Witchy Sour (The Magic & Mixology Mystery Series Book 2) (11 page)

She did some snapping with her fingers, and I jumped to attention.

“Uh...his name’s Gus?” I spoke extra loud, competing with the jangling bells dangling from her fingers.

“You sure about that?” she snapped.

“Yes?”

“Then why you askin’ me a question, sweetheart?” Glinda put something that looked like a crystal sphere on the table and waved one hand over it like she might a magic eight ball. “Gus who?”

“Gus… of the bungalow?”

“Sound a little confident. I know you’re new here and all, but ain’t you supposed to be the Mixologist?” Glinda closed her eyes. When I didn’t respond right away, she peeked underneath one eyelid. “Cat got your tongue?”

Startled, I shook my head. “Sorry, I thought you were concentrating. I
am
the Mixologist.”

“I can multi-task,” Glinda said. “Now tell me about this Gus.”

I looked to Ranger X, but he looked mildly amused more than anything else. “Uh, he’s medium-old, really crabby most of the time, and spends the majority of his time in the storeroom over at the bungalow.”

“Good,” Glinda said. “Except I sense you’re lying about something.”

My heart raced. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to lie. I don’t even know what I was lying about?”

“Let me tell you. If it’s the Gus I know, then he’s super-duper-ancient, old as dust, really. He’s crabby on a good day and vicious on a bad day, and he spends so much time in that storeroom I think he might’ve smoked too much of the fun weeds, if you know what I’m saying.”

I covered my mouth, but couldn’t help snorting at her description. When I pulled myself together, I caught the slight glimmer of satisfaction in her eye. “If you knew who Gus was already, why’d you ask me?”

“Just curious what you thought of him. Everyone knows Gus. He helped make a Pimple Popper that changed my life.”

I laughed again, surprised at how much I enjoyed the company of the strange, old witch. “You’re funny.”

“Not funny, I just speak the truth, sweetheart.” Glinda laid her fingers on top of the crystal ball and closed her eyes again, this time for a longer moment. The silliness disappeared, and her forehead crinkled and twitched in concentration. “Okay, I need a few minutes now. I sent the signal out.”

“How does that work?” I asked, taking a hesitant step forward.

“You’re from the mainland I hear, yeah?” She looked at me, waiting for an answer. When I nodded, she mimicked the gesture. “That’s what I thought. Another reason why I wanted to meet ya. I’m from there too. New York.”

“New York? Wow! I’ve never been.”

She shrugged. “Fine, I’m from Jersey. But it sounds better to say New York, and most of these munchkins don’t know the difference anyway. You’re the first person in years who’s called my bluff.”

I slid a sideways glance over at Ranger X to see how he liked being called a munchkin.

“He’s my munchkin, aren’t ya?” Glinda reached over to pinch Ranger X’s cheek, but the man was faster. He was on his feet with Glinda’s wrist in his hand before anyone could say Hocus Pocus. The threatening gesture didn’t scare Glinda. She leaned forward, winked, and cooed at him. “There’s my little munchkin.”

“I’ll turn you into toad droppings,” Ranger X said. “I’ve told you that before, and I’ll say it again.”

“He’s sensitive.” Glinda winked over her shoulder at me, even while she was still captive in Ranger X’s grasp. Their bodies were close. Too close. I worried X might snap her right in half. “It’s okay though. I think he’s just being extra manly because he’s got a crush on you and he wants to show off them muscles.”

At the same time I blushed, Ranger X lifted the tiny witch’s hand so high that her entire body came off the ground. He dangled her before him and looked her in the eye. Even now, she didn’t seem to mind.

In fact, she did a little shimmy and winked back at him. She winked so often I wondered if it was a nervous tick. “This is kinky.”

Ranger X let go of her wrist without warning. Glinda dropped to the floor, grabbing the table for balance as she looked around the room and brushed down her ragged tutu.

“Are you okay?” I rushed forward, giving Ranger X the evil eye. “Are you hurt?”

“Not even my pride,” Glinda said cheerily. “I swallowed that a long time ago, which is great because now I can say anything I want and not worry about lookin’ stupid!”

“That’s not a bad idea,” I said. “I kind of like it.”

“I do not,” Ranger X said. “A bit of a filter is never a bad thing, especially in a professional work environment.”

Glinda rolled her eyes at me. “They keep trying to run me out of the workforce. They say I don’t dress appropriately, can you believe it?” She reached down and played with the end of a few strings flapping around her waist. “They want me to dress in all black and wear pretty makeup and pin my hair back. Sorry, but that’s not me.”

“I like your style,” I said, searching for the right word. “It’s eccentric.”

“Exactly! They want my magic, they’re gonna have to deal with eccentricities.” Glinda twirled around. “Okay, that spell should be almost cooked. Are we ready to find Gus?”

I huddled over the ball with her while Ranger X watched from the back.

“You never did say how this works,” I said. “Is it a secret?”

“Not at all. Have you met a Forest Fairy?”

“No, not yet.”

“Good. You don’t want to meet one in the wild.” She looked up at me. “See, this magic ball is mostly glorified nonsense. But it’s the unique talent that got me a cushy job at Ranger HQ—”

“Are you a Ranger?” I asked. “Sorry to interrupt.”

She shook her head. “I’m a certified Emergency Contact Specialist. I got no desire to be a Ranger. I couldn’t wear my outfit!”

“I see. About the Forest Fairies?”

“They are teensy tiny creatures, about this big.” She held up two fingers hardly an inch apart. “Annoying little creatures. Tricky as can be, and mischievous. If you’re not lookin’, they’ll give you a wedgie, steal your lunch money, and whisper your deepest, darkest secrets to those you care most about.”

“They sound terrible.”

“They are,” she said. “In the wild. Until I came along, folks looked at them as pesky insects. At worst, they’d be squashed. At best, caged. They’re not fun when they’re running around loose, but that’s where I come in. The little buggers understand me.”

“You’re...you’re their leader or something?”

“I’m not one of ’em, never mix that up,” she said. “It’s impossible to fit in with another species entirely.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

“Lily, sometimes it’s not about fitting in. Sometimes it’s about leading without abandon. I train these Forest Fairies, and they listen to me.”

“Are they human?” I hesitated. “Well, not human, but...are they like us? As people?”

“You’re worried I’m being cruel?”

I bobbed my shoulders up and down. “I guess you could say that.”

“It’s not cruel at all. In fact, we have a pleasant arrangement. If the fairies work for me, they are allowed to use The Isle and move about freely. They mostly stay within the cover of the trees, but not always. Because of my work with the fairies, I’ve enacted a law to protect them. Currently, there’s a ban against catching fairies. It’s illegal to hold them captive, cage them, or otherwise detain one. That law never existed until I came around. They were treated in a bad way. So for most of them, our partnership was a relief.”

“Don’t they deserve their freedom regardless?”

“You weren’t here before,” Glinda said. “You have to understand that they wreaked absolute havoc on our society when they roamed free. Most of them were locked away in prison when I came around, and I worked out a deal to free them. In exchange, they run a few errands a week for me. It’s not a bad trade.”

“So they listen to only you?”

“She’s the only one sassy enough to talk back to them,” Ranger X grumbled. “They’re terrors. Horrible creatures.”

“And I love ’em.” Glinda gave a wide, cheesy smile. “In this crystal ball, I have a spell that I created with the help of fairy magic. It gives me the ability to speak to any specific fairy on my roster. They may be annoying creatures, but they can cover the circumference of the island in under a minute, and usually it takes less than ten seconds for my little army to locate a person.”

“Wow,” I said. “That’s impressive.”

“That’s why they pay me the big bucks,” Glinda chortled. “Right, X? Isn’t it about time for a raise?”

“Just find Gus,” Ranger X said. “Now.”

Glinda squeezed her eyes shut and turned back to the ball. Underneath her fingers, a picture started to appear as if a movie screen had popped up in the middle of the ball and begun to play. “That’s called fairy magic.”

I leaned in closer and watched the picture unfold. Gus, dressed in a nice suit, walked toward The Twist. As the image sharpened, it became clear that I was seeing him from the view of a fairy. Almost as if I were watching a home video recorded from a camera attached to the fairy’s head like a Go-Pro.

“Message,” a robotic voice said, filtering through the crystal ball. “Message from Glinda.”

Gus’s head jerked up onscreen, surprise scrawled across his face. He narrowed his eyes at the fairy. “Is that you, Glinda? What do you want? I’m busy!”

Glinda laughed and leaned into the ball. “Hi there, Gussie. Out on a date?”

Gus reached out and swatted the space in front of him. He was probably swatting at the fairy, but it looked like he’d aimed at us. “Leave me alone, Glinda. I’m busy tonight.”

“I’m with Lily.”

“Lily?” Gus’s eyes swiveled back toward the fairy, and I had the eerie sensation he was staring directly into my eyes. “Is she okay?”

Glinda nodded at me. “Go ahead, dear.”

“Gus, it’s me,” I said, still getting used to the setup. “You’ve got to be careful tonight. Where are you going?”

“I told you where I’m going,” he growled. “And I’m always careful.”

“You didn’t tell me where you were going,” I said. “I assumed you were meeting Mimsey, but you never confirmed it.”

“Well, you figured right.”

“It’s nothing to be so secretive about!”

“Did you call to ask about my dating life?”

“No, I’m at Ranger HQ—”

“How’d you get inside?”

“Visiting Poppy,” I said. “Anyway, Ranger X and I were talking.”

“Is that all you were doin’?” Gus asked. “I don’t interrupt you during your private time.”

I made a disgruntled noise in my throat.

“You bother me about my dating life, I’ll bother you about yours,” Gus said. “Not that I care about it or anything. But if you start slacking in your work because you’re a lovestruck were-pup, I’ll start caring a whole lot more.”

“You’re the only person who knows the contents of
The Magic of Mixology
,” I said, ignoring the whole bit about my dating life. X was not part of my dating life. He never had been, and he never could be. Plus, I really didn’t want to get into things in front of Glinda. “Ranger X was telling me the case will likely stay open a long time, so I’ll continue to need your help.”

“It’s already been open a long time.”

“Well, it might be a lot longer time,” I said. “Without you, I’d be lost. The Isle would be in trouble.”

“Then don’t get rid of me,” Gus said. “What’s the problem?”

“We need you to be safe,” I said. “We can’t risk anything happening to you.”

Ranger X waved a hand. “May I?”

I nodded and stepped back, giving him control.

“Gus, it’s X. I want to be clear. You can handle yourself, we don’t doubt it. Let me give you a Companion for a few days.”

“A Companion?” I asked, at the same time Gus said, “No!”

“A Companion is a shape-shifter,” Glinda whispered to me. “They don’t use any other forms of magic, so they’re virtually undetectable. A dog, a grasshopper, you name it. We have a small fleet of Companions that serve as security detail to high-risk targets.”

“I refuse,” Gus said. “I can refuse a Companion at any time. It’s my right. This conversation is over.”

With that, the video went blank.

“Can we get him back?” I asked. “Maybe I can try to talk some sense into him.”

“This Forest Fairy is tired. It takes a lot of work to transmit a signal, plus Gus swatted at the poor thing,” Glinda said. “If you want another, I can send one. But if you want my advice, I’d say let Gus have his date tonight, and in the morning you can talk to him when he’s fresh and happy.”

“Gus is never happy,” I said. “Or fresh.”

“Well...less crabby,” she said. “Who knows? Maybe if his night goes well enough with Mimsey, he’ll actually be happy.”

I closed my eyes. “Ew. I prefer not to have the imagery.”

Glinda laughed. “I’m off, unless you two need anything else?”

X shook his head. “Gus is almost to The Twist. Once he’s there, he’ll be fine.”

The Twist, an enchanted labyrinth, was the master plan and life’s work of my grandmother. Nobody was allowed in, and nobody was allowed out. The only way through the maze was with a person who had West Isle Witch blood. If Mimsey led Gus through The Twist, nobody else would be able to follow without getting so irreparably lost, they’d be stuck there until they were set free by one of my aunts.

“The Twist. That Hettie is a genius,” Glinda said. “I always did like her. Us weirdos gotta stick together. You, me, and your Gran. Well, I’m off. It’s been fun. Toodles.”

With a flap of her skirt, she disappeared from the room. I turned to Ranger X. “I’m not that weird, am I?”

He didn’t answer.

I poked him in the shoulder. “You consider me to be in the same league of weird as my grandmother and Glinda?”

His stony expression spoke volumes.

I fought a smile. “Do you need anything else from me? Speaking of my grandmother, I should really find my family and herd them home.”

“Do you have plans tonight?” Ranger X blurted. “For dinner. Just dinner, I mean.”

My hands twisted in front of my body. “X…”

“Never mind.” He waved a hand. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“It’s not that. It’s just… I am busy. I have plans tonight.”

His eyebrows knitted together. “With your cousins?”

“Sort of.”