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Authors: Catherine Gilbert Murdock

BOOK: Wisdom's Kiss
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Exit Fortitude, weeping.

WISDOM:
O wretchedness! O gloom! Now I grasp this evil plot, connived for Phraugheloch's glory! An agent sent to far Montagne sways my timid sister to leave her throne—a painless task, I'm sure. I'm next in line, but morrow hence am bound to husband Roger. The dowager will see to it that he is crowned as well—not prince consort as custom holds but
king regnant
, my peer. Once he holds sway, my life is short, and Montagne's life is over. Dear Nonna Ben, to you I fly ... We're lost! I cannot think for terror!

***

Act I, Seene xi.

Wisd om's suite in Ph raugheloch Palace.

Benevolence and Wisdom pace.

BENEVOLENCE:
Montagne is five days' ride from here! We cannot warn the queen!

WISDOM:
Nor can I break my vow to wed; the emperor's word is law!

BENEVOLENCE AND WISDOM:
O woe!

 

Enter Tips.

WISDOM:
Who enters through our windows now? 'Tis Tips, my angel bright! You must be chilled, my love so dear; let me warm you closely.

TIPS:
Why the faces long and sad?

BENEVOLENCE:
Farina's evil ends us all ... We've no solution; no reprieve.

WISDOM:
Would my Doppelschläferin assist?

BENEVOLENCE:
Child!

TIPS:
What is this word you speak? It smacks of magic—is it so?

BENEVOLENCE:
Ha! Most patently not, I assure you. Magic is a fraud and hoax, as any wise man knows.

TIPS:
You make me laugh. Of course not! There's no such thing as magic. Not in Froglock or Bacio or anywhere.

WISDOM:
[Aside]
Pause here! A mighty thought consumes me. In Froglock, no; that's true enough. But Montagne has magic; vaults of it. And other lands? Drachensbett; perhaps Pneu. Farther still, what of Ahmb, that sandy desert waste? I know little of the sultan's reign beyond his gifted Globe d'Or, which flies by flame and charcoal's smoke ... But wait—why soil gilded art with soot and ash and fire? What if it heats more cleverly, and more efficiently's moved forward?...Tips, my love: the emperor! Take me to him now!

BENEVOLENCE:
Do no such thing! The man's asleep, and sleep should we as well.

WISDOM:
I must see him ere the dawn!

TIPS:
My love, your word's my power.

 

Tips exits.

BENEVOLENCE:
What have you done, you stupid girl—

WISDOM:
Where is it? I must find it!

BENEVOLENCE:
Where is what, besides your sense? He'll hang us both, to teach us!

WISDOM:
That scrap of cloth you gained today, a present from the circus. It's gold, and strong, and handles flame—I must find it promptly!

BENEVOLENCE:
You silly girl, how dare you mention magic spells? To the great man's lackey, no less. If Tips repeats it, we are dead, as is our humble nation! You deserve to wed a man as dense as you! I'm raging—can you tell it?

WISDOM:
Where is that scrap? I'll have it!

BENEVOLENCE:
Must I shake brains into your skull?

WISDOM:
Or I in yours? Is not it obvious, my goal?

BENEVOLENCE:
It's not! Who's that—

 

Enter Tips with Rüdiger in disguise.

BENEVOLENCE:
A kindler we've no need of now, atop our other woes—

WISDOM:
Your Majesty.

BENEVOLENCE:
It's Rüdiger! Astounding!

RÜDIGER:
Prove your merit, royal child, or this lad shall suffer for it.

WISDOM:
The golden cloth! It's found at last! Your Majesty...
[Aside]
If this burns, then so shall we...

BENEVOLENCE:
Wisdom! No!

Wisdom produces fire.

TIPS:
She makes a flame that burns not cloth. 'Tis magic of the finest sort...

RÜDIGER:
Yet when I touch, it burns me!

BENEVOLENCE
[aside]
: We'll burn as well, I'm sure of it!

WISDOM:
I snuff it out. I rue your burn; it smarts, as well I know.

RÜ DIGER:
'Tis nothing. Please, repeat your trick. Observe cloth rise and float about ... You drive it thus?

WISDOM:
On streams of air my palms produce ... both Air and Fire Elemental.

TIPS:
A miracle! I loved you first, but now your skill has raised my queen to heights beyond the heavens high.

RÜDIGER:
I, too, grasp the girl's intent.

BENEVOLENCE:
Intent of what? Charring pink, ungodly cherubs?...
[Aside]
Who trimmed this room should burn in hell: though in despair, I still discern.

TIPS:
If scraps of cloth are powered thus, imagine spheres directed so.

RÜDIGER:
Your Majesty, express your wish: exchange your heir for anything. I'll have her with consent or not.

BENEVOLENCE:
You'll execute this lovely girl?

WISDOM:
You silly thing! It 's not my death that he desires but my otherworldly skill ... Yet, sir, the problem lies herein: once wed, I cannot fill your need.

RÜDIGER:
A quandary, yea, I see this crux ... but our four heads might solve it.

TIPS:
I pray we might unknot this plight and win this girl for stage, and me—

WISDOM:
And save me from Farina.

BENEVOLENCE:
You're mad, you three, though I'm glad to know the great man will not kill us. But even if your scheming works, how shall we save my country? Lax might survive, and Wisdom too, and even blasted circus. But until I see Montagne preserved, I can't support this folly.

WISDOM:
I see your point, dear Nonna Ben; we must save my sister from her vile suitor. Her future's mine; fate binds us tight. O Temperance, bewildered kin! Would that I could warn you!

RÜDIGER:
I agree, this must be done: Montagne preserved from Farina's grasping.

TIPS:
If we could only fly to her defense...

BENEVOLENCE:
Yet how might this be managed?

Fin Act I

Author Commentary: Queen of All the Heavens, Act I
>

Months ago—years ago—when I began writing
Wisdom's Kiss,
I drew up an outline for
Queen of the All the
Heavens
>
. Act 1 would be Dizzy's childhood and engagement; Act 2, Dizzy's career with Circus Primus and the Globe d'Or; and Act 3, her retirement from circus life and later adventures in Montagne. (I never got very far with Act 3's outline; let's not dwell too much on that one.) The point is that I knew from very early on what every scene would be, and I wrote
Wisdom's Kiss
accordingly, beginning with Act 1, scene 3, the third entry of the book. Which was great—I thought—because it made the play entries more official looking: Act 1, scene 8, Act 2, scene 10 ... These were excerpts, you see, with the relevant scenes included in
Wisdom's Kiss
and the interstitial bits omitted.

Perhaps you see the problem with this; I stupidly didn't, not until the official book had been laid out and carved in stone (publishingwise) and the opportunity for major revision had passed. Only when it came time finally to write the interstitial bits did I realize that the play needed a lot more space to tell this story. How the heck were we supposed to get from the eating of the oysters to Dizzy's performance in "The Demon Vanquished" in only two scenes? Do you know how much goes on in that time? Twenty-nine entries in
Wisdom's Kiss
!

The good news, however—if one can consider this good news, which I do because I don't have a choice—is that
Queen of All the Heavens
is so bloody awful that we can get away with it. The play, remember, is written by
Dizzy
as a form of memoir; she really has no interest in anything that doesn't relate directly to her. So Trudy's hiring, the Escoffier–Handsome battle, even Felis el Gato, have no part in
Queen.
The play conveniently/selfishly (pick your adverb) transitions from the oysters to vomiting to Dizzy's first encounter with Tips, and then back to the published
Wisdom's Kiss
scenes. Voilà. Any massive lapses in continuity or plot are addressed in the dialogue or blithely ignored. This explains Ben's long monologue at the end of act 1, scene 7—it's to establish a break between that and the next scene, even though the set does not change. (A similar effect is used in Act 1, scene 10, when Dizzy wanders the halls of Phraugheloch Palace. Of course this doesn't happen in
Wisdom's Kiss,
but it was necessary to break up the two very long scenes within her suite.)

Extremely fastidious readers may note that "belle-mère," in Act 1, scene 1, is French for "mother-in-law," and it is one of my favorite terms. How much nicer to refer to one's "beautiful mother" rather than "the woman the law stuck me with."

A
deleted scene
from later in
Queen of All the Heavens

More Author Commentary
>

Queen of All the Heavens

A P
LAY IN
T
HREE
A
CTS

PENNED BY ANONYMOUS

Act II, Seene iii. The Globe d'Or.

 

Wisdom sits atop the Globe. Tips joins her.

TIPS:
'Tis dangerous, this globe, and taxing. I scale it daily, and I am winded.

WISDOM:
I have no fear.

TIPS:
Brave does not mean safe, my love. Please, don this belt—I wear its mate. Attached to this cable, you may prance about at will. Secure your feet here: you can now withstand a tempest.

WISDOM:
How brilliant. With my Elemental Air I shall pilot our craft through the skies.

TIPS:
You are as an angel!...But an angel bereft of jubilation.

WISDOM:
O Tips! How could I celebrate when another sobs with broken heart?

TIPS:
The same pain fills me. Trudy is my oldest, dearest friend; yet I have hurt her dreadfully.

WISDOM:
If I had known...

TIPS:
Would you have stopped? I did know and yet could not. For though she is my dearest friend, she is not my true love. That title belongs to another...

 

They embrace.

TIPS:
The sky darkens. We should land, my darling, ere night falls.

WISDOM:
No! Even now, Farina schemes against my home. Though I have hurt one girl, I may yet save another. Heaven knows it is the very least recompense I could make to my sister.

TIPS:
You would travel through the night? 'Tis some kind of madness!

WISDOM:
There is no sane alternative. If I weary, I need only imagine Roger—and his harpy mother!—claiming Montagne. Such nightmarish spectacle shall arouse me at once!

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