he goes to class, comes back to the room, and pretty much just studies and runs. I told Luke you’ve taken up running, too.”

I peeked over to Grace and tried to smile. “He’s running?”

She smiled and nodded her head. “Luke said Will runs twice a day—every morning and every night.”

My smile faded a bit. “What if he’s going to see someone and just doesn’t want Luke to know?”

Grace’s smile turned to a frown. “Well, the only damn way to find out is if the two of you would stop being so damn stubborn and call one another. This is insane! You can’t avoid each other over break. You’re going to see each other.”

I looked back out the window. I didn’t want to admit to Grace how excited I was to be going home. I knew the moment I saw Will, I’d probably break down, but I also knew being home in neutral territory would be what we needed to work things out. I just prayed that what I had seen with that girl wasn’t what I thought it was.

“Come on, Alex. Get packed, so we can get out of here tomorrow. I’m ready to get home to my damn horse!”

I giggled as I stood up and walked over to my closet. “I’m glad I’m not the only one excited to see my horse.”

We both laughed and started making plans to go riding the moment we got home.

“What in the hell do you mean you’re not going home?” Luke pushed my truck door shut.

I let out the breath I had been holding. “Just that, Luke. I’m not going home.”

He stood there and stared at me like I was crazy. “What about your parents, Will? You haven’t seen your mom or dad since August. Why are you doing this to them? It’s Christmas, Will.”

I looked down at the ground. I couldn’t find my voice to talk. I missed my parents so damn much.

“Fuck, Will. From what Grace has told me, Alex is a walking ghost. She’s devastated.”

I shook my head. “She stopped calling. She doesn’t even text anymore.”

“Do you? Do you call or text her? Grace said they came here to A&M.”

I snapped my head up and looked at Luke. “What? When?”

He ran his hand through his hair. “Right after Thanksgiving. Grace said Alex wanted to talk to you in person. I guess when they walked up, you were hugging some girl, and y’all kissed. That’s what Grace told me.”

I gave Luke a funny look. “What?”

He shrugged and leaned against my truck. “Dude, it was that day you went out and got hammered. You came back, and I didn’t want to say anything, but you smelled like you had been all over some girl. The perfume was strong.”

I shook my head, trying to think back to that day. I had drunk a lot at the party Joe took me to, but I didn’t think I had been drunk. I tried to remember what had happened.

“Shit. I don’t even remember that whole night. I was at the party, and some girl kept flirting with me, but I know I didn’t hook up with anyone. I remember talking to Joe and walking back here with him. I think Callie might have been with us. Yeah, she was.”

“Did you hug her?”

I pushed my hands through my hair. “Fuck, I don’t know. Why in the hell would I hug Callie?”

Luke pushed off my truck and turned to face me. “Dude, just come home and talk to Alex.”

I swallowed hard. “I can’t see her right now. I know the moment I see her, I’ll just want to take her in my arms, but I can’t erase what my eyes saw and what my ears heard that day.”

Luke closed his eyes. “Let her explain it, Will. Just give her a chance. She’s not even seeing the guy. She hasn’t seen him since she told him she loved you and asked him to leave her alone. Grace said he pretty much stalked Alex for a bit before finally leaving her be.”

I smiled and shook my head. “Gunner wanted her to experience life away from Mason. Maybe this is what we both need. Maybe we need a break from the familiar. If our love is truly meant to be, then…it will be.”

“Can’t be if you won’t let it.”

I didn’t say a word. Luke turned and walked toward his truck. Libby walked up, and Luke said something to her. She looked at me with such sadness on her face as she began walking over to me.

“Where are you going?”

I looked at my beautiful sister and smiled. “Oklahoma.”

“You’re really going to go there and not be home with your family? Mom is going to be devastated. Alex is going to be devastated.”

“I need to do this. I’m sorry, Lib. I need time to think.”

“’Cause you haven’t had enough time in the last month?”

I stepped away from my truck. I leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. “I love you, Lib. Give Mom and Dad a hug and kiss for me.”

“What about Alex? What am I supposed to tell her?”

“Tell her I love her.”

I walked over to the driver’s side, opened the door, and climbed up into my truck. I started it and began backing up. I looked at Luke standing behind Libby as they both watched me drive away.

I need this. I need time away from everyone. I need to learn to breathe again.

I sat down on the bed of my truck and began eating my turkey sandwich. I couldn’t help but notice Allison, Callie’s cousin, walking over to me. I sighed inwardly and wished like hell that she would get the hint that I wasn’t interested in her.

“Hey, Will. How are you today?”

I shrugged my shoulders and took another bite. I looked her up and down. I couldn’t figure out how in the hell she was wearing short-ass shorts and a tight T-shirt when it was forty-two degrees outside.

“Aren’t you cold?” I asked.

She giggled and jumped up next to me. “A little, but you could warm me up.”

“I have a girlfriend, Allison.”

She frowned. “You do?”

My heart instantly began to hurt. I shook my head and looked at her. “I, um…well, we broke up…I guess.”

She laughed. “You either broke up, or you didn’t. If you did, then I have a hotel room key here for you. I’m pretty sure you want to know that I’m not wearing any panties right now, and my pussy is dripping wet for you.”

My mouth dropped open. “Uh…”

She began moving her tongue along her upper lip as she raised her eyebrows. “Will, tell me you don’t want to fuck me, and I’ll walk away, but I’m pretty sure if I were to touch your dick right now, you’d be rock-hard.”

What the hell?

I couldn’t help it, but I started laughing. “You’re kidding with me right now, right?”

She smiled and shook her head.

“What type of guy would actually go back to your hotel room after you just said all of that?”

Her smile instantly faded. “Excuse me?”

I jumped off the tailgate of my truck. “No, Allison. Excuse me. I need to be somewhere, and it certainly is
not
in your hotel room.”

She jumped down and glared at me. “Fuck off, douche bag. You have no idea what you’re missing.”

I watched as she began walking over to a group of guys who had driven in this morning from Arkansas.

Good Lord, I feel sorry for those boys.

I looked around for Callie or Joe. I found Joe talking to an older gentleman. I took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. The sooner I did this, the better.