Wish Upon a Wedding (20 page)

“Can I please come up for a minute so we can figure this out? I don't want to do this in the truck.”

“Okay,” she finally softly agreed.

Dread made his footsteps feel heavy against the pavement. He opened the passenger door and assisted her down but instead of playfully falling against him like she usually did, she held herself away. He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss away whatever was bothering her. She did take his offered hand and he felt a slight tremble as his heart pounded with slow dread. Whatever she was going to say wasn't going to be good. He could feel it hanging heavy in the air between them.

Instead of kissing in the elevator like they were prone to do, Sophia kept her eyes on the numbers. Avery's mind raced and he braced himself for whatever she was going to tell him. The abnormal silence felt thick and unnatural. He wanted to hear her laughter, see her sweet smile.

Once they were inside her apartment she walked over to the fridge and pulled out two bottles of water. “Want one?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Avery nodded, thinking he could use something stronger but went over to sit down on the sofa. Sophia sat in a chair and unscrewed the cap on her water bottle. After taking a sip she inhaled a deep breath. She played with the cap, screwing and unscrewing as if the action helped her gather her thoughts.

“Sophia, please just tell me what's on your mind.”

She went still for a long, agonizing moment. “Ashley confessed to me that she cheated on you with a Cougar baseball player.”

Avery's pulse quickened and he sat there stunned, not knowing what to say. “She . . . she did?” What the hell!

Sophia nodded. “She also told me that you said that she was the love of your life.” She looked at his face as if searching for answers.

“Of course, I did, Sophia. I proposed to her—remember?”

“Yes, I remember.” She took another swallow of her water. “She said that you still love her but that you simply can't forgive her. And that I would forever be your second choice.”

Avery felt a scorching flash of anger at Ashley and bit back an oath. “That's complete nonsense.”

“Is it?” Sophia frowned and started playing with the cap again.

“Yes! Sophia, I enjoy being with you more than I ever did with Ashley. You're everything she isn't.” With his heart pounding he shoved his fingers through his hair. “And that's a good thing.”

“But don't you see?”

“See what?”

“You might
like me
more than you do Ashley. She might drive you crazy with her selfish ways but that doesn't mean that you don't still love her. Let's face it, if she hadn't cheated you'd be married by now, right?”

“But she did cheat!” Avery said hotly, and then it hit him hard what Sophia was getting at.

“Maybe you should just dig deep and find a way to forgive her. Then you could go back to the four of you hanging out like old times. She made a mistake, Avery. People do. She said it was meaningless.”

“Well, it sure meant something to me. She slept with another man while she had my ring on her finger. That's not a mistake,” he answered, while trying to tamp down his anger. It wasn't fair to Sophia for him to lose it. “Sophia, why in the world are you defending her? I don't get it.”

Sophia was silent for a moment. She looked at him with troubled eyes and finally said, “I'm not defending her. What she did to you was horrible. But unforgivable? I don't know.”

“Yes, it is unforgivable. How could I ever trust her again? Trust is the foundation of any relationship.”

“And so is love.”

Avery wondered where she was going with this but
it felt like a runaway train and he didn't know how to stop the momentum. “Of course. But you can't have one without the other.”

Sophia played with the cap again so Avery knew there was more to come. “But Avery . . .” She swallowed hard, licked her bottom lip, and then finally said, “You've never told me that you love me.”

For a second, her statement actually took him by surprise. “I . . . I haven't?” he asked, but he knew he hadn't and that was such a stupid reaction. He'd meant to,
wanted to
, but he supposed there'd been that lingering fear of saying those three little words that gave the other person so much power to inflict pain.

“No,” she answered softly. “I think I would have remembered that little fact.”

“Sophia, I—”

“Please don't say it now,” she pleaded, her words trembling on her tongue.

“But—”

“I think we should”—she inhaled a breath—“stop seeing each other.”

The runaway train picked up speed. “Sophia, no!”

“You need to take a step back and figure out where your heart is. Maybe search for forgiveness.”

“I know where my heart is!” He held her gaze for a moment but she looked down at the floor as if studying the design of the carpet. “Sophia, my heart belongs to you and only you.”

“I know that you want it to be so, but you have to take a step back, examine your feelings, and make sure.”

“I don't want to take any steps back. Sophia, please don't do this.”

“We have to.” He could hear the anguish in her voice. “You know, I think that if we had simply started dating and not begun with the whole pretend thing, I would feel better about . . . us. But this started out
being about Ashley. Tonight was about Ashley. I need to feel like . . . like this is about . . . me.”

Avery squeezed his bottle of water so hard that the plastic crackled. “Sophia, I should have never made that damned promise to her! If I hadn't—”

“No,” she interrupted. “You made the promise to protect her reputation and to save your sister the hurtful truth, but maybe there's more to it than you realize.”

“What do you mean?” He shook his head, unable to believe this was happening.

“If nobody knew what she did to you then you could go back to her without risking your pride.”

“No, I won't give you that. Sophia, you're reading more into this than what's there. You're overthinking this. It's your worry gene, remember?” he asked hopefully.

“Oh, Avery, it's more than just being worried.”

He shoved his fingers through his hair feeling a wave of panic wash over him. “You're not really being fair to me. You said earlier not to play into her hands so why are you letting her win?”

“This isn't about winning or losing. And it's not fair to either of us. Maybe after the wedding . . . when all of this is behind you . . . maybe then we can . . . start fresh? When you have this all figured out.”

“Sophia, no! There's nothing to figure out. I want you at the wedding with me.” Avery patted his chest so hard that it hurt. “This is crazy. Look, I should have never asked you to come tonight. I knew she would pull something. But I couldn't have predicted . . .
this
.”

Sophia closed her eyes for a moment, pressed her lips together, and then looked at him. Tears were shining in her eyes and he wanted to gather her into his arms. “Don't you see? It's still all about Ashley. Even right now.”

“Then let's not allow tonight or any other night be
about her ever again.” Avery wanted to stand up, pull Sophia to her feet and into his arms but he was suddenly afraid that she'd push him away and he wouldn't be able to handle her rejection. “Sophia, she pulled out all of the stops tonight. I should have put her in her place from the very beginning. And I should have refused to change the date for the bachelor party.”

“You tried, Avery. She seems to always get her way and I suppose old habits die hard.”

“I'm so sorry. I feel as if I've let you down. No, I did let you down.” He leaned forward and rested his hands on his knees. “Sophia . . . can't we try to talk this out? If we break up this will be exactly what she wanted.”

“I don't care what Ashley wants. This is about what I want.”

“So then what do you want from me?”

“To be sure.”

“I am sure.” And he was sure but he didn't know how to convince Sophia. “God, I don't want to go . . . to leave things like this. I should have told you how I feel about you sooner.”

“Avery, there had to be a reason for you to hold back,” she said quietly, sadly. “Let's just give this some time.”

Avery nodded because he didn't know what else to do. He was losing his composure. His heart raced. His chest felt heavy and bruised. He wondered if this was what a panic attack felt like. But he didn't want to lose it in front of Sophia. After all he'd put her through tonight, he didn't want her to see him break down. “Okay,” he finally said. “I don't want to leave but if you want me to, I guess I will.” He looked at her, hoping she would let him stay. He just wanted to go to bed and hold her. Surely if he held her in his arms she would feel his love for her seep into her body.

Sophia's lips trembled. She inhaled a shaky breath. “I don't
want
you to go, Avery, but I need you to. I have to sort all of this out and so do you.”

Avery held her gaze for a moment longer, giving her time to change her mind but she remained silent. She looked ready to crumble as well so how could this be the right thing to do? “Okay,” he finally managed. “But if you want me . . .
need me
to come back I'm just a phone call away. I will come over no matter what time it is. Please promise me.”

“I promise.” She gave him a slow, sad nod. When she swallowed hard he knew she was on the verge of tears. How could he leave her? He saw a flash of indecision but she quickly hid it by taking a sip of water.

“Sophia . . .”

“I'll be fine.”

“Call Grace, your mom, or Carrie Ann.” Or let me stay.

“Avery, really. I'll be okay. I'm a big girl, remember?” she asked and the tremble in her voice clawed at his heart.

Avery shoved his fingers through his hair but reluctantly nodded. He wanted so much to tell her that he loved her and almost did but felt like it would be another mistake.

And so he pushed up to his feet and walked out the door.

Hope Floats

“S
ophia, sweet pea, if your face gets any longer your chin is gonna drag along the floor.” Carrie Ann shot a concerned look Sophia's way while hanging bridal veils on a vintage hat rack.

White Lace and Promises looked absolutely stunning and she wished that Sophia could enjoy the fruits of her labor. With open house only two days away, her young friend should be over the moon instead of walking around with a glum face and a heavy heart.

Sophia glanced up from her laptop. “I'm okay, Carrie Ann.”

“Then you don't know the definition of okay.”

“I'm as okay as I can be.”

“Which isn't okay at all, I'm afraid. Why don't you do yourself a favor and answer one of Avery's calls or at least send the boy a text message. Just give him a little crumb of hope. And don't you dare tell me there isn't hope for you two.”

Sophia shook her head. “Avery needs to address his feelings for Ashley.”

“Oh, sweetheart, the boy adores you. Easton said that Avery's been a hot mess ever since you two split up.”

“We haven't exactly split up. We just need some time apart.” She looked back down at whatever she'd been working on for the past hour.

“And just what will time away from each other accomplish except for both of you two being miserable?”

Sophia looked up from her laptop once more. “Please don't make me feel guilty.”

Carrie Ann fluffed up the veil, and then fisted her hands on her hips. “I'm not laying a guilt trip on you, girlie. I just want you to face the truth.” Carrie Ann walked over and squeezed Sophia's shoulder. “I know that love is as scary as walking into a spiderweb. You feel all trapped and try to escape and fly into a complete panic when there's really not any danger. Sophia, I have to say that you're overreacting.”

“I can't help it.”

“Oh, honey, you're speaking to the poster child for being scared of being in love. But you're so much better for Avery than Ashley ever could be. You've met her so you must know that he's so much better off with you.”

“But it isn't just about that, don't you see? In a lot of ways my grounded, business-minded father was better for my mom than rocker Rick Ruleman, but they lacked . . . passion. I think she loved both of them in different ways but it wasn't until Jimmy that she found the right combination of love, commitment, and that certain special something. You have to have the whole package. Like you found with Easton.”

“And you don't think that you and Avery have chemistry? I sure see it with you two. You were friends first just like Easton and me. Love that blossoms from friendship is something special. I just think you let that piece of work get under your skin just like she wanted to do.”

“I know what you're saying.” Sophia shrugged. “But Avery obviously fell for her. I mean he asked her to marry him for pity's sake. Some guys go for prissy women.”

“I agree and I just don't get it. Just like some women continually fall for bad boys.”

“Maybe it's the challenge or something but I've seen it before. My mother says I can be too nice, sometimes. Maybe nice is just simply boring.”

“Oh, would you just stop that! You are anything but boring. Being nice is a good thing. You know some women think they're all that and a bag of chips and are somehow able to convince others the same thing. But friendship is a solid basis for a lasting relationship, not being uppity and prissy and just plain vain.”

Sophia nodded but didn't appear convinced.

“You know, Ashley was Avery's high school sweetheart and boys at that age don't go beneath the surface. Physical attraction can be mistaken for love.”

“They've been together that long? I didn't realize . . .”

“Yeah well, I bet if he'd met Ashley Montgomery now he wouldn't have gone past one date.”

Sophia tilted her head. “Really? That's an interesting thought, but I don't know. She still can get to him. It makes me wonder if he will ever completely get over her.”

“What makes you think Avery's not over her? Sophia, they broke up for a reason. A solid reason.”

“Yeah . . .”

Carrie Ann peered at her closely. “Wait, do you know why? Because the rest of us sure as heck don't. Avery's always been closemouthed about it and I respected his privacy but I've always felt that there had to be something serious happen for them to suddenly break up so close to the wedding.”

Sophia went very still, and then nodded. “I know why.”

“Well, hell's bells, are you going to enlighten me?”
Carrie Ann could tell that Sophia wanted to confide in her and so she pressed the issue. “You know without a doubt that whatever you say to me will go nowhere. I won't even tell Easton.”

“Oh, I don't know . . . It was Ashley who told me and—”

“What? Are you kiddin' me?”

“I wish.”

“Did you promise not to say anything?”

“No, but she said that if anyone finds out her little secret that Avery will know it came from me and he will be really pissed.”

“Oh, issuing threats, is she?” Carrie Ann felt a hot flash of anger.

“Yeah, and she's really good at it.”

“Sophia, you trust me, right?”

“Absolutely,” Sophia replied, but just as she started to say something Carrie Ann's phone pinged. “Go ahead and get that.”

“Saved by the bell?” Carrie Ann was about to ignore the text message but when she looked down her blood ran cold. “Oh . . . oh my God!” She put a hand to her chest and thought she might pass out.

“Carrie Ann, what is it?”

“It's Easton. He's in the ER with chest pains! Oh, Sophia, what if he's having a heart attack?” Her own heart danced around in her chest and she felt as if she was hyperventilating. “Oh, God, I can't breathe!”

“Try to stay calm.” Sophia jumped up from her desk and grabbed her purse. “Let's get over there right now.”

“Can . . . can you drive? My hands are shaking like a leaf.”

“Sure, come on!”

Less than fifteen minutes later they were standing in the brightly lit emergency room. They quickly learned that Easton had been taken back for tests and it was driving Carrie Ann crazy not knowing what was going on.

“Why aren't they telling us anything?” she asked. “Do you think that's a bad sign?” She was seriously considering busting through the double doors and going looking for him, hospital rules be damned.

“They must not know anything yet. Go and sit down. I'll get you something cold to drink. Preference?”

“A Coke, I guess.” And a double shot of bourbon would be nice right about now.

“Coming right up.”

“Thank you, sweetie.” A couple of minutes later Carrie Ann accepted the cold Coke that Sophia pressed into her hand. She popped the tab and absently took a small swig. Icy fingers of fear slid down her spine and made her insides tremble. She should have probably opted for coffee but the machine was one of those where the paper cup filled with steaming coffee that tasted like pine tar.

“I'm sure it won't be long now. I'm going to make a quick run to the bathroom. I'll be right back.”

“Okay, sweetie.” Carrie Ann nodded and tried to calm down but fear felt like a living, breathing thing inside her body. The antiseptic smell of the hospital made her stomach churn. She pictured Easton in a small white bed with tubes everywhere and machines blinking and beeping just like when she had to go in and see her father for the very last time. Her sisters had been too young to go and her mother had said that she didn't have to go but Carrie Ann had done it in spite of her fear, thinking that if she could just talk to him that she could give her father the strength to wake up. She felt certain that she could will him back to life.

But fifteen-year-old Carrie Ann hadn't been prepared for the sight of her father in the hospital bed. He'd been deathly pale and bloated and didn't resemble anything like her robust, smiling dad who never failed to crack a joke. God, he'd been so small, so frail, and so utterly helpless.

Oh, how she wished she'd had the chance to hear his voice just one last time and above all else to tell him that she loved him. “I love you, Daddy. Please don't leave us.” She'd whispered it to him, but was too afraid to touch him. Her mama had leaned over and had given him a kiss and brushed his hair back from his forehead but Carrie Ann had been too scared and had later felt guilty that she hadn't kissed her father good-bye.

What if Easton died too? The thought paralyzed her with mind-numbing fear.

Waiting was driving her insane with worry but if the doctor came out and said she could go back and see Easton, she wondered if her feet would obey. What if Easton looked small and helpless? Carrie Ann suddenly had the almost uncontrollable urge to flee right out the revolving door. She didn't know where she'd even run to . . . She just would keep running and running until her legs gave out.

Feeling nauseous, Carrie Ann swallowed hard. She looked at the red
EXIT
sign and gripped the metal arms of the stiff orange vinyl chair. Why in the world were hospitals always decorated dull orange and muddy brown? And what was with the speckled floor?

A moment later Sophia walked her way and after taking a look at what had to be her stricken face said, “Carrie Ann, are you okay?” She rushed over and sat in the chair next to her. “Stupid question. Is there something I can get you? Crackers?”

Carrie Ann patted Sophia's hand. “No, honey, I don't think I could choke them down. But thanks.” In an effort to curb her panic she picked up a magazine from a scattered, ratty pile. “This
People
magazine is from last summer. Can you believe that?” She tossed it down. “Oh, Sophia, this is driving me out of my mind.”

“I know,” Sophia said in a small voice. She reached over and took Carrie Ann's hand. “Easton is a big, strong man. He'll be fine.”

Carrie Ann tried to smile but couldn't muster one up. Instead, she grimaced and nearly broke down. “That's what I thought about my father,” she said gruffly. Now she remembered why she steered away from puppies and relationships. Getting attached meant getting hurt. She wondered who just groaned and realized that it was her.

“Oh, Carrie Ann, I'm so sorry you're going through this. But there is so much they can do these days. I'm sure Easton is in good hands. And I know everything I'm saying sounds so trite and lame so I'll shut up now.”

“Oh, sweetie, no, I'm so glad you're here with me. You've become so special to me.” She patted Sophia's hand that felt warm beneath her ice-cold fingers.

“I feel the same way,” Sophia said with a smile that trembled slightly.

Carrie Ann took another sip of the Coke hoping it might settle her stomach. Fizz tickled her nose and she coughed when the swallow she took went down wrong way.

“Are you okay?”

Carrie Ann held up her hand and nodded. “Went down the wrong pipe.” She cleared her throat and then waved a hand through the air. “Although I could never understand that saying since there really is only one pipe.” She reached up and touched her neck. “When I was a kid I thought there were two.” And when she was a kid she thought her dad would live to be old and gray.

“And I believed in unicorns,” Sophia said.

“What, you mean there really aren't unicorns?” Carrie Ann asked with widened eyes making Sophia chuckle. She inhaled a deep breath trying to get a grip and to not let her imagination conjure up the worst but she failed miserably. She handed Sophia a copy of
Good Housekeeping
. “Only four months old.”

“What, no
Cosmopolitan
?”

“If there was it would probably go back to the Burt
Reynolds centerfold. And you probably have no idea what I'm talking about.”

“Burt Reynolds naked?” Sophia shuddered. “Ew.”

“Oh, forty years ago he was what we used to call a hunk. Three pages of chest hair on a bear rug. If I remember, and I do, he was smoking.”

“The full monty?”

“His arm was strategically placed over his package, but for the time, it caused quite a stir.”

“Yeah, my mother's one-piece swimsuit pose was considered super sexy.”

“My, how times have changed.”

“Yeah, now we have
Magic Mike
on the big screen.” Sophia chuckled but accepted the old magazine and started to thumb through it.

Carrie Ann leaned back in the chair and looked up at the clock. They'd been there for only about an hour but it felt like a damned lifetime. Oh boy . . . how much longer?

Carrie Ann closed her eyes and tried to slow down her racing pulse. She hated this feeling of helplessness. A cold ball of fear settled in her stomach and refused to budge.

What in the hell was she doing getting married? She'd avoided this kind of mind-numbing fear all of her life and now here she was sitting in a hospital waiting room feeling like she needed to pass out or throw up or maybe both. In that moment, she made the decision that she was going to call the engagement off. She reached over and squeezed Sophia's hand suddenly knowing now why her young friend was afraid to continue her relationship with Avery. “Love is just so damn scary,” she whispered.

“Tell me about it,” Sophia answered and squeezed back.

“So now what are we gonna do?”

“I dunno.” Sophia shrugged. “Run off somewhere where no one will ever find us?”

“Sounds like a good plan to me,” Carrie Ann said with a mirthless chuckle. “Think we can find a deserted island somewhere?”

“We can look on Craigslist. Find one cheap.”

Carrie Ann managed a halfhearted chuckle. “And hang out with Captain Jack Sparrow and drink lots of rum?”

“The plan keeps getting better.”