Winter's Touch (Immortal Touch Series) (16 page)

“Maybe I do. It is highly entertaining, after all.”

“So glad I amuse you.”

“Ah, and how you do.” He reached up to brush a fir branch with his fingertips. “I’d almost forgotten how it feels to laugh. To really laugh.”

The admission brought more hope to Eva than she knew she should allow.
“Maybe your emotions aren’t as dead as you think,” she suggested. “Maybe you just have to look for them instead of denying their existence.”

He gazed off into the distance, unresponsive, apparently
disinclined to address the subject further.

“
Is it that you can’t remember, or that you choose not to?” she prodded.

The
dark clouds in his eyes returned to mask all traces of the charming young man she’d briefly exposed. “Let me ask you a question, little inquisitor. Why does it matter to you?”

“Because I’d like to help you, if I can.”

“Why should you wish to do that?”

“I don’t know.” Eva searched
her mind for the right words. “Lainie told me I should bear in mind that it isn’t your fault you’re the way you are. And...I guess I understand that. I just think...maybe you don’t try hard enough to fight it. You seem so willing to just accept that you’re some kind of evil entity. Am I making sense?”

He gave her a blank look.

She tried again. “You once made the comment that I should learn to appreciate life, remember? This tells me that you obviously find pleasure in your own life. And...you have a passion for music, don’t you? If you’re able to appreciate those things yourself, then why can’t you find any value in the lives of others?”

“You make a valid point. But
you see, there is a flaw in your theory. The lives of others hold no interest for me, nor do they affect my way of life. I am content with my existence as it is, therefore I see no reason to attempt to alter it.”

“Content, maybe. But are you happy?”

“Am I happy?” He turned to appraise her with an expression of vague confusion, shaking his head. “What an odd question. What a very odd question.”

It was a question that
was to remain unanswered.

CHAPTER NINE

A Masterpiece of Confusion

“I didn’t think vampires were supposed to eat.”

Julian paused in the midst of making his sandwich to wrinkle his nose in distaste at the low-calorie microwave dinner she was picking at. “Is that supposed to constitute food? It looks positively inedible.”

Eva poked at the soggy vegetables with her fork
, mentally acknowledging that he wasn’t far from the truth. “Well, it isn’t
my
fault Lainie left, is it? I never said I was a brilliant cook.”

“I should hope not. Your nose would have grown six inches.”
He opened the refrigerator to return the Dijon mustard to its place.

“
You’re so...
witty.
” She speared a piece of limp broccoli and forced herself to swallow it. “Really though, what’s with that? Shouldn’t you subsist only on blood?”

“Is that an offer?”

“It is not. Just seems uncharacteristic, that’s all.”

“
I don’t know what to tell you.” He cut the sandwich in half and brought it over to the kitchen table where he sat across from her. “In many ways, I’m much the same as I once was.”

She resisted the temptation of sarcasm, though not without
some difficulty. “So what happens if you don’t get your monthly fix? I mean, if you just stop?”

“I go mad.” He bit into the turkey and provolone on whole wheat, his eyes never leaving hers. More than likely he was
waiting for a snide retort, and she didn’t disappoint.

“As opposed to
the picture perfect model of sanity you are now.”

“Precisely.”

“Have you ever actually
tried
going without it?”

“It isn’t possible.”

“How do you know that?”

His lips curved upward. “Do you really want me to describe it to you while you’re eating?”

She glanced down at the plastic tray of half-eaten food that had grown cold, and pushed it to one side. “I was done anyway. You were right. That stuff
was
inedible.”

“Want the other half of this?”

“No, that’s okay. So tell me. What happens?” Resting her arms on the table, she leaned forward on them to listen intently.

He shrugged
indifferently. “If you insist. Well now, let’s see. To begin with, I generally try to satisfy the need before it gets out of control. Once the craving hits, I have about twenty-four hours before all sense of logic begins to deteriorate. As I said before, I go quite mad. You cannot realize how difficult it is to control my base urges once I pass the point of desperation. There is no denying the hunger, you see. It transcends everything else. If you’ve ever seen a starving animal, then you have some idea of what it’s like.

“
I learned firsthand soon after the transformation. As you already know, I returned to London after my death. I still wasn’t completely aware of the magnitude of my condition and it wasn’t long before I became very ill. I’ve never experienced any sort of withdrawal symptoms before, but I would expect that would be the closest comparison to what I felt. Paranoia, tremors, hallucinations. I was losing my mind and had no idea why.

“I’d been shut up in my flat for two days, progressively getting worse, when a colleague from
work stopped by to check on me - a fatal mistake on his part. As soon as I opened the door the smell of his blood hit me and sent me into what can only be described as a deranged frenzy. What happened next I have only the vaguest recollection of. I can tell you that when it was all over the unfortunate chap was almost completely drained and practically every bone in his body broken. As for myself - well, I was rejuvenated, healthy and energetic and stronger than ever. That is how I came to discover what was required for my survival. I was extremely fortunate in that no one else was around during my indiscretion - everyone else on my floor happened to be out that day. While I was lucky that time, I had to make certain I never reached that point again.

“
After that, I became very adept at...planning ahead, so to speak. I had no choice. Do you see? There is no other way. No alternative. In the words of the illustrious Bram Stoker...
the blood is the life.
”

Eva, suddenly realizing that she
was intuitively rubbing her neck, pulled her hand away sheepishly. “Didn’t anyone question the man’s disappearance?”

“Of course. Everyone did. But he apparently stopped by on a whim while he was out to lunch, and
thankfully no one knew he’d been to see me. So I was in the clear.”

She hesitated,
debating the wisdom of asking what she was now wondering. As usual, her natural curiosity won the coin toss. “What...um, what did you do with him?”

His
crafty smile was disturbingly unsettling. “Trust me, Eva dear. That is something you do
not
want to hear about.”

No doubt he was right about that
, although the gruesome images that sprang to mind were probably just as bad or worse than whatever it was he’d actually done. Then again, maybe not. That, however, was one piece of detailed information she could easily do without. Time for a change of topic, and
now.

Tossing
the remainder of her microwave dinner in the trash, she commented without thinking, “I’d kill for a pizza.”

His abrupt burst of laughter startled her, and she stared at him for a moment before comprehending the
absurd irony of her statement. “Oh, crap. You know what I mean.”

“We probably won’t have to go to quite that extent,” he
assured her, still chuckling.

“I really don’t find that funny.”

“You do have the most peculiar way of expressing yourself.”

“I do not. You’re just
...twisted.”

“If you say so.
But if you harbor such a strong craving for Italian food that you’re willing to commit homicide, perhaps I’d better pick up a pizza later.”

Eva perked up. “There’s actually a pizza place
nearby?”

“
Hardly. The nearest one is about thirty miles away.”

“
I might have known.” Frankly, she wasn’t sure she believed
anything
existed anymore outside their isolated little world. It was as if they were the only two people remaining after some unnamable but widespread cataclysm. Well over a month had passed without her laying eyes on another soul, if you didn’t count Lainie. And as far as souls went, she had her doubts about whether Julian even possessed such an item. What
did
happen to a person’s soul in a situation like his? A profound question indeed. And there were far more of those than answers in his case.

“If it’s that much trouble, don’t bother.”

“It’s no trouble. Lainie used to have food delivered here on occasion, when she wasn’t up to cooking. I don’t think it’s a good idea to have anyone come out while you’re here, but I’d be willing to go get whatever you’d like. Provided you stay in the house, of course.” His blasé tone suggested that he wasn’t particularly worried about that. The wolves would guard her closely.

“How
’d you get anyone to deliver way out here in the first place?” she wanted to know.

“Money talks
, my pet. Surely you’ve learned that life lesson by now.”

Frowning,
she gave him a skeptical look. “You know, I don’t get it. You said your grandfather was a lawyer, right?”

“Correct.”

“Well, I know they tend to make a decent living and all but...I mean, you said he left you a small fortune. Something just doesn’t add up.”

“Lainie never spoke to you about him?”

“Not in great detail, no.”

“
Hm. I have to give her credit for discretion. If you must know, my grandfather had affiliations with some very powerful figures. He defended some of the wealthiest and most unscrupulous men you can imagine - those who had their hands in the mafia, organized crime, money laundering, extortion, drug trafficking, you name it. They were more than willing to pay top dollar for the best representation available. And with all his connections, he became involved in some insider trading himself. Now does it all add up to you?”

Rolling her eyes,
she nodded. “I should have guessed. Nothing about you is straightforward and simple, is it?”

He smiled guilelessly. “I’d say my life is pretty straightforward these days. I’m not involved in any illegal activities myself, in case you were wondering. It’s in my best interest to remain under the radar. Besides, there’s no need for any of that. I have more money tha
n I’ll ever use.”

“Must be nice.”

“Very nice.”

“You do realize murder falls under the umbrella of ‘illegal activities’
though, don’t you?” She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows impertinently. Lately, one-upping him had become the primary goal of every conversation. It was her only form of retaliation.

“
Ah, so we’re back to that again, are we?”

“
Just thought I’d point it out.”

“Your observation has been duly noted. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere else to be.”
Clearly indignant, he stood and began walking away.

“
Yeah? Where is that?”

“Any
place where I’m not constantly being interrogated by self-righteous nags!”

~
*~*~

All right, so the truth of it was that he actually enjoyed sparring with the
irritating little pest.

But was it really necessary
for her to constantly reiterate what a despicable creature she found him to be?

He’d tried to explain himself to her, for reasons he
still wasn’t quite able to fathom, and not a word of it seemed to sink in. She continued to look at him with those accusing eyes, judging him. Condemning him. Well, how could he expect her to understand? She was just an insignificant, narrow-minded mortal, after all. What difference did it even make
what
she thought?

And why was he letting her get to him?

~*~*~

She
was sprawled out on the sofa the following night when he paused on his way upstairs to ask, “What is that you’re watching?”

Muting the television’s sound, Eva sat up
so she could see him over the back of the couch. “Just a movie. You going to bed already?”

“I hadn’t planned on it, no.”

“What are you doing?”

He sighed. “Do you suppose we could get through just
one
day where you aren’t constantly questioning everything I do?”