With One Look (27 page)

Laughing and playful, ever so alive, Jade threw herself on top of him and his unpleasant thoughts disappeared with the irresistible lure of her happiness. He had neither chance nor choice; he never had. His body was already hot, ready, waiting, greeting the music of her laughter, the long wet hair lapping over his hot skin and the thrilling feel of her bare breasts against him with greedy enthusiasm. He gently turned her onto her back. He would have her now, on a marshy bank under a canopy of a bright blue sky....

Mercedes and Sebastian rode up to the entrance just after the carriage swung around the center circular drive. "Our dresses! Our dresses have finally come!" Mercedes cried in excitement. 'Tessie! Where's Jade?"

As excited as Mercedes, Tessie watched the progression of box after box be carried into the house. "At the pond!" Mercedes did not pause. She reined her horse around and pushed the spirited mare into a gallop.

Jade had dreamt of this kiss. He molded her mouth to his, his tongue swept insistently into hers as her moist body pressed against his hot skin. Warm desire swept through her and she reached her hands around his neck--

Victor looked up to see the horses galloping up. Before he even turned, he pulled the blanket up and over her. Seeing Mercedes and Sebastian and remembering passing the carriage on his way back, he felt a relief almost as intense as it was painful. "I believe Mercedes has come to fetch you."

The two riders reined up and took in the scene. Sebastian smiled. "It must be the sunshine ..."

Numbed and overwhelmed, Jade sat in a chair, listening to Mercedes's and Tessie's wild exclamations as they inspected one dress after another. Was there no end? A pale blue day dress, a green-and-violet ball gown, a flowered silk dress, matching pelisses, a pale apricot one, another

flowered one, and on and on, and after an endless parade of dresses came lace and ruffles, petticoats, hats, scarves, slippers, night dresses. She was going to cry....

Victor entered the room to find Jade sitting in the chair as still and pale as a porcelain doll, buried in a pile of new dresses and looking, dear Lord, as if she were about to break down. He motioned for Mercedes and Tessie to leave them.

He took the clothing from her lap. "Jade, what's wrong?"

"Oh. Victor. It's you," she said, wiping her eyes quickly. "No ... nothing's wrong." He chuckled affectionately. "Then why are you crying?"

"I just ... I can't accept all this...." She waved her arm around the room. "You're crying because you can't accept my present?"

She bit her lip and shook her head. How could she tell him that she did not want his presents, that it scared her to receive gifts like this? All she wanted was for him to tell her that he loved her, that he was going to marry her. Such generosity might be acceptable afterward, but arriving before any declaration, it made her afraid.

"You're so generous," she said softly, knowing it was an understatement. "But I really can't accept all these lovely things."

"Why?"

"It ... it just wouldn't be proper."

"Proper?" He laughed. "Don't tell me you're going to deny me the pleasure of seeing you in some pretty new clothes because of some ridiculous sense of propriety."

"Victor, it's just that you have given me so much already—you've helped me, kept me safe from some imagined threat, taken care of me. I live in your house and ... and now, all this." Again she motioned across the room. "It makes me feel... well, I don't have any way to repay you."

"Repay me?" A curious emotion sprang in his gaze. "What are you thinking, sweetheart? That if you accept my gifts you'll have to accept my lovemaking?" He smiled when she tried to deny it. "I knew you wouldn't think that," he said softly, seriously. "Operating on such a simple, shallow level of reciprocity makes a mockery out of us and all we've shared together. It's beneath you and, I assure you, it's beneath me. I don't have to buy or even win your favors; I've never had a woman who gave herself so completely or freely to me."

On the heels of a troubled pause she asked, "The night you left ..."

Victor brought her to her feet only to enclose her in his arms. "It was only a dream, Jade Terese."

"Did you hear what I said to you then," she whispered, afraid to turn her face to him. "You never answered. I mean, I want to know—"

"If I've fallen in love with you too?"

He received her nod before his arms tightened around her, his lips brushing her forehead. "Yes Jade, I've fallen in love with you. I've known you such a short time and when I realize how much I could love you ... it scares the hell out of me."

Her fingers lightly traced the contours of his mouth. He said what she had longed to hear, but with anguish. The surrender again. She wondered if it would ever be easier for him. "Then are you to marry me?"

The day would arrive soon when he'd have to answer that question, but not now, not today.

He said simply, "The question of marriage is one that a man asks, in his own time and at his own choosing."

Jade accepted this, content with his declaration of love. It was enough for her, enough for now. "But Victor"—she smiled—"what if a man seems to be taking a very long time about it?"

His gaze held fondness, and he smiled then too. "Just where did you learn to be so forward? I know it's not something they teach young ladies at the convent."

Jade laughed, but before she answered, he slipped apart from her. After looking over the clothes, he separated a green silk dress from the others.

"Do a poor man a favor and wear this for supper." And without another word, he handed her the dress and left.

Jade looked lovely in the new outfit. The green silk gown was perfectly simple. It accented and flattered her beauty, especially her eyes. The dress had a low neckline with short sleeves falling off her shoulders, a fashionable waistline and folds and folds of rich material. The gown might be worn at any gala, and thankfully, supper was a markedly formal affair at the country estate. The days might be spent barefoot, but for supper, everyone, even the men, wore formal attire.

Remarkably good with a brush, Tessie was wrapping Jade's long tresses in matching green ribbons, then lifting the locks into soft swirls for a crown. Mercedes watched at her side. Jade, distractedly, ran her hand over Mercedes' gown, attempting to get a picture of it in her mind.

"What do I look like? I mean, how would you describe me?"

Tessie winked at Mercedes. "Oh, you be plain as a pumpkin. I be just talkin' 'bout you to Chachie; I says my mistress, well, she be sweet as honey but my, I ain't never seen such a face as hers. Her eyes be rather too large and green, her lashes too long and dark, her nose too straight and her skin! Lord, that skin as soft and smooth as a baby's. That hair too, just too dark and shiny, too much and too long." Mercedes started laughing, and Tessie added, "And her lips, well, ain't a soul alive who deserves such a dark red color without addin' rose oil to 'em. Thank the Lord she's got that smile like a burst of sunshine after a week of rain to make up the difference."

'Tessie, you're impossible." "Yes, ma'am."

The men gathered on the patio waiting for the ladies, engaged in a heated debate over the congressional reenactment of the habeas corpus laws. Victor had been furious when Congress had suspended these essential laws, especially that the state had to prove a person guilty and he and his father had lobbied extensively to have them reenacted.

Presently he and Murray were trying to explain why this was so important to Sebastian.

Sebastian seemed unable to

grasp the principle; he had no difficulty distinguishing the good from the bad, the criminal from the law-abiding, and so it seemed to him any magistrate acting for the state could be expected to have the same common sense.

The last light of day stretched gold arms across the land, while the lingering warmth filled the early evening air. The flames of the festive lanterns and even the candles on the table hardly stirred. Mercedes guided Jade down, through the long hall and out onto the patio, presenting her like a personal creation.

Victor turned to confront her, took one long stare and turned away with what Murray thought was a look of total anguish. Sebastian, however, was already at their side, making each of them turn a pretty circle before complimenting first Jade, then Mercedes, and with all the flamboyance of which only he was capable. Murray needed no prodding to join Sebastian.

Oblivious to the stir she created, Jade was far more interested in showing Victor Wolf Dog's new trick. "You must see what he can do now," she said excitedly, calling the dog to her.

Victor turned back around. Murray knew his trouble intensified by merely looking at her, for Victor's expression seemed an exercise in conflicting emotions.

"Are you watching?"

"Yes."

After determining Wolf Dog was standing, Jade ordered the puppy to sit, and petted him affectionately when he complied. "He is the most wonderful puppy! Hamlet never learned as quickly as little Wolf Dog. Tomorrow, I shall start leash training."

Victor knelt down beside her. She was just so alive. Everything about her sparkled with a rare gift of enthusiasm; she showed excitement at every little thing life offered. How was it possible when she lived in a totally debilitating darkness? And dear God, what would she be like if she weren't blind?

"You are so beautiful."

"You like my dress?" she asked, misinterpreting his remark.

"Yes, Mercedes has done your beauty a great justice." Victor turned then to Mercedes. "And you, Mercedes, you look like a princess."

Mercedes smiled, then felt herself blushing. Victor's rare compliments affected one in a way no one else's could. That masculine charm of his, the way he tossed the simplest words like a casual shrug, almost as an afterthought, made one self-conscious and aware of his sincerity.

As the party sat down, Murray was admiring the way the green dress set off Jade's enchanting eyes. Jade leaned forward as she took her seat across from him, and as she came towards the candle, her pupils constricted.

What the devil was that?

He peered closer, seeing the unbelievable. For he was watching her pupils dilate as she receded into the chair.

He had never noticed before!

The doctor did not hear what Sebastian was saying, though everyone stopped talking as he leaned forward with the candle in his hand and moved it toward and away from Jade's eyes. Jade turned her face to the side in confusion, and reached her hand into the air, knocking the candle over. "What— What was that?"

"I was just holdin' a candle to your eyes, darlin'," he explained. "Did any of the doctors who examined you mention that your pupils dilate and constrict?"

Jade nodded slowly.

"But I thought you said you were completely blind, that you don't see any change of light?"

"No, I don't see any light or colors or anything. I wish I did, it would help a lot. Sometimes when I wake up, I can't tell if it's morning or not, and honestly, I can't tell you how many times I've gotten up and dressed, thinking it was close to morning, only to have to wait hours and hours."

No one noticed the doctor's confused distraction as he tried to reason this through. And while the dinner was served and he continued to dwell on this, his suspicions mounted, suspicions that led him to the first of many startling conclusions about Jade and the nature of her blindness. He'd send for those books tomorrow....

The nightmare was drawn by a truth much too painful to know in the light of a waking day. Victor stood above her, disgusted by her. He would have no more of a woman who could not see. She begged him, pleaded with him, frantically trying to show him all the things she could so without seeing. "It's no use, you're no use! You're useless, Jade Terese, pathetic, just like that woman said!"

She bolted up in bed.

Panicked, breathing hard and fast, she did not think. She parted the mosquito net and slipped from her bed, making her way through the dressing room and to Victor's chamber. He woke as she climbed onto the bed. He took one look at the tear-filled eyes, the lovely face changed with pain and fear. "Jade," he whispered. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I want to be with you.... I want you to love me."

Victor suffered no hesitation. There was no thought of his relief when Tessie had informed him that yes, Jade had a bleeding while he was away. There was no thought of his relief that very day when Sebastian and Mercedes had interrupted them. There was no thought of his vow never to take her to his bed again.

He could never deny her. He was vaguely aware some dream had frightened her, far more aware she sought a reassurance that he loved her. God knows he did love her; he would always love her. For their short time together, he could love her.

Jade felt his arms gently lay her on her back. His lips brushed the wetness from her cheeks.

Each kiss came with a tenderness that spoke to her emotions.

"Yes, Jade Terese," he whispered, slowly sliding the thin straps of her gown from her shoulders. "I will love you. Now and forever, I will love you."

Jade's emotions soared, and as she felt her gown removed, his hands come over her body, tears fell from her cheeks. He did love her! He would never turn his heart away because she could not see. It had been only a nightmare.

In the dark shadows of the night, love was spoken as never before. He kept passion to a slow pace, savoring a slow and sweet building of the momentum of her love. His hands barely touched her skin, yet he ignited every part of her. His kiss, like his touch, lit a warm fire until her body trembled and quivered with the first rise of those delicious flames. He caressed, then massaged, knowing exactly where his touch should dance lightly over her skin, where her desire begged for more, all the while, whispering words of love.

She felt those waves of rapture rise and build, gently washing over her as he parted her thighs and slowly entered her, letting her feel each burrowing inch of him joining her to him, forever and again.

He spun love and desire until like the promise of a cloudless dawn, a bright radiant sun burst inside her and she was soaring, soaring, unaware of his last thrust, unaware he held her collapsed body tight against his. She clung to him, breathless and humbled, barely able to feel her body beneath him.