Wish Come True (The Blogger Diaries Trilogy Book 3) (2 page)

“Have you talked to your parents about this?”

“Oh yeah, my mom is all for it. She never wanted me to quit school to take this job, so she’s ecstatic over the possibility,” he replies, as I take a sip of Gatorade.

“What does your dad say?”
 

“He had a good idea, actually. Instead of going for a four-year degree like Mom has been pestering me about since I was old enough to know what college was, he suggested I go for a certification. I like that idea much better. At least then I know I’ll be able to use the damn thing. Gavin got his degree and all that shit, and he’s still working at the fucking furniture store. I’m looking into drafting, learning AutoCAD.”

I hear him shifting in his bed and then his echoing footsteps as he walks down his hallway. The telltale sound of his backdoor squeaking lets me know he’s going on his patio for a smoke. Memories of all the time we spent back there fill me with warmth.
 

“You’re speaking in a foreign language. Break it down for me,” I say through a giggle.

“Drafting, like drawing but on a computer. AutoCAD is the program I’d learn… kinda like blueprints, only I’d know how to do everything from simple drawings all the way up to like 3D shit.”

“Ah, very cool. That sounds perfect for you. I’m putting you on speaker so you don’t have to have me chowing down on my chips all up in your earhole,” I tell him, and do just that. I hear him chuckle and I smile.
 

“So what have you been up to today?” he asks, and then he blows out a long breath.

“Those things are going to kill you. Have you at least cut back on how many cigarettes you smoke in a day?”

“Yes,
Mom.
I only smoked half a pack today, thank you very much,” he teases.

“Wow, impressive. That’s way lower than the two packs a day you used to smoke. I’m so proud.” I make sniffling noises like I’m so happy that it’s making me cry.

“Oh, hush. I told you I would, so I am. You had a good reason to quit, having Josalyn and all. I don’t really have one. I enjoy it too much. It’s like an old friend I’m not ready to say goodbye to yet,” he confesses.

“I’m just happy you’re cutting back. As for my day,” I begin, changing the subject back, “Aiden might be getting deployed again soon, so I’ll be moving back into my parents’ house sooner than I thought.”

“Is that a good thing?” he asks.

“Like 90 percent yes. Since he’ll have orders, we’ll be able to get out of the lease without any penalty. I loved living with my parents after Josalyn was first born, and I spend a ton of my time over there anyways.”

“So what’s the 10 percent that’s not good about it?” Jason questions.

“I don’t know. Even though he’s hardly present at all, I feel kind of bad moving Josalyn away from her father. At least now, she physically sees him here, whether he’s paying attention or not. I just have a feeling that when we move out, he’s not going to bother coming to see her.”

“Well if he doesn’t bother, then that’s on him, not on you. You don’t need to feel guilty about it,” he says a bit heatedly. “I can’t imagine being a dad and not wanting to spend every spare minute with my baby.”

“I know. Ugh, whatever. I’m over it. Josalyn and I are going to move in with my parents and Granny, and it’ll be awesome. I’ll be able to leave her with them as usual when I go to work, without having to drive there every morning and then pick her up in the evenings. I’ll just be able to come home. If I have schoolwork I need to get done, they’ll be there to help me out. It won’t be up to me to keep an entire house clean by myself while taking care of a baby with zero help. Oh, man, I’m gonna be spoiled rotten!” I laugh.

“See? There you go. Just count yourself lucky you have them. They’ll probably be thrilled to have y’all there. Cure their Empty Nest Syndrome or whatever.”

“True story. My mom didn’t even want me to move out in the first place. Plus, she misses the animals. She’s super attached to Jade, and Riley always snuggled up to her every day for a nap on the couch while Mom watched her ‘stories’,” I air-quote, even though he can’t see me do it.
 

“I like this plan,” he states.

“Oh, yeah? Why do you like it so much?” I ask with a smile in my voice.

“Because you won’t be living with that jerkoff anymore, obviously.”

I playfully make my tone husky. “And why don’t you want me living with said jerkoff, Jason?”

“You keep making your voice sound like that and you’re gonna make me put my dick in your mouth,” he threatens, and I burst out laughing. When my laughter settles, he continues, “I’ll admit it: I’m a little jealous knowing he’s there.”

“I told you he’s hardly ever here. He goes to work about an hour before I get home from work, so we’re like passing ships. Then he goes to bed a few hours before I get up and leave for the day. I only see him a little on the weekends, if I’m not hanging out at Mom’s.”
 

“I know, but…” he trails off.

“But what?” I prompt, holding my breath.
 

He takes a while to answer; I can hear him taking pulls off his cigarette and blowing it out. But when he finally does, my heart sings.
 

“Fuck it. I… I want you to myself. I don’t like knowing there's another man there, even though I’m sure you’re not doing anything with him. Just the fact he gets to share space with you makes me kinda insane. I want to be the only one sharing space with you.”

His confession stuns me. Is this really the same Jason who never asked me to be his girlfriend? Even when he made the plans to come see me for his birthday before he disappeared, it was only platonic, coming to visit a friend. But this… this sounds way different. This sounds serious.

“What are you saying, Jason?” I whisper, brushing the hair out of my face as I stare at my phone like I would his beautiful brown eyes.

“I want you to be my girl. Like, for real this time. I let you get away, and I’ve told myself, ever since you said you were wishing for me, that I won’t let it happen again. For some crazy ass reason, even after all the shit I’ve done to you, you still want my dumb ass. And I swear this time, I’m not going to disappear. The only reason I did before was because I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought it would be what was best for you. You don’t deserve to have to put up with my bullshit.” He pauses, and I hear him take a drag off his cigarette before the telltale sound of the glass ashtray moving against the glass patio tabletop as he puts out the butt.
 

He takes a deep breath then continues, “So I would just drop off the planet, thinking you’d forget about me if I’d just fucking leave you alone. And after the last time, when I had you take time off work, when I was gonna come see you for my birthday, I thought for sure you’d never speak to me again, and that’s why I deleted your number. I thought you’d never call me again, so I made it impossible for me to call you too. But then you went and texted me. You texted me like it was no big deal I stood you up like a motherfucker. Sent me a message like no time had passed, like you did it every day. And as simple a text as it was, when I realized it really was you, I would have sawed off my arm to come have that Dos Equis with you. I couldn’t fucking believe it was you, my sweet, beautiful girl, messaging me like you were right down the road, just any other day.”

The words spilling from him turn into tears that fill my eyes. I can hear the pain in his voice, the guilt eating away at him. I know my Jason. I know what he’s saying is his truth. I have no doubt that when he did his disappearing act, it was his way of trying to do what he thought was best for me. But what he doesn’t realize is
he
is what’s best for me.
 

“Jason, I’m going to tell you this, and I’m only going to say it once. So you better let it sink into that thick skull of yours. Got it?” I ask with more bravado in my voice than what I actually feel.

“Got it, babe,” he replies.

“I am a grown woman. You do not need to decide what is best for me. I can make my own damn decisions. Before all the word vomit you just threw at me, I believe the first thing you said was you want me to be your girl. Is that correct?”

“Yeah, babe. I want you to be my girl,” he says low.

I bite my lip and look up at my ceiling, trying to calm my racing heart and trying to commit this conversation to memory. I want to remember it always.

“How about you make that statement in the form of a question?” I look at my phone, waiting to hear the words I would have given anything to hear two and half years ago—what feels like a whole lifetime ago.

“Kayla… will you be my girlfriend?”
 

As simple as the question is, nothing has ever filled me with such happiness besides my daughter. With that thought, my heart skips a beat when I force myself to ask him a very important question. “Have you thought about this, Jason? You know it’s not just me now. I’m a package deal.”

“I started thinking about that when I learned you were pregnant. Yeah, it was just a fantasy I played out it my head, never thinking it would really happen, but it got me to wondering. You know how I can live in my head…” He trails off.

“Yeah, I know,” I say, waiting for him to gather his thoughts and continue.

“The way it went in my fantasy… God, it’s so fucked up,” he cuts himself off.

I let out a small laugh to ease his tension, dying to know what he’s thinking. “I promise I won’t tell.”

“I had this fucked-up thought. You know I’m not able to have kids of my own, so I always knew I would be adopting when I settled down, got married, and it was time for babies. Well, I thought… wouldn’t it be something if all this shit happened for a reason? Maybe it was all part of God’s plan that you went back to North Carolina and had a baby… for us.”

My eyes widen at this. I let the scenario play out in my head. What if it really was like that Rascal Flatts song, “God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you”. I mean, Aiden doesn’t want hardly anything to do with her. And from the beginning, she was always
my
baby. He only agreed to get me pregnant in order to get me off his back. Was I meant to have all the heartbreak, the pain of losing Jason, to come home and have my baby girl, all so that Jason and I could be together in the end with Josalyn? If so, then that saying “The Lord works in mysterious ways” is hella true, and He certainly has a weird sense of humor.
 

“So in other words, yes, I know you come as a package, and Josalyn only sweetens the deal for me,” he tells me, and I hear the sincerity in his voice.
 

But I still have to lay it straight. “If I say yes, you cannot pull a Jason again. You can’t just disappear on me. If you start having doubts, you have to promise to talk to me. You can’t just stop answering your phone and fall off the face of the Earth. It was fine when it was only me. I mean, it sucked, but it only hurt me. It’s not just me anymore. If I agree, you can’t do that shit, because it’s me
and
Josalyn you’d be doing it to.” Tears well in my eyes again at just the thought of losing him again. I want him to know exactly what he’s getting into before I jump the gun and say yes, no matter how badly I want to dive in headfirst.

“Babe, I swear on everything I believe in I won’t do that to you again. I have no doubts about us. But if some arise, I promise I will talk to you. I won’t ever do that shit to you again. I know I can’t take back what I did, but I can at least apologize, and then try my best to make it up to you.”

“Holy shit,” I whisper.

“What? What’s wrong?” His voice sounds immediately alarmed.

“Holy fucking shit,” I say a little louder.

“Babe, what’s the matter?” He sounds like he gets up from his chair, and I start to laugh, thinking about what exactly he’d do from Texas if something really was wrong here.

I giggle hysterically and fall over in my bed, pulling the phone closer to me. And then I squeal the one thing I’ve wanted to be true for the past three years.
 

“I’m Jason Robichaux’s girlfriend!”

December 23, 2007

“Hey, kid,” my big brother, Tony, replies when I answer my cell, surprised to see his name flashing across my screen.

“What’s up, Nony?” I ask cheerfully, relieved when his tone isn’t low and grumpy. Last time I saw my middle brother—I’m the youngest of four siblings and the only girl—he flew to Fayetteville to meet a newborn Josalyn. It had been a nice getaway for him, as he was going through a rough divorce. The divorce was a surprise to the whole family; I grew up adoring my quirky, scatterbrained, Venezuelan, fashion-designing sister-in-law, but as an outsider, you never truly know what goes on inside someone’s private life, in their marriage.