Winter's Kiss (17 page)

And she would wait for him forever if it took that long.

Winter stared ahead, always ahead. Since leaving the barn at nightfall, he hadn’t looked at Nika once. It was a conscious decision. He had fallen asleep shortly after making love to her, slipping into blissful dreams that had felt like torture when he had awoken to realise that they weren’t real. Reality was far harsher and far gloomier. He moved with the motion of the horse as it walked along the lane, following the tyre tracks of the vehicles that had passed this way and had compressed the snow into ice.

His mind ran over his moment with Nika on a continual repeat. It replayed every action and feeling he had experienced this morning, only this time, it was sheer torture. What had he been thinking? What she had proposed had been nothing but a sweet fantasy. He had known that this would affect them. He couldn’t touch and taste her and not be affected by it, not be hurt. Leaving her would have been hard enough without having kissed her or felt her body against his, now it seemed impossible and he didn’t know whether he had the strength to go through with it. He craved the
taste
of her and it wasn’t just his hunger speaking. Her blood was sweeter than any he had tasted before, sweeter because she gave it freely, because she wanted him to drink from her. Never in his thousand years had anyone willingly given him blood.

Closing his eyes, he cursed his weakness and turned his face to one side, ashamed of himself. He was a commander, a Watchman of Validus, a trusted soldier. Many of his kin had commended his pride and sense of duty. His lord had rewarded his strength with the position of commander, a rank that few held.

144

He no longer felt strong, proud, or dutiful. He felt weak. He hadn’t been able to protect Nika. He couldn’t take the risk that she was willing to by
standing
up with her
and
telling the world to go to hell if it wouldn’t allow them to be together. He had betrayed his family with his affection for Nika, unchanged as it was now that she was a werewolf, but that no longer meant a thing to him. There was only one constant in his world, one thing that ruled him.

He loved her.

He still wanted her to be his.

But above all else, he wanted to protect her. To do that, he had to leave her, even though it hurt him to just think about it. He wasn’t leaving her so he could play the dutiful son to his bloodline and repay the debt he owed his lord. He was leaving her because it would ensure her safety. If he could find a way to be with her without exposing her to the danger of the Law Keepers, then he would return to her. Deep in his heart, that was his greatest desire. No matter how long it took him, he would find a way for them to be together, a way that didn’t place her in constant danger or force her to lead a life of secrecy and lies.

He had to protect her, and right now that meant leaving her.

But leaving her felt so impossible.

She moved behind him, her hands closing around his waist. He removed one of his gloves and touched her hands. They were freezing. With a sigh, he removed his other glove and took hold of her hand, letting the horse lead itself for a moment. He placed his gloves on her hands and locked them back together around his waist.

Taking up the reins, he geed on the horse. A fork in the road ahead drew his attention. To his left, hills rose up, blanketed by trees. They were almost there. He could smell werewolves.

A grumble from behind him made him look over his shoulder at Nika. He couldn’t see her. She had her cheek pressed against his back, her cloak drawn up over her head to protect her from the cold.

“I’m hungry,” she mumbled quietly and he realised the noise had been her stomach.

He wasn’t surprised. She hadn’t eaten since the werewolf attack. She should be starving by now.

She shuffled forwards and the cloak fell away from her face when she sat up. He turned to face forwards again and guided the horse down the road to his left, towards the hills. The reek of werewolves grew stronger and he knew they were heading in the right direction.

“Do I have to eat blood like you do?” Nika said and her hands tightened against his waist. Her heart sped a little. She didn’t like the thought of eating blood. “Must I kill?”

He frowned at her second question. Sometimes, you didn’t have the option whether to kill or not. Sometimes your only choice was to kill. He had faced that situation enough times to be immune to the sight of death now. While the broken bodies of the village had rattled Nika, they hadn’t affected him at all. The sight of a hundred beaten and battered corpses wouldn’t make him blink an eye. The blood of a hundred humans on his hands wouldn’t bother him in the slightest. In his years, he had killed thousands. It was their life, or his.

But the fire. He blinked away the memories that flooded him. No. Death didn’t bother him.

Something told him that he couldn’t tell Nika that though. She was still very human. The knowledge that he had killed so many without the slightest ounce of remorse would probably drive her away. A voice at the back of his head whispered that it might be a good thing to drive her away and make her hate him. It would make things easier on them when it came time for him to leave. He shut it out and told himself that it wasn’t the way. He couldn’t take the easy way out of this. Their parting would hurt them both, and there was a chance neither of them would ever truly recover from the pain and loss if he couldn’t return, but it was another situation where he had no choice. He had to leave, for both of their sakes. He had failed to protect her once. He wouldn’t fail again. Leaving her would keep her safe from his kin and the law.

Even though it would break her heart and his own in the process.

“Do I?” Nika said again, this time grabbing his shoulders and pulling herself up. Her soft breath washed over his cheek, a white mist that drifted away on the breeze.

“No,” he said and when she didn’t move away, he realised that his short answer wasn’t satisfactory. A wooden gate stood in the distance, a field beyond it. They would have to walk the horse from there. There had to be a road to the stronghold but he hadn’t seen one. It was probably on the other side of the hills. They didn’t have time to go around. Willem would be close on their heels. Walking through the forest would be quickest. Speed was of the essence. He needed to get Nika there and get her safe. “Werewolves do not have to kill humans. Animal blood and human food and drink are enough to sustain you.”

“And you?” she whispered with a tremble.

His eyes narrowed on the distant trees. Him? What did he tell her? What she would like to hear or the truth of the
matter?

He had been honest with her so far. Now wasn’t the time to change that. She would probably encounter other vampires in her lifetime, ones that weren’t associated with the place he was taking her to live. He had to continue to be honest with her so she knew what type of creature his kind was.

“I cannot drink or eat human food. Animal blood would not sustain me. I need human blood, at least once every fortnight, if not more. Nothing else will suffice.” Winter paused and drew a deep breath, feeling the need for air in his lungs. He had never breathed as much in the past five hundred years as he had these past few days. Quietly, solemnly, he stared up at the starlit sky and said, “A vampire must kill.”

Nika slumped back into her place on the saddle behind him and her hands slipped from his shoulders. He waited to see what her reaction would be and whether she would dare touch him again now. Surely, in her head she would be calculating his age and how many lives he had potentially taken.

A minimum of twenty-six a year to feed alone, if he hadn’t been injured or involved in battle. When injured, he needed more blood to replace his lost blood and the strength it took to heal. Twenty-six lives a year and over a thousand years of living. He had killed the population of her village around two hundred times over.

“Oh,” she said, as though she wasn’t sure how she was supposed to react.

He pulled the black horse to a stop and was about to dismount when her arms wrapped around his waist and she pressed her cheek against his back. He closed his eyes, hung his head forwards, and sighed out the breath that he had been holding. His hands came to rest over hers and he stared at them and the way she still clung to him, even though he had just told her that he had killed over twenty thousand people in his lifetime and would continue to kill.

She didn’t care.

A smile touched his lips at how forgiving she was, how understanding. Before her change into a werewolf, would she have reacted like this? The news that he was a vampire and that he killed people to survive would have driven her away back then. How would she have reacted if he had spoken to her and told her that he wanted to make her into a vampire, like him? He wanted to be her sire and her lover, for all eternity.

It was pointless to wonder that now. The chance that he might have had with her had been cruelly snatched away by Willem. Thinking about what might have been would only hurt him more, and he was already in enough pain.

He removed her hands from his waist and dismounted. Reaching up to Nika, he took hold of her waist and lifted her down from the horse.

“How is your leg?” he said with a glance at it. When she had been half-naked, he had been too lust-addled to take notice of her leg. Now they faced a walk through the woods over uneven ground and he didn’t know how far it was to the werewolf stronghold. He needed to know that she could walk the distance. If she couldn’t, he would place her on the horse. He would have to lead it through the wood regardless. The trees were closely packed and it would be difficult to find a clear path for them to ride down.

His eyebrows knitted into a frown and he looked back in the direction they had come. He would make her ride anyway. In fact, he wanted her back on the horse now. Shock widened her eyes when he grabbed her and lifted her back onto the saddle. She moved to sit astride it and took hold of the saddle’s horn as he took the reins.

“It’s better, really. I don’t need to ride. I’d like to walk a while.” She made a move to dismount and he placed a hand on her thigh,
stopping
her.

“It is better that you ride.”

She looked confused.

“Willem will know your scent and he will be searching for you. If you walked any great distance, your scent would be clearer to him. Besides our stay in the barn, we have only touched the ground for short periods and at great distances apart. It will be harder for him to track you if we maintain that.”

She still looked confused. He tugged on the horse’s reins and led it over to the gate. Unlatching it, he swung it open and then closed it behind the horse when it had passed through. He took hold of the reins again and walked up the gradual slope towards the woods.

They stank of werewolf. Nika’s scent he could bear, enjoy even, but this smell made his senses sharpen and his guard rise. He reached out with his senses and scanned the area when they reached the trees. Several signatures came back to him, all of them strong. He trod carefully, as quietly as he could, and kept his senses locked on each of the signatures, monitoring their movements. Right now, they were stationary. Perhaps they hadn’t noticed him yet, or they were waiting.

The horse snorted and kicked at the ground. Nika patted its neck but didn’t say a word. The worried look in her eyes told him that she had also sensed that they weren’t alone. Her instinct must be telling her that whomever the signatures belonged to, they were dangerous, because she didn’t speak a word, not even when she looked to him for reassurance. His free hand came to rest on the hilt of his sword. He smiled at her. If anyone came near her, he would kill them.

She removed his gloves, drew the dagger from its sheath at her waist and held it in front of her. He could see her hand trembling and could hear the thundering beat of her heart. She was frightened.

Instinctively he reached up and handed her the reins. She took them in one hand and held her dagger with the other. He should have asked her back at the gate whether she could ride. She seemed comfortable on a horse, but he wasn’t sure how capable she was. If the owners of the signatures attacked them before they reached the stronghold, he planned to make the horse bolt. Could Nika ride through these trees and escape the werewolves as he hoped she could?

One of the signatures moved on his senses.

Something told him that he would soon find out the answer to that question.

Another two began to move towards them. He glanced back through the forest. It wasn’t too far for her to ride if necessary. She could be away and into the open field before the werewolves could catch her.

Another four signatures appeared on his senses and he tightened his grip on the hilt of his sword, ready to draw it faster than a heartbeat if they attacked. He felt Nika’s gaze on him and looked up at her again. Her eyes were wide, her skin pale. He placed his hand on her thigh, reassuring her the only way he could.

The signatures all moved at once, closing in. Their speed increased and he frowned when he could hear them running through the forest. His eyes shifted to purple and his senses sharpened further as his abilities heightened. His bones moved and his teeth extended at the same time as his claws. Nika gasped. When he looked at her again, she was staring at his hand on her thigh. He looked around them at the woods and stopped dead.