Without a Front (34 page)

The explanation took the rest of the soup course and all of the main dish, and if Tal had been concerned about discussing another past relationship with her tyree, by the end she was more worried about Darzen's physical health should they ever meet.

“I cannot believe she would take such a drastic, damaging path just to revenge herself! What kind of person puts their personal feelings above the well-being of our entire culture, for Fahla's sake? Can she not see beyond her own shekking ego? Does she have
any
idea how much damage she's caused?”

“It's her truth. I honestly don't believe she's doing this for revenge.”

Salomen stared at her. “You really do live your beliefs, don't you?”

“Yes, I do.”

“And what if you find that it was deliberate?”

Tal took a moment to drink the last of her spirits. Setting the glass to one side, she said, “I hope it never comes to that, because I never want you to see that side of me.”

The silence at their table lasted long enough for the waiter to clear their plates and set out dessert. When they were alone again, Salomen spoke more calmly.

“I keep thinking that should frighten me. But the strange thing is, it doesn't. I know you've been ruthless in the past, and you probably will be in the future. Surely it must be part of your position. But I also know you to be fair almost to a fault. If someone earns your wrath, then it must be well deserved.”

“Thank you. That means a great deal to—oh, shek.” Tal put her face in her hands.

“What is it?”

“I nearly forgot. Someone did earn my wrath tonight. I don't know how to tell you this.”

“Herot.”

“How did you know?”

“Andira, he's my brother. I felt it. Both of you. Well, you not so much.”

“You felt that and you just let it happen? And then you kissed me in the transport! How could you…great Mother, you've learned to front well!”

Salomen smiled. “You're cute when you're flustered.”

“I'm not flustered, I'm shocked.”

“I know. I probably should have said something earlier, but I didn't want Herot and his problems to be in the middle of our date. But now that he's here anyway, I guess we need to discuss it. What happened? I know he was angry and bitter, which is a normal state of mind for him these days, and somehow he managed to make you angry as well. Then his emotions were everywhere at once, but the strongest I felt was shame and regret. I have no idea what you said to him, but it had a spectacular effect.”

Tal's initial relief vanished. She didn't know after all. “I…well, there wasn't much of a conversation.”

Salomen's eyes narrowed. “What did you do?”

“I hit him.”

“You
hit
him?”

Tal straightened in her chair. “He said something I could not overlook. I'm sorry, truly I am, but I do have limits and he went well over them.”

Now it was Salomen's turn to put her face in her hands. “All right,” she said to the table, “I think you'd better tell me what he said.”

“I'd rather not.”

Salomen lifted her head. “That was not a request. If you hit my brother because of something he said, I need to know what it was.”

After a long pause, Tal said, “He made an extremely crude reference regarding my intentions toward you. It impugned both my honor and yours. And that is all I will say.”

“Oh, Herot, you grainbird. Never mind, I don't need to know any more. He was just pushing as hard as he could.”

“Yes, well, I think he pushed a little further than he intended.”

“Where did you hit him?”

“Just below the sternum. He was still trying to breathe when I left him. He'll be bruised and sore, but it won't cause any damage. I think my last words hurt him more than the blow. I asked him if he thought Nashta would be proud of him.”

“
That's
what I felt. Oh yes, you hurt him.” Salomen took a thoughtful bite of her dessert. “Well, perhaps that will make a difference. I've tried everything I could think of, and so have Father and Nikin, but none of us can get through. He's been angry at the world and everyone in it since Mother's Return. I'm sorry you've been pulled into this.”

“I think I'd be involved anyway. Varsi gave me a new point of view while we walked to my transport, and it made sense. She suggested that Herot is afraid of losing you to me. Long term.”

“Oh.” Salomen put her fork down. “Oh, shek. I didn't think of that. For all his anger and disrespect toward me, I'm still the closest thing to a mother figure he has. If he's afraid of me going away with you, then…”

“Then he would lash out at me in any way he could,” Tal finished. “And by losing my temper, I played right into it. But I couldn't do otherwise, Salomen. I could not let that insult stand.”

“I know. I'm not blaming you. He's been pushing all of us to our limits, and insulting my honor and yours—oh, for the love of our Goddess, what
was he thinking? He insulted the Lancer's honor!”

“You just now noticed that?”

“Agh! What are we going to do with him? If we don't pull him back onto a path of decent behavior soon, he's going to be lost. Not everyone is as forgiving as you, and even you were angry enough to hit him. What if the next person isn't so forgiving? Or so good at landing a minimally damaging blow?” She looked at Tal's expression of surprise and added, “I listen when you tell me your stories, Andira. I know how easily you could have hurt him. I also know that you intentionally chose not to. Thank you for that.”

“You don't seriously think I would have done real damage, do you? To your brother?”

“Of course not. My point is that someone else might.” She shook her head. “I wish Mother were here. Fahla, but I miss her. She would know what to do.”

“I'm sorry.” They were supremely inadequate words, but there was little more Tal could say.

“I know. And I know you understand, and that helps.” Salomen paused. “Hm. Maybe he's pushing you because you're the next best thing to Mother.”

“Excuse me?”

“No, think about it. The one person he truly respected was Mother. She would never have let him get away with a tenth of this behavior. She'd have told him he wasn't too big for a stripping, and it would not have been a bluff.”

Tal already respected Nashta Opah, but this information gave her a whole new outlook on the woman. Stripping was a last-resort punishment designed to shame children into proper behavior. Taking away a child's clothing and replacing it with the clothing of a much younger child forced the miscreant to dress the age he or she was acting. The public humiliation factor was very high, rendering it a punishment so effective that usually the mere threat of it could bring a recalcitrant child into line. But it was never used once a child reached the Rite of Ascension. For Nashta to actually back up such a threat was astonishing.

“You're the only other person he hasn't been able to bluff,” Salomen continued. “You turned down his advances, left him in the dirt on your run, took him down like a small child when he tried to hit you, and actually struck him tonight. Every time he's pushed you, it hasn't worked. You consistently make him pay the consequences for his actions, and I think he keeps coming back for more because somewhere deep down inside, he needs what you're doing. You've earned his respect.”

Tal laughed. “You had me on that line of reasoning right up until the last sentence. Herot does not respect me. If he did, he would never have spoken the way he did tonight.”

“He does, Andira. You're just accustomed to respect being displayed in a different manner. I grew up with three brothers; believe me when I say their notions of demonstrating respect don't coincide with those of trained warriors.” Salomen leaned forward. “You're the Lancer. You're an authority figure by your title alone, and you've demonstrated that authority on several occasions now. I think you're precisely what he's been missing since Mother went to her Return.”

Tal sampled her dessert in silence as she considered Salomen's theory. The pastry was excellent, as everything else had been, but she barely noticed.

“If you're correct,” she said at last, “and I think you probably are, then I'll do whatever I can to be the figure Herot needs. But I'm new at this, and I'm bound to make mistakes.”

Salomen shook her head. “Please. My whole family would be indebted to you if you can help with Herot.” Picking up her fork, she added, “Bet you never pictured a family like ours when you were envisioning your tyree.”

“I can't say that I pictured anything quite like this, no. But then for me, any family at all is something new. Our times at table, with everyone gathered in one place and all the emotions interlacing…it's been wonderful. Barring Herot's black moods, of course.”

“Truly?”

“Truly.”

Salomen reached out for her hand. “I'm so glad. You and Colonel Micah have both been a very welcome addition to our table. I haven't seen Father so animated since Mother's Return. He looks forward all day long to his evenings in the parlor with Colonel Micah. It's been good for him to have a friend who doesn't see him as the surviving member of a bond. And I looked forward all day long to my evenings with you, even before we called our truce. It's difficult to believe you've been here less than a moon.”

“It's even more difficult to believe I have so little time left. I'll miss Hol-Opah. But at least I'll be taking the best part of it with me next moon.” Tal watched as Salomen sat back, a suspicious flush rising to her face. “Are you blushing?”

“No, I'm just warm.”

Tal made no answer save for a wide grin, and though Salomen resisted, she eventually broke into a smile as well.

“I swear you make me feel things I never have before. I am not the blushing type.” She sipped her drink and added, “Nor do I particularly want to be. It's embarrassing.”

“So I should refrain from complimentary observations, then.”

“I didn't say that. Perhaps I'll become accustomed to them with enough practice.”

They finished their meal with a divine pot of shannel. Tal swooned over it, and when Corsine arrived at their table, she informed him that he had surely gotten his recipe from Fahla herself. She had never tasted shannel that good in Blacksun. Corsine sniffed that very little in Blacksun was as good as its inhabitants thought it was, and Tal concealed her smile. He really was a snob, but she liked him. After all, the man had every reason to feel superior regarding his cuisine.

The other diners were more polite during their departure than they had been earlier. Though everyone still watched them, they were a good deal more discreet about it—except the Bilsners, who glared at them with no pretense of politeness.

“I really thought Gordense was going to say something nasty,” Salomen commented as they stepped into the fresh evening air. “He certainly wanted to.”

Tal nodded at the Guard, who fell in step at a discreet distance behind them. “His courage doesn't go as far as speaking directly to me. But I'm afraid you may be in for a difficult time tomorrow.”

“Don't worry about me. I know how to handle Gordense and his ilk.”

“I know you do. In fact, part of me feels sorry for them.”

“What does the other part feel?”

“Happy that I'm not them?”

Salomen laughed. “Thank you for your faith in me.”

“That isn't faith. Faith occurs in the absence of evidence. I've seen a great deal of evidence regarding your ability to verbally flatten anyone requiring it.”

“Would that by any chance include yourself?” Salomen reached the transport first and pressed the sensor pad.

“You didn't flatten me,” Tal said as they settled into their seats. “You just…opened my eyes a bit.”

The flight back to Hol-Opah was just as quiet as the trip out had been, but this time the edginess was absent. Whenever Tal had a free hand, she reached out to hold Salomen's. They traded glances now and again, accompanied by smiles that existed for no particular reason, and while Tal recognized their actions as being laughably stereotypical, she didn't care.

Varsi was stationed on the front porch when they landed and gave the transport a salute before studiously averting her eyes.

“Is she afraid of seeing something?” Salomen asked.

“She can't. I never turned off the privacy screen. But she knows we can see her, so she's showing respect by not looking at us. That way we won't feel awkward if we…” Tal trailed off, reaching out to slip her fingers beneath the thin strap of Salomen's dress. “…do what I've been thinking about doing all evening,” she finished in a whisper. “Fahla, but you are stunning in this.”

Gently, she pushed the strap off Salomen's shoulder and stroked soft skin, running her fingertips from shoulder to jaw and back again. Salomen tilted her head to one side, her eyes closing, and Tal wondered how it could have taken her so long to see this woman's beauty. There was so much she wanted now, but none of it was possible except this simple caress. And perhaps…

Her lips touched just above the low neckline, and Salomen sighed as Tal brushed the other strap down. With both hands she gripped now-bare shoulders, exerting just enough pressure to convey her desire while countering it with gentle kisses. She covered every part of Salomen's upper chest and shoulders, never pressing too hard, keeping her emotions tamped down, always mindful of a potential empathic flash. But her focus was broken when a hand against her cheek guided her upward. Salomen was looking at her with a heat in her eyes that was twice as arousing in reality as it had been in Tal's fantasy.

“If you wished to test my fronting skills,” Salomen said hoarsely, “you could devise nothing more difficult.”