Without care (5 page)

I closed my
eyes as I rested my head back on to the seat and listened to the
music once again. This time the voice was singing about crawling. I
didn't understand what the words meant, but at least the voice was
making me forget.

After a little
while the truck comes to a halt, I look out the window to see a
little run down house. A few windows are boarded up, a little porch
with a swing and the paint looks like it is falling off.

“It’s not much,
but its home” he shrugs and climbs out of the truck. Before I
realize the passenger door is open, and his hand is reaching out
towards me. “Come,” when I refuse to take his hand, he gives a
throaty laugh. His hands reach around my waist and he lifts me out
of the truck.

“Do you think
you can walk?” He asks as soon as my feet hit solid ground, I just
nod. “Are you going to talk at all?” Out of habit I nod again.
“Good.” He turns round and heads towards the house with me
following behind.

We enter the
house, and he begins to switch lights on. The inside matches the
outside, a shabby sofa is on one side of the room, an old fashion
TV set is on the other, and a card table with two chairs is placed
against the wall. The wall paper is beige and peeling off the wall.
It hardly screams home to me, and I feel sorry for him.

“Take a seat”
he points to the sofa. “I'll go find you something to wear.”

He disappears
into the darkness, and I remain standing, my eyes swooping across
the room again. I can't hear voices of anyone else, which is
strange. Surely his parents should be home or another relative.

I can only see
his school bag dumped next to the table. There are no pictures or
anything that suggests a family lives here. Is he alone? My heart
breaks for him. Surely there is no way someone would allow their 17
year old to fend for themselves?

“Hey” his voice
fills the room. “I have a few things which are all going to be too
big, but at least you'll be warm.” He hands me a pile of clothes.
“Bathroom is just in here” he opens a door to his left. I once
again nod and take the short steps to the bathroom.

“I'll make you
a hot drink” his dark eyes meet mine. “Then you will tell me what
happened. I'm your friend, Jen. You can trust me.”

I don't reply
and enter the bathroom. His words actually bring a smile to my
face, he is my friend now? I thought he had a problem with me and
me being nice to him. Now I've seen his home, I can understand why
he wouldn't want to get close to someone.

I quickly get
out of my wet clothes and change into the sweats and t-shirt he has
kindly lent me. The sweats have to be rolled up as they are too
long and the t-shirt almost hits my knees. I step out of the
bathroom and he is sat on the sofa drinking from a cup. I am
suddenly overcome with anxiety again. He wants me to admit what a
stupid thing I did back at the party.

I sit down on
the opposite side of the sofa, my fingers locked together in my lap
and my lip gripped in between my teeth.

Trust that was
the word he used. I have this strange feeling that I can
absolutely, hand over heart, trust him. Tonight he has shown me a
kinder side, and I wonder how many other people have seen him like
this.

Out of the
corner of my eye, I take a sneak peek at his angular profile. His
dark hair, when in the light, has a red tint. His expression is
soft and friendly. Still, I know nothing about him. Why is he here?
Why alone? And why did he come to my need? Was it a coincidence or
was it intentional?

“What
happened?” His tone is flat.

I cough and for
the first time in a while I find my voice. “I did something
stupid!”

His whole body
turns to me and he gives a little smile. “What did you do?”

I turn my head
away from him, I can't look him in the eye as I confess, and it’s
too embarrassing.

He will laugh,
that I'm certain about. God, if it was anyone but me, I would laugh
too. Then Monday hits me, what will happen at school? Does anyone
else know? I place my head in my hands and let out a weak cry.

“Hey,” his hand
is on my shoulder. I like it when he touches me, the pain almost
disappears for a second. “You can tell me.”

I remove my
hands and sit up straight. “I tried to kiss Chase Walker!”

He waits a
second before he replies. “Tried? Exactly how does that work?”

I look at him
and roll my eyes. He is seriously going to drag this out. “As in I
leaned in, eyes closed and he did nothing.” I let out a sigh and
shiver in remembrance.

“Is that all?”
he laughs. “The way you were acting I thought someone had died.

“It did, my
pride”

“Or your
ego”

“Excuse
me?”

“I get it, poor
old Jen never gets rejected...”

My jaw drops in
shock. I knew his kindness wouldn't last long. How dare he see me
in that way, he knows nothing about me? He just stares at me
without blinking. I’m going to have to tell him my secret, just to
clear my name. I don't like him thinking of me like that. Once
again Jennifer Hopkins is eager to please.

“Just to let
you know, I've never kissed a man” I hiss, my eyes moving away from
him.

“What? Never!”
I can hear the shock in his voice, but I don't dare look at him
again. I shake my head, I have lost my voice. “Oh,” he swallows
loudly. “Well, I guess I should be saying sorry.”

“Mmm” I shrug,
its getting a big of habit him saying sorry. I look around the
living room again and decide its time to get this conversation away
from me. “Are your parents working?” It’s the first thing I can
think of asking. I can see him flinch a little and his mouth twists
to one side.

“I have no
idea” he laughs. This catches my attention. I spin my body round to
face him. His hands grip the cup, and he is staring into it.

I tuck my feet
under me and get comfy as I want him to open up to me and I won't
let this rest. “What do you mean?”

“I don't know
what they’re up to?”

“You mean you
live alone?”

“Yes.”

I take a longer
look at his profile, and I have this weird sense he maybe older
than me. He's frowning. The lines around his eyes and forehead are
deep.” How old are you?” The words just leave my lips.

“Eighteen” he
confidently replies. He looks over at me and smiles, a big hearty
smile that sends my pulse racing. “You think it’s strange for
someone to live alone?” He raises an eyebrow and turns to face me.
“We can't all have a happy home like you.”

“I don't have a
happy home” I snap back. “I only live with my mother and baby
sister. We came to Summerton seven months ago.”

His smugness
drifts away and now I smile. “I didn't know.”

“No, of course
you didn't. You just keep assuming you know things about me.”

He takes in a
shape inhale of breath. “I know, I know” he sighs. “I am really
sorry I keep doing that.”

“And sorry you
keep having to say sorry?” I joke.

“Yes” he says
firmly. For half a minute our eyes lock, and not one of us turns
away. I am suddenly overcome with affection for him. He lives
alone, doesn't seem to get on with people and has looked after me
during my little drama.

He jumps to his
feet, almost spilling his coffee. What did he manage to read my
mind? He now looks flushed as he debates to weather put the cup
down or take it with him. This puts me on an edge, I am pretty sure
I didn't say my thoughts out loud. He decides to put the cup down
and walks over to the card table and sits down in a chair.

That's not
good. Why he putting distance between us? Just when I think I have
him figured out, he does a whole 360 degree turn on me. I decide to
get back to the conversation we were having before he had to say
sorry again!

“How come you
live alone?”

“My grandmother
died and left this house” he looks around the room. “My parents
didn't want it and I didn't want to live with them. So...” he
casually shrugs. “I thought why not get out now, and I came
here.”

“I see. Where
are you from?”

“Seattle.”

My jaw drops
open, oh my god! “Me too” I say happily, finally I have met someone
who has the same connection as me. I am too happy about this and I
can't stop smiling. This feels too good to be real. I miss home
like mad, and now there is someone in Summerton that might actually
understand me.

“Wow” he smiles
back. “Would you look at that?” He jumps up again. “I think I
should be getting you home.” I just nod in reply. “I didn't think
we would have so much in common.”

The second the
word common leaves his lips, I feel my stomach flip. I like him,
really like him, and I am going to do everything in my power to
make him my best friend.

CHAPTER
FOUR

After spending
the whole of Sunday reliving my hour or so with Ayden, it’s finally
Monday. My mother is still acting weird. Today she insisted on
taking Lacey too school with Ted. Of course Lacey jumped at the
chance of riding in a police cruiser. I on the other hand declined,
I couldn't think of anything more embarrassing.

Ayden was
waiting for me as I walked on to the school grounds. He was leaning
against his truck, hands in his jean pockets and looking like your
typical bad boy. I swallowed hard to compose myself before walking
in his direction. He smiled at me, and I had to look away, well to
see if anyone was watching.

When I say
anyone, I actually mean Chase. I couldn't see him anywhere and to
my surprise no one was staring, pointing or laughing at me.

“Jen” he
politely greets me, with a curtious nod. “And how are you
feeling?”

“Good” I nod
back. “And you?”

We both slowly
walk towards the school's entrance. “Good. What did you do
yesterday?”

I give him the
brief highlights, homework, teaching my mother to use the washing
machine. Saving Ted from Lacey and red lipstick, then a short shift
at the Diner. Before I realize we are standing outside our maths
classroom. The dread floods through my body as I remember who I sit
next beside. I’m not ready to talk to him or listen to any apology
or lame excuse he has for rejecting me.

“Do you mind if
I sit next to you?” I ask Ayden.

“Of course you
can” he smiles down at me and walks into the classroom with me
following behind.

I don't look at
Chase and walk right to the back. As I sit down, I make the mistake
of looking at him. His eyes are narrowed and his eyebrow arched.
He's eyes move from me to Ayden and his expression is confused. I
give a little smile which he doesn't return. He turns back around
and doesn't bother looking at me again. Maybe he is just pissed
that he has to do the work himself today.

I pull out my
books, and the lesson begins. I get lost in school, just following
my time table and not really bothering talking to anyone. I have
managed to avoid Becks, I know lunch is now upon me, and I will
have no choice but to talk to her.

So far no one
has mentioned my actions at the party. I guess Chase hasn't said
anything. Which is making me feel rather guilty for refusing to sit
next to him at maths? I make my way to the cafeteria and look
around the room. To my surprise Ayden is sat with Becks and Ali,
they are both laughing at something he is saying.

I slowly walk
over, and he turns to look at me, I raise an eyebrow and he shrugs
at my unspoken question. I pull out a chair and sit down, Becks is
doing her flirting smile and look. Her big eyes focused on Ayden as
her target. I have this wave of jealously hit me and then anger as
I remember that she has been telling my secrets.

“Where did you
get to Saturday?” Ali asks her voice full of concern.

My eyes
abruptly turn to face her, but out of the corner of my eye I am
still watching Becks. I know how full on she can be, and it seems
that Ayden is falling for her charm. My stomach swirls, and I want
to grab him and march him away from her. He hasn't even said
anything to me, was I just a way of him getting close to Becks?
Most probably, look at her. Any man would prefer her over me. I
finally let out a deflated sigh, if he wants her what can I do?

“I went home” I
finally answer Ali's question. “I was feeling ill...”

“Jen,” a voice
says behind me.

Ali's eyes
shoot up, and a big goofy smile spreads across her face. Even Ayden
and Becks flirting has come to a halt. I turn in my chair to see
who has muted the table. Chase is standing behind me; his blonde
floppy, dressed in baggy jeans and the school's football t-shirt.
His blue eyes sparkling at me, I catch my breath and any anguish I
felt about Becks hitting on Ayden is gone.

“Yes,” I
cough.

“I was
wondering if you would join me for lunch” he hand gestures to a
free table. My first reaction is to look over at Ayden. He just
shrugs and turns his attention back to Becks. Guess that's my
answer.