Winter's Knight (5 page)

Lucian nodded in the seconds it took to follow all the examples and find Shea’s train of thought. There were usually several running on tracks that didn’t necessarily converge. “Find anything that worked to keep youinline?”he asked.
“Buryin’ the thought six feet deep and runnin’ over the grave site with a John Deere 6D, but you... it’s... oh Lord.” Shea took another drag and ground the stub out under his heel. “You were nice to me in there. It’s fuckin’ frightenin’.”
“I hope it’s not such a change,” Lucian muttered, still deciphering Shea Speak. He didn’t dare hope that Shea’s nebulous references to needing distraction from something impossible that Shea wanted had anything to do with him. Lucian’s ego liked the idea, but his better sense and experience scoffed. After all, what in the world could Lucian provide that no one else could for Shea?
And he denied the calm voice in the back of his mind that pointed out that if Shea was Lucian’s reason for living, the reverse wasn’t entirely impossible. It also said something about the fact that if Lucian had kept his feelings to himself for years, the only other person alive who might be as skilled at doing that would be Shea. Lucianwished Shea hadn’t stubbed out the cigarette.
“You whispering to me is a helluva change,” Shea drawled. “Especially when we used to shout insults across the Debate Team floor, or get by Mr. Miller’s club restrictions with a low mutter of name calling while playing speed chess, or, I still remember the time we were in that fuckin’ City-wide Spelling Bee.” Lucian chuckled, and Shea joined in. “The looks during the finalround when we had to screw up twice to be called out. We went eight rounds with all the other kids’ parents wantin’ to kill us both, and, God, how they screamed when you decided you weren’t going for State after you won. I’ll remember how to spell ‘promiscuous’ and ‘sacrilegious’ to the end of my days.”
Lucian laughed outright. “As will I.” His hand moved in slow motion, stroked the rough nap of Shea’s jacket sleeve. “As will I,” he repeated, so quietly that there was barelya tendrilofbreathas evidence.
Shea shivered. “You like this...” He shook his head in disbelief. “I’ve seen you pull this act with so many others, shining every lumen of your attention on themso that they catch fire for you and only you. It’s like watching a cold winter star gleaming bright, and everyone gatheringto the miracle.”
Luciandidn’t answer, unsure ofwhat to sayor what any of this meant or if the meaning mattered as much as the saying. Shea didn’t sound beleaguered like he often did when recounting their childhood rivalries, and he didn’t sound accusatory like he usually did when talking about Lucian’s conquests. Irritated, exasperated, maybe a hint of jealous -- those were all normal emotions inthe course ofthis kind ofconversation.
Instead, Shea sounded small, confused, maybe lost. Like a man who woke up froma dreamin a stranger’s bed and was both terrified and thrilled to be there. Lucian wanted the good and none of the bad, and with his heart thudding in his chest, he shifted until he was pressed against Shea, thigh to shoulder. “Keep speaking like this, and I’m going to start thinking the idea of you and me isn’t new to you, either, sweet Shea.”
“And if you keep saying that damned nickname without the condescension, I’ll...”Shea swallowed.
“Let me touch you more than I am, perhaps?” Lucian asked in his lowest, silkiest voice. His cock stirred, and desire drowned most of his higher brain functions. Lucian leaned until he could smell Shea’s aftershave. “I can be slow for you.” Lucian paused. “I could be many things for you that I’m normally not.” The click of Shea’s throat was audible. “So maybe you’lllet me start withyour hair?”
“M-myhair?”Shea stammered.
Lucian recognized the effort for equilibrium and enjoyed that Shea had to try and find it. “Yes. I’d love to know what it feels like.”
“Oh. I keep forgetting to cut it, and the boys give me shit about that, but...” Shea tilted toward Lucian. “Sure? Go ahead.”
“Thank you,” Lucian said and stood so fast that Shea started to tip and righted himself.
“Wha--”
Lucian nudged Shea’s knees wider and stepped between them, his waist level with Shea’s head. When Shea started to draw away, Lucian chose that moment to slide all ten fingers from Shea’s cheeks to temples and into thick curls. Shea gasped, broad chest arching and eyes widening.
“Soft,”Lucianwhispered, parts ofhis bodygrowing harder at the simple pleasure. He inched closer, added the tiniest amount of pressure to his grip, and heard the ghost of a moan from Shea. Lucian stifled an eager noise, repeating the squeeze before letting go to stroke the strands.
Shea stiffened, and Lucian almost withdrew, but Shea’s body unclenched and then gave with a gusting sigh, and Shea’s neck bent. Lucian guided, and Shea rested his forehead against Lucian’s stomach and gently clasped Lucian’s legs.
“Mm, like that,” Lucian praised and confirmed, and a shudder rippled through Shea. Lucian wondered at the reaction, the back of his mind saving it for later study. He petted Shea’s nape, kneaded stiffmuscle and was shocked to discover Shea’s skin still heated despite the winter around them. “So warm, sweet Shea.”
The helpless note that came fromShea’s throat was unmistakable, and it tightened Lucian’s focus. “Ah... God, Luke,” Shea whispered, shivered, and strong hands gripped harder alongthe sides ofLucian’s thighs.
All Lucian wanted to do was sink into Shea, kiss and hold and get the man off. But the part of him that worshipped at the altar of control, that loved men on their knees with lash marks marring their skin, and that ran the best BDSM club in the region, snapped to attentionand started to link notes.
Shea wanted himbadly. Luciancarried no delusions of poor self esteem to cloud his judgement on that point. However, Shea sounded like a man drowning, and that worried Lucian. If they were in a private room in Club Break, and Shea was wearing rope instead of rented cotton, then maybe the voices screaming at Lucian to protect and provide would make more sense. Hell, if Shea had ever shown a second’s interest in Scene at all...
Then again, maybe that didn’t matter. The ferocity ofthe need for touchcould certainlymatchother darker needs that Lucian liked to feed. Raised in a household where an embrace was rarer than blue diamonds, Lucian knew that from personal experience. According to Clark, Shea dated, but not often, and Shea topped every time. Precisely how Clark knew that was something Lucian just didn’t ask, but he trusted the information.
So maybe Shea was holding back. Perhaps it’d been a while. Couple that with what appeared to be a long-term affection for his best friend that matched Lucian’s, not to mention the stress of the evening and seeing his family, and Shea’s state started to align in Lucian’s logic.
“It’s all right, Shea.” Lucian reassured simply and let his hands roamover shoulders, neck, and the side of Shea’s face. Shea turned to lay a kiss on Lucian’s palm with a breath that trembled, and Lucian cupped Shea’s chin. “May I have one of those to taste?” he asked, bending and cradling Shea’s head. His hair fell with a swish and threw Shea’s cheeks into stark light and dark.
Shea parted his lips, his eyes black with pupils blown. “Yes. Please.”
A lifetime of together in ways Lucian had known with none other, but when he touched his mouth to Shea’s, it was their very first kiss. Shea’s skin was smooth beneath Lucian’s, Shea’s hands flexed on his body, and Lucian tried like hell to elongate the seconds and savor them. He pressed and lightly licked Shea’s upper lip, then lower, and deepened the pressure to suck and memorize Shea’s flavor: smoke, champagne, perfection.
Shea followed Lucian’s lead and returned favors in kind. When Lucian broke the kiss, he had a quick argument over the pros and cons ofmaking out in a pile of icy snow. Comfort and fear of frostbite tipped the scales, but it was a close call. “Want more of this,” Lucian said with effort. “But we should probably...” Lucian kissed Shea again, temporarily forgetting what should or shouldn’t happen.
Against Lucian’s lips, Shea murmured, “Your fingers are so cold.”
“Should get us inside,” Lucian clarified. He let out a frustrated sigh and glanced toward the front of the hotel while raking through Shea’s hair again. “Inconvenient. I’d book us a room here, but the beds are terrible. Your place, perhaps? I’ve not seenit, after all.”
“My place?” Shea’s eyes hooded, which gave Lucian pause, but he nodded. “Sure. You want to follow me there? I’ve gotta DucatiMultistrada, now.”
“I know,” Lucian said, adjusting himself and giving Shea room. He felt immediately bereft. “Both the way and the beautiful machine. Never thought you’d part withthe Indian.”He held a hand out to Shea.
Taking it, Shea wrapped his scarred paw around Lucian’s. “I never thought I would either,” Shea said in that voice that sounded so lost. Another chip fell onto the pile of data awaiting Lucian’s consideration, but Shea shrugged offwhatever was bothering him. Aseam ripped, and Shea swore.
“Simplynot worthyofyou,”Luciancommented and got another smile. “And I’ll be right behind you. Came here in a limo, but arranged for the Rover to get dropped off with the valet. Didn’t know quite when I was leaving, and you know how I hate waiting for cars.”
“The Rover will be perfect for my new driveway. The gravelhasn’t bedded as solidlyas I wanted.”
Lucian refrained from making a Clark-worthy pun about solid bedding, choosing instead to start the journey back to the hotel. He held a branch back for Shea. “ThenI willfollow your lead.”
Chapter 3
The forest canopy loomed overhead, blocking the moon and sky. Snow piles marked the edges of the driveway and shards of ice dangled fromthe needles of tall pines and bony deciduous. Lucian shut off the Rover’s engine and watched Shea steer the bike into a shed near the two-story cabin. He waited until the Ducati’s tail lights winked out, and then Lucian climbed out of his truck. Gravel crunched beneath the thin soles of his dress shoes, and he admired Shea’s handmade home. Wide wooden planks were fitted snug against one another. The small covered porch was inviting, the railing bits of knotty branches. There were lots of shaded windows, and smoke drifted lazily from a chimney. Lucian suspected it was froma wood-burning stove.
Footsteps alerted Lucian to Shea’s approach, and Lucian followed Shea up the two stairs leading to the front door. Safety lights turned on with the proximity, the brilliance blindingLucian. Muddywork boots sat on a mat near a scraper and a bench, and Lucian smiled at the evidence of Shea’s livelihood while Shea kicked openthe screenand let theminto the cabin.
The interior was dim, and Shea locked the door behind them before tossing keys onto a table. Lucian blinked for focus and made out a staircase leading to a loft on the right and acres of bookshelves on the left. The kitchen was ahead of them, down a hallway and at the rear of the cabin. Shea flicked a switch and a lamp came to life, and for a moment the two men stared at one another.
“Nice,”Luciansaid.
“Thanks.”
Lucian tried to read Shea’s body language but got lost intranslation. “What’s upstairs?”
“Just the bedroom,” Shea said with a hesitant smile. “Gimme your coat? Is it warmenoughinhere for you?”
Lucian nodded, shrugging out of his coat and handing it to Shea, who hung it on a rack. Shea’s leather jacket followed. Shea stepped away from Lucianwhendone but didn’t go farther into the cabinor come nearer. Lucian studied his friend, the drawn shoulders, the hands knotted into loose fists, and Shea tried to look everywhere but at Lucian, seemingly at a loss. Apparently, Lucianneeded to make the first move. He took a step closer, thinkingfast.
Shea tended to top, Shea still wasn’t sure Lucian was serious -- the line about seeing Lucian’s “act” a thousand times had driven that particular point home -and Lucian was sure Shea was holding back out of a combinationofnerves, respect, and distrust. He needed Shea to understand he was serious, and he needed somehow to show Shea that Lucian didn’t care who filled the dominant role of the night so long as somebody did. That would serve Lucian’s immediate needs and also hammer home the idea that Lucian just wanted Shea, in any capacity. Shea knew Lucian’s domineering preferences by heart, so the gesture wouldn’t be overlooked.
“Shea,” Lucian rumbled in warning, and he grabbed two handfuls of Shea’s tuxedo jacket. Throwing himself backward, Lucian hit the door and dragged Shea for the ride. His mouth covered Shea’s in a harsh closelipped kiss, and he straddled one of Shea’s legs when the momentumpressed Shea against him.
A moan erupted as Shea opened to Lucian’s mouth, and the weight ofShea’s groin met Lucian’s hip. Lucianyanked at Shea’s lapels, rollinginto the hardness solidifyingbeneathShea’s clothes, and Shea kept going, using Lucian’s speed to turn themto Lucian’s left. Shea swallowed Lucian’s note of surprise, and Lucian lost balance, staggering into Shea, whose broad shoulders now spanned the gap between the door and window frame. Something heavy and metallic slid against the walland clattered to the floor, but Shea didn’t break off the kiss. Lucian’s eyes rolled to see what fell, head twistingwhile his tongue warred withShea’s.
“Is that a shotgun?” Lucian gasped, staring at the fallenweaponand rippingShea’s jacket downhis arms. “Or youjust happyto see me?”
“Yes,” Shea said, panting. Asound awfully close to a whimper fell from his lips as muscles tensed against the restriction of the jacket trapping his elbows, and a seamprotested the treatment. “Safety’s on, but loaded. Just don’t kick it too much.”
“Right,” Lucian agreed, kissing Shea again. The gun was odd. Shea hated guns. And there was something Lucian knew he should notice between the body reversaland the way Shea responded to the impromptu binding, but thinking was too tall an order. Autopilot turned on, and Lucian twisted the jacket on Shea’s wrists instead of taking it off, and he tore away from Shea’s lips to attack Shea’s neck.
When teeth met skin, Shea cried out, and Lucian’s cock jumped. Shea’s chin lifted to offer Lucian more, and Lucian groaned, resisting the temptation to mark territory. Shea’s shoulders rolled, the cheap rental shirt straining over Shea’s chest as he tested the coat’s grip. “Oh, God. Luke?”
Shea’s tone lit up warning lights in Lucian’s mind, and frustration flickered. The man couldn’t possibly still doubt Lucian’s sincerity. Maybe just the motives. Or, oh God, Shea might be thinking this was a bad idea. Lucian didn’t know how the hell such doubts could fit among all the heat igniting between them, but he made himself lightly kiss Shea’s throat and retreat to study Shea’s face. “What’s wrong, sweet Shea?”