With Spring Comes the Fall (17 page)

Posted by Josh Guess at 
8:38 AM

...exactly what it sounds like. The guys and gals at Google have outdone themselves. Holed up in Mountain View, the employees of Google and their families have managed to bring youtube up. It's apparently required a lot of Macguyvering to get this going, but their hope is to increase communication among survivors. I imagine that if society ever gets back to the point of having a stock market again, Google stock will be number two in the world, right behind zombie protection gear.

We have started a channel, naturally. www.youtube.com/LivingWithTheDead

First video to be posted later today. Hopefully, many more will follow.

Posted by Josh Guess at 
12:53 PM

Monday, May 3, 2010

Something is going on around here. I don't know who is doing it, but I will find out.
This morning, about an hour ago, my dogs started barking. They only do that when someone comes pretty close to the house. I woke up and ran to look out one of the peepholes, but didn't see anyone there. No zombies, no people.
I asked the lookouts if they had seen anything. One of them said he heard someone running, but the cloud cover was so dense that seeing anything was impossible.
But now, we know that it wasn't a zombie, and likely wasn't a marauder. The clouds have broken and there is enough predawn light outside that we can see what happened. Someone has been going around, tagging houses. Writing horrible things on the the doors of a few of the people who are living in polygamous groups, scrawling threats on the doors of some folks who have expressed distaste for endorsing any decisions based on religion, and on my own door, a half finished swastika. Not the manji, mind you, which is the same symbol but used by many cultures to represent many ideas throughout history, and none of them bad, but the actual swastika, circle and all.
Apparently, someone thinks I am a nazi. I can see why this is happening, I knew that not everyone would be on board with some of our decisions. But at no point did I think this sort of childish baiting would happen. Silly me.
I will find you. This is not acceptable.

Posted by Josh Guess at 
6:20 AM

So, there's this whole "hateful graffiti" thing going on... We have GOT to work out a more efficient and calm way of voicing opinions. Maybe some sort of press/publication? Though isn't that sort of what we have going on here? A blog isn't much, but it's SOMETHING, at least. Anybody can make one, for anybody to read. Maybe a message board? Would anonymity help, or hurt? See what I'm doing here, is trying to think of solutions, because whoever did this is probably feeling scared, like they have no voice, or something like that. But their actions are themselves helping to create a culture of fear. Inside the compound, we are supposed to be safe. We are neighbors, friends, and family. We can disagree, and even despise one another at times, but in this crazy B-movie gorefest of a world, we need to have safe havens, where we know we at least aren't going to hurt one another. Whoever you are that did this, if you're feeling sad, or scared, or just frustrated, please understand, we ALL are. I know things aren't perfect here, but we're really trying to make our world the kind of place we want to live in, and that we'll be proud to have our children live in. 
Josh keeps saying there's room enough for everyone here, and physically that's true, to a large extent, but what do we gain by making others feel unwelcome, like there's not enough space emotionally? A hostile, tense collection of heavily-armed individuals? We have the seeds planted to grow a thriving community; please bear with us for a while while we tend these seeds. 
But, hey, let's get something straight. You have beef with the way things are being run, okay. We can work this out. We HAVE to. It's no big secret that I disagree on some key issues, too. Dissent is an important part of keeping a society honest. But listen, there are ALREADY kids here. Do not for one second think that because we strive for diplomacy and moderation of disputes that we are cool with being trampled upon. Get wise to this, and please think of a more constructive way to voice your dissatisfaction next time. Because words like those are violence, too.
...sigh. This After-School Special has been brought to you by Courtney.

Posted by Courtney at 
7:59 PM

I don't like anything about the current situation. I am dealing with people on all sides, who all demand that their ideas are the only way to go, I have people telling me that we have to enforce "moral living", essentially saying that we have to define a family unit in our community just like it was before the fall.
My personal thoughts seem irrelevant to most of them. Moreover, facts and reason seem to be completely ignored. Add to that the necessity of pulling people off of work details to investigate the vandalism last night, which puts some projects behind schedule, and it adds up to a pretty bad day so far.
I have taken care of most of our business for today, and delegated the rest. I need to get out for an hour, and luckily, my brother needs to go out and scout for some supplies we need for the wall. I am going with him, to ride shotgun, and we'll snag a few more people before we go.
I would much rather deal with a direct threat, even zombies, than the headache that this place has been the last few days. I am starting to see where Courtney is coming from. A few closed-minded bad apples really can set a bad example for the kids, and that's not tolerable.
Hopefully the folks I sent out to ask questions and see if anyone has paint on their hands will have something for me when I get back.
It tickles me that people are attacking others in the dead of night for a supposed lack of morals, and really makes me chuckle that they apparently don't see the irony in that.
Funny, huh?

Posted by Josh Guess at 
11:47 AM

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Ok, for today, I am mostly going to leave out our ongoing investigation into whoever is trying to terrorize people around here that disagree with them. Because I don't want to let anything slip, and because the whole thing is pissing me off. So for this post, I am going to focus on some plans my brother and I have been working on for a bit now.
 
One of the things that has been a concern for us is a stable and sizable water supply for the whole community. Frankfort has gravity-fed systems, but any system is vulnerable where it is most vital: delivery. So we had the idea to build a system of cisterns around the Compound, and basically have wells in them to draw water.
We've already got some decent stuff for some of the houses, such as rain catchers and barrel storage, but we need to go large scale, because a time will surely come when we will need it.
Next!
We are, of course, working on the wall around the entire compound. This is a HUGE undertaking, and while some areas have sections under construction, many have nothing at all started, other than the rapidly disintegrating wall of cars.
Zombies are impacting that wall of cars every day, in multiple places. We are shoring up where we have to, and hoping that we will be able to get major work done on the real wall before we get blindsided with a very large group.
So you can see why I am so goddamn frustrated with this whole situation. I have to pull people off of work details to investigate, hurting our production on wall segments. It's bad for all of us.
Just take Courtney's advice and come forward, talk to us about all of this. We can find a solution, and we can get back to helping each other instead of infighting.
Please.

Posted by Josh Guess at 
10:44 AM
 

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Today is a bad day, for reasons that I lack the time to document in detail. Several things have happened, each making things worse. 

We have discovered who has been responsible for the recent bouts of graffiti and vandalism. 

In apprehending this group of people, five of them in all, we took ten people, which shortened our numbers for other projects. 

While we were in the process of arresting the offenders, they fought us with extreme violence, forcing us to call for additional help, depleting our numbers by another ten. 

It was during this fracas that the lookouts spotted a wave of zombies coming for us. The arrest and ensuing violence distracted many people on duty, and because of that violence, occupied more than ten percent of our population. Since we operate on a three shift schedule, this weakened our position terribly. Normally such a group would pose no threat. We take down several a week. 

The wave broke through, and we estimate the number of zombies to reach the second street back at around thirty. As a group, they broke through a partially constructed fence, and the result is that a girl of ten is dead. Her mother is, understandably, inconsolable. 

I have very hard decisions ahead of me, and I am trying to give my rage time to cool before I make them. 

Right now, I am not inclined to mercy. 

Posted by Josh Guess at 
4:48 PM
 

I commented previously that I can't get these recent events out of my head. I guess I shouldn't even be trying to, what with having to come to Big Decisions soon about the fate of the offenders. Oh, how I wish I could feel self-righteously smug about them now depending on the compassion and tolerance they so vehemently derided, but it's all so hollow, and it just makes me feel even more queasy than before. I've had tears running down my face for what seems like forever now; no time for choking sobs or fetal positions, just rushing back and forth across the compound, trying to shore up the defenses, tend to the wounded, all while the tears fall, eerily detached from any other expression of sadness. 
Evans couldn't save her. None of us could, but of course it falls upon the doctor to pronounce her dead. No technology that exists in the world could have saved what was left of her, but her mom carried the too-small, too-bloody bundle to Evans nevertheless, unwilling to give up hope. Evans said little on the matter, as usual, but he looked very tired. "THIS is why you brought me here?" is probably what I would ask, were I him, but as I say, he keeps his thoughts to himself. 
It's probably a small mercy that she was so far gone; I still don't exactly understand this whole zombie outbreak thing, how it started, how it spreads. I for one have not ruled out supernatural causes, but the truth is, I just plain lack sufficient knowledge of science, religion, or magic to figure out any real answers. Some people have had some rather cynical assessments of the responses of our fellow man in the time after the outbreak, but I still wonder if the Marauders weren't somewhat affected by whatever made the zombies, too, like it warped their minds somehow? I don't even know whether I want this to be true or not, because it would sort of excuse their actions, but if they're tainted, they might not be redeemable... Anyway, I know they're probably just scared, angry people who lack or suppress basic empathy, but I'm hesitant to rule out other answers. We may never know what really happened, but that doesn't mean we will stop trying to puzzle it out.
Ah, yes, here we go, the horrible, sick feeling in my stomach is back. I managed to distract myself for a few minutes, but of course it didn't last. Screw it, why try to ignore it? Her name was Lindsey. Her dad died, protecting his family from zombies, of course, and she was all her mom had left. "Mommy says Daddy's in heaven now," she would dutifully repeat, but in a voice that sounded like she doubted whether a place like heaven could really exist with a world as messed up as this one. She loved purple, and butterflies, and peanut butter sandwiches with the crusts cut off. Everybody that knew her loved her, and I think she kept our debates more civil, because no one wanted to upset her by shouting and cussing. She would sing little songs about having too many kittens on a boat or frogs on a log or whatever other weird little kid songs there are. She and Steve played together more than once; kids love Steve because he will play whatever they want, and not tell them it's too silly. It was some game they made up where you run back and forth and pick up rocks and put them in a pile but try not to wake the scarecrow, because then you have to roll away? Steve tried to explain it, but I never quite figured it out. Now I guess I never will. If my beautiful sister Sarina is still alive, she'll be ten now, too. I miss her so much I feel like there's a hole in my heart, and having Lindsey around made it feel a little better. Lindsey was a beautiful little girl and a precious life and never did a single thing to possibly deserve a fate like this. If there is any consciousness in the universe that has mercy and the power to act upon it, Lindsey is with her Daddy again, and they are chasing butterflies together and very, very happy. For the rest of us, there is just that patched-up hole in our perimeter where our defenses should have been, and a gaping hole in our community where a little girl should have been. I don't know if it's possible to fix that one.
I want to punch the people that caused the disturbance, over and over again until they double over from the pain in THEIR gut. I want to scream at them, "MURDERER!" and see them shunned and condemned by the community they betrayed. But, I am not going to act on this. These are thoughts brought on by grief, and acting under these influences will surely lead to vengeance, but not justice. Lindsey didn't even like to hear us arguing; what darker deeds would we think to carry out in her name? Let us each mourn her passing in our own way, but let that be separate from whatever trials and sentencing may take place. Remember these are not even Marauders, these are people that until a few days ago shared chores, meals, music, laughter...and we have to think about intent. Who in the world that remotely counts as a sane individual would WANT a little girl to die? I am sure it was never their intention to harm such an obvious innocent. They are no doubt grieving, too.
And they should be.