Wings of Love (8 page)

He heard the screen door open and close, and he looked up to see Mac dressed in long flannel pajama pants, a sweatshirt, and heavy wool socks, his wet hair slicked back.
He looks like an Abercrombie & Fitch model
, Brad thought.

“How was the bath?”

“Quick, but hot,” Mac responded.

“How’s the hand?”

“Okay,” Mac said. “I think I managed to keep the bandage dry.”

“Good, tomorrow morning I’ll redress it and take another look.”

“Thanks, Brad.”

“No problem.” Brad downed the last of his wine and refilled his glass. He poured a glass for Mac and handed it to him as he stood. “My turn for a bath. See you in a bit.”

Brad left Mac standing on the porch and made his way to the kitchen. He again removed the tub of hot water from the stove, carried it to the bathroom, and poured the water in the tub. He turned on the cold tap, returned the tub to the kitchen, and slipped back into the bathroom. He undressed, tested the water, and slipped into the hot water. He quickly sighed as he noticed how comfortable the tub was. It was long enough to stretch out, very deep, and tall enough on one end to comfortably lean back and rest his head and neck while most of his body was covered in the water.

He totally relaxed and let the hot water consume him. Steam was rising off of the water, and through the steam he could see the flickering flame from the oil lamp casting an eerie glow. He watched the flame dance on the ceiling, and for the first time in ages, he felt totally relaxed. He thought about how a hot water heater and shower would make things easier at bath time and decided that he was going to talk to Mac about upgrading the solar electrical system to allow for the extra power they would need for a few modern-day necessities. He took another sip of his wine and put the glass on the floor next to the tub. He laid his head back and closed his eyes. His thoughts went to Mac.
Mac seems to be having some very odd reactions to me. The almost-kiss. The hard-on. And sometimes I catch him staring at me from a distance. Could Mac be struggling with his sexuality? Just because he was married doesn’t mean he’s straight, but never in all the years we’ve been coming up to the lake did we ever get a vibe that he was gay. If he’s struggling, I need to help him.

Chapter 13

W
HILE
Brad was having his bath, Mac stood leaning on the porch railing, looking up at the dark blue velvet sky. He was always so amazed at how close the stars appeared to be when he was up in the mountains, like he could reach out and touch them. He and Lindsey had loved stargazing. They would lie on a blanket in their backyard and look at the stars for hours. “Lindsey, I miss you so much,” he said under his breath. Then his thoughts took over
. Why am I having these feelings for Brad? I’m not gay. My God, I got a woody when he was dressing my burn. I’ve never been attracted to another guy, but these thoughts are pretty hard to deny. What do I do?

He was startled out of his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder.

“Mac, are you okay?” Brad asked.

“Oh yeah, why?”

“I called your name twice, and you never heard me.”

“I’m sorry, I was thinking about Lindsey. We loved the stars, and they are so vibrant tonight,” Mac said.

“They are indeed—so close, yet so far,” Brad whispered.

“Bath okay?” Mac asked.

“Really good; I was so relaxed I dozed off for a few minutes.”

“Speaking of sleep, I’m pretty tired as well. Why don’t I make us a quick bite, and we can turn in?” Mac said. “We have a big day tomorrow.”

“Sounds good, can I help?” Brad asked.

“Sure. How about I make a couple of sandwiches and you toss a salad?” Mac said as he opened the cabin door.

“You got it,” Brad replied.

Mac walked into the cabin with Brad behind him. They prepared their dinner and ate mostly in a comfortable silence, both seemingly lost in thought. When they were through eating and everything was clean and put away, Mac folded the dishtowel and threw it over the edge of the sink.

“I guess that does it,” Mac said. “I think I’ll turn in.”

Their eyes met for a brief second and lingered. Brad said, “Okay. Good night, Mac.”

“Sleep tight Brad,” Mac responded. He climbed the ladder to the loft, pulled back the covers, and slipped into bed. Brad threw a few more logs on the fire, and put out all the oil lamps.

“Hey, Mac?” Brad shouted.

“Yeah, Brad?”

“I’ll keep the fire going tonight. No need for you to go up and down the ladder in the dark.”

“Okay, thanks, I’ll take it tomorrow night,” Mac responded.

Brad made his way to his bed by the light of the fire, and crawled in. The cabin was silent except for the crackling sound of the wood burning. The sound was soothing, and he fell asleep immediately.

Unfortunately for Mac, sleep didn’t come. He went over and over the events of the day, the last couple of weeks, and the last five years since he and Brad had met. When they’d first met, Brad was with Jeff. Lindsey had just died, and Mac wasn’t interested in anything but trying to get through a day. And he was straight; what part of being straight had he forgotten? But how could he explain the feelings for Brad he was experiencing? He thought back to high school. He had experimented with a couple of guys while he was on the swim team, but hadn’t every guy at that age? It was enjoyable, sure, but he never thought it would ever go beyond just that, two guys getting their rocks off. He had never ever remembered consciously being attracted to another man.
Could it be that I’ve denied that part of myself for all these years?
Question after question popped into his mind.

This attraction couldn’t be real; it had to be something else. He again thought of Lindsey.
I can’t betray her with a man. I know she wanted me to move on and find love again, but I’m pretty certain she didn’t mean with a man. And besides, Brad just lost Jeff. The last thing he needs is a straight man coming on to him. What am I saying? I’m not going to hit on Brad. I’m straight!

Mac grabbed his head with both hands and squeezed his eyes shut. His brain was again on overload. He needed to stop stressing over this infatuation. Winter would be here soon, he would see a lot less of Brad, and whatever he was feeling would just go away. He convinced himself to give it up, hold up his end of the bargain where the cabin was concerned, and pray that winter came very soon.

Chapter 14

T
IME
was flying by. They were so busy with the cabin that Halloween and Thanksgiving had come and gone almost unnoticed, and it was now early December. Over the last six months, the two men had fallen into a fairly easy routine. Mac had done his best to deal with his infatuation with Brad by flying as much as he could and staying in Anchorage as much as possible without making Brad feel deserted. After all, he’d gone into this partnership with open eyes, and it wasn’t Brad’s fault he had issues. He owed it to Brad to pull his share of the workload. Most days he would fly his passengers to and from the lodge and pick up supplies, while Brad stayed behind and worked on smaller projects. When Mac had a day or two off, they tackled the larger projects together.

The day after Mac had burned his hand boiling water, they decided to make the upgrades Brad had thought about. They had the cabin rewired for an updated solar power grid that would accommodate a solar water heating system, a refrigerator, and a small washer-dryer combo. At the same time, they had the old generator rebuilt and rewired to come on automatically when the batteries on the new solar grid needed charging or if they simply needed a power boost. They also had the cabin’s plumbing updated to accommodate a shower and hot running water.

All the repairs were complete. They had hot water, more electricity, and enough wood chopped, split, and stacked to heat the cabin through the winter. Once winter set in, Brad knew that Mac would only be able to fly up weather permitting, so he made sure the cabin was stocked with nonperishable foods for the long stretches of bad weather.

Zander and Jake had decided to close the lodge for a week to visit family, and for the last week or so, they had buttoned up the lodge and prepared it for their time away. Mac had been up at the cabin with Brad during that time, tackling the chinking repairs needed on portions of the log cabin walls. It took them almost the entire week, but they were finally finished. When the workday was over, they sat in their new rocking chairs on the porch to have a glass of wine. With the trees now topped and the brush cleared, the view was even more spectacular than before. Not only could they clearly see the majestic mountains in the distance, they had a clear shot down to the lake and could see the lodge and the dock where Mac kept the plane.

Brad poured a glass of wine for Mac and poured one for himself. They rocked slowly as they looked out at the mountains. “Man, the view is spectacular now, isn’t it?” Mac asked.

“Hell yeah,” Brad said. “The mountains and the lake seem so close.”

“I love being able to see my plane,” Mac said. He looked over to the north and commented on how the clouds were starting to roll in.

Earlier in the day, Brad turned on the weather radio to get an update and learned that the first big winter storm was scheduled to arrive in three days. The blizzard was expected to drop as much as three to four feet of snow, with whiteout conditions and fifty- to sixty-knot winds.

Mac was flying Zander and Jake to Anchorage to start their vacation in two days and wouldn’t be back until the storm broke, which meant Brad would be alone in the cabin during the first storm of the winter season.

He was a little nervous, but when he thought about it, if he were being honest with himself, it had more to do with Mac leaving than the storm approaching. He had grown accustomed to being with Mac off and on over the last six months, but this past week or so with Mac was the happiest he’d been since Jeff died. They had discovered that they really had a lot in common. They liked the same sports teams, enjoyed many of the same foods, read many of the same books, and shared a love for adventure and, oddly enough, microwave popcorn. They had easily made their own place in the cabin and felt comfortable doing so. Many times they would sit in front of the fire with their feet up and read in a comfortable silence while chomping on their favorite snack. Or sometimes Mac would head up to the loft and read alone, or Brad would sit on the porch and read until the sun went down. But they both knew the other was just a call away, and there was a certain comfort in that. Through the pain of losing Jeff and buying and restoring this cabin, Brad had found a best friend for life.

After they finished their wine, they started the nightly drill. Although they now had electricity, they still liked to use the oil lamps as much as possible. Brad lit the oil lamps while Mac got the fire going in the large fireplace. Together they moved effortlessly around the little kitchen, cooking dinner and listening to the weather radio.

When dinner was ready, they ate at the kitchen table, as they did most nights, and talked about the storm and what they needed to do to prepare. They had one more day to secure the cabin before Mac flew back to Anchorage.

After they’d finished eating, and they were satisfied with their plan of attack for tomorrow, and the kitchen was cleaned, they each grabbed a book and headed to the couch. They read for a couple of hours in silence.

Brad closed his book, stretched, and said, “Mac?”

Mac looked up and closed his book.

“You never talk about your family other than Zoe-Grace,” Brad said. “Do you have any brothers or sisters? Are your parents still alive?”

Looking a little uncomfortable, Mac closed his book and looked at the ceiling.

“What I know is a really short story,” Mac said. “I didn’t know either of my parents. I was told that my mother became pregnant with me while she was still in high school. She was forced to give me up for adoption by her parents, my grandparents, and I spent seventeen years in orphanages and foster homes.”

“That must have been tough,” Brad said.