Winter Jacket (24 page)

"Not appropriate dinner conversation," I grit out between clenched teeth.

"Oh, we're all adults here," Ruby breezed. "Or at least most of us are."  The wink she threw at Hunter was over the top.

Hunter
's hand found my knee beneath the table. She steadied me before my anger got the best of me and I made a scene.
Thankfully the  waiter returned with our food and the uncomfortable conversation was tabled while we ate. Despite Ruby's presence, my stuffed gnocchi in basil cream sauce was worth the trip. I'd have to bring Hunter back here, just the two of us, so we could have a do-over.

"I hope you're saving room for dessert,”
Ruby announced near the end of the meal. “I read some great reviews about their raspberry mousse." Just when I thought Ruby was finally acting like a human being and I was starting to relax, she opened her mouth again. "Or we could get a To Go box and bring it back to my hotel room." She laughed at something, but I didn’t see the humor. "Remember that time I brought chocolate sauce to your apartment, Elle, and you got so upset with me for staining your sheets?"

Hunter
wiped at her mouth with her napkin and set it on her half-finished dinner plate. "Excuse me," she said, the words mumbled under her breath. She stood from her chair and I rose as well.

I
reached for her before she could run off. I caught her wrist and I kissed near her temple. "I'm sorry about her," I said for only her to hear.

"It's okay, Ellio.
You warned me." Her hand went to the side of my face and my heart fluttered at the endearment. "I'll be right back. Just going to the bathroom."

"Don't be long," I murmured, unabashedly leaning into the touch. "I'll miss you." I let my hand linger in the small of her back.
 I couldn't help myself. My hands wanted to be touching her all the time and dinner had been long enough.

I sat down when she left the table to go to the restroom. "You two are so cute, it makes me want to puke,"
Ruby snorted. I didn't appreciate the way her gaze followed the slight sway of my girlfriend's backside. While I flushed with anger at her lack of decorum, I couldn't deny how much I loved referring to Hunter as
my girlfriend.
I hoped she would be okay with it.

"You lack subtlety."

Her eyes didn't stray. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Stop hitting on my girlfriend," I snapped. "
And stop rubbing her nose in our past.  It's not cute."

"I was just thinking about how much fun the three of us could have together."

"Never going to happen," I growled.

She turned her eyes toward me. "Ho
w about just you and me then?"

"What part of I-have-a-girlfriend don't you understand?" I hissed.

"Never stopped you before," she shrugged.

"That's not who I am anymore.”

Ruby leaned in and lowered her voice. 

“Give me one night, Elle.  One fuck.  That’s all I’m looking for; then I’ll be out of your life forever.” A vicious smile crept onto her face.  “I won’t say anything to your little plaything, either.”

I slammed my fist down on the table, upsetting the water glasses. “That’s it,” I growled.  “I knew this was a bad idea.  I only agreed to dinner because I wanted to prove to Hunter that I’m not embarrassed by our relationship.  But I see now that that was a mistake.”

Ruby
didn’t appear disturbed that water had saturated the tablecloth and was now dripping onto the floor.  “Do this one thing, Elle, and I won’t let your secret slip to the wrong people.”

I hesitated, only momentarily.  “What
secret
do you think you have over me?  I’ve already told Cady about what happened between you and me.  It’s one of the reasons why we broke up.”

Ruby
’s lips curled at the edges. “But have you told your Dean that you’re dating a student?”

+++++

I was quiet on the drive back to the city, and I was pretty sure Hunter could tell there was something wrong, but she didn’t press me about it.  She just simply held my free hand in her lap as I drove and played with my fingers while looking out the passenger-side window.  Her touch was light and warm.  It felt familiar, comforting, and I hated it. 

             
I hated it because I didn’t deserve it – because I was actually considering Ruby’s ultimatum. 

+++++

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

The next evening when Ruby answered the knock at her hotel room door and saw me standing in the hallway, her face morphed from surprise to a knowing leer. I'd just caught her out of the shower.  She wore an oversized towel wrapped tightly around her torso and her hair was wet and twisted in dark tendrils down her back.

"I knew you couldn't stay away."

My own face was emotionless.  Without waiting for an invite, much as she'd done yesterday morning, I strode past her and welcomed myself inside.  Her hotel room had two queen-sized mattresses, but only one looked slept in. The television was on, but the volume was low. On screen was one of those Housewives shows. That she might like Reality Television was a surprise, but I realized that even after all this time I knew little about Ruby's interests.

"Can I get you a drink?" her voice tugged me back into reality.

Just being in this room made me feel sick. It felt a whole lot like cheating, even if I had no intention of giving in to Ruby's threats. But I had to be here. I had to at least try and plead my case.  I’d worked too hard to get where I was at professionally to let a ghost from my past – Ruby – ruin it all for me.

After dinner the previous night, I’d dropped
Hunter off at her apartment and once back home, with a glass of wine in hand, I’d thought about my options.  The easy solution would be to break it off with Hunter.  If I wasn’t in a relationship with her anymore, there was nothing worthy over which to blackmail me. But there was something there with Hunter – something I couldn’t divorce myself from so thoughtlessly to save my own hide. 

Ruby
had no concrete proof that I was dating a former student, so even if she called my Dean, there would be a brief investigation; Hunter and I would temporarily keep our distance, and the matter would be dropped.  But that also meant we would have to continue seeing each other in secret until she graduated.  I couldn’t ask her to do that for me.  I didn’t want her first relationship with another woman to be shrouded in secrecy and deceit.

I also knew better than to give in to
Ruby’s demands.  She might have promised to be discreet if I slept with her, but what was stopping her from coming back again and again?  If I slept with her even once, she could use that against me to sour my relationship with Hunter.  As usual, sex was not the answer.

"I'm not here for that."

She ignored me and poured me a drink – an airplane-sized travel bottle of vodka in a glass-filled tumbler.  “What did you tell your little blonde about tonight?” she asked coolly.  Her cocky grin was maddening, and I wanted to knock it from her face.

“Don’t talk about her like that,” I bit off.

My anger was only mildly contained
. I knew I was being blackmailed, and I wasn't taking her manipulation lightly.  She was riling me up on purpose, too. She wanted me angry and she wanted me to take out that anger on her body.  In a previous life, a different version of myself would have been only too happy to give her what she wanted.  I’d had one-night-stands before, but even those I’d felt at least
something
for my partner, even if only through an alcohol-drenched haze. I couldn’t be with Ruby. Maybe we could have worked out before, but with what she was trying to do to me, I felt nothing except disgust and contempt.

She held up her hands in the universal sign of surrender
before passing me the drink. I tossed back the entirety of the liquid like it was a shot of courage and set the empty glass on the bedside table. I wanted this to be over with as soon as possible so I could go home and take a scalding, punishing hot shower.              

While I was distracted by my glass, h
er hand grabbed the tight knot that corded between her cleavage.   She tugged at the twist of the towel and it fell to the floor, leaving her entirely naked.

"Oh, God." My hands flew up to cover my eyes. "P
ut some clothes on, Ruby. I beg you."

"If memory serves me right," she snickered,
"I was usually the one begging
you
.”

I kept my hand shielding my eyes. "I'm serious,
Ruby. I'm not here for that.  I’m just here to talk.”

I heard her sigh deeply, followed by the sound of cotton material rustling. "Ok.
It's safe,” she announced. “You can look now."

I hazarded a
peek to make sure she wasn't lying.  She'd gone beneath the sheets on her bed.  It wasn't exactly putting clothes on, but at least she wasn't parading around naked anymore.

She slid her hands behind her head and grinned at me.
"So why is this girl off-limits?” she asked. “You didn’t care when I used to talk about Cady."

"And look how we
ll that turned out,” I pointed out sourly.  I felt awkward standing in the middle of the room while she reclined naked in bed, but there was no way in hell I was sitting down on the mattress.   I shoved my hands in the back of my jean pockets.

"When did you and
Cady break up?" I expected to see that maddeningly cocky grin on her face, but instead she genuinely looked remorseful.

I did the math
in my head. "Little more than a year ago."

She seemed to be doing the same math. "Was it bec
ause of me?"  She didn’t sound cocky anymore.  In fact, she almost sounded
sorry.

"The relationship had run its course," I said honestly. "You were a..." I searched for the right word. "...symptom of my unhappiness in the relationship, but you weren't the reason we broke up."

"So what's so special about this new girl that you're willing to jeopardize your career for her? It feels very un-Elle-like," Ruby noted. "I thought you were more cutthroat than that."

I bristled at her comment. It hurt my ego to have someone like
Ruby think I'd gone soft or that my career still wasn't my main concern.  "Securing tenure is still a priority," I forcefully declared, "but realistically I know it's not the end of the world if things don't go as planned."

Ruby
stared at me and slowly shook her head. "Who are you and what have you done with Elle Graft?"

I'd been forfeiting my happiness for too long all in the name o
f career and money and success.  I had always told myself during school that there would be time for love once I'd achieved my goals. But even after graduation and getting my tenure-track job I found that there was always something else – papers to grade, books to write, committee meetings to lead – that made me postpone really living my life.

The latest hoop to jump through was my upcoming tenure review, the leap from being an Assistant Professor to an Associate Professor. It also meant job security.
I had been telling myself this was the final obstacle, but I was beginning to recognize as my review crept closer, that there would always be something new to overcome.

“How did you know she was one of my students?  I could have met her anywhere,” I pointed out.  That question had been nagging me since Ruby had originally propositioned me at the restaurant.

“I had a hunch when you reacted the way you did at your house when I mentioned her age.  It just took another call to your ever-helpful departmental secretary asking to confirm something about a student transcript.  You small schools are
so
trusting,” she said with a peculiar smile.  “I only had to say I was from a graduate program considering Hunter for our program.  Your secretary provided the rest.  I didn’t know Hunter’s last name, but luckily for me, it’s a pretty unique name.”

I cursed under my breath. Tricia had never been the best administrative assistant, but now she was breaking federal laws.

Ruby sat up in bed and pulled the covers back.  I quickly looked away again, uncomfortable with her nakedness. I remained silent while I heard her rummaging around.  I started to get angry with myself.  I should have called her to meet me at a neutral location to talk.  I didn’t have to come to her hotel room where she could make me uncomfortable like this.

“Applesauce.”

I looked back to see she had put on clothes – a tank top and shorts. “What?” I recognized her safe word from our time together. Hers had always struck me as an odd choice, but I’d never questioned its origins.