Winter Storm (17 page)

Rebecca still hadn’t been home, so after the impromptu visit to their neighbors, Callie drove to the library. She had some research to do that she could have just as well done at home, but Maggie wanted to return some books and get new ones.

When they finally returned for good, Maggie went to her room to get her book for the club. Callie walked into the dining room, stopping cold at the sight.

“I hope you’ll be a little hungry,” Rebecca said with a smile.

“I…guess.”

Callie hadn’t been prepared to find a candlelight dinner, a fire flickering in the fireplace. Rebecca was wearing a short black dress with long sleeves, little makeup, and a new perfume.

“Wow.” At that moment, Callie felt bad that she’d even given Nicole the time of day earlier. On the other hand, she had no idea what the occasion was. “It’s no anniversary, I’d know that. It would be bad, because I’m not dressed for it, and I didn’t get you a gift.”

“Don’t worry. We’ve had some crazy few days,” Rebecca said. “Just to…slow down a little, you know?”

“I’m sorry I left you with all this work, but we stayed longer than we thought.”

“You like Delia?” There was an edge audible, just barely.

Callie shrugged. “She’s okay.”

“I’m sorry for my pathetic attempt at getting drunk last week. I was out of line. I’m sorry for embarrassing you.”

“You didn’t.”

“I embarrassed myself,” Rebecca said, not smiling anymore. “I can’t even get drunk like other people and let loose.”

“What did you want to do, dance on the table?” Callie wasn’t sure whether she was supposed to take this seriously or not.

“Why not? When I was in college, a friend of mine did pole dancing for a while. She was really good at it. I was jealous, because it was something I would have never dared.”

“I must admit that makes me kind of glad. What is so great about losing your clothes in front of strangers?”

“You’re right,” Rebecca mused. “I’d rather lose my clothes in front of you.”

All of a sudden, it seemed hot in the room, which had nothing to do with the fireplace. Callie missed her moment to come up with an appropriate answer, because the doorbell rang, and Maggie appeared, ready to tackle an in-depth literary discussion.

Jenny and her daughter Stella brought in a gust of cold air. Callie thought with some amusement that it was the equivalent of a cold shower, not that it would last for long.

“Oh, you guys are planning something special. Got an anniversary?”

“Kind of,” Rebecca said pleasantly. “Thanks for driving the girls. I believe it’s my turn next week.”

“Yes, already.” Jenny chuckled. “They read too damn fast. I’ll have Maggie home at eight at the latest.”

“Okay. Have fun.”

“You too,” Maggie said innocently and followed Jenny and Stella outside. Rebecca closed the door behind them and joined Callie in the living room.

“Okay, let’s try this again.” She poured a glass of wine for each of them and handed Callie hers.

“To the truth.”

Callie let their glasses clink together, but she didn’t know whether to be worried or pleased. “Is everything really okay?”

“Oh, it’s never been that okay. I’ve been thinking…and I realized I haven’t been fair to you. I let myself be torn into every which direction by everyone who thinks they’re entitled to an opinion about my life. Screw them.”

Callie couldn’t stifle the smile. Coming from Rebecca, the use of swear words was adorable.

“I’m sick and tired of letting everyone tell me what I want. I know that perfectly.” She set her glass aside, taking a step closer.

“I want you. I might have made mistakes, and for sure I’ve been unaware of what you’ve been going through all your life, but I know who I am. Whatever that makes me. I’ve never wanted anyone so badly.”

“Rebecca.” Callie let herself be pulled close, reveling in the kiss, the gentle touch of hands caressing and starting to undress her.

“Is this okay?”

“Anything you want.”

“No,” Rebecca whispered. “It’s not just about me all the time.”

Callie was neither in the mood nor the position to argue. Honestly, the concerns that Rebecca had voiced when under the influence hadn’t been on her mind in the first place. She had nothing to complain about in their shared life, but if this was a fantasy that put Rebecca’s mind at ease, she didn’t mind. The seduction scene, Rebecca making love to her in the late afternoon, she welcomed it all.

“So that’s how you wanted to make sure I’d be hungry for dinner,” she teased, caressing Rebecca’s slightly disheveled hair.

“No. That’s how I want to show you how much I love you, no matter what anyone says.”

“I know. Don’t worry about that.”

The moments ticked by, and Callie thought she could easily fall asleep like that, warm and comforted, a sweet lethargy taking over her body. She’d been scared, too, more than she’d wanted to admit to herself. It would be all right, if they were just strong enough, and so far, she had no reason to doubt that.

The doorbell rang.

“For Christ’s sake. Sorry.” Rebecca looked a little guilty even though it wasn’t entirely clear to whom. They both quickly straightened their clothes. Callie followed Rebecca to the door, watching her open it to…

“No way. Nicole, this is—”

“Inappropriate,” Rebecca finished her sentence. “Unless you came to give me the money you still owe me for your whiskey.”

“What?” Callie wasn’t sure she had understood that correctly.

Nicole smiled. “Never mind.” She looked Callie up and down. “So, I assume you didn’t know. Anyway, my rental broke down, so I was hoping that even though you both hate me, I could call someone from here.” She walked inside, unimpressed by Rebecca’s startled look or Callie’s glare at her.

“Why don’t you use your cell phone? Why are you in the area anyway? Oh, whatever, I don’t even care.”

“You were friendlier earlier today,” Nicole remarked. Callie saw Rebecca’s questioning gaze, unable to meet her eyes for longer.

“Being friendly to you is always a mistake as it seems. Now make that call and go.”

“You’re in a hurry. I didn’t interrupt anything? Oops,” Nicole said. “I guess I did.” Callie realized they hadn’t cleaned up well enough, as her bra was clearly visible, half underneath the couch cushion.

“By the way, Rebecca, did you get in touch with that counselor yet?”

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” Rebecca’s tone would have been cool enough for anyone to get the message—anyone but Nicole. “If you don’t leave this house within the next five minutes, I’ll call the sheriff.”

“No, you won’t,” Nicole said cheekily. “You know it’s true. Why else would you meet the new bigot in town once more?”

“I didn’t…wait.”

“That’s right.” Nicole smiled. “I go to church too.”

“Callie, come on, you don’t believe that. I didn’t go to talk to him again—all I wanted was a moment for myself. Obviously, that’s not even possible in church anymore. I’m going to call Bev now.”

“A pretend family. Children need both mother and father.”

“Those were his words, not mine!”

Callie had the bad feeling that she should have stopped this interaction minutes ago. Deep down, she always known that it had been a mistake to encourage Nicole. She was also disappointed. This was how much Nicole’s claims to have changed to the better were worth.

“Whatever you’re trying here, it’s not working. You lied to me many times, so guess who I believe right now.”

“Okay. Then just ask her why she brought the booklet home if she never thought about using that contact information.”

“This is ridiculous,” Callie said with conviction. Rebecca might have to catch up on a few facts, but she had Reynolds figured out.

“Have you even seen that paper, Callie? They condemn what we are. Go, look into her purse. If your girlfriend was as wonderful as you’d like her to be, she wouldn’t have brought this crap home with her.”

“Rebecca?” This couldn’t be true. Tonight was meant to be a new beginning, not the opposite.

“Have you all gone crazy? I forgot about the damn leaflet. I put it in my purse, yes, but not because I was planning to use that number.”

“It’s what you say now,” Nicole said, triumph shining in her eyes. “I’ll let you two figure this out. In any case, it seems like you have some things to talk about. I’ll just make that one call and go.”

“Callie.” With regard to Nicole’s continued presence, Rebecca’s voice had dropped to a painful whisper. “I never said these things. You need to believe me.”

“Shh. We’re not discussing this while she’s still here. Nicole? Are you done?”

“You tell me to go. Fine.” Nicole gave her a long considering look. “The sex must be amazing for you to put up with all of this. Bye.”

They stood in silence for a moment after the door fell into its lock.

“You must believe me,” Rebecca said. “It was a rather unpleasant conversation. I wanted to get out. Hell…” She laughed unhappily. “If I even considered this for a second, I certainly wouldn’t see some counselor favored by Father Reynolds. Frankly, I dislike him more every time I talk to him.”

“Can I see?” It was true that Nicole had lied to her before. Callie wanted to believe that Rebecca wouldn’t be so naïve to fall for the hateful words. She just couldn’t make sense of the scene that was unfolding, all the implications that Nicole’s accusations held. There was no denying Rebecca was going through a difficult time. However, Dina’s teenage woes would have become an issue at some time anyway. That had nothing to do with Rebecca’s rather complicated coming-out.

“Please, let me just throw it out. Burn it if that makes you feel better. You can’t believe…I told the truth! I told everybody. How much more proof do you need?”

“You told everybody after I nearly got raped, and then you couldn’t take it back.”

It was true, Callie tended to test partners, a long-term habit of needing an assurance that they wouldn’t leave her. Asha had shrugged it off. Nicole had thrown a plate at her.

Rebecca just stared at her in disbelief for a moment, then she turned away and walked out of the room.

“Where are you going?”

“What is it with you, Callie? Go, look at that paper if you must. I have no idea what’s even in it, and I don’t care to find out. I wasn’t going to call that counselor to see if he could make me any less gay. Granted, there’ve been some tough times, but I thought it was all worth it. I’m not so sure anymore.”

The cold shiver down her spine turned into an icy grip of fear.

“Rebecca, don’t go. That’s just the way Nicole is. She manipulates everyone.”

Rebecca buttoned her coat in angry quick movements, reaching for her scarf.

“Maybe, but you believe her anyway, because she’s a real lesbian like you. I get it.”

“Please, don’t—”

Rebecca slammed the door behind her. Moments later, Callie heard the engine of her car.

“Damn you, Nicole,” she whispered, wiping a hand over her face. This time though, it wasn’t just Nicole’s doing. She walked back into the kitchen. They’d never even made it to dinner, and minutes from now, Maggie would return. At a loss of what to do, she sat at the table and cried.

Even when your dreams came true, nobody promised they’d last forever. Callie jumped to her feet. She wasn’t ready to let go yet. She couldn’t just sit here and give up. She had to find Rebecca. Where would she go though? The church was probably the last place at the moment. Roz? Callie didn’t even know her address. Since they picked up Saturday brunch again, they hadn’t met at Roz’s yet. Callie stepped outside, shivering as the snowflakes brushed against her face, but determined.

The roads had been icy like this the night Maria Lowman, Rebecca’s sister-in-law, died.

Callie was scared. Rebecca hadn’t taken her cell phone, so she couldn’t reach her that way. She had to find her though. Soon.

An idea sprang to mind, and all of a sudden, she knew where to go. When she put on her boots, the phone rang. Debating with herself for a second, Callie picked up.

“I’m sorry, this is not a good moment, we—”

When she was quickly interrupted, she listened.

“Oh, my God. No. Of course, I’ll wait here.”

The clock in the living room showed 8:15 p.m.

At this moment, scared didn’t even begin to cover the state of Callie’s mind.

Chapter Eight

“Not fair of you to leave me alone,” Rebecca mumbled, shaking in the cold wind. In her haste, she had forgotten about gloves. “I could really use some of your sage advice, because I keep messing up.”

Of course there was no answer. There would never be any. It was kind of ironic. Maria hadn’t been that much older or experienced. It was just the way she had handled life that Rebecca had admired endlessly. She never questioned her identity or let anyone else do it. Rebecca missed her. This friendship, however, was another part of her old life she never be able to get back.

Maybe it was true—maybe they’d rushed into their relationship when there was nowhere else to go, but with lives on the line other than their own, there wasn’t much time to waste. She hadn’t meant to hurt Callie. Rebecca was just tired of trying to find ways to get over her own insecurities, constantly failing. Therapy might do her some good, if not of the kind Father Reynolds had suggested. Callie was overcoming a trauma of her own. Rebecca thought she took up too much space lately.