Without Rhythm (The Lament)

"I'm so sorry... Your leg..." Tears ran down Pran's face as she said the words, meaning them, but also feeling horrible about a lot of other things too. It was selfish to consider herself at the same time, but it happened anyway. Her right hand moved out as if to touch her friend's injured limb. It was badly broken and the bandages were professional, crisp and new, but it didn't have a splint on it yet. There hadn't been time for the swelling to go down that much. If they bound it too soon the circulation could be cut off and that could cost him his leg.

"I'll heal. What are they going to do to us do you think?" Bard Sollen gave her a scared look, his young features tight. That part of things had saved him, when the schools council had met with her earlier. He was
young
. Only fourteen.

As the oldest person involved in the prank it was her part to take the fall. This one was a bit worse than most of the other times though. A whole lot. It still hadn't really sunk in yet just how much so. She'd been kicked out. In fact, if she didn't get her stuff and get out, right then, the Guardians would be called and she'd be facing a Judge in the morning. There was one in town at the moment even, so the threat wasn't just an empty thing to scare her. That thought terrified her. Judges were known to be hard on people that made mistakes.

Especially if those people had an idea that they were doing so when it happened.

Pran had known. It was a horrible idea she'd had, stealing the statue and replacing it with one that she'd carved herself. It was only a temporary thing, meant as an end of term joke, a thing for everyone to remember for years, before she went off on her apprenticeship. But due to an error in how the ropes were rigged both statues slipped, the one of the first councilman
and
her lovely horse with its rippling muscles and flowing mane. It was the school mascot after all, so wasn't a big insult to put up. Even the panel had said so as they kicked her out. It wasn't about some imagined slight, but the harm done by her miscalculation.

The day before she was supposed to graduate.

The idea was horrifying. She really couldn't believe it. Seven years of schooling, and they were going to refuse her credentials. Forever. It wasn't like she was being allowed to switch schools even, or do the year over. They'd said that she was too old to have gotten another student hurt and felt that they didn't have any other choice.

She sighed lying so the kid in front of her wouldn't worry.

"Oh, you know, some minor fall out. You'll have a few detentions and the others will have to clean some toilets before the school is satisfied. I have to pay for a new statue of Michael Morse, or make one that's as good as what we had. I'm thinking of doing that, when I get a chance. It sounds cheaper. Plus it wasn't a great statue, so I can easily do better." She forced her voice to be chipper. It wasn't like she hadn't had acting lessons after all. She was a Bard, or used to be.

Now she was just Pran. Not Bard Pran, not even Pran Grange, just... her. Alone in the world without a clue how to make it. She didn't even have pocket money, since she was a student, there on the ruling council's say so. They took care of the kids' needs, while they were at school, but it meant that she was leaving with nothing. Not even the small statues she made really belonged to her, since the materials had all been given to her. Her instruments as well. The idea hit hard. She had nothing. Not even clothes.

Out of "kindness" the schools council had left her what she was wearing, a plain gray canvas student's uniform. She couldn't even go to her room for anything. She'd had to see to Sollen so had risked arrest to do it. He'd trusted her to get it all right and the piece of statuary that had hit him was her fault. She'd misjudged the slope of the roof and the weight of the statues by too much, her horse being heavier by about half. The crash had been horrific, but the screaming was worse. She could still hear it, even as he started speaking.

"Oh? Well, I'll help you with it. We all will. Of course you'll be off doing rounds and making a name for yourself, so I guess
I'll
be stuck doing it all? My carving isn't half of what you could do." His grin was infectious, even as scared as she was at the moment.

"Are they letting you dodge out on detention too then? Hardly fair. Well, nothing to be done about it, you are one of the top students, I guess they kind of have to play favorites, don't they? They'd be insane not to."

The form in the door was that of the Headmaster, who had two strong looking dance instructors with him, from the boys' section, probably to throw her out if she didn't go on her own. Like she was going to fight about it? That wouldn't help her at all and would just be embarrassing.

"Looks like my signal to get out of here and leave you to heal up. I'll take you up on that offer to do the statue though, I don't know when I'll get a chance to settle down anywhere." She smiled again and touched his arm gently.

"Heal fast. Don't miss any school, even if they tell you that you need rest. They won't wait for you, no matter what they claim." It was the rule. All the students worth their upkeep went to class each day and worked at projects all evening. If you didn't there was a good chance that you'd be dropped from the program. Getting hurt would actually let Sollen have some slack, but it wasn't much, and falling behind could mean not making it at all.

Spending all that time in school to become a full Bard and then not being allowed it... She shook her head. Behind her the Headmaster cleared his throat. It sounded disapproving to her, but she didn't care. There was no undoing what had happened, and, as far as she could tell, her life was over. She didn't need to be kicked out
and
beaten in the same day so Pran decided to just leave, pushing past the man a little roughly as she did.

It was grumpy of her, but screw it, she was angry and scared. What did he expect? They were tossing her out to starve or worse and knew they were doing it. They had to.

"B... Pran... I argued against your dismissal you know. It was a mistake and a bad one, but this... I don't think they really understand what they're doing. We'll fix it somehow..." The man wore his teal green robes well, lean and good looking, even with his gray hair and soft job. He kept up with his skills after all, and worked at least as hard at his job as the kids did learning their trade. Maybe harder.

"I know. It isn't their lives that they destroyed. But what am I supposed to do about it? Those with power always abuse it without thinking, and leave you alone in the world. That's how things go, isn't it?" She walked then, not wanting Sollen to hear her if she started bawling like a little kid. It was tempting after all, even if it wouldn't help fix things.

"I have
nothing
. It's not like I can just run back to my family. The orphanage doesn't take kids back you know. Not at my age. I feel horrible about Sollen's leg, but this is a death sentence. Or at least one that will lead to extreme hardship. Without an apprenticeship I can't work for the High Council and without that... There's no point in my having gone to school here at all, is there? I can't call myself a Bard legally and without that I can't even get a job in a reputable tavern. Not unless I want to sling drinks, which, by the way, I don't know how to do. You really should have put that in as one of the classes, shouldn't you?" Her anger was rising, a self-defense mechanism she'd learned as a child. A lot of things in life weren't fair, but when the bullies tried to take your food, you ended up with more to eat if you fought hard, every time, than if you tried to appease them. True you'd be beaten each time too, but in the end it was worth it.

That didn't mean anything in this situation. Nothing at all, because the school council was too far above her in power. She was done and had to work things out for herself. There was just nothing she could do to stop it.

"Pran..." The man sounded kind and a bit concerned, but didn't try to touch her, which was a good thing.

Not that she'd have hurt him, but it probably would have made her lose it and start crying. Instead he let her go then, walking away fast, not following after the first few steps.

It was her fault and her punishment, but damned if it didn't hurt to leave anyway.

She couldn't have just gone away the next day, gotten her assignment and acted like a regular person? No, of course not. She was all mighty Pran, the wonder Bard. She'd
had
to do something to make everyone remember her. Well, they probably would now, wouldn't they? Maybe they'd throw her crumbs when they saw her begging on the street? She kind of hoped so, because the meeting had taken all day and it was starting to get dark out. A night outside, without any food that day was going to be less than fun. The ones to follow that would be even worse. She needed a plan and fast, or she'd just die. What could someone like her reasonably do though?

Walking in a daze, Pran wondered if anyone on the street would be willing to take her in. Maybe if she found some old guy she could let him have sex with her for room and board, while she figured out what to do? It wouldn't be fun, since she'd never done that kind of thing, but her options were pretty limited. It was pretty much do something like that... whore herself outright, or find someone that was willing to marry her fast. That last one wasn't very likely either. She didn't know anything about homemaking and didn't really want to have children. Even if she did, that wasn't a thing she knew about either. Being a parent? She'd never even seen it being done.

The facts were hard, but she knew that her best bet was probably to try getting some money having sex with men on the street. If she could get enough, fast, she could leave town and start over someplace else. Maybe...

That was the thing though, there
wasn't
anything else. Not for someone her age. She'd had her chance in life and it was all gone now, because she'd had to be special.

Well, now she'd get to be special servicing some guy in an alley. Only if she was lucky though. The town outside the school was small and they didn't have regular street walkers that she knew of. Maybe if she went to the local tavern and waited outside? If it was done some other way, she didn't know about it at all. Then, why would she? Her life had been inside the walls of the Grange with only brief trips outside to work in the gardens until she was nine, and after that she'd worked at being the best student she could. There hadn't been time for anything else. If she had skills that would let her survive out in the world, she didn't know what they were, which was nearly the same as not having them at all.