Winter Interlude (44 page)

Kate
fidgeted with her napkin
and
focused on her hand
,
stall
ing to gain some
courage
.

“
Is something wrong?
”

She inhaled deeply and her offered
smile
felt
fake
.
“You might say that.”

“I know.
” James shook his head
.
“
You’re mad at me for working
.
I’ve thought about it and I owe you a big apology.
You deserve better.
”

She gaped at him, unable to believe he’d actually try to smooth things over
.
On the other hand,
that was his usual M
.
O.
when he’d pushed her too far.
And she
always bought it
.
Until
now
.

“
I’m really sorry about last weekend
.
In fact there’s a lot I’m sorry for in our relationship
.
”

“
What
?”

“
I know you’re angry and you have every right to be. I wish I could make it up to you.
”

“
Oh really?
”
Irritation rose up her spine
.
“
Well, you’re off the hook.
I’m not angry. Not anymore.
But I have one question.”

His nod indicated that she
continue
.

“
H
ow were you planning to make it up to me
when we rarely spend any time together
?”
Now that
s
he’d finally
let loose a little,
why
hold back
?
“I’m tired of it
.”
Straightening, she
crossed her arms and frowned
.
“Look
,
James,
there’s no good way to say this, so I’ll be blunt.
”

About to take a drink, he hesitated
and eyed
her warily
.

“
I’m calling
it quits,” s
he blurted out,
just as he managed a sip.

He almost choked on his
wine
. H
is eyebrows shot up
and h
is
eyes got round
.
“
You’re w
hat?”

“
I’m breaking up with you.

“Breaking up?” he asked, as if trying to take it all in.

“
My
news
obviously
shocks you
.
I don’t understand why
.”
Kate
shook her head
.
“Isn’t it what you want?”

When he
continued to stare at her, dumbfounded
, she said,
“Come on, James
.
Don’t act like you don’t have a clue about why
.”

He
stiffened. “That’s hitting below the belt, don’t you think?”

“Are you
denying
your actions don’t mean anything?
”

“
Well…no,
” he
said
,
still
appearing slightly confused.

Her gaze narrowed
.
“So you cho
o
se to be an ass instead of talking
.”

He held up a hand.
“Wait a min
—
”

She cut him off and said, “
Am I wrong
?”
U
nder her scrutiny, he squirmed
as an embarrassed flush colored
his
cheeks
.
“
For the past
six
months
,
you’ve been a total jerk
.
I’m
through p
ut
ting
up with it,”
she said, after taking a deep breath
,
thankful
to have
actually said
her piece
before chicken
ing
out
.

“So
,
this is it
?”
His jaw dropped as realization set in
.
“You’re actually pushing me out the door
.
After
all we’ve been through
?”
He
blinked
.
Then took another sip of wine
.
A moment later
,
he
wiped his face
.
“I can’t believe it.”

“Well
,
believe it. This
is
serious
.”
She
gritted her teeth and clenched her fists, stilling the urge to
smack him
.
“
You know damn well you don’t love me
,” she said, knowing without a doubt
it was the truth
.

He grimaced
.
Several emotions crossed his face, the biggest
being
regret
.

“
Don’t look at me like that.
”

“Like what?”

“Like
you care.
”
She averted her gaze so
she wouldn’t
be swayed by it. “
I’m not changing my mind
.”

“
I
do
care. Just not enough,
”
he said
, placing
warm fingers
over hers and squeezing
.
“
I’m sorry.”

She snatched her hand away and glared
.
“
Apologizing isn’t enough
, either
.”

“Okay. I understand you want to break up.” He took a deep breath and nodded.
“
But I can’t help but wonder w
hat started all this
.
Why give me my walking papers now?”

“I thought I already told you what started it,” she huffed, totally annoyed with his
hardheadedness
.
“You did by your actions.”

“But I was working
.
You know how I am about my designs.”

“
Yeah, I know,”
she shot back. “
W
ork is your first love.
I
finally
got smart and realized what a jerk you’ve been
.
Did you think that I would bow and scrape for your attention forever
?”

“
Is that how you saw it
?
Begging
for my attention?”

When she nodded
,
he sighed
.
“
I can’t deny being a jerk about the way I’ve treated you,
but
I do care about you
.”
He eyed her carefully
.

Again
,
she spotted something akin to remorse in that blue gaze and, rather than allow it to soften her stance, she decided to use it to firm her resolve
.

“You have
a
funny way of showing it
.”
Tears formed
.
She blinked them back, but a few escaped
.
She wiped her eyes
.

“
I wanted
us to work out
.”
H
is gaze focused on the rim of his wineglass as he traced a drop of condensation
. “I really
tried to commit
.
I
just
can’t bring myself to that point,
not
yet.
Which means
neither one of us is happy
.”

Great
.
Now she was crying in front of him
.
But damn it all, saying good
-
bye to a dream wasn’t easy, not when his expression held such
sadness
.

“And I bear the brunt of the blame. I’m sorry,” he whispered, clearly choked up
.
“You’re absolutely right
.
You
didn’
t deserve to be treated so callously
.
I
never thought about how it affected you, but you have to know I
honestly never wanted to hurt you
.”
He brushed her tears away with the tips of his fingers
and
begged, “Please don’t cry
.
I’m sorry my actions led us to this
.
I’ve never liked making you cry
.
It makes me feel like a
jerk
.”