Authors: Lena Coakley
“I brought you some tea.”
Mabis smiled and made a wide gesture with her arms, as if she had an audience for her story, as if invisible children were sitting on the dirt floor of the sleeping room. “Not being able to speak taught Aayse about the great silences.”
“Mabis.” Ryder sat down on the edge of the bed. He needed to get her to eat; she was getting thinner by the day.
His mother blinked her eyes. “You never call me Maba anymore.”
It was true. Ryder had invented the name when he was littleâa cross between Mabis and Maâbut at some point
both he and Skyla had stopped using it, though he couldn't have said when.
His mother took the cup and inhaled the steam. “Mallon leaves, nice and sweet.” But she held the tea in her lap and didn't drink. Ryder saw that the inner parts of her lips were black.
“Oh, Mabis, not again.”
His mother looked at him blankly. She no longer used telling the future as an excuse for taking the flower. More often than not, she offered no excuse at all.
Ryder still couldn't guess where she got the maiden's woe. It appeared from nowhere. When he checked the riverbank it was always empty, and Mabis could slip away like a shadow when his back was turned, with only an occasional wet footprint or damp sleeve to prove she'd been gone.
“What happened to your will?” he asked softly.
Her eyes drifted back to him. “It lasted as long as I needed it.”
“You know that every time you take the flower it makes it worse. It will just be harder for you when the chilling comes.”
His mother settled back against the wooden bed frame, the tea forgotten. “Don't scold.”
Ryder smelled the maiden's woe on her breath. Sometimes he thought the sickly sweet aroma was seeping
out of her pores. He knew from her lips that she must have eaten the flower that morning, but it didn't seem to affect her as it used to. Often her lips would be black but her eyes would be lucid and clear; other times she would rave like a madwoman.
“I've been thinking about your father,” Mabis said. “It's been such a quiet year without his stories.”
“I know.” Ryder had never liked hearing Fa tell “The Life of Aata and Aayse,” the story Mabis had been reciting. It reminded Ryder of the gulf between them: Fa believed it and Ryder didn't. Now he found he missed hearing all his father's tales, even that one. “If I made you some honey-cakes, would you eat them?”
“He knew the Goddess and her prophets better than any of those coven witchesâfor all their talk.”
“I could open a pot of sourberries.”
“Fish,” she said. “I'd eat a fish.”
“It's the wrong time of year.”
Mabis shrugged. She put her tea aside and brought her knees up to her chest, brown feet showing below her patched nightdress. “Fish or nothing.” She smiled, and her voice took on a singsong tone again:
“We live between the two great silences: the silence that existed before the world began, and the silence that waits for us at the end of all things. The prophet Aayse understood these silences. They are where all magic
comes from. They are the fabric the Goddess used to make the world.”
Mabis paused, then frowned. “I can almost believe it,” she said. “But not quite. Once I did.” She hugged her knees tighter. “I used to believe in Aata and Aayse. I used to believe that the Goddess made me and made the world and would gather me into her arms when I died. I just can't anymore.”
“Why would you even want to?”
Mabis looked up, surprised by the question, and her voice cracked with emotion when she spoke. “Because I want to see your father again.”
Ryder felt a lump in his throat, as if he'd swallowed a stone. As he watched, his mother's face twisted, and her eyes grew shiny with tears.
“Don't,” he said. “Don't think about it.” A tear rolled down her cheek. Ryder sat frozen beside her, not knowing what to say, uncomfortable in the silence.
“Oh, Ryder, what have I done? Your father broke his youth trying to plow this land. I might as well have fed him poison with a spoon.”
“Stop,” he said softly, putting a hand over hers. “Please stop. That wasn't your fault. He loved it here. He loved this farm.”
Tears continued to roll down her cheeks. “He always said the soil was too rocky here for hicca, but . . . I couldn't
live in the valley. I thought I was giving up the coven, but I only half gave it up. I kept my bones. I lived between the witches and the village, halfway up the mountain and halfway down. . . .”
She wiped her messy face with the sleeve of her nightdress and smiled sheepishly, as if part of her knew that she wasn't the kind of person who suddenly burst into tears. A feeling of helplessness welled up inside Ryder, and he struggled to push it back down. He should be on a ship right now, he thought, exploring distant countries, not watching his mother fall apart, not watching her get thinner and thinner with nothing to be done. Ryder had gained nothing by staying home and giving up his dreams, nothing at all.
“Mabis, why did you leave the coven?” he asked. He put the cup of tea back into her hand as if it held some cure for her sorrow.
“I lost my faith. I've told you that.”
“But why?”
“Oh . . .” Mabis twisted the wooden cup, sloshing tea onto her nightdress. “I saw something. Something I wasn't supposed to see. Something . . . I was going to say horrible, but it wasn't really. Something I couldn't understand. There are secrets in the coven, Ryder. Secrets valley people could never guess. Secrets even many of the witches don't know.” She sighed. “I wish I could talk to my sister. When I made the firecall, I was sure that Lilla would come.”
Ryder put his hand over hers to stop the tea from spilling. “Mabis, you know that Lilla Red Bird is dead.”
His mother nodded. “Dead and buried.” He was relieved by the finality of her words. It was one thing to want to see her husband again, another to forget that someone had been dead for twenty years. “Still, I hoped she would come. I so wanted to talk to her. There are things I need to ask.”
Ryder looked away. He was so tired. How much more of Mabis's ravings could he put up with? “I'll make the honeycakes now.”
“No. Not honeycakes. Too sweet.”
“Bread, then.”
“No,” said Mabis firmly. “Fish.”
“You don't even like fish. And my nets aren't mended. You'd eat some breadâI know you would.” He rose to go.
As he was pushing aside the red curtain, Mabis called him back. “What is it like to have a Baen in your head?”
Ryder stopped short. “What?” It was such a strange thing for her to say, and yet . . . for some reason he couldn't brush the words aside as more of his mother's ramblings.
“You hear him in your dreams, don't you?” she asked, as if the idea both fascinated and repelled her. “Is he telling you to murder people? Is he telling you to worship his disgusting gods?”
“Who?” Ryder's mind spun.
“Your friend,” said Mabis. “The stranger in the mountains.
The Baen in the mountains.” A Baen in the mountains. In Ryder's mind something slipped into place, something fit together like a key turning in a lock.
Hello? Is someone there?
“Those people killed your grandfather, you know. At Barbiza. Just because he wore red.” She said it like an accusation, as if he could somehow be responsible for something that had happened before he was born.
“I thought it was monsters you believed in now,” Ryder said carefully. “You haven't talked about assassins in the mountains since before the witches came.”
Mabis drew herself up haughtily. “One prophecy doesn't cancel out another. I foresee many things: assassins, dreadhounds . . .” Her voice grew graver as she spoke. “Monsters. Bonfires burning black.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “But I don't need any gift of prophecy to see that Baen. He's burrowed into your head like a needleworm.”
A great shiver coursed through him. The possibility that a Baen might be in his head, giving him nightmares, made him feel like he needed to bathe in the river.
“I don't think the blackhairs can help doing it,” she went on. “It used to happen every once in a while when the two races lived togetherâsomeone would start having dreams, usually a young witch or someone like you, someone born to magic.”
“Born to . . . ?”
“He is my punishment, this Baen. My punishment for robbing you of what you are. It's funny. I worked so hard to make sure the witches didn't get you. But magic found you just the sameâjust not the magic I was worried about.” She pulled the threadbare blanket around her shoulders.
Ryder shook himself, as if he could shake off the strange inkling that some of what she was telling him might be true.
“No. There is no Baen in my head. And I'm not âborn to magic,' of all things.” But he couldn't help remembering what Kef had said, that Lilla Red Bird had made a prophecy about him once.
“Oh, there's not much time!” she said, sounding suddenly desperate. She got out of bed with the blanket still wrapped around her and began to pace the tiny room. “There's not much time to make you understand. Somehow I always knew I'd lose Skylaâbut you I tried to keep. It's rare, the gift of magic. The witches hide how rare it really is, but you have it, just like my sister did.”
“I don't believe you!” Ryder cried out. “It's the maiden's woe that's making you say these things. . . .”
“Ryder, Ryder. Please try to understand! Part of the reason I wanted to keep you from magic is because I saw what it did to my sister. Lilla saw too much, and the war, it shattered her. No one talks about that when they tell stories about Lilla Red Bird, the great warrior witch; no one talks
about what she had to become. I just wanted to keep you safe.”
“I can't listen to you anymoreâthere are things to be done.”
“Ryder, please,” she began. She reached out a hand as if to catch his sleeve, but then she stopped herself and sat back down on the bed. “Yes.” The troubled look on his mother's face abruptly disappeared, and she smiled warmly up at him with stained teeth. “Things to do. Like catching my fish.”
Ryder made a fist in frustration, struggling to keep his voice calm. “I told you. My nets aren't mendedâ”
“That's too bad,” Mabis interrupted with a sigh. She settled herself back onto the bed and leaned against the headboard. “Because I know a secret way to get upriver. And upriver is where the fish are lazy and easy to catch.”
Ryder froze. Upriver. Where the maiden's woe came from.
“I'll tell you all about it,” she went on. “But in return, you have to promise to catch me a nice, plump fish.”
Ryder tried to keep his face placid, but he could feel the smile curling at the corner of his lips. “I guess you win,” he said. “Fish it is.”
A sandbar. It was so simple. A sandbar split the river down its center. It was covered with water, of courseâthat was
why Ryder and Skyla had never noticed it beforeâbut once he knew it was there, Ryder could see the ripples parting around it, could see that the water wasn't so dark where it was. He had only to wade into the river at a shallow point, then follow the length of the sandbar upstream. Places that would have taken half a day to reach by landâby hacking a path out of thick underbrush or climbing over slippery rocksâRyder could get to in almost no time at all. He saw parts of the riverbank he had never seen before.
Maiden's woe was everywhere. Every time he saw some, he had to leave the bar and wade to the bank, and the river was bitterly cold. Still, Ryder plunged his hands into the icy water with relish. The plants needed water, and it was satisfying to see how quickly they began to shrivel in the sun after he'd pulled them up and tossed them out onto the shore. He tried to push aside the feeling that it was too late, that his mother had taken so many of the flowers that keeping her away from them now might even hasten her death. She was Mabis. Her willâand hisâwould keep her alive. For the rest of the morning, he attacked the black trumpets like a soldier killing his enemies.
It was when the sun was high in the sky that he began to hear it. A sound. An evil soundâand it seemed to be coming from just up ahead.
Metal scraping stone
âwhere had he heard that phrase before? In a flash it came to him: It was how Dassen had described the singing of the Baen
right before the attack on Barbiza. Some Baen magician must have crossed the border! Cursing, Ryder took off along the sandbar at full speed, his waterlogged shoes slapping the water as he ran.
Abruptly the song stopped.
Hush-sh-sh. Hush-sh-sh.
There was another sound in his ears now. It was like a great forest of dry leaves rattling in the wind. A waterfall, he thought; it must be huge. But turning a bend in the river, he found that the falls were smaller and farther away than he had imagined. A thin stream of water tumbled over a rocky wall and into a green lake thick with maiden's woe. The rock wall hugged the edge of the water and amplified the sound of the falls.
Hush-sh-sh. Hush-sh-sh.
“I know you're here, Baen!” Ryder shouted. His voice echoed with the sound of the water. He waded to shore as quickly as he could, then ran around the sandy edge of the lake toward the waterfall.
No one. There was no one. If a Baen had been here, he must have melted into the rocks. Ryder turned a circle where he stood, spray from the waterfall wetting his face. He was alone. And yet he had the oddest feeling that someone had just been there, disturbing this peaceful place.
There was a small rocky outcropping in the center of the lake, with a bridge of haphazardly placed stones leading out to it. Thinking it might be the best way to see
the whole panorama of the shore, he ran back and hopped from stone to stone toward the slippery little island. When he got there, he looked up and down the sandy bank of the lake, but there was nothing to see.