Winners (8 page)

Chapter 7

It was February, and Lily had been at the hospital for over a month, before Jessie felt ready to release her. She had made a good recovery, and responded to the medications and treatments well. They were mostly for bladder and bowel control, and would be important for her in her life as a paraplegic, which was a concept her father still hadn’t accepted. He had been in consultation with neurosurgeons around the world, and had identified four he was planning to take her to, in Zurich, London, New York, and Boston. Jessie was familiar with their names and reputations, and the research they had done or been attached to. The only one of the group she knew personally was the doctor Bill had contacted at Harvard, who was the head of neurosurgery at Massachusetts General Hospital. Jessie had studied under him in medical school, and had remained in touch with him. She had never consulted with him about a patient until now. All of her cases so far were clear-cut, and although many of her patients came from other places and had been injured while skiing in Squaw Valley, most of them had only wanted referrals to physicians in their hometowns when they went back. None had ever embarked on a pilgrimage like the one Bill was planning, and Jessie had some concerns about Lily traveling so extensively as soon as she was released. But Bill was mindful of that as well. He had chartered a private plane for the journey, and booked suites in the best hotels. He had asked Jessie if she thought a doctor should travel with them, and implied heavily that she should do it, but that would have been impossible for her. She couldn’t leave her children so soon after their father’s death, nor her other patients in Squaw Valley, who needed her as well. Instead, Jessie suggested he take a nurse from the neurosurgery ICU, and she selected one carefully and discussed it with her.

Jennifer Williams was thrilled to make the trip, and Lily liked her. Jessie assured Bill that she trusted Jennifer implicitly, and he made his plans to leave Squaw on Valentine’s Day. Their departure just happened to fall on that day, due to the schedules of the neurosurgeons they would be seeing, and the availability of the plane. They were planning to fly out of Reno, and would be getting there from Squaw Valley by limousine. Bill’s assistant in Denver had carefully made all the plans and handled all the details. Jessie still felt that the journey would be futile, but she didn’t try to discourage him, and she assured him that she would be available by phone for consultation with any of the doctors. And they had already received from Jessie all of Lily’s records and test results electronically. Given what they showed, Jessie was surprised that they were willing to meet with him, but Bill Thomas was an important man, and he had pulled all the necessary strings to get in to see them. Jessie knew by then just how stubborn he was. They had had several showdowns in the past six weeks, when he continued to assure Lily in no uncertain terms that she would walk again. Jessie felt it was irresponsible of him to do so. Two days before they left, Lily brought it up with her.

“This is it, isn’t it, Dr. Matthews?” Lily had asked her quietly, while sitting in a wheelchair in her room. She had already begun therapy at Squaw, and Jessie had agreed on a treatment plan with the therapists at Craig Hospital when she got back to Denver. That was crucial for her now, to help her adapt to her new life. Her old life was gone forever, despite what her father said.

Lily had begun calling and texting her friends at home once she felt better. She had called Jeremy and Veronica, both of whom were horrified by what had happened to her, and she had called some other friends. But suddenly there was a vast chasm between them and Lily, and everything they talked about was something she would no longer be able to engage in, like their Olympic training on the ski team, and all of her friends were on the team. And just as it had been for her, it was their whole life. With her accident, she had become an outsider instantly. Even their recreational pastimes would be difficult or impossible for Lily now, dancing, skating, skiing, sports. And for three or four months after they got home, Lily would be in rehab, and they would have to visit her there. They promised Lily they would, but she already felt left out of their activities when they called her, and without training for the Olympics, there would be a huge hole in her life. Her coach had called to encourage her, after talking to her father, and assured her that she would not be too old to win the gold in five years, if she missed the Olympics the next year. Her father had assured her coach that she would make a full recovery. Bill had told no one that her spinal cord injury was complete or that she was paralyzed from the waist down and would stay that way. Given what her father said, her coach was sure that she would recover, and Lily hadn’t told her friends the full extent of her injuries either. Her father had told her not to. Her eyes looked sad as she put the question to Jessie, who didn’t understand immediately what she meant when she asked her if “this was it.”

“Here in Squaw? Yes, it is.” Jessie smiled at her after her morning visit. She had grown attached to her, more than she usually did with her patients. Lily was a lovely girl, and the blow of what she was facing would weigh heavily on her for a while, Jessie knew, particularly with her father’s attitude. He still had reality to face and hadn’t yet. Jessie hoped that for Lily’s sake he would soon. It would make it easier for Lily once he did, and they could move forward into the business of leading life in the best possible ways. For now, he was still clinging to the past, and urging Lily to do the same, which wasn’t good for her.

“You’ll be busy once you get home,” Jessie said to her. “At Craig, with school, with your friends. You’ve got college ahead of you too.” She was trying to get Lily to look forward instead of back.

“I didn’t mean that,” Lily said sadly, with a look of resignation. “I meant, this is it,” she said again as she pointed to her legs, strapped into the wheelchair so they wouldn’t slip off when the chair moved. She had no control of them whatsoever, as though they belonged to someone else, and she felt nothing below her waist. Jessie paused for a long moment after she asked her the question. Bill had given her strict instructions not to tell Lily she would never walk again, but Jessie was a responsible physician, and she knew what the other doctors were going to tell them, particularly the one in Boston, whom Jessie knew and had called herself. He agreed with her prognosis to the letter and had sensed Bill’s refusal to accept it. Jessie had confirmed that to him. “I’m never going to get out of this chair again, am I?” Lily asked her bluntly. She had suspected it from everything that had been said, but her father kept telling her otherwise, with incredible determination, and he had never lied to her before. It was confusing her now, and Jessie could see it. Lily was more ready to face the truth than her father was.

“There’s a lot of research in this area,” Jessie said. “Spinal cord injuries are of interest to a lot of people. And stem cell research has given everyone a lot of hope.” Lily’s eyes were boring into hers. She didn’t want to hear about the research, Jessie knew—she wanted to hear the truth from her. Jessie’s voice was serious when she spoke. “For now, yes, this is it. They’re going to teach you a lot of ways to deal with it and improve your skills at Craig.”

Lily had a powerful lower body from skiing. Now they were going to strengthen her upper body, so she could use her arms in new ways, to guide her wheelchair, or help herself. Her father had ordered her a state-of-the-art feather-light wheelchair for their trip. It was one of the best ones made. And Jennifer would be there to help her.

“Lily, there’s no reason why you can’t lead an amazing life from now on. Not just a good life, an amazing one. I really mean that, and I believe you will. I’m not telling you it will be easy at first, and it’s a big adjustment, but you can do this. New doors are going to open up to you, which you don’t expect now. You may not be able to win the gold at the Olympics, and in fact you can’t, but you can win the gold in your life, which matters more. You’re a winner, Lily, I know you are. You just have to hang on for the ride now, and see where this takes you.” Lily nodded, with tears in her eyes.

“My father keeps saying I’m going to walk again, and I know I won’t. He doesn’t want to believe that,” she said, as the tears spilled onto her cheeks. She had a lot to face now, and all of it from a wheelchair, forever. It was overwhelming for a seventeen-year-old, or anyone, and Jessie respected her enormously for trying, and in some ways being more mature than her father.

“He loves you very much,” Jessie said quietly, trying to explain the agonies of parenthood to her in a few words, but Lily understood that herself.

“I know. You don’t think I’ll walk again, do you?” she asked Jessie, who couldn’t lie to her. She hadn’t yet, but she had avoided the obvious as much as possible, at the request of Lily’s father.

“No, I don’t. Unless the research they’re doing now changes something,” she said again. It was the best she could offer, and had been from the beginning, given the location and extent of Lily’s injury.

“Then why is my dad taking me to all those doctors all over the world?” She wasn’t looking forward to being poked and prodded by four more doctors. She trusted Jessie, even if her father didn’t, and she knew she was right. She had sensed it all along. Her legs were too dead to ever come alive again, no matter what her father said.

“Because he’s hoping that I’m wrong. I’m not sure I blame him. I’d probably do the same if it were one of my kids. It’s always good to get other opinions and learn something more.” She tried to be respectful of what Bill was doing, at least to his daughter, although as Lily’s physician and surgeon she would have preferred to see her go straight to Craig and start rehab, and not wear herself out traveling. But they were doing it in optimal conditions, so she had no serious medical objections, just philosophical ones. And she would have hated to see Lily cling to a hope that wasn’t real. But Jessie could tell now that she wasn’t, only Bill was, and he wasn’t Jessie’s patient. His refusal to face the truth was something he would have to deal with himself. Jessie knew that the doctors and physical therapists at Craig would do all they could for Lily. And sooner or later Bill Thomas would have to face the facts.

“I’m going to miss you,” Lily said in a small voice and wheeled her chair over to where Jessie was standing, to hug her. And then she choked on the next words: “Thank you for saving my life.” It was something Bill hadn’t been able to say to her. Jessie’s eyes filled with tears as she hugged her. So much had happened since she and Lily had met. It had been a life-altering time for her as well, with her husband’s death. They had both lost a lot in the last six weeks, and the benefits, if there were to be any, and the blessings weren’t obvious yet.

“Will you stay in touch?” Jessie asked her gently. She normally didn’t ask that, except medically, but Lily had come to mean a lot to her. She was a very special girl, Bill was right about that.

“I promise.”

Jessie was glad they had had the opportunity to talk without her father around, which was rare. He seldom left Lily alone in the hospital, and he intended to do the same once they got home. Jessie realized that ultimately his deep concern might become oppressive for Lily, but he was still getting over the shock of what had happened, and it would probably take him a long time, just as it would for her to get over losing Tim. Now, every time Chris drove somewhere, or every time her cell phone rang, she had her heart in her mouth. She knew it would be years before she trusted life again. The worst had happened, and now she was terrified for her kids. Just as Bill was about Lily. It was their burden to bear, and Jessie knew it wasn’t easy for their kids.

Lily’s departure from the hospital, six weeks after the accident, was emotional for everyone who had cared for her. Nurses came to say goodbye and give her little gifts. The resident kissed her goodbye, Ben wished her good luck when he joined Jessie to see her off. Lily hugged Jessie hard and thanked her again, and there were tears in many eyes, as Lily waved from the window as the limousine drove away to take them to Reno. They were flying to London for their first consultation on the list of four. Bill had wanted to schedule one in Germany as well, but after reviewing her records, the doctor had refused and said he would be wasting their time.

Lily’s wheelchair was in the trunk of the car, and Jennifer, the nurse Bill had hired, was with them, excited about the trip. She was twenty-seven years old and had never been to Europe or the East before. She had gone to nursing school at USF, and then returned to Lake Tahoe, where she had grown up. This was a big adventure for her, and she and Lily chatted while Bill talked on his BlackBerry. He had let his business slide in the last month and a half and was paying closer attention to it again.

Jennifer gasped when she saw the plane that was waiting for them in Reno. It was a Boeing Business Jet, and incredibly luxurious once they stepped inside. Bill carried Lily easily onto the plane and set her down in one of the large, comfortable seats. There was a living room, a dining area, and two bedrooms, which Bill had wanted so they could rest. They were expected to be in London in ten hours, which was seven
A.M.
local time. Their consultation with the chief neurosurgeon at King’s College Hospital was set for the following morning. And he had booked two suites for them at Claridge’s. He had high hopes for the meeting, and was even willing to stay in London, if the doctor suggested treatment there for her.

Lily watched two movies, and then Jennifer helped her settle into one of the bedrooms. The bathroom was difficult for her to negotiate with the wheelchair, and Bill had to carry her in and out and lay her gently down on the bed afterward. Lily slept for the rest of the trip, she still tired easily, and Jennifer took her vital signs, but she was fine, and did well on the flight.

They were whisked through customs and immigration at Heathrow, and Jennifer pushed Lily’s chair. A Bentley was waiting to take them to Claridge’s, and their accommodations were comfortable and elegant. Lily was dying to get out, but her father wanted her to rest. She called Veronica, but she was out training on the slopes, and her phone was on voicemail, so Lily sent her a text and said she couldn’t wait to see her. They were due back in Denver in ten days, depending on how things went on their medical tour.