Without care (11 page)

“I see” a
little smirk hits her lips, I bet she was stood at the door
listening. “Ayden is downstairs waiting for you.” She winces and
strolls over to me, her hands gripping my shoulders. “You will be
careful, won't you?”

“Of
course.”

“And you stay
with Ayden” she orders. “It’s a shame you won't be here to
celebrate your birthday. I have waited forever for you to reach
eighteen.”

“Mom,” I smile,
pulling her into my arms. “We can celebrate when I get home. In
fact, we will have tons of reasons to celebrate.”

“I hope so” she
sighs, pulling away from me. “You better get going. I'll miss you,
Jen.”

“I'll only be
gone a week” I laugh, grabbing my bag and heading out of my room.
Just like my mother said, Ayden is waiting down in the hall. The
minute I see him I freeze on the spot.

Wow, he looks
completely different. He's dressed in a shirt and jeans, his hair
is styled to perfection He no longer looks like that dark and moody
teenager. Every inch of him sings confidence, control and not to be
mess with. He turns to look at me and gives a little smile as if he
can read my mind.

I like this
Ayden more. At least he still has those dark mesmerizing eyes,
there was no way he could fake them.

“Are you
ready?” He raises an eyebrow and my mouth has gone dry. I just nod
and walk towards him. “We are doing the silent, nodding thing
again?” Once again I just nod. He gives a little laugh and takes my
bag from me. “This way” and walks out the front door.

Without
thinking I follow him outside and stare at his car. Yes, a car and
not his blue truck. The black SUV matches the new Ayden. I watch as
he throws my bag in the back and walks around to the passengers’
side. I am overcome with nerves, it’s not because I am going to see
my Dad. I have to spend a long time driving with a compete
stranger.

“Jen,” Ayden
sighs, rolling his eyes. “I am still me.” I raise an eyebrow at
him. “Will you just get in the car or shall we forget the whole
thing?”

“No!” I yell
back. I take in a deep breath, he's right, he's still Ayden. Just
without the ripped jeans, urban T-shirts and roughed up hair. I
swallow the lump in my throat, walk over and get in the car. It
doesn't smell like the truck. There isn't that stale tobacco smell,
unless this is a rental.

Ayden gets into
the drivers seat and turns to look at me. I feel little under his
glare; at least some things haven't changed. My body still reacts
the same towards him. His hand lands on my leg and I stiffen under
his touch.

“You need to
relax” he huskily says. “I want you to be comfortable around me.
Nothing has changed just because you know I'm a SWAT officer.” I
nod in reply and shuffle in my seat. He tuts and takes his hand off
me. My leg now wanting his touch back. “Music?”

I listen to
that low depressing voice and try to gather my wits. I concentrate
on the voice singing about 'using somebody'. I know it’s going to
take us at least two days to drive to Seattle and I can't remain
silent the whole way there. I need to get over my nerves. Why am I
acting this way in his presence?

Maybe it’s
because deep down I feel betrayed – that has to be it. He has spent
weeks following me around, making out we were friends, listening to
my problems. While all a long the whole time he was being paid to
do it.

Our friendship
wasn't real! It was his access to me. Although to start with he was
really rude to me. I replay when I met him in Howard’s store, that
cold person, who refused to acknowledge my existence. I have to
admit if he wasn't a SWAT officer, he would make a great Actor. The
thought makes me laugh out loud.

“What's funny?”
He asks, as he starts up the car and drives away from my house.

“You!”

“Why am I
funny?” His eyes are focused on the road.

“Ever been to
acting school?” I watch as he frowns. “Its just you had me very
convinced that you were a teenager. If I recall, you were actually
quiet cold towards me.”

“Well,” he
shrugs. “You know the saying. Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.”

I can't help
laughing at him and he laughs with me. I suddenly feel at ease with
him. I relax back in my seat and watch the sleepy town of Summerton
go by. I know I should be nervous, but I can't wait to see my dad.
I know he will be pleased to see me and I know he will listen to
me. I am finally I am getting away from Summerton and stepping out
into the real world. I close my eyes and listen to the music. This
trip seems to be fun and I can't wait to get home.

“Jen” a voice
says. I feel someone running their fingers through my hair. My eyes
slowly open and Ayden is staring down at me. The car has stopped
moving and I don't recognise where we are. I blink up at him and a
massive smile grows across his face.

“Where are we?”
I yawn, stretching my arms up.

“I thought we
would stay here tonight” he holds up a key and my eyes look
straight a head at the hotel. “Come on, sleepy head” he sings, as
he ruffles up my already messy hair.

I smooth out my
hair and climb out of the car. We make our way towards the hotel's
entrance. Ayden has my bag thrown over his shoulder as if it weighs
nothing. With his free hand, he grabs mine and leads me across the
grand foray. The floor is a white marble and all the fixtures are
gold.

I and my family
always used to stay in places like this on our holidays. My father
would insist on it, he didn't think it was a holiday unless you
were in luxury. I can't help but notice a few women looking at
Ayden as we walk past. He is oblivious to it, my jealous demon is
raring its ugly head. I don't want them looking at him. He's mine.
No one would ever love him as much as I do.

We halt at the
lifts and he turns to face me. I can feel my cheeks turning bright
red just under his gaze. I let out a deep breath, what is wrong
with me? A few hours back I was scared of him and now I am having
strange thoughts about being in love with him. I am going to put it
all down to trauma, it has to be. The lift opens and we both step
inside, I remove my hand from his and stand on the opposite
side.

“Something you
want to tell me?” His voice is crisp and smooth. The doors close
and the space feels suffocating and I begin to feel anxious. I
shake my head, stare straight a head and avoid looking at him
anymore. He tuts and lets out a deep sigh. “This is going to be one
boring trip if you aren't even speaking to me.”

The lift pinged
and came to a stop. He turned to look at me raised an eyebrow.
“Your have to speak to me at some point.” He stepped out and spun
round to face me. “We're sharing a room!” He gives a dazzling smile
and walks off.

My jaw almost
hit the ground and I rushed after him. Sharing a room? What in the
hell... “Ayden!” I call after him. He just casually carries on
walking while I run behind. He stops outside a door and I almost
run straight into him. “We can't share a room!”

“Yes. We. Can!”
He says forcefully, each word harsh and his eyes narrowing at me.
“I told your mother you wouldn't leave my sight.”

I watch as he
opens the door and steps into the room. To my delight there are two
separate single beds. Relief is an understatement. He drops the bag
on the floor, walks over to the bed and flops down on to it. His
dark eyes stare over at me still stood in the doorway. He leans up
on his elbows and gives that side smile.

“You can come
in,” he laughs. He shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “What is
your problem with me?”

“I... umm...
Don't have a problem with you” I lie, closing the door and slowly
walking over to the other bed.

I can't bear to
look at him. He does weird things to me. He makes me feel things I
can't explain. In spite of everything, even though it freaked me
out, I am happy to be sharing a room with him. I am crazy, because
of everything I have learnt about him seems to of made the
attraction more appealing. Now, I am just a stupid high school kid
with a crush. As before, we were the same. He was like me. Now he
is out of my league.

“Jen,” he says
my name softly and his voice still gives me goose bumps. “I know
everything has come as shock. You really do know me. I am still the
same guy who you did homework with.”

“Yes, but now
your a older man with a job and I am just a stupid kid” I hiss, I
look over at him. He looks angry, his dark eyes are narrowed again
and his mouth tight.

“You're not a
kid and I am only a few years older than you.” He runs his hands
through his hair and lies back down. “Fuck!” His fist hits the bed.
“I knew this trip would be a bad idea.” He turns his head to face
me and lets out a deep breath. “You know I like you, right?” I just
shrug. He quickly sits up, swinging his legs over the side of the
bed. “I mean like you, like you.”

“What does that
even mean?” I huff, folding my arms across my chest. Our eyes lock
and I just stare at him, unwilling to look away.

Then it clicks,
my mouth goes dry and I begin to blink rapidly. He likes me! My
heart thumps against my chest, my breathing is uncontrollable. I
swear if I stood up, I would end up face first on the floor. I have
waited weeks to hear those words, to believe my dreams would become
reality. This has somehow shocked my system

When I finally
do look at him, his expression is soft and he is slightly frowning.
I swallow the lump in my throat and wish I didn't look at him. I
would love to leap over and crush myself against his body. That's
not me and I certainly couldn't do that to him. The silence between
us is creating a tension, yet, I can only think about kissing him.
I wonder what it would feel like to run my fingers through his
hair, taste him and be held in his arms.

My cheeks flush
bright red and I’m almost squirming where I am sat. I am beginning
to feel giddy and I know I am smiling. Then Becks comes into my
head and the smile vanishes. He likes me and she is the same age as
me. Well, she was 18 during our last school break. Could he? Would
he?

I feel the
colour drain from my face, the idea of him with her makes my
stomach sink and the bile creeps up my throat. Maybe he does like
me, but it doesn't matter. He isn't the same person he was a few
days ago. He is too old for me and he has a career which he is
dedicated to.

After this trip
I will have to work doubly hard to graduate High School. As now I
know my mother and Lacey are being taken care of, college is now my
future.

“We should eat”
my voice sounds cold. His eyes look at the floor and his shoulders
slouch as if he has been defeated.

“Jen,” he
breaths my name and closes his eyes. I love the way my name sounds
on his lips. His eyes slowly open and once again I am locked in his
hypnotic gaze. “You're right, we should eat.” His whole body
language changes. He's in control again. He’s that confident man
who I met over a month ago. He quickly stands and runs a hand
through his hair. “Then we should make a list of all the places we
should look for your father.”

And just like
that, the moment is forgotten and we are back to the reason we are
on this trip. That I must remember and stop my heart ruling my
head. This isn't about me, this is to find my father and help him.
If that is so, why do I suddenly feel my heart break in two?

Ayden orders
from room service as I sit on the bed with a pen and paper. So far,
I have listed six places I can think where my father would most
likely go. My auntie Mel’s, my grandmothers, his office, the golf
club, the fancy bar he would enjoy Friday drinks and finally, my
old family home. Although these places seem too obvious. If he's a
criminal hiding away, I doubt he would even be seen in any of
these.

I let out a
defeated sigh. This isn't going to be as simple as I first
thought.

I feel the bed
move as Ayden sits down besides me. He picks up my list and begins
to read. “Can you think of anywhere else?” He avoids looking at me
again.

“No,” I mutter,
biting down on the end of the pen.

“How about
friends of his?”

I try to think
about who my father socialized with. There were a few, mainly
partners in his law firm. I remember my mother groaning on and on
about how she hated having them and their wives over for dinner
parties. Although, I would always get a new dress, so I didn't
mind. I let out a deep sigh, we were the perfect family and now it
had turned out like this. My mother and father apart.

My whole
childhood had actually been a lie, a lie my father had hidden
pretty well up till now.

“Just a few
partners in his law firm” I mumble, feeling the sadness slice
through me.

“Write them,
down” he hands my list back to me. “Also, any other family members
you can think about.”

“He was an only
child!”

“Well, there
must be more” I can hear the irritation in his voice.

I slam the list
down. “I'm sorry. I don't know any of his connections in the
criminal world!”