Without a Net (14 page)

It’s not that Eva forgot Ben’s requ
est to visit Travel Town. She simply had too much on her plate for too long. Things were bound to fall off, and that trip was one of them.

Whenever Ben came up with something new he wanted, Eva told him to write it on his “wish list.”
She was careful not to promise that he’d get everything he wished for—only that the presents he did receive on his birthday and Christmas would come from that list. It was courtesy of the list that they went to Legoland when Ben turned five, and Disneyland when he turned six. Smaller items like toys, books, and outings to local attractions likewise got crossed off over time, thanks to Ben’s grandparents, aunt, and uncle.

Until her legal and financial problems got squared away, Eva didn’t have much in terms of personal time or money for the items on Ben’s list.
Between drumming up business, working on the paying accounts that were finally starting to trickle in, wading through the accounting mess Roger had left behind, preparing for the upcoming lawsuit, and staying on top of Ben’s myriad school and extracurricular activities, Eva felt overwhelmed and exhausted.

But how to explain that to an eight-year-old boy whose expectations had already been dashed too many times?

She was still fuming over Max’s high-handedness when the phone rang.

“What?” she barked.

Her brother’s voice responded cautiously, “Eva?”

“Oh. Hi.” She sagged back against the pile of pillows in bed. “What’s up, Logan?”

“Are you okay?”

“Fine. Couldn’t be better.” She dug a thumb into the pain just above her eye. “I’m making chicken burritos for lunch tomorrow. What time will you be here?”

“About that…”
He cleared his throat. “Something came up. I won’t be able to make it. Can I take a rain check?”

“Sure.
Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just…” his voice trailed off.
“Never mind. I’ll talk to you soon. Spring quarter ends Friday. I’m giving the final the week after. I should have more time once it’s over.”

When she hung up, Eva realized that with her brother’s cancellation, she no longer had a legitimate excuse for turning down Max’s offer.

The phone rang again. This time she checked the caller ID before picking up.

“Are you still mad?” Max said.

Despite the blooming headache, and her residual annoyance, Eva couldn’t help feeling a flutter of excitement at the sound of his voice. She tamped it down.

“This is becoming a bad habit with you,” she told him. “Putting me on the spot like that.
Leaving me with no choice.”

His husky murmur traveled across her nerve endings like a caress.
“You always have a choice, Eva.”

She ignored
the warm, melting sensation at the pit of her stomach. “You should have asked me before mentioning anything to my son.”

“I’m sorry.
Forgive me?”

She closed her eyes.
“You really want to go to Griffith Park to look at trains?”

“You know what they say about boys and their trains…”

“I thought that whole Freud thing was debunked years ago.”

He chuckled.
“Maybe. But the obsession with trains is built into our DNA.”

“So is the propensity for bullshit.”

“Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty.” His voice dropped a notch. “What are you wearing?”

“Is this turning into one of
those
calls?”

“You’re hell on my ego, you know that?”

She smiled. “Come by at noon. We’ll save you some chicken burritos.”

###

Eva felt wiped out, and the day had barely begun. She got Ben and Connor to karate, and spent the next fifty minutes scrolling through emails on her iPhone.

Her listings on websites that catered to indie authors were starting to bear fruit.
There were several inquiries regarding book covers and blog tours. One writer asked how much she charged for doing a book trailer.

Nina came by just as class was letting out.

“How was last night?” she asked Eva. “Did my monster behave?”

“I’m not a monster,” Connor protested.

Eva handed Ben his socks and shoes. “Everyone’s in one piece, so I’d say it was a success.”

Ben grinned.
“We’re going to Travel Town today!”

At Nina’s questioning look, Eva shrugged.
Fessing up now might head off questions in the future. “Max showed up last night. He offered, and I couldn’t say no.”

Nina hesitated.
“He’s my brother, so I probably shouldn’t be saying this…”

Eva cut her off.
“It’s just an afternoon at Griffith Park. Nothing more, okay?”

She knew what Nina wanted to tell her.
She’d thought it often enough herself in the past few weeks. Max was pretty to look at and fun to be around, but he wasn’t a likely prospect for anything long-term.

Eva was fine with that.
She simply needed to keep her involvement with Max from spilling over into other areas of her life. After today, no more outings that involved her son. No more impromptu trysts where they ran the risk of discovery. And absolutely no more gambling when it came to birth control.

In fact, first thing Monday morning, she was calling Dr. Goodman for a prescription.

A light breeze stirred the dust, providing minimal relief from the mid-afternoon heat. Slathered in sunscreen and armed with plenty of water, they clambered aboard massive steam- and oil-powered locomotives, old Pullman sleepers and dining cars, and took a ride on a miniature train that ran around the periphery of the park.

Max found himself smiling at random times, amused by Ben’s animated chatter and Eva’s enthusiasm at viewing the old photos on display—though the latter may have had more to do with the air conditioning than the photographs themselves.

When they got back to Santa Monica, Ben skipped up t
he front path toward the house. Max and Eva followed more slowly. She unlocked the door and watched her son disappear inside.

“Thank you,” she said, turning to Max.
“We had a wonderful time.”

“My pleasure.”
He wanted to slip an arm around her, bring her in close, kiss her. But she wouldn’t appreciate the PDA.

He quelled his disappointment when she didn’t invite him in.
It had been a long day, and they were all tired. Not to mention grimy. While he hadn’t given up on the idea of getting a hot and bothered Eva naked in the shower, it probably wasn’t going to happen today.

###

Over the next few weeks, Max tried to snatch as much time with Eva as possible. Mostly at his house, while Ben was at school. Eva balked at going out, claiming she was too busy. With the school year winding down, there was an uptick in year-end activities that required chauffeuring and supervision. She was also focusing on other work besides the marketing of his book. Max tried to be supportive and encouraging, but sometimes found it hard not to resent how that work cut into what little time they had together.

The nights were more difficult.
He ended up spending many sleepless hours hunched over his keyboard, pouring his frustration into a new manuscript. At least his writer’s block was gone. That was about the only good thing to be said for having a cold and lonely bed.

On Saturday afternoon Eva took Ben to her parents in the Valley.
Max kept waiting for her to invite him along, but she either missed or ignored his subtle hints. Worse, she didn’t bother to discuss with him how long she would be gone. As if it didn’t occur to her that he might want to know when she planned to return, if for no other reason than to have some idea of when to start the grill. He was making dinner—New York Strip steaks with garlic butter and potatoes, one of the few dishes he knew how to prepare without a recipe. Maybe he should have flat out asked when to expect her. Except he didn’t want to seem pushy. Or needy.

How ironic.
He’d always been the one to set boundaries, to resist when the woman he was with made too many demands on his time and attention. The moment she started questioning her role in his life, or asking where their relationship was going, he was out the door.

Being on the flip side of the equation was strange and unsettling.
Karma, his sister would say. Whatever it was, he didn’t like it. Too often he had the sense that Eva was trying to pigeonhole him, keep him somehow separate from the rest of her life. Anytime he strayed beyond the limits she imposed, Eva clammed up and retreated.

The best he could do was
continue being patient. Draw her in slowly. Make her feel comfortable in his presence, welcome in his home.

This too was a departure from his modus operandi.
Eva was the first woman, aside from his sister, with whom he didn’t mind sharing his personal space. There was something right about seeing her there, lounging in his bed draped in nothing but a sheet, or pecking away on her laptop beside him.

He lived close enough to Ben’s school that Eva could walk over after dropping her son off in the morning.
If she drove, he offered her the use of the extra parking space in his garage, ever mindful of his sister’s observation that Santa Monica—or at least their part of it—was a small community. Until their relationship was on firmer ground, he didn’t want to attract any more unnecessary attention. Maintaining a low profile would hopefully keep Nina off his back as well. The last thing he needed was for his sister to scare off Eva with tales of his checkered dating history.

Eva ended up calling him from the road.
She was stuck in traffic on the 405, so would probably arrive in thirty-forty minutes.

“Perfect,” he said.
Plenty of time to set the table, open a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon to let it breathe, whisk together a balsamic vinaigrette for the spinach and blue cheese salad, and prep the main dish. The doorbell rang just as he was plating the grilled peaches with ricotta and honey for dessert.

“Wow,” Eva said, coming up for air after his enthusiastic greeting.

It took Max a moment to realize she wasn’t talking about the kiss. She was staring past him, at the white linen spread with lit candles surrounded by clusters of rosebuds. The florist swore Max couldn’t go wrong with this arrangement, but now he wondered if maybe it was a bit over the top.

“Here.” Max pulled her further into the room and poured a glass of wine.

“Is that Andrea Bocelli playing?”

He took a fortifying gulp of wine.
“Too much?”

She
smiled, her eyes luminous in the dim light. “It’s lovely, Max.”

He let out a relieved breath.
Ridiculous for him to be so on edge over a simple dinner date. Granted, he’d never gone to such trouble before Eva. And certainly not in his own home. But he was a seasoned campaigner when it came to women. All of these trappings of romance should be second nature by now.

For some reason, though, he felt unsure of himself.
As if he were venturing into unfamiliar territory, all the landmarks unrecognizable. And in a sense, maybe he was. For the first time in his life, he was going after something he really wanted without any guarantee of success, something that had become so essential to his well-being that failure wasn’t an option, and yet the outcome of this pursuit wasn’t entirely dependent on him. What an extraordinary position to be in: at once terrifying, and humbling, and exhilarating.

The evening unfolded like a dream.
Conversation segued smoothly from one topic to the next. Eva praised his cooking. They lingered over dessert, then blew out the candles, and drifted through a series of languorous kisses into the bedroom.

Her mouth tasted of honey and peach.
He breathed in the faint scent of vanilla as he kissed his way down her neck, across the smooth skin of her shoulder, along the silky curve of her breast.

Wha
t clothing got in way, he pushed aside or lifted, until it was bare skin against skin. He wanted unfettered access, without any barriers, and for a moment even wavered before tearing open a foil packet. She must have sensed his hesitation, because she took the condom from him and rolled it on, transforming the practical necessity into a sensual gesture that had him hardening even more in her hand.

The first thrust was like coming home.
She was warm and wet and tight, and felt as if she were made just for him. This was where he belonged, buried in her heat and softness, her breathy words of encouragement a caress against his ear. He withdrew and sank back into her, again and again, his hands digging into her hips, angling her for deeper penetration.

He couldn’t wait.
It was too much. He reared up, onto his haunches, which had the effect of pressing him farther inside her. His thumb stroked just above where they were still joined.

“
Max.
”

He rubbed her clit in time to his thrusts, breath hitching, muscles tensing.
Sweat dripped down his forehead, blinding him. Her thighs stiffened and she started to convulse around him.

The rush of sensation was overwhelming, unstoppable.
One final push, and then he was collapsing on top of her, groaning, shuddering, the spasms going on and on until he was empty, drained, unable to move at all.

###

He was a morning person. But after a long vigorous night of lovemaking, he really shouldn’t be this chipper. It was beyond strange. He couldn’t explain it, this breathless, almost giddy sense of happiness that had him whistling as he made breakfast. While the coffee brewed, he cleared the detritus from last night’s meal, loaded the dishwasher, and snagged a single rose from the dining table centerpiece.

Eva was still sleeping when he set the tray on the nightstand.
Her nose twitched when he traced the petals along her cheek. He grinned and repeated the caress.

She swatted at the offending flower and opened one eye.

Max laughed.
“Morning, sunshine.”

She grumbled something and tried to roll over, but was constrained by the blanket Max was sitting on.
He reached over her, propping his hand atop the blanket on the other side of her hip, completely trapping her.

“Some of us actually need sleep,” she said.

“I brought you breakfast.”

She glanc
ed at the bedside table and sighed. “You’re spoiling me.”

“I’d like to, if you’d let me.”
He was surprised by how much he meant it.

She tugged at the blanket until he released it.
Tucking the edge beneath her arms, she scooted up against the headboard, effectively keeping herself covered. “Do I smell coffee?”

He took the hint.
For several minutes, they drank and ate in companionable silence. Her appreciation of the simple food—hardboiled egg, buttered toast, vanilla yogurt topped with sliced strawberries—made him realize how little she expected, and paradoxically how much more he wanted to give her.

“Delicious,” she said, licking the spoon and then her lips.
“I could get used to this.”

If he hadn’t been watching her, he might have missed the sudden paling of her cheeks, the fleeting look of panic in her eyes.
He found himself wanting to reassure her. Even though, under ordinary circumstances, that kind of statement would have sent him running for the hills. But when Eva said it, he really could envision an endless succession of mornings just like this, stretching into the distant future. He’d have to learn some new recipes. Or maybe they could cook together. Ben could help.

Eva recovered quickly and changed the subject.
He swallowed his disappointment and pretended not to notice her sudden tension. A few minutes later, she escaped to the bathroom, while he took the breakfast tray back to the kitchen.

He was pouring himself another cup of coffee when an unfamiliar ringtone broke the silence.
It was barely eight o’clock on Sunday morning. Why would anyone be calling Eva, unless it was an emergency? He followed the sound to the living room, where Eva had left her purse last night. She’d clearly had the same thought as him, for she was already there, wrapped in a towel, her wet hair straggling down her back.

She dug out the iPhone.
“Oh. Hi, Nina.”

Instead of giving her some privacy, Max crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall, shamelessly eavesdropping on the conversation.

“I had a few errands to run before picking up Ben,” Eva said, turning her back to Max.

He frowned.
Okay, so he wasn’t exactly announcing their relationship on national TV, but did Eva really feel it necessary to lie to her best friend? It didn’t matter that her best friend happened to be his sister. Nor did it matter that admitting to their relationship might cause problems between Max and Nina. What bothered him was the fact that after the night they had just shared, Eva still refused to acknowledge that something meaningful was happening here.

“Where is it?”
Eva tightened the towel around her, which had the effect of raising the hem another couple inches, nearly to the top of her thighs.

Max felt himself stirring in response.

“I can’t afford anything big.”
She paused, listening intently for a minute. “Well, ok, if you think it’ll work. When can I see it?”

Glancing over her shoulder, she frowned when she saw Max still there.
“I’ll have Ben with me. He doesn’t know we’re moving yet. I don’t want him to worry about where we’ll be living until everything is lined up.”

She returned to the couch and picked up her bag.
“You sure?”

Another
moment, and she disconnected. “I need to get going, Max.”

He’d already figured that out.
It also seemed unlikely he would see any more action today. He sighed and straightened. “What did my sister want?”

“She found a rental that might work.
We’re going to see it this afternoon.”

He followed her back to the bedroom. “Want me to come with you?”

She blinked, as if the thought hadn’t even occurred to her. He gritted his teeth. Her state of denial was really starting to annoy him.

“I don’t think so,” she said.
“But thanks for the offer.”