Winter of Discontent (Four Seasons Book 1) (10 page)

Chapter Seventeen – Ghosting

Erik

‘What the hell are you playing at?’ I demanded, when Dad finally got home.

‘I’ve no idea what you mean.’

‘What have you said to her?’

‘What are you implying, Erik? I just offered to take her home. Simple as that. You’re getting paranoid.’ He smiled.

I knew my dad. I knew he was lying. I thought about texting Sarah to ask her if she was OK but I didn’t. Whatever had gone on, I figured it would be better to speak to her than try to talk in a text. I would have Whispered to her but she wasn’t skilled enough to receive over that distance yet; she still needed to be able to see me to Whisper. In the end I just went up to my room and watched TV for a while. I was just thinking of turning in when Jared came up to see me.

‘Alright, E?’

I shrugged my shoulders. ‘I guess. I just wish I knew what had gone on.’

‘How do you mean?’

‘Dad has said something to Sarah but I don’t know what.’

‘Don’t be daft. He would never do anything to upset you. You know that.’

‘Normally I would agree, I wouldn’t hesitate. But not where Sarah is concerned. You saw him when she first arrived. And it’s not just that. I have a connection with her that I haven’t had with anyone else, not ever. I sense her, I sense her feelings and her fears and I sense something now. Even over this distance, I can sense it.’

‘Are you sure you’re not just being a bit oversensitive about him taking her home without you?’

‘No. But tell me, why did he do that? Why didn’t he want me to go with him, if he had nothing to hide? He won’t tell me while he’s in this mood, but I will find out.’

Jared tried to be understanding, to be supportive, but it wasn’t great for him, stuck in the middle like he was.

The following morning I got up early, showered, changed, then headed out to Sarah’s around 6.30 a.m. When I arrived at her aunt’s, the blinds were still drawn so I sat on the wall opposite waiting for signs of life. I’d been there at least an hour, dying of boredom. I knew I shouldn’t have done it; I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t help it. I was sixteen, struggling to contain my natural urge to practise, and I was bored stupid! There was no one around, not a soul in sight. I sat, hands palm side up, and concentrated. In my mind, I had crossed the road, walked down the path, and into the house. I checked the lounge first; there was no one there, no one in the kitchen either. I hesitated for a moment, just a moment, mind you, before I left the lounge and started to climb the stairs. I stopped just before I reached the top. Her aunt was just waking and I could hear her getting out of bed. I moved onto the landing outside the room at the top on the right hand side. I knew instinctively that this was Sarah’s room. I turned to move through the door. Just then, her aunt came out of her room and walked across the landing and straight through me; she didn’t see or feel anything. I knew I should have left then, should have just broken the link and waited outside like any decent Warlock would have; like my brother would have; my father even – but I didn’t. I moved through the door and into Sarah’s room.

I couldn’t help but just stand and stare at her. She made the cutest little noises whilst she slept and her eyes were darting backwards and forwards. Clearly she was dreaming of something, of someone. I stood thinking, wondering whether it was me she was dreaming of. It was just too tempting. I had far more power, far more abilities than I’d ever made her aware of. In some ways I’d kept it to myself for fear of frightening her off. I would never intentionally do anything to scare her, to make her want to break up with me but, stood here watching her sleep, I just had to know what was going on in her head. I took a deep breath as I prepared to go inside her mind, to see her thoughts, her dreams. I was barely moments away when suddenly …

‘Sarah, are you awake yet?’ came a voice and a knock at the door.

She stirred slightly; I could see she had on PJs so I didn’t feel the need to leave just yet. I loved her way too much to be some kind of peeping Tom; I’d never use my power to treat her so badly. I just wanted to be close to her. I was wide awake and waiting just across the road – what I was doing was harmless and she need never know. Or so I thought.

She started to stretch out her arms, her eyes still tight shut. She started to mumble.

‘Yeah, I’m up!’

She smiled, clearly knowing she wasn’t actually up. I grinned helplessly, but not for long.

‘Erik! What the hell …?’

I withdrew quickly. What had happened? She saw me. How the hell could she have seen me? Panicked I got up from the wall and ran off down the street. This couldn’t happen. She couldn’t have seen me. I hadn’t gone far when my phone started to vibrate. I didn’t need to check it, I knew it was her.

‘Good morning. This is a nice surprise.’ I tried to sound as relaxed as I could.

‘What the hell were you doing in my bedroom? And don’t say you weren’t there. I saw you.’

‘I can explain …’

She cut me off before I could finish.

‘You’d better. Where are you?’

‘Just around the corner.’

‘Fine. I’ll see you in half an hour.’

She wasn’t happy. How could I have been so stupid? You’d think by know I’d have learned my lesson. This was the second time in as many weeks I’d used magic that had upset her. As I walked back to meet her, I had a feeling I hadn’t really experienced before. I felt scared. Terrified, in fact. Terrified she wouldn’t forgive me this time.

As I walked, properly this time, down the path and towards the house, I thought I might explode, I felt that nervous. I didn’t get chance to knock, as Sarah’s aunt opened the door just as I stepped up to it.

‘Hello there. You’re early, I’m not even sure Sarah is up yet. Do you want to come in? I’ll give her a shout.’

I’d only met Suzanne once before and to be honest I’d never really taken much notice of her. She was really pretty. I know there was no blood connection between them but it kind of made sense that as Sarah was so lovely, her aunt would be too.

‘Hey you,’ she shouted up the stairs, ‘you have a visitor!’

I went into the lounge and sat on the chair by the hearth. My insides were shaking. I could sense her anger now, it was really strong, overwhelming, but there was something else, something worse than anger. Disappointment. She felt disappointed in me. In sixteen years I’d never cried, not as a child and not now as a young man but I swear I thought in that moment I was gonna break down in front of her, and in front of her aunt. The emotion, the strength of her feelings was overpowering me; I struggled to keep my breathing steady. I wanted to stand up and walk out but how could I? If I stood any chance of keeping her I had stay, I had to stay and face what I had done, explain myself, apologize, and beg forgiveness. The look on her face as she walked into the lounge though told me this might be a battle I was gonna lose.

‘Good morning, sleepyhead,’ said her aunt, oblivious to how Sarah was feeling. ‘Coffee?’

‘Erm … no I’m good, thanks. I need to speak to Erik. Come on, let’s go for a walk.’

I stood up and went to kiss her on the cheek – she pulled away. It felt like I’d been knifed through the heart. I wanted to cry out in pain; this was the most un-Warlock-like I’d ever felt. This wasn’t good.

We ended up sitting on the wall across the road where this whole sorry mess had started.

‘Well?’

She stared at me coldly. I felt so ill at ease I thought I might hurl.

‘I’m sorry, I …’

‘So you
were
there? I can’t believe you did that, like some cheap thrill!’

She stood up to walk back to the house. I knew there and then if I let her go I might never get her back.

‘Please don’t go. Let me explain at least.’

‘No. I’ve had enough of your magic. You could use it for so many things but you choose to abuse me with it.’

‘What? I’ve never abused you.’

‘Really? First you rape my memories and then perv on me while I’m sleeping. What if I’d been naked? It’s disgusting. If I were the one with the magic I would never do that to you, to anyone. So no, I won’t let you explain, you don’t have that right.’

She was crying now and I had no idea how to make her stop without using yet more magic. Unconsciously I had turned my hands palm side up, I was just seconds away from making yet another mistake.

‘Don’t you dare!’ she screamed as she slapped me hard across the face. ‘Don’t you ever use magic on me or around me again. I hate you!’

I let her go. As she ran across the road and into the house I knew I hadn’t lost her. I just needed to give her space. After all, she couldn’t say she hated me if she didn’t actually have feelings for me.

Chapter Eighteen – Misunderstandings

Sarah

Aunt Suze ran up the stairs after me. ‘Sarah, what on earth is wrong?’

I couldn’t tell her – well, I couldn’t tell her everything.

‘I hate him, Aunt Suze. He ... he ... oh hell, I don’t know really. He just says and does the wrong thing. I’ve told him that some of the things he does upsets me but he still does them anyway.’

Aunt Suze looked angry, like she could hit someone.

‘When you say he does things, what things? Physical things?’

‘No. No. No, I didn’t mean that.’

Shit, I’d just made things worse. Aunt Suze now thinks he’s been forcing himself on me.

‘Well what then? I have all sorts going through my head now.’

‘It’s nothing. It’s probably just me, hormones or something.’

I tried to laugh it off, although laughing was the last thing I felt like doing.

I spent the rest of the day arguing with myself over how I’d handled things. I went back and forth between anger and guilt. I hadn’t really given him chance to explain but, then again, why should I? I wasn’t the one in the wrong. Not the most mature of attitudes I know, but right now I didn’t feel like being mature. I felt like crying like a baby, or screaming like one. I’d had enough shit from his dad and I was starting to think that perhaps Erik and I would be better apart. In all honesty, I didn’t think like that for long. I know I’d said I hated him but I didn’t; I was crazy about him. After the anger and guilt came the worry. What if he decided he didn’t want to see me anymore? What if I’d been snoring when he came into my room, would he still want to sleep with me? Although that wasn’t so much of a concern, Erik had made it quite clear that sex wasn’t something he wanted to do any time soon. Don’t get me wrong – we had passion, a lot of passion. Unfortunately it stopped at kissing. Sometimes, when we really got going, I thought I might faint, I got that aroused. We would be just short of tearing our clothes off when Erik would stop, bury his face into my neck, wait till his breathing had settled, and then take me home. His breathing was quite odd when he got worked up. I put it down to being a Warlock thing and didn’t concern myself with it; I actually found the intensity quite a turn-on. It was almost an animalistic thing, like raw sexual tension. But would we ever take that next step? Well, if he didn’t stop using magic on me without my permission then it was highly unlikely.

It was quite late Saturday afternoon when the phone rang. As it was the landline, I didn’t think it wouldn’t be Erik, so I left it for Aunt Suze to answer.

‘I’ll get it shall I, then?’

She raised her eyebrows in mock annoyance but I knew she was OK with it.

‘Hello, who’s calling?’

There was a pause whilst she was obviously listening to whoever it was on the line.

‘Sarah. It’s for you.’

My stomach turned somersaults. Erik had called my cell earlier in the afternoon but I’d ignored it. Clearly he thought he was being smart by ringing the home phone. I’d wanted to call him back, but then again I
didn’t
want to call him back. Now he was calling me, at least I had the choice to refuse to take his call. For Christ’s sake, is love always this confusing?

‘Who is it?’ I said, as cool as you like and just loud enough for the caller to hear me.

‘Well, get off your butt and take the phone and you’ll see.’

Now that wasn’t the answer I wanted. I wanted to be able to keep him waiting, to be the one in control. It was my turn to raise my eyebrows. I took a deep breath as I took the phone from Aunt Suze.

‘What?’

‘What do you mean “what”?’ How about: “Hi Daddy, I’ve really missed you.”?’

‘Oh my God. I’m so sorry. I thought you were someone else. Hi, Daddy, I’ve really missed you.’

I
had
missed him. We didn’t get to talk that often, with the difference in time zones, and this was just what I needed. Of course, I couldn’t discuss normal boys with my dad, let alone a Warlock boy, but it was great, just what I needed today.

‘So when am I going to see you again, Daddy?’

‘How about Thanksgiving?’

‘Really?’

‘I’ve been redeployed. Fort Bragg, North Carolina. I’m coming home, sweetheart.’

I was over the moon. It would be great to be able to just jump on a plane and be with him in a couple of hours. I don’t think I realized until that moment just how much I did miss him. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to go back to that way of life again, but it would be great to see him more.

After I’d put the phone down, I felt so much better. So much so that I decided I would take Erik’s call next time he rang. Unfortunately, I was gonna have a long wait.

Having not heard from Erik again over the weekend, I figured I’d catch up with him at school on the Monday. Not so, he wasn’t there. Nor Tuesday. Nor Wednesday. By Thursday, I was getting a bit concerned and decided to call him. No answer. I didn’t want to call his home phone in case his dad answered, so I spent most of Thursday and Friday getting quite worked up about not knowing what was going on. In the end, just after school finished for the week I finally plucked up the courage to call the house. No damned answer there either! By now, I was getting really pissed about it. Perhaps he’d dumped me. Perhaps his phone had caller display so he knew it was me and just ignored it. Perhaps he’d finally gotten caught out doing magic and the Tracers had found them. This last thought was terrifying, so much so that I felt I was gonna physically hurl. I can’t begin to tell you the relief I felt when I turned the corner to our street to see him sat on the wall opposite our house.

I crossed over and sat a couple of inches away from him. He spoke first.

‘Hi, sorry I didn’t call you back. I needed some time to think. We also had to go to Canada to sort some stuff out. We went Tuesday morning, only just got back.’

‘Oh right, OK.’

I felt better at this point; at least he hadn’t just ignored me. I’d wanted to punish him for whatever it was he’d done to get into my room but I knew I didn’t want to lose him. As soon as he apologized again I would forgive him, that much at least I was sure of. I stayed silent, waiting for the inevitable ‘
Sorry, please forgive me’
.

‘I wanted to come round straight away, you know, to talk.’

I just nodded as I waited for
the words
. I wanted to hug him, to kiss him, and to tell him I forgave him.

‘It’s just that, well, I didn’t want you hearing it from someone else.’

‘Hear what?’ I was confused. This certainly didn’t feel like an apology.

‘I’ve met someone else. We’re getting engaged.’

I heard the words but I didn’t react. I was numb. Surely I must have misheard him. Eventually I spoke but all I could manage was ‘What?’

‘I’m getting engaged. I knew after we last spoke that it was never gonna work between us. Just too many differences. Anyway, I met Jess at a friend’s house and we just clicked. She’s come back with us. Like I said, I didn’t want you hearing it from someone else.’

By now I’d gotten a few thoughts together. I didn’t want to believe what he’d said. I wanted to shout at him and tell him not to be so cruel. But I didn’t.

‘Right, OK. I’d better get back, good luck; I hope it all works out for you.’

‘Are you sure you’re OK?’

NO!
I screamed to myself. I wasn’t OK, I wasn’t OK at all, but I couldn’t let him see that. I just nodded and headed off across the road.

‘I could make it easier for you.’

I stopped at the kerbside and just shook my head.

‘No need. I’d rather remember just how bad this feels. Then perhaps I’ll never let anyone hurt me like this again. I just hope, for her sake, you don’t lie to her the way you’ve lied to me. I believed you loved me when all along you were just laughing at me. “Poor little mortal girl, hasn’t a clue, let’s have some fun”.’

‘It wasn’t like that. Honestly.’

‘Honestly? You don’t know honestly. Now go crawl back under your stone, I don’t ever want to speak to you again.’

I could hear him protesting as I walked away but I just ignored him and went into the house. I didn’t run upstairs like I had last week. That had upset Aunt Suze and I didn’t want to do that again. Instead, I just came into the lounge smiling and talking like all was well. I put on a brave face but inside I was dying. My only high point here was that I felt I dealt with it all with dignity. He might have dumped me from a great height but I didn’t beg and cry like some girls do when their boyfriends break things off. I may not have had Erik but at least I had my self-respect.