Within These Walls (39 page)

“What the hell? What kind of business?” I clamored, instantly regretting my tone. “I’m sorry, Stephanie. Forgive me. Thank you for the message. I’ll be sure to immediately follow up with my brother.”

“Um…well, actually—”

“Thank you.” I hit End before the anger in my voice rose again.

I quickly tried Roman’s cell phone, but it went directly to voice mail.

I should have known better than to trust him. For the last six months, he’d been nothing but doting and dedicated to our plans to revive and refurbish this company. We’d been on the same page.

Now, he’d bailed without notice to me, canceling a very important meeting with the board.

Rising from my chair, I stalked to the windows and stared out at the bustling city down below.

“One…two…three…” I started, trying to see the method behind my father’s madness. “He probably picked up the first woman he could find,” I muttered. I pictured my brother on some far off island, boozing it up, while I sat around, scratching my head.

“Actually…” a sweet voice echoed from behind me.

I turned around and lost the ability to breathe.

“I probably wasn’t the first woman. It did take him six hours to reach me, and he did see Grace first, so I don’t know what that would make me, but definitely not the first,” she babbled.

Finding the words to respond escaped me as I took her in while she stood in the doorway of my New York office. She’d gained some weight, filling in curves I never knew existed. Dressed in a simple green sweater, tight jeans, and boots, she looked like perfection.

“You’re here,” I managed to say.

“Yeah.” She smiled.

“You’re really here,” I said again, the reality setting in. I moved quickly, taking several long strides toward her.

Lifting a shaky hand, my fingers grazed her cheekbone. My eyes squeezed tight, emotions overwhelming my parched soul. “Dear God, if I’m dreaming…I don’t ever want to wake up,” I whispered.

“You’re definitely not dreaming. But if you need proof…”

My eyes opened just in time to see the palm of her hand make contact with my face.

“Ouch!” I yelled. “What the hell was that for?”

It wasn’t exactly the reunion I had expected.

“That,” she said, her eyes blazing, “was for making important life decisions without me, Jude.”

“Nice,” my brother’s baritone voice said as his towering figure appeared behind her. “I like her.” He grinned. “Not even five minutes here, and she’s already putting you in your place.”

“Get out,” I growled.

“Oh, I will. You two have fun. By the way, Jude, you’re welcome.”

He pivoted around, and I listened to his chipper whistle evaporate down the hall.

I turned and walked over to the plush sitting area my father had put in for small business meetings. I’d used it for a bed on several occasions when I hadn’t felt like catching a taxi home. Right now, I thought we could both use a comfortable place to sit and talk.

Still rubbing the sting out of my cheek, I watched her slowly lower herself to the sofa, her beautiful blue eyes meeting mine as she settled. Right then, everything in me that had been lying dormant for months roared back to life.

Take her.

Take her now.

My fists balled at my sides as I showed the greatest physical restraint of my life. I’d dreamed, fantasized, and pictured her in my mind nearly every second since the day I left her bedside. Seeing her here, healthy and recovered, made me want to do every sort of cliché caveman thing to her.

“So, you want to explain yourself?” she asked, her foot bobbing up and down as she sat with her legs crossed.

“Explain what, Lailah?”

“Why you decided to leave me?”

“Obviously, you know why,” I answered.

“I do. Your brother is apparently a good investigator…or he has friends who are. I didn’t ask specifics. So, yes, I know exactly why you left, but I still don’t understand why you couldn’t have just told me.”

I let out a deep breath. “Would you have let me go?”

Her mouth opened quickly and then closed again.

“Exactly,” I said. “You would have never let me leave, Lailah. You had thrown in the towel, given up, raised your little white flag in surrender to your fate. And I understood that, I did. You’ve been through more shit than most people experience in an entire lifetime. But understand it from my perspective. Put yourself in my shoes. You were dying with no hope for a recovery unless you got that surgery. I did what I had to do to keep you alive. It was the only option for me.”

She nodded, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “But why didn’t you come back?” she asked. “I remember now—when you were in my hospital room after the surgery. You wanted to stay. Why didn’t you stay with me?”

“I should have known you’d remember that,” I said with a slight grin. “I wanted to, more than you could possibly imagine. Walking away a second time, especially after you’d just undergone very risky surgery, was like taking a bullet to my heart for every mile I put between us. But I can’t run this company from Santa Monica. This was my deal to Roman for returning, my penance for giving you a life you deserve. I can’t abandon my family, not again.”

“So, where does that leave us?” she asked, her eyes meeting mine.

I took a deep breath, letting the air slowly vacate my lungs. “I don’t know, Lailah.”

Silence settled between us before I heard her lilting voice again.

“Did you know that NYU has an excellent cardiology department?”

My heart skipped a beat.

“I didn’t know that,” I answered, trying to gauge her blank expression.

“They do. Marcus says that transferring my care to the East Coast would be relatively easy if—”

“If you moved here?” I finished, my eyes widening.

She nodded, her expression brimming with excitement. “It’s already done. My things are being shipped next week. See? You’re not the only one who can make life decisions all on your own.”

“You’re moving to New York?” I asked in bewilderment.

This can’t be possible.

“Yeah, but I can’t decide where to live. Do you think you could help me find a place?” She grinned.

Reaching out, I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to me. She let out a high-pitched yip and laughed as her legs fell around my thighs.

“You will be living with me,” I said. “Forever.”

Our lips met, and I was in heaven again with the sweet taste of her kiss and the way she molded her body against mine. She was my salvation.

Life—it really did go on, even after insurmountable grief, debilitating sorrow and a life waiting to begin. As long as we were able to love and be loved in this world, no heart would ever be beyond repair.

Love had brought me to her and there, within her arms, I had found a reason to live again. She was my angel, my Lailah, my love.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP…

My eyes still shut, I listened, focusing on my surroundings, as I felt the sheets, smelled the air, and did my mental checklist.

“Oh my God, Lailah! Turn off that damn alarm!” Jude mumbled.

I laughed, remembering exactly why I’d stopped doing the mental checklist a long time ago.

There was no need.

Every morning, I awoke in the same place.

Home.

It didn’t matter if we were in our high-rise Manhattan apartment or in a hotel room on the California coast. The man next to me would always be the only home I ever needed.

I opened my eyes to find Jude buried under our covers with his pillow firmly covering his head.

“You know, you could turn it off,” I suggested with a smirk.

The pillow lifted, and I saw his doubtful expression change as he looked over at the alarm clock on my side of the bed. A wicked grin crossed his face as he suddenly sprang, pinning me underneath him, while he reached across to cease the loud beeping. His hard naked chest brushed against mine, and I felt my nipples pebble instantly.

“That was an excellent idea,” he said, surveying his new view like a king.

“It’s never good to be lazy,” I whispered.

His mouth took mine. My hands dived into his short hair as my legs wrapped around his waist.

An hour later, he’d thoroughly proven just how necessary alarm clocks were.

I raced around our hotel room, looking for my lost shoe.

“This is all your fault!” I yelled, pushing my head under the bed in search of the long-lost nude pump.

“You weren’t complaining last night,” he scoffed. “In fact, I seem to remember something along the lines of, ‘Oh God, Jude, never stop…please never stop.’ Can’t blame a guy for trying to follow directions.”

My head reappeared from the lower recess of the bed, and as I stood, I turned away to try to hide the blush he’d caused. I felt his tender touch wrap around my waist as he turned me around.

“I love seeing that. Don’t ever hide it.” He smiled, brushing his thumb down my reddened cheek.

“I can’t find my shoe,” I said with a pout.

His smile widened as his eyes narrowed in on my bottom lip.

“Focus, tiger.” I laughed. “Shoe. Me. Need it.”

“Right,” he answered. “Okay, one shoe coming up!”

After ten minutes, he was on the bed with his shoulders slumped in apparent defeat. “Are you sure you can’t just go barefoot?”

I gave him a hard stare.

He shook his head, lifting his hands in surrender. “Okay, give me the shoe.”

I handed him the left shoe, and I watched him walk to the hotel phone. He punched a single digit and waited.

“Hi, yes. I need someone to go retrieve some shoes for me—and fast. Size seven and a half. Nude. Maybe a two- or three-inch heel?” He looked up at me for confirmation.

My dumbstruck face just nodded.

“Good. Thanks.”

“Oh my God, what did you just do?” I asked, laughing.

“I used the benefits of this ridiculously expensive hotel.”

“That was like watching a deleted scene of
Pretty Woman
.”

“Except?” He moved from the bed and stalked forward.

“Except you’re way hotter,” I answered.

“Good answer.” He stopped himself several steps from me and turned back around. “If I touch you again, we’re never going to make it there on time.”

“Well then, stay over there. If we’re late again, Grace will kill us.”

“It was the rehearsal dinner. It wasn’t even the rehearsal, and it was, like, five minutes.” He waved a flippant hand as he slumped down in the desk chair and began to tie the silk tie around his neck.

I went into the bathroom and finished curling my hair, loving the way the soft coils tumbled down my back. Taking a new interest in clothing and makeup, I’d turned into quite the girl since my recovery. Grace had been thrilled, constantly emailing me sales and brands she loved.

Being in the hospital, I’d never had an opportunity to dress myself the way I’d wanted. Everything was made for comfort, and although I still loved my sweats and yoga pants, I enjoyed dressing up for an evening out. This body of mine had been through the ringer, and it had always been something I was proud of, just not particularly interested in adorning it.

Now, I was proud and showing it.

I finished attaching the back of the diamond earrings Jude had bought me several months earlier, and I looked at myself in the mirror one last time just as a knock came to the front door of our hotel room.

That couldn’t possibly be the shoes.

“Hey, angel, your shoes are here!” Jude called from the other room.

I walked out and found a stack of shoes at least six boxes high.

“Holy crap,” I said, gazing up at the display.

“Well, with sizing difference, I wanted to make sure you had options. So, pick what you want to wear now, and keep the rest.”

I tried not to let the designer labels deter me.

The second day I had been in New York, he had taken me shopping. I’d nearly had a stroke, short-circuiting that brand-new heart of mine, when I came in contact with some of the price tags I’d been handed.

Money was part of Jude’s life now. It had taken him a while to adjust again after living with so little for so long, but now, he had a different outlook on all of it.