Wintertide: A Novel (23 page)

“I can’t believe they still haven’t
fixed that,” he mused from the other side.

I followed him, pulling the cold
metal back and stepping through, the hardened snow crunching beneath my boots.

Although mostly clouds still filled
the sky, they had thinned out since the afternoon, and I could see the outline
of the moon behind them. The filtered silver light was all that illuminated the
snow covered cliff edge ahead of us. As we walked closer, I could hear the
waves pounding onto the beach below. There were several sets of tracks leading
to and from the edge making me think that foolish kids still came here.

Ahead of me, Seth stopped and
peered down. “Hey,” he called.

I heard a reply of “Hey” from below
as I caught up with him. Before reaching the edge, I looked out at the ocean.
Because there was so little light, it appeared only as a dark, moving mass with
intermittent white caps marching forward toward the beach. My eyes were
watering from the wind when I looked down and saw Eddie peering up at us from
the ridge below. He had on the same wool hat and coat I’d seen him in
yesterday. After acknowledging us, he went back to what he had apparently been
doing as he waited, trying to light a cigarette.

The icy snow on the ground made it
more difficult to lower ourselves down the six feet or so that separated the
main ledge from the secondary ridge below it. Following Seth’s example, I dug
away at some snow with my hands, then I crouched down and pushed off, landing
hard on my feet just in time to see Seth hit the ground awkwardly beside me and
fall forward onto his knees with a grunt.

The secondary ridge was only about
seven feet long at its widest point, tapering off on each side where it met the
cliff. There was far less snow on the ridge, probably because the cliff side
shielded it from the elements. Even the wind felt less harsh. As Seth righted
himself and Eddie moved closer to the shelter of the cliffside in another
attempt to light his cigarette, I took in my surroundings. Both the light and
my mood were too dark to appreciate the view, but the feeling of standing there
suspended over the churning ocean was as incredible as I’d remembered.

I turned just as Eddie cursed and
flung another burnt out match onto the ground. I stared down at the match and
then up at him. He was watching me, and I knew he understood the association I
was making.

“Nothing much has changed,” Seth
commented, kicking an empty can by his foot.

“This cliff has probably been here
for thousands of years,” Eddie said. “What did you expect to change?”

“I figured they’d at least fix the
fence.”

Eddie shrugged. “Wouldn’t matter if
they did. Kids would still find a way down here.” He leaned his back against
the rough rock of the cliff side and took in the both of us standing in front
of him. Our breaths were ephemeral clouds between us, and we were all obviously
freezing.

“So, how are you two doing?” Eddie
asked.

I barked out a laugh and then
replied, “Just great.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “Seth
told me we were all in agreement now. You haven’t changed your mind, have you?”

Seth spoke before I could. “No. He
hasn’t changed his mind.”

Eddie’s eyes never left mine. I
clenched my jaw, holding back what I really wanted to say, and shook my head in
response, affirming that I hadn’t changed my mind even though we all knew that
my mind had been made up for me.

“Good,” Eddie nodded at us. He took
a deep breath before he addressed us again. “I got us a lawyer.”

Seth and I glanced at each other
with shared surprise.

Eddie smiled at our reactions. “We
can’t go in there without a lawyer.”

“Where did you find a lawyer?” Seth
asked.

“Friend of a friend,” he shrugged.
“We have a ten o’clock appointment with him tomorrow morning at his office.
We’ll get our stories straight tonight and be ready to tell him tomorrow.”

In my peripheral vision, I could
see Seth nodding in response. I stared stonily at Eddie as he continued.

“The retainer fee is ten grand. He
said he needs that up front before he officially takes us on as clients, but we
have some time to get it. He doesn’t need that tomorrow.”

“We?” I asked.

“Well, you, actually,” he replied.
“You and Seth. If you two split it, that’s only five grand each.”

“You want us to pay for your
lawyer?” Seth asked incredulously.

“I obviously don’t have any funds,”
he said as though that were abundantly clear to everyone.

“Neither do I,” Seth exclaimed.

“Your dad does.”

“He’s not going to give me five
thousand dollars.”

“Actually,” I interjected, “he
needs to give you the whole ten since I don’t have any funds either.”

“What about your school money?”
Eddie challenged.

“I don’t have five thousand dollars
for you,” I clarified to him, realizing how delusional I’d been to think that I
could make any kind of a deal with Eddie. I had more than five thousand dollars
ready to pay for next semester but there was no way I would turn it over to him.
It was just a retainer he’d said. How much more would he be demanding if this did
not go away after the police heard our complete fabrication of what happened
that night?

“This is disappointing,” Eddie sighed
dramatically, shaking his head. “I know you two can get the money.”

“Why can’t we go in there without a
lawyer?” Seth asked.

“Because everyone has already made
up their minds about me. If we walk in there without a lawyer, the police will
probably lock me up without even listening to me. The lawyer is not
negotiable.”

“What about a cheaper lawyer?” Seth
pressed, unable to hide the growing panic that tinged his voice.

“This guy is good. I’m not looking
in the phone book for some cheapo lawyer. I need someone who’s going to get me my
life back.”

“I’m telling you, “Seth pleaded, “I
cannot get you that money. I can’t.”

Eddie turned to me.

“Me neither,” I stated, ready to go
home now that I’d realized any involvement with Eddie was only going to dig me
deeper. I moved to the cliffside where Eddie was standing, my eye on the
foothold that would take me back up. It seemed I continually walked away from
heated discussions with Seth and Eddie. But this would be the last time. I’d
finally learned my lesson.

“Where are you going?” he demanded,
grabbing my arm.

I faced him, feeling his fingers
digging into me through my coat. “This is pointless. We can’t get you the
money.”

“Yes, you can,” he insisted, roughly
pushing me away from the cliffside.

“You’re being unreasonable,” Seth
pleaded from behind me.

I rubbed my arm where his hand had
been. He was obviously not going to just let me walk away this time.

“You’re right,” he said to me.
“This is pointless because I know you both have access to that money. You just
don’t want to get it for me.” He turned to Seth. “Do I have to persuade you? Do
we really need to go over this again?”

Seth pressed his lips together and
looked out at the ocean. I realized that this was probably about the video
again.

Eddie turned back to me. “I know
that you know what’s at stake here.”

I glared at him. “What is at stake?”
I asked. I wanted to hear the threat out loud. I could see that he was
reluctant to put words to it. That would be admitting what he’d already done.
But he didn’t respond verbally. Instead, he reached into his coat pocket and
pulled out the book of matches. He played with the cardboard flap while he stared
back at me.

I could feel the blood pounding in
my head as I eyed those matches in his hand. I nodded at him as I approached
him again. He would do it. I knew he would. He would kill more people if he had
to. Eddie watched me when I came up beside him again, a smirk playing on his
lips as he mistook my nodding for acquiescence. I faced him, seeing his smug
expression. Then I could hear myself yelling. His eyes widened in surprise when
I bent low and rammed my shoulder into his stomach. I began pushing him, my
feet digging into the dirt as I powered forward. Eddie was too shocked at first
to attempt any resistance, and he stumbled back several steps before awareness
kicked in and he began to fight, digging down with his heels, trying to push me
off him. But I had the momentum, and I wasn’t stopping. From behind me, I heard
Seth yell just as Eddie’s weight suddenly fell away. I could feel my legs being
anchored to the ground as my arms and shoulders shot out over the edge. I went
down, my stomach hitting the dirt with a thump, as I watched his descent below
me, his arms and legs flailing, his mouth open in a scream that was quickly
diminishing the further away he fell. Finally, his body crashed against the
rocks, and he rolled away, swallowed up by the black ocean.

Seth dragged me back. I sat up and
saw his face hovering before mine, his eyes wide with shock. Then he crawled
beside me, moving on his belly toward the edge, and looked down.

“He hit the rocks and went into the
water,” I explained, knowing that Seth wouldn’t find him down there.

He turned and blinked at me. I
didn’t move. I just sat there and listened to the sound of my own harsh breathing.
I’m not sure how long we stayed there until Seth finally stood and said, “Come
on.”

I managed to raise myself onto
shaky legs and climb up after him. Silently, we walked back to the car. The
Honda was parked there, and it would remain there now. We both eyed it with the
same thought as we got into the Buick.

It took three tries before I could
get the key into the ignition. Once we were moving, neither of us spoke as I
drove Seth back to his house. It was now three-thirty in the morning, and we
were alone on the road. Within minutes, I was pulling into Seth’s driveway.
When I picked him up just over an hour ago, I couldn’t have imagined how our
outing would end.

“He’s dead,” Seth said from the
passenger seat once I’d stopped the car. His voice startled me after the
silence we’d both maintained.

“He must be,” I replied, my own voice
sounding rough and detached.

We sat quietly again. I was anxious
for Seth to get out of the car. “Then it’s over,” he stated flatly. He still
hadn’t moved, and I knew he was staring at me. Finally, I reluctantly pulled my
eyes away from his front yard and I faced him. His expression appeared calm,
but his stormy eyes reflected my own emotions, which I was struggling to
maintain control over, until I could be alone. As he continued to focus on me, I
could read the utter disbelief of what had happened, of what I had done tonight,
in his gaze.

I opened my mouth to say something,
although I had no idea what, when he abruptly broke eye contact and turned away.
“Goodnight,” he said to the darkness outside the window.

“Night,” I replied, but he hadn’t
waited for my response. He’d pushed open the door and stepped out, moving
quickly now toward his house.

As I drove home, I knew I couldn’t
let myself think about it yet. I needed to get to the house first. Parking in
the driveway, I shut off the engine and checked the windows for any sign that
my parents were still awake. There was none. My mother had left the light on outside
the front door, but the rest of the house was dark. Quietly, I let myself in. I
didn’t bother shedding my coat as I turned the outside light off, locked the
front door and crept upstairs in the darkness.

The cold air still clung to my coat
and clothes as I removed them, leaving them in a pile on the floor. In only my
boxers and t-shirt, I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes. As I knew they
would, the images from the evening played out in my head; the look on Eddie’s
face, the feel of my shoulder pushing against him, his panicked struggle, the
way his body hit and bounced off of the rocks, the way the water swallowed him
whole. I rubbed my hands over my face. I couldn’t comprehend it. I couldn’t
process it. I couldn’t believe it was real, and I couldn’t help thinking back
to another night at the sea cliff with Eddie and Seth. The night that Eddie had
leaned over the edge too far and I pulled him back before he could fall. I had
prevented him from going over that night only to push him over myself years
later.

Over the next few hours, the
reality of what I had done began to take hold. I hadn’t planned it, and I never
would have thought myself capable of it, but I’d done it. Eddie was dead. He’d
died horribly at my hands, and I wondered if his body would wash up somewhere
close by. Seth no longer had to worry about the video that Eddie had threatened
to expose. I no longer had to worry about him using my parents as leverage
against me. Neither of us had to provide an alibi for him anymore. The removal
of Eddie had effectively solved our problems.

Once it was light out, I got up and
robotically made my way through my usual routine. I hadn’t slept in days and
despite the continuous movie of last night that played in my head, I knew it
was important to appear normal today. Only Seth and I knew what happened last
night, but I didn’t want to give anyone a reason to question me by staying in bed
all day as I so badly wanted.

The banging in the kitchen told me
that my dad and his friends were still at work repairing the damage. I found my
mother looking well, sitting in the living room with her coffee and newspaper.

“Did you have fun last night?” she
asked when she spotted me in the doorway.

I just stared at her for a moment
as my scrambled brain tried to make sense of her question.

“With Kristen,” she prompted.

The haze in my head cleared, and I
offered her a strained smile as I walked into the room. “Yeah, we had fun. How
are you feeling?”

She waved her hand at me. “I’m
fine. I wish people would stop asking me that. Did you know that half the town
called me yesterday? Our fire was in the paper.”