Winters Heat (Titan) (35 page)

“Oh, honey, me neither,” Judith said. “I’m so sorry.”

Mia’s tears fell, and Judith kept her close. “I’m sorry to cry.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I miss him.”

“We all miss you.”

Mia wiped at her streaking makeup. “Thank you for saying that.”

“Alrighty, I had no intention of making either of us cry.” Mia didn’t even notice Judith’s watery glance until she’d said that. “You know how to get a hold of me, right? Please call. If you need anything, call me.”

“Sure. Thanks for coming by and for bringing Clara.”

“Of course. And again, I’m sorry to interfere—”

“Please. You’re not interfering, Judith. Besides, you can’t compare to Jared and Cash. They’ve made it their personal mission to make sure I’m okay. I’m like their adopted younger sister or something.”

Judith laughed.

Mia smiled. Cash had shown up, armed with jokes, and Jared had tried to act like a hard ass. He failed each time.

“I was surprised to see you and not one of them. The guys keep popping in. No idea how they’re getting on base.”

“They can get anywhere. That I’ve learned.” She gave a pause, possibly thinking what Mia thought. If they can get on base, Colby could’ve done the same. “Those boys. They’re like a nuclear, adrenaline-junkie, gun-toting family. Blowing stuff up and drinking beers together. They think I don’t know what all they do. But I know. And I’m proud of them.”

“Me, too.” With each passing moment, she missed him more and more.

“If he ever comes around, tail between his legs, I hope you’ll give him a second chance. That is, if you think he deserves it. I’ll see myself out. Take care, Mia.”

Clara reached her chubby fingers to Mia and called out gibberish again, sweet and innocent, as Judith walked them away.

Mia plopped into her chair, spun in mindless circles, and drifted to a stop. She shuffled papers and tried to ignore the jewelry-sized box under her desk. It beckoned to her, screaming for attention. She wheeled away from the desk and bent down to wrap her fingers around it, wishing she could crush it.

Everything happened for a reason. If nothing else, she now understood how family was supposed to feel. She deserved it. The deluxe package. A husband, kids, and a happily ever after.

She fingered the brown leather box and listened to the muffled rattle as she flipped it over again and again in her hand. Mia shut her eyes and pulled the top off, dumping the contents into her palm. Metal shards. Disfigured, corkscrewed, and hooked. Shrapnel.

For whatever the reason, Jared brought her the box with the metal fragments from Colby’s shoulder. It should have been gross, but it wasn’t. It served as a brutal reminder of the way Colby protected her from gunfire and explosions. That Colby would rather have died fighting than let her go down under his watch. But did he know losing him this way was just as terrible?

She tossed the box toward the trash can. The box bounced off the wall, remaining shut, and jumped to a dark corner under her couch, where it could stay.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Winters’s cell phone buzzed across the table, moving closer and closer to the edge. It was a cliff over the hardwood floor, and he’d let it careen off without hesitation. If it shattered, he’d have an excuse for not answering.

He heard the front door and knew his mom arrived. Another person he could ignore. This day hadn’t hit the bottom yet. She walked past him at the kitchen table and threw him a pitying smile. “Haven’t seen you since I took Clara with me on some errands last week, and you’re about as peachy as I saw you last. Is the baby napping?”

Winters grunted, digging at his fingernails with a tactile knife. There wasn’t dirt, blood, or grit to remove. He hadn’t been in the field since South America. Still, he moved on to the next fingernail. It was a nervous tic. Something to occupy his hands or his mind.

“Seen the guys?” she asked.

“You mean after that debacle you orchestrated with Cash last week? Nope.”

“Seen anyone lately?”

“Nope.”

She hovered. It made his skin crawl. Since he’d been home from the hospital, this was her modus operandi. Stand and watch. Stand and watch. Nothing said, but lots to say.

“Colby…”

Shit. Friendly fire was never friendly, and it was coming. Operation Stand and Watch was over. Did that mean Operation Bust His Balls was on deck?

He opted to go on silent mode and continue his weaponized manicure.

“Colby, you about ready to cut the crap?”

And Operation BHB was a go. He didn’t have the inclination to sit around for a lecture, so he stood. “Thanks, Mom. You don’t need to swing by if you don’t want to.”

She shook her head. “One day. You get one more day being a little tart before you’re done.”

“Christ, I don’t need this from you.” He fell back into his seat and stared at the ceiling.

“You do, ’cause no one’s giving it to you like they should.”

“Give me a—”

“You aren’t the only one in this family who knows how to kick ass. And now you’ve been warned.”

“Mom, leave it alone.” Yelling at his mother was the wrong thing to do, but here he was, ready to yell. “You don’t know what’s going on.”

“I know Mia.” She stalked over to him. “She’s the best thing in your life, next to Clara, and you’re hell bent on ruining it. If you haven’t done so already.”

“She’s not safe with me.” Why was this so hard for everyone to understand, and why did it even matter to them? “I did this for her.”

“That’s baloney, son, and you know it.”

He sheathed the knife and spun it on the table like a one-person game of spin the bottle. His frustration bumped up another level, into the red zone.

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” He was harsher than he wanted. An out of control panic pushed at him.

“You don’t have a plan, so you sit here, watching hours drift by? That’s not my son.”

“Shit, Mom. I just don’t know what to do.” He slammed his hands on the table and pinched his eyes closed. He needed a deep breath, but all that came were escalating angry ones. He opened his eyes, and his mother had her hands planted on her hips.

“Simple. Take that fire and fix what you broke.”

“Simple my ass.” What would he say? Mia would tell him to skip straight to hell, and he deserved that and worse. He kneaded the edge of the table. Anxious energy toyed with him.

“Colby, you’re getting one more day with your foul language. Then I’m done with that, too.”

“Mom, I struggle with…” He sagged. Where would he even begin?

“Things you can’t control? Things that you didn’t plan? Things that haven’t gone the Colby Winters way? Want me to keep going?”

No need for him to make the list. She apparently came prepared. Winters rubbed his jaw. “I’m crappy with things that I care about.”

She sighed. It wasn’t pitying as much as contemplative. “Oh, I don’t think that’s true. You’re amazing with Clara.”

“I didn’t have much choice with Clara.”

“Yes, you did, and you took it like a soft-hearted brute. Clara was the best thing that happened to you. Until Mia. Now, you’ve got two best things. Hopefully, one is still waiting for you.”

“She’s not waiting for me.”

“A broken-hearted woman might wait, hoping.”

“You don’t know Mia. She’s not the broken-hearted type.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Judith looked like she had more to say, but left it at that, and went about tidying the empty counter, picking at non-existent crumbs. “You have to man up and deal with your mess.”

There she was with a stick, poking him in the eye. “Man up? Come on.”

“Whatever you guys call it. Man up. Get your panties out of a wad. Put on your big boy shorts.
Grow a set.
”

“That’s the last thing Mia said to me.” He fought the stomachache that surfaced anytime he recounted his brilliant plan of avoidance.

“Smart woman.”

“Yeah. She’s smart. But not smart enough to run from me.”

“Lose the pity party, son. If Clara hadn’t arrived on your doorstep, we wouldn’t have grown close, and we wouldn’t have conversations like this. But we have, and we are. This is my opportunity to tell you that two wonderful girls are a part of your life.”

“She’s gone. I chased her away.”

She shrugged. “I didn’t take you for a wimp. And I never thought you’d walk away from a worthy fight.”

“What?” He didn’t expect for her to break out the name-calling. Everyone else but not her.

“You’re a superhero to the world, but when it comes down to it, I guess you’re scared.”

“Leave it alone.”

“I don’t know whether to feel ashamed I raised you like this or—”

“Christ, Mom. Back off.”

“You’re going to let her wander into someone else’s arms? There’s another man who could protect her better than you? Well, if that’s true—”

“Goddamn it.” Angry thumps of blood pounded in his ears, flooded his veins. His chest felt on the verge of explosion. Like hell another man would hold Mia, protect her, and care for her. He’d kill any man who tried.

Judith nodded toward the garage. “I’ve got Clara. See ya.”

Winters grabbed his cell phone and jumped from the table, knocking the chair over.

His phone buzzed in his hand. Fuck. Would people stop bothering him already? Winters grabbed the keys for his blacked-out, pumped-up truck. It suited his mood. Dark and ready to get the job done.

“Jared, what the hell do you want?” That roar should put a stop to the incessant, badgering calls. Get a clue, man. He was tired of everyone hanging on his nuts.

“This isn’t Jared.”

Mia’s short retort slammed him in the gut, and his heart jumped clear into his mouth. Christ almighty, he missed that woman.

“Mia, where are you?”

“Why?” She was quiet. Wary. Why did she call? Hell, who cared? She called, and that was all that mattered. If he could hear her for the rest of his life, it wouldn’t be long enough.

“Right now, doll. Where are you?”

He planned to go all alpha on her if she didn’t fess up in seconds. He needed to locate her fast. And fast wasn’t fast enough.

“At home. Why?”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes. Do. Not. Move.”

“You don’t even know where I live.”

“The hell I don’t.” He really should tone it down, or he’d scare her.

“You’re not invited.”

“Tough.”

“You’re at least a thirty minute drive from me.”

“Time me.” He checked his watch.

“I don’t want to see you. Come to my office tomorrow.”

Winters clicked off his phone. He didn’t want to know now why she called. She could say it to his face. Anything so that he had a fighting chance. His guts churned. Need spiked with overwhelming, raw emotion, making his muscles ache and his brain fuzzy. He skidded out the corner of his driveway, sliding sideways before he redlined the truck. Ten minutes. There was no doubt.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Mia’s front door flew open. She should have known better and locked the deadbolt. Not that a deadbolt would have kept Colby out.

Bright sunlight illuminated her dark den. She had pulled the blinds, hit the lights, and bunkered down for a sobfest, complete with blankets, junk food, a tissue box, and enough sappy movies to make Cinderella forget about her Prince Charming.

She’d been heartsick but tearless until the lonely night before, after she signed the paperwork. She went to bed an emotional mess and woke up ready for a cleansing release. Today was the day for it all to come out. And because of that, she had no need for anyone showing up uninvited, and standing there, blinding her, in all his sun-drenched glory.

Colby filled the entire doorway. She should have been surprised, but really, she was annoyed she didn’t expect it. Like he was just going to knock.

Mia paused her movie. The Bodyguard. What shitty timing. This was the perfect part, where Kevin Costner held Whitney Huston to his chest. If Colby barged in during her first viewing, he’d have caught her singing along to the soundtrack.

“Go away.” She turned back to her paused movie, finger on the play button, ready for his departure.

“We have to talk.”

“We did that already. Go away.” Mia snuggled further into the down comforter and eyed the mess of balled-up, tear-soaked tissues heaped on the floor.
How embarrassing. Couldn’t he just leave?
“I didn’t call you to invite you over.”

“I don’t care.”

“Glad to see we’re back to snippy sentences. Just like how it started, and how it should have stayed.” She picked up the spoon in the container of ice cream and took a huge bite, tasting both peanut butter and chocolate chunks. Double score. At least some things worked out. “I’ve got plans, and I don’t want you here.”