Winter's Embrace (10 page)

“Figure what out?”

“How I got so dang drunk. I had about three beers and
then the next thing I remember is waking up in my dorm room with Clare in my
bed.”

Winter gasped and then immediately put her hand over
her mouth. She didn’t want any interruptions.

“She was all bubbly, telling me that it had been the
best night of her life. All I could think of was you. I couldn’t believe I’d
betrayed you. A month later, Clare came to me and told me she was pregnant with
my child.”

The numbness began to wear away and a sharp pain in
her chest replaced it. Her heart squeezed painfully. She’d known all along that
it had been someone else. It was just hard to hear about it.

“Are you all right?”

She nodded, trying to wrap her mind around his story.
“Go on.”

“That was right before Thanksgiving break. It was the
hardest thing I’ve ever done, calling you. I’d planned to tell you and beg your
forgiveness, but it was too late.” Stone glanced away but not before she saw
a sheen
of tears in his eyes.

Silence lay between them for a time. Winter tried
unsuccessfully to get rid of the lump forming in her throat.

“I ruined your life, my life, and I thought Clare’s
life. I never did come home after that call. I knew I couldn’t face you. I
carried too much shame.”

The back of her throat burned. “I wanted you to come
home, but at the same time I was glad you didn’t. Something happened inside of
me, and my confidence spiraled to the ground. I couldn’t stay at school any
longer. I just couldn’t face anything or anyone and I just wanted to be left
alone on the ranch with my mom and dad.”

Stone gave her a sad smile. “Clare and I were married
that Christmas. She loved showing me off to her rich, fancy friends. I felt
like one of those—heck, what do you call them?
Trophy
husbands.
Later she told me she took one look and knew she had to have
me. She didn’t care at what cost.”

“What happened to that child?”

“I found out later that there never was a child. The
pregnancy was
fake
and she lied about the miscarriage.
I tried to leave her then but her parents wouldn’t hear of it. They actually
threatened me. I stayed, finished college, and bought this land.”

“Did Clare like it here?”

“No, she hated it, but by then I didn’t care. She had
her life and I had mine. I had command performances on the holidays and
political events. Otherwise, we didn’t see much of each other. About five years
into our marriage, she came to the ranch to stay, or so she said. That’s when I
found out about Rachael. Clare was pregnant and I knew the baby couldn’t be
mine. We never shared a room. We didn’t have a physical relationship.”

“How can you say she cheated on you? Rachael has your
eyes.”

“Rachael has the McCoy eyes, but not from me. You met
Stu, my cousin, a few times. Do you remember?”

“He looked a lot like you.”

“Right down to my gray eyes.”
Stone’s bleak expression tore her apart.

Winter began to fidget. She hadn’t planned to feel
sorry for Stone. The happy life she imagined he had wasn’t happy at all. “Does
Stu know?”

“No, she didn’t want to complicate things. She had
Rachael, stayed about a week, and left. She never even said goodbye.”

“I’m so sorry, Stone. Your life hasn’t been easy.”

Stone just stared at her as if he was memorizing her
face. “I’m not sorry about Rachael. She’s been the only light in my life for so
long until I found you.”

It all seemed illusory. His story sounded too bizarre.
Clare played with both their lives. One woman and her selfish desire ruined her
happiness, her self-confidence, her zest for life.

The house was so silent she could hear the kitchen
clock ticking. Her mind was anything but empty now. All shed just heard whirled
round and round, making it impossible for her to think clearly. Stone watched
her, waiting for her reaction, she supposed.

Needing to be alone to process it all, she quickly
went to her room. Clare was a piece of work, but Stone wasn’t blameless. Their
lies and actions hurt others. Stu hadn’t known he had a daughter and oh God,
what about Rachael? She could lose Rachael.

Sitting at the end of her bed, she hit the mattress
with her fist. No more lies or half-truths she wouldn’t allow it. How was she
supposed to trust Stone now? And how stupid was she, not demanding the truth?
No more pretending and hoping it was time to stand up and make Stone earn her
trust.

Chapter Nine

Last night had been emotional and Stone didn’t know
what to do or think. He tried to make sure
Winter
was
all right, but she told him that she just wanted to be left alone for a while.
The sadness in her voice nearly killed him.

Now she served him breakfast with anger written all
over her face. She didn’t say a
word,
she just set his
plate down. The circles under her eyes were proof of a sleepless night. She
hadn’t been alone in that department. He was running on fumes himself.

“Daddy, I think Santa is going to grant my wish.”

Stone couldn’t help but feel Rachael’s excitement.
“Oh yeah?
Have you been an extra good girl?”

With shining eyes, she jumped up and down in her
chair. “I’ve been extra good ‘
cause
my present is
really, really ‘
portant
.”

Stone glanced in
Winter’s
direction. Their eyes met for a brief moment before she turned away. “Well what
is this important present?”

The beam of her smile was contagious, and Stone found
himself smiling back.

“I asked Santa for a mama, and if she’s here on
Christmas day then it’s forever!” She climbed off the chair and ran to
Winter
, wrapping her arms around her legs.

Winter stared at him, silently pleading with him to
rescue her. Stone cocked his brow instead. Rachael wanted the same Christmas
gift he did.

“I thought you wanted a few new dresses for Faith?”
Winter glared at him.

“Yes, but a mama is the ‘
portant
gift. You get to wish and ask for one ‘
portant
thing
and Santa brings it to you if you are very, very, good.” Rachael’s earnest
expression turned
Winter’s
glare into tears.

Winter quickly turned her head away, but he could hear
her sniffle. Stone stood up and lifted Rachael into his arms, tickling her. She
squealed in delight. “Well we’ll just have to wait to see what the holiday
brings.”

“Santa, Daddy. I wrote to Santa so I am so, so
hopin
’ for my wish to come true.”

Stone hugged her close and kissed her neck making her
giggle. He kept one eye on
Winter
, who still had her
back to them, but he didn’t hear any more sniffles and he hoped it was a good
sign.

Finally, he’d told her the whole truth and it didn’t
seem to matter. The past was the past so why couldn’t she forgive him? So he
was a private person and didn’t tell everyone his business. What was so hard to
understand? She wanted more trust between them, but telling her the truth of
things didn’t help their relationship one bit.

What about her compassion from last night? Obviously,
she traded it in for a big dose of rage. Hell, he was the one who had to live
through the crazy mess he called a life, not her. No matter what he did, he
couldn’t get on
Winter’s
good side. All of his hopes
and dreams for their future were built around her and now he wasn’t sure what
to do or how to act.

Damned if he did, damned if he
didn’t.
It wasn’t as if she had anything going for her in
Eversville, Texas. He and Rachael were what she needed. Why was it so hard for
her to see it?

* * * *

For the life of her,
Winter
didn’t know what to think. Nothing had prepared her for Rachael’s plea for a
mother. That sweet little cherub was expecting one for Christmas and leaving
the whole mom thing for Stone to explain to Rachael had been a big mistake. He
hadn’t even discussed it with her. It would be hard to be a mother living in a
different house. The burden on her shoulders became heavier.

Stone didn’t deserve her hostility, but it was so much
to take in. He’d been tricked into a loveless marriage and his wife cheated on
him. It made her drab life seem happy. He did get a blessing through it all. He
received a beautiful, loving, daughter. A daughter he wanted to share with her
and truthfully, she did want to be Rachael’s mom. Why wasn’t anything involving
Stone easy?

They needed to talk. She needed to tell him that she
understood even if she still didn’t trust him. The only problem was that he
left and hadn’t come home yet.

“Sweetheart, it’s almost
time
for bed.”

Rachael looked up from her coloring book.
“Nope.”

“What do you mean no?”

“I have to wait for my daddy. He
probly
went to find me a mother. I know that sometimes parents have to help Santa.”

Her little heart shaped face looked sad and stubborn.
Winter had dealt with stubborn before. “He’ll probably be back soon and you
don’t want him upset that you didn’t go to bed, do you?”

“I’m staying right here. It’ll
probly
take a bit of time to find the right one.” Rachael’s chin went up and she
folded her arms.

“I thought you wanted me to be your mama?” Winter held
her breath, afraid of the answer.

A giant tear rolled down Rachael’s face. “You don’t
want to be my mama.”

Snoopy let out a sad howl.

“Oh, honey, why would you think that?” Winter picked
up Rachael and settled her on her lap while her heart broke. Rachael had become
a part of her and it wasn’t fair to leave her hanging for an answer.

“I just know. Daddy says I’m the best people reader. I
know this stuff. You don’t want me, and you don’t want my daddy.” Rachael
buried her face in
Winter’s
neck. Her tears came
faster and faster.

Winter rocked her and stroked her back. “I do want to
be your mama. Rachael, look at me.”

Rachael let go of
Winter’s
neck and leaned back, looking into Winter’s eyes.
“Really?”
Winter kissed her forehead.
“Yes, really.”
She hugged
Rachael to her again. Stone stood in the doorway, looking pleased.

“Rachael, I think we both are getting our Christmas
wishes.”

Rachael turned and jumped off
Winter's
lap. “Daddy,
Winter
is going to be my mama!”

Stone bent down and scooped his daughter up. They both
sported happy grins. “Are you sure?” He stared at
Winter
.

Oh God, was she making a mistake? Gazing back at his
earnest face made it hard to think. The Stone she knew used to be so open and
honest. He finally came clean about a lot of things, but why hadn’t he just
told her everything in the first place? Her heart overflowed with love as she
glanced at Rachael but it filled with doubt when she looked back at Stone. He’d
have to earn her trust back and, for Rachael’s sake, she hoped he succeeded.
Deep down she knew he’d try for Rachael and that they both had her best
interest at heart.

Winter felt tears forming. “I’m sure.”

Snoopy ran in circles, excited. His tail knocked
Winter’s
mug off the coffee table. Suddenly, he barked.

“Snoopy wants you to be his mommy too!”

“Of course, I’d be honored to be
Snoopy’s
mom, but your daddy will still clean up after him.”

Stone laughed. “Not a problem.”

He pulled her into his arms, but it was too soon. She
took a step back and saw the hurt in his eyes.
“One step at a
time, Stone.
I need to take it slow.”

His arms fell to his sides and his shoulders sagged
slightly, but he put on a smile and nodded. “Rachael we need to get you to
bed.”

“Mommy will help me. Right, Mommy?”

The sides of her mouth turned upward.
“Of course.”
She took Rachael’s hand and led her to her
room.

* * * *

Stone wasn’t sure what he’d done right to deserve such
as gift as
Winter
. They wouldn’t need the other house
after all. Joy filled him; she was staying.

“Still up?”

He looked up at
Winter
and
gave her a boyish smile as he reached out his hand to her. “Come sit next to
me, we have a lot to talk about.”

She sat on the couch beside him but kept her distance.
“I want you to know that my being Rachel’s mother is separate from our
relationship. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I know you’ve been through
hell with Clare and I’m sorry for that but your actions affected my life
drastically. It’s hard to explain, but I feel as though I stopped growing as a
person when we broke up and I owe it to myself to take time to explore myself.”

“Explore? I don’t know what you mean. Are you
leaving?”

“No, for instance, what is my favorite color or my
favorite band?”

“Blue and Maroon 5.”

“No, those were your favorites. I never chose for
myself, just went with the crowd.
It’s
little things
like that I need to ask myself and discover. I’ve let people walk all over me
since forever and I want to try to break out of my shell.”

His shoulders shrugged, “I guess I don’t entirely
understand but I’ll help you.”

“This is something I have to do myself.”

The way her head tilted and her eyes pleaded for
understanding he decided to go along with whatever she was talking about. “If
you need me, you know where to find me.”

Grabbing his hand, she gave it a quick squeeze before
she let go and stood up. “I knew you’d get it. No more kissing me until I’m
sure.”

“What if I could make you want to kiss me?”

Laughter rang out. “What movies have you been
watching? Our life is not a made-for-TV romance.”

He shook his head. “We’ll see what happens.”

“Goodnight, Stone.”

He watched her walk away still trying to figure out
what she was talking about.
Of course she
knows what she likes and dislikes. She’s always liked blue.
Clenching his
fists, he wondered if her whole “trying to find herself” was code for “see ya
later.” The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. She was kicking him
to the curb and the whole space thing was her way of letting him down easy.
What a fool. She had him twisting in the wind and he allowed it to happen. From
now on, she could have all the space she needed.