Without Chase (12 page)

Chapter Nineteen

Jamie

Jamie was still running on the beach when her phone rang. The international number that flashed was unfamiliar to her, but given the tendency of her model-friends to lose their phones, she just assumed that one of them was calling on a phone borrowed from some hapless guy they had stopped on the street. After debating whether to answer it or keep jogging, she decided to answer in case a friend was stuck at some airport.

“Hello?” she answered, trying to catch her breath.

“Jamie.”

That voice. So familiar, saying her name as if he were whispering it in her ear.

“Chase?” A bundle of thoughts came tumbling out at the same time, none of it making sense, and she could say nothing more.

“Yeah. How are you?”

How could she even begin to answer that? She had spent months crafting what she would say to him the next time she saw him again, but now she didn’t even have the words to answer a simple question. “Umm, well, I’ve been great, Chase. How about you? Is everything OK?”

He responded to the edge in her voice. “Jamie---I’m sorry if this is coming from nowhere, but I just wanted to explain to you what happened, OK?” He rushed on as if knowing she was about to cut him off. “Can you talk right now?”

Jamie sat down heavily in the sand. “You want to tell me what happened--now? Where were you a year ago?”

There was such a long pause that she wondered if he was still on the line. Then: “I didn’t mean to leave you like that; I really didn’t.” Jamie heard his voice break. “But I had to. I don’t want to go into too much detail now, but it wasn’t just the League that was investigating me; the Feds got involved too. And I I didn’t want them to question you, or Luke, or anyone who knew me. So I just cut everyone off because that was the only way I knew to protect everyone---”

Jamie watched as a seagull flew overhead and thought, if I focus on this bird I will not get drawn into this. I will not open the door to let Chase hurt me again. And again.

“Jamie? Say something.”

She took a deep breath. “But everything’s OK now?”

“Yeah---you don’t have to worry about talking to me.”

“I’m not worried about myself Chase.” Despite herself, Jamie felt a wave of relief for him.

“Oh.” That she was worried about him made him happy and it came through in his voice. “Yeah, they closed the case against me for lack of evidence. So, everything’s good.” Then, as if saying it to himself, he added, “It’s all over.”

Jamie traced his name on the sand with her finger. This was not the time to tell him how much he had hurt her. It was also not the time to tell him that the thought that he chose to face this battle on his own---when she would have gone through anything for him---filled her with an unbelievable sadness, and that sadness was turning into anger at him. When the going got rough, it turned out he trusted only himself after all.

“Well. That’s great. Congratulations.” Jamie wanted to get off the phone before she said something she would regret.

“I’m really sorry, you know?”

“I’m glad everything’s good for you now.” She bit her lip to stop from saying anything else. He was apologizing as if he had been five minutes late to meet her, and she realized: he thinks he did the right thing, and that all I needed to hear was he was doing this for me. It was too soon to talk about this, so she said instead, “So you’re playing in Spain now? How is it?”

“Aww man, it’s great! I really like it here.” There was no mistaking the sincerity behind his words. He sounded happy. He sounded like a man who had found his place.

“Are you going to stay there?” she snapped.

Chase laughed, so happy to talk about his new home that he mistook her sarcasm for playfulness. “Yeah, I’m going to finish out the season here for sure. My agent Steve is re-negotiating my contract with the Waves, though. They’re saying I was suspended, not cut from the team and they don’t want to release me from my contract. It’s cheaper for them than having to renegotiate my contract.” His voice sounded relaxed now and his talk about agents and contracts made it seem as if she had been in his life all along. “How about you, Jamie? What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing much---except, I’m going back to school.”

“Cool!” he said enthusiastically. “You’re going back to North Carolina?”

Apparently it wouldn’t matter to him if she did. “No, I’m going to stay in L.A.”

“Hey, that’s great, Jamie.”

“Thanks.” Jamie stood up and began beating the sand off her shorts. She had had enough, and she was afraid the next question would be about who she was seeing. Not that she wouldn’t love to talk about Adam. But she might have to hear about his new relationship in return and that would be more than she could bear. “Well, I better get going now.” she said coldly. “I’m glad everything worked out, and thanks for letting me know.”

“Yeah, sure. Take care, and say hi to your brother for me.” Chase sounded a little hurt that she was ending the conversation, but she didn’t care.

“Bye, Chase.”

Jamie hung up and fought the urge to throw her phone in the ocean. She wished she had the stamina to run another five miles. Any distraction to keep from feeling that she was just another loose end Chase had to tie up before moving on with his new life.

Chapter Twenty

Chase

As he hung up from his phone call with Jamie, Chase felt confused. It definitely didn’t turn out the way he expected. Maybe he was hoping for too much, but he thought Jamie would be happier hearing that he didn’t leave her because he wanted to, but because he had to. Instead, she seemed… annoyed that he called. When did he turn into someone from her past that she was embarrassed by? She was going back to school, she had Mr. Perfect as her soon-to-be-fiancé. Maybe she didn’t want to be reminded of the fact that she used to go out with someone like him: another scandal plagued professional athlete who would be broke in five years.

The next day he told Shelby the same thing and watched as her eyes grew wide with shock. “Is that how you see yourself, Chase?” she asked, slightly shocked.

“It’s the truth, isn’t it?” he said defensively.

Shelby looked at him as if he were a stranger. “I can’t stand to hear you talk like this,” she told him. “You’re like our little brother now, and if someone ever said that about you in my presence, I’d slap them,” she said passionately. “But---
you’re
the one saying that about yourself, and it’s just so---wrong!”

“So why wasn’t she happy to hear from me?” Chase was beginning to regret even making contact with Jamie.

“Oh Chase, I don’t know!” Shelby said soothingly. “Maybe someone was with her, maybe she was afraid of saying the wrong thing.” She paused. “Or maybe you can’t just drop into her life again without any kind of warning and expect her to not be overwhelmed.”

Liam ran into the room then, and the two of them fell silent. Chase remembered that the Betancourt’s were about to leave Spain to go back to New York. Now he really felt like shit. He was about to lose his friends, too. But the one thing that could make him forget about his troubles was standing next to him. He picked up Liam and looked at Shelby. “If Liam is up for it, can I take him out for some gelato?”

Shelby’s eyes darted to the clock. It was five o’clock and almost dinnertime for him. “It’s a little late for a snack,” she said hesitantly. “He’ll ruin his appetite…”

“Please Mommy?” Liam looked at her with the dark lashed, green eyed glance of his father.

“Yeah. Please, mommy?” Chase pressed his cheek against Liam and copied his innocent, pleading look. “We need some bro time.”

Still cheek-to-cheek, Liam echoed solemnly, “need bro time,” then added, “no mommies.”

Shelby tried to make a stern face, but failed and burst out laughing instead. “OK, fine, but if he gets a stomach ache tonight, I’m dropping him off at your place, Chase---”.

There was no use finishing her sentence. The two boys had already bounced out of the room.

Chapter Twenty-One

Jamie

Jamie did her best to put the conversation out of her mind, but when her brother came home, he noticed how upset she was.

“OK, what happened?” Luke called from his room.

“Nothing!” Jamie tried to sound cheerful as she answered from the kitchen. “I’m a little distracted. I forgot it was my turn to cook tonight.”

Luke wasn’t buying it. “Come on, something happened.”

“Chase says hello, that’s what happened.” Jamie slammed the pan on the stove.

Luke came out of his room and walked into the kitchen. He had changed out of his suit and into a tee shirt and shorts. “Really? He’s back?” His eyes then fell on the huge pile of chopped vegetables on the wooden block. “Are we having people over for dinner?” he asked, puzzled.

Jamie followed his glance. “Oh. No, it just gave me something to do.”

Luke raised his eyebrows and began munching on a carrot slice. “So what happened with Chase?” Before she could answer, he waved the carrot at her and said, “see I told you he’d be back. You guys can never stay away from each other.”

Jamie made a face. “He’s moved on Luke, trust me.”

He sat down in front of her. “OK, so what did he say?”

“He said, the reason he took off like that was because he was trying to protect me from being questioned by the Feds. Which doesn’t even make sense.”

Luke pondered this, then nodded slowly. “Of course it does,” he said, his face showing that he had put the pieces in place. “It’s a pretty serious thing to be interviewed by the Federal government, Jamie. If you make even so much as a careless mistake---like, if you told them the last time you talked to Chase was on Monday, but they pull up your records and the call was made two minutes past midnight, which meant you actually talked to him on Tuesday, then all of a sudden you could be facing a charge of lying to investigators.”

She made a pfft sound. “Come on. I mean, how do you know that?”

“How? Because I work in finance, and that’s one thing that was drilled to us every day during our training. Do not guess, do not speculate, do not do anything except be one-hundred percent accurate when talking to ANYone from the Federal government. They’re no joke, Jamie, and I’m sure Chase was told that too.”

If her brother, who was so indifferent to cops that he didn’t even slow down when a patrol car was behind them, felt this way, then she knew it was serious.

“But I didn’t do anything wrong.” she protested. “I mean, neither did Chase so what was he trying to protect me from?”

“It’s not what you do, Jamie, it’s what you’re accused of.” They both fell silent. Sure that he had gotten his point across, Luke looked around expectantly. “So can I help you with dinner?”

Jamie took the hint and got off the kitchen stool to begin cooking. As the butter melted in the sauté pan, and she still hadn’t said anything, Luke looked up from checking messages on his phone. “I’m not really getting why you’re so mad at him, Jamie. I mean, it’s not like he left you broke with two kids to run off with a stripper.”

She rolled her eyes at the exaggerated scenario. “What makes you think I’m mad at him?”

Luke pushed his chair back as if a wind were pushing him. “Oh, I don’t know. The anger bouncing off you maybe.”

Jamie considered this. Then she said quietly, “OK, he had to go. But why didn’t he trust me enough to tell me? Why couldn’t we have gone through this together?”

Luke shook his head. “You’ve got this romantic idea that you guys were going to be like what, Bonnie and Clyde? God, grow up, will you?” Seeing his sister’s expression, Luke softened his tone. “He didn’t do it because that would have been a selfish thing to do. He didn’t know what was going to happen and he wasn’t going to take anyone else down with him. I think you should be grateful that he loved you enough to do that.
I’m
grateful he protected you.”

Jamie said nothing as she considered Luke’s words. Luke changed the subject and they didn’t talk about it until they were cleaning up after dinner. “So what are you going to do about Adam?” he asked.

“Nothing. I’m not going to break up with Adam just because Chase snapped his fingers.”

“Well, I guess that’s good. I mean, I like Chase, but Adam’s a nice guy and he’d be bummed.” He handed her a plate. “I guess a year is a long time to wait for someone.”

Jamie pushed the dishwasher door closed with her foot. “It’s not really about Adam, though. We’re good together. For now. But it’s kind of complicated,” she ended helplessly. “Anyway, I know you don’t think I should be mad at Chase, but I am. He may have had a good reason to run away, but he sure got over me pretty quick.”

Luke snorted. “Because he hooked up with Amy Weatherby? What guy wouldn’t? He knew he couldn’t be with you, so---”

“No, not Amy Weatherby.” Jamie told him about watching Chase play in Spain. At first, Luke thought she was exaggerating, but when Jamie told him that Jenna was there and agreed with her, he finally believed her. “OK, well Jenna is probably the most objective of all your friends, so if she really said that---”

“She really did, Luke.”

They wandered into what the previous owners of the house probably called the family room, but was now best described as Luke’s man-cave. The latest, biggest and best TV available dominated one wall and below it, an arsenal of flashy gaming equipment. Two oversized couches, comfy chairs, and a wall full of sports memorabilia, including kitschy team pictures from just about every childhood team the siblings played on added to the homey but hi-tech vibe.

Jamie didn’t mind. The room was a magnet for spontaneous and planned get-togethers with their friends and made their home a nice place to be. But she was glad that tonight was one of the rare nights when she was in town, Luke didn’t have a date, and no one had come over to hang out.

He clicked on the TV while Jamie sat with her laptop and began working on her college application essay. Luke glanced over at the screen and shook his head. “It sucks having to apply to school a second time, doesn’t it?” he asked. But his approving tone told her that he was proud of her for doing it.

Luke found the channel he was looking for, and the room was soon filled with the all-too familiar sound of sneakers on hardwood, fans cheering and a ball bouncing. “Are you going to tell Adam you talked to Chase?” Luke picked up their conversation.

“Maybe. I’m kind of sick of all of this, you know?” Jamie asked. Luke shook his head no. “I’m sick of dealing with people’s sh--crap all the time. Like, I don’t have any baggage, but whether it’s Chase, or Adam, or even Sean Foley, guys always come with problems.”

Luke snorted. “Did I just hear you say you didn’t have any baggage? What, you think Adam is thrilled that you’ve got an ex-boyfriend you’re still in love with? Or that Chase is cool with you being a bitch to him when he called? Gimme a break.”

“I wasn’t a bitch to him,” she pouted.

Luke twisted his beer bottle open and took a sip. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure you were. I know how mad you are at him.”

Jamie started to defend herself, then realized she couldn’t. The best she could do was ask Luke, “so it’s OK for him to just leave me for a year? Without saying anything? Just as long as he comes back and apologizes afterwards?”

“Do you think he left you because he wanted to, or because he had to?” her brother answered. Without giving her a chance to answer, he continued. “Don’t make this about you, OK? The poor guy pretty much had his life destroyed.”

Jamie slammed her laptop shut and angrily wiped the tears from her face. “He’s with someone else now, so why is he even calling me?” she said, her voice rising. “I don’t want to fucking hear about how great Spain is!”

Her brother nodded knowingly. That’s what this is really all about, his expression said. “Guys are weird, Jamie. But I would take it as a compliment. He knows you still want him to be happy.”