Wings of Tavea (33 page)

Her heart was torn and confused, held together by a horrific guilt. Dropping down to the sand, she pulled out the blue pendant the Guardians had made her. Rolling it around her fingers, she wished she were back in the Hollow, where things weren’t such a mess and Emane was with her, safe.

* * *

KIORA HAD WAITED TO go back to the tent until she was sure Alcander and Drustan would be asleep. Sitting on the beach alone, she had managed to talk herself out of any truth Alcander may have told her. But lying in the same room, inches away from him, she realized with dismay that she did feel a pull towards him. She silently cursed her magic, and his.

Pulling her pillow over her head, she groaned. She had finally been able to admit she loved Emane. How was she supposed to tell him now, after what had happened with Alcander? Emane wouldn’t understand—
she
didn’t understand. She lay there and cried silently until she finally passed out from mental and physical exhaustion.

The next morning Drustan shook her awake.

“Wake up, Kiora. His Highness has acquiesced to your request.”

She groggily sat up. “What?” she asked, rubbing her eyes.

“There is no rest for the weary. Alcander has decided to leave this morning.”

Gratitude and relief rushed through her. Craning her neck, she asked, “Why are you so tall?”

Drustan usually kept to the same form. Today, he looked a good foot and a half taller.

“I got tired of looking up to Alcander, so I adjusted.”

She grinned. “How did he like that?”

“He didn’t.” Drustan smirked. “But he was too proud to say anything about it.”

Kiora was in no hurry to see Alcander this morning, but anxious to leave. Running her fingers through her hair, she went to find him. His thread was near, and as she popped her head out of the tent, she saw him talking to Einar.

“Why won’t you tell us who she is?” Einar was asking. “The whole island is talking about her.”

“It doesn’t matter who she is, Einar, just do your job and I will do mine.”

Einar looked over Alcander’s shoulder to Kiora before averting his eyes.

She pursed her lips. She wanted to tell Einar that she didn’t care what Alcander had told him—he was allowed to look at her if he wanted. Instead she made her way over and stopped just out of Alcander’s reach. “Can I talk with you a moment, Prince Alcander?”

“Of course.” Alcander inclined his head in Einar’s direction. Understanding his dismissal, Einar left without a word.

Alcander reached out to touch her arm, but she neatly sidestepped. His lips tightened, but he didn’t say anything.

“Why are you so worried someone might find out who I am?” she demanded.

He eyed her, clearly debating whether to share his reasons or not. Finally the stiffness of his back relaxed. “They are asking too many questions about you here, and rumors spread quickly.”

“Your village knew.”

“My village did not interact with others. These people move from place to place. I don’t want them taking the news with them.”

She chewed at her bottom lip. “Fine.” She turned to head back to the tent.

“Kiora?”

“What?”

“You are going to have to touch me. We can’t train if you are avoiding me.”

Gritting her teeth, she marched back and grabbed his arm. Magic immediately flowed between them, much to her chagrin.

“There,” she said, her voice hitching. “Happy?”

Unabashed, he looked her directly in the eye. “Yes.”

Jerking her hand back, she stomped to the tent where Drustan was taking every last second he could to rest. He lay stretched out on his bedroll with his eyes closed.

As soon as Drustan heard Kiora enter, he picked up the conversation right where they had left off. “Not only are we leaving this morning, but, now I have to carry luggage too. Apparently we can’t summon things or everyone starts hunting down rebel camps. Clever, I suppose. Things go missing, you know a camp must be close enough to summon. Narrows down the search area. Although it’s a pain in the—”

“Can I ask you a question?” she blurted.

Drustan must have heard the seriousness in her voice because he sat up, looking again like the distinguished leader she had first met. She realized he hadn’t looked like that since they had met Lomay. “Of course. I am at your disposal, my lady.”

“When people of magical abilities kiss,” she blushed, clenching and unclenching her fists at her side, “is it true that magic only flows when both parties . . . when they feel the same?”

His eyebrows rose. “One can feel stronger than the other, but there must be feelings by both parties for the magic to do what you are describing.” She wrung her hands in front of her. “Why?” he asked.

Dropping to her bedroll, she buried her face in her hands. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I have to assume we are talking about you and the Tavean.”

“He has a name,” Kiora moaned, leaning back. “And I really don’t want to talk about it. It was an accident, I don’t know how it happened.”

“That’s exactly why we need to talk. Taveans aren’t like humans.”

She snorted. That was an understatement.

“There are no ‘accidents’ with Taveans. They don’t—” He ran both hands through his hair, growling “Taveans only bond with
one
person.” He looked at her. “
Ever
.”

Understanding began to tingle inside her. She wished it would stop, because her stomach was tying itself into knots. “What do you mean, bond?”

“The magic flowing between two people. It’s called bonding. Did he—” Drustan’s eyes searched hers. “Did you?”

Her stomach finished tying itself into knots, and the world began to swim around her. “He kissed me,” she said weakly, “and I . . . I kissed him back.”

Drustan let out a long slow breath. “And your magic flowed? Both of you, together?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

Nodding emphatically, she dropped her head back into her hands, closing her eyes. “I am so confused,” she moaned.

Drustan was quiet for a long time. She was scared to look at him, sure she would see disgust in his eyes. She had betrayed Emane, and she couldn’t even deny she had feelings for Alcander. The magic didn’t lie.

“Sometimes,” Drustan finally dragged out, “when you spend a lot of time with someone, the love grows so slowly, so unexpectedly, that by the time you realize it—it’s too late.”

She nervously peeked at him through her fingers. He was reminiscing, staring at nothing but seeing everything. “You sound like you understand,” she ventured.

A smile flitted across his face. “A long time ago I was betrothed to a beautiful Shifter. She was everything I ever wanted. I loved her.

“At the time, we were in the middle of a war and I was commander over the army. One of my head lieutenants was named Lamia. She was pretty, and strong too. We spent a lot of time together: fighting, training, planning.” He blinked at Kiora. “One day I realized I loved her. I was torn for weeks, confused and guilty.”

Kiora bit the side of her lip. “What did you do?”

“I called off my betrothal to pursue Lamia instead.” Drustan shook his head. “I think Lamia was as surprised as I was, but the feelings were mutual. She was the strongest, most amazing woman I had ever met. She made me very happy.”

“What happened to her?”

Drustan sighed heavily. “You remember I told you I worked closely with Dralazar?”

She sat straight up. She knew Drustan had been holding back earlier, when he had first spoken of what Dralazar had done to permanently turn Drustan against him.

“Lamia and I both did. She had started to see Dralazar for what he was, and had started to waver in her allegiance.” He shook his head. “I could tell her thread had changed, but I thought it was so slight, so minimal. I thought the only reason I had noticed it was the bonding between her and I. Dralazar summoned Lamia one day without me, which was odd. We always went together.

“I immediately wondered if I was wrong, if perhaps Dralazar had noticed her thread. I told her my concerns, but she insisted I let her go alone. I accompanied her as far as she would allow me to, and then I left. But the nagging feeling that something was wrong was too much to ignore. So I returned, bubbling when I got close to Dralazar’s lair.

“I found them inside, leaning over maps, discussing battle plans. After a few minutes of listening, I thought my worries were for naught. I was preparing to go, as my bubble was running out. Dralazar waited until Lamia turned to leave, made sure she was completely at ease. And then—” Drustan stopped, his mouth opening and closing several times before he finally formed the words. “He pulled out a dagger and plunged it through her back.”

Kiora gasped, covering her mouth with her hands.

“She died almost immediately. Her thread extinguished before I could take two steps.” Drustan closed his eyes, taking a long jerky breath before exhaling. “I could have fought him right there. But I would have lost. My bubble had already used almost everything I had, so I left. I pulled our forces back from the fight, just like I told you and Emane. Dralazar told me that Lamia had led a force into battle after their meeting and had been killed. I decided I didn’t care how long it took, or what I had to do, as long as I could get revenge.”

Kiora had known Dralazar was evil in Meros, but the truth was—she’d had no idea. Orrin’s mother, Drustan’s wife. Tortured, killed without remorse. And now Emane. Dralazar had to be stopped. “Drustan,” Kiora whispered. “I am so sorry.”

He shrugged, smiling weakly. “I would appreciate you not sharing that little bit of information with Alcander. He would look at it as a reason to replace this with a real one.” He held up his bracelet.

She shook her head, looking at the bracelet with distaste before sitting straight up. “How can I have feelings for someone who thinks that is okay?”

“Kiora,” Drustan said gently. “As much as I dislike him at times,” he paused, as if what he was about to say pained him, “I suspect he is more than the perception he gives to others. I also suspect you have seen that for yourself. Besides, sometimes we can’t help who we love.”

“But . . . Emane,” she protested.

Drustan put his hand on her knee, pity in his eyes. “ I know. I have seen how you feel about him. But the magic doesn’t lie.”

Her shoulders slumped. “That’s what Alcander said.”

“It is true. And he has more to lose than you do, I am afraid.”

“Why would he pick me?” she asked, looking to Drustan for an answer. “After waiting all these years?”

“It’s like I said. You can’t help who you love.” Feeling Alcander’s thread approaching, Drustan pulled his hand away and looked expectantly at the entrance as Alcander ducked inside. Kiora tried to hide the look on her face, but her eyes felt wide and haunted despite her efforts. Alcander froze, staring at her for far too long before turning slowly and leaving.

“Well. ” Drustan cleared his throat as he stood. He opened his mouth like he was about to say something. Instead he patted her on the shoulder in a fatherly way before leaving. Kiora could hear him yelling to Alcander, “What are we flying as today?”

* * *

ALCANDER PACED BACK AND forth on the sandy beach. Where the hell was Drustan? They had been ready to leave when Drustan said he had forgotten something at the tent. That had been at least thirty minutes ago.

He glanced back at Kiora, who sat with her legs up to her chin, her arms wrapped around them, staring out at the water with distant eyes. “I’m going to get Drustan,” he announced. She didn’t even glance in his direction.

Throwing back the flap to the tent, Alcander found Drustan standing at the back, arms crossed. “What are you doing?” Drustan demanded.

“We are trying to leave,” Alcander said shortly, his temper flaring.

“That is not what I was referring to.”

A savage rage rolled through Alcander’s gut. He had hoped that moment in the tent between Kiora and Drustan had not been what he thought. “She told you?”

“Yes.”

Alcander growled. “It is none of your business what I do, Shifter.”

“Call me Shifter all you want, Alcander, if that’s the best you’ve got.” Drustan leaned forward. “Kiora had no idea what she was doing when she kissed you.”

“Nor will she.”

“She already does.”

Alcander leapt forward. His hands splayed at his sides as magic crackled across his fingertips. “How
dare
you share that with her?” he seethed.

Drustan stepped closer. Alcander swore silently at his latest height adjustment. The massive Shifter stared down at him. “She had a right to know,” Drustan said. “As Kiora was the
only
person you could have bonded with who didn’t understand the implications, you had an obligation to tell her.” He pointed accusingly. “You did not, so I did. ” He inclined his head, looking down his nose at Alcander. “Now I ask you again, all pretenses aside: what are you doing?”

There was something in Drustan’s eyes, a fierce protectiveness for Kiora that Alcander understood and couldn’t help but respect. Pulling his chin up, he dropped his hands back to his side. “I can’t control it, anymore than she can control loving . . .” He stopped, his teeth grinding together. “
Him.
”

“You love her then?”

Running his hands through his hair, Alcander turned away. He could not believe he was having this conversation at all, let alone with a Shifter. “You know I do.”

“But not enough to tell her about the bonding.”

Alcander laughed out loud. “Is that what you think?” he asked, spinning around. “I know her enough to realize how badly this would hurt her. I was protecting her.”

Drustan’s posture relaxed. “How bad did you think it would hurt her when she realized what you did?”

Alcander’s mouth twisted. “It would have been painless if she had never known. But that isn’t an option now, is it?”

Drustan’s eyes narrowed appraisingly. “You were willing to sacrifice the rest of your life? Willing to let her live in ignorance?”

Alcander leaned forward before enunciating, “Yes.”

Drustan shook his head, chuckling.

“What is so funny?”