Wings of Arian (30 page)

“How am I supposed to understand this when every time it feels different!?” He closed his eyes again and willed it onward. “It’s so close, but it won’t move,” he grunted.

“How close?” Eleana asked.

“It’s right at my fingertips.” His frustration was growing. “I can’t get it to move past my elbow for wind, it practically jumps out of my arm into Kiora’s foot and now I feel like I have molasses moving through me!” He had moved past frustration into anger. “This is ridiculous.” He flung his hand and the stones went hurtling across the room. Emane’s face fell slack watching the stones clatter to the floor.

“Did I do that?” His eyes lit with the possibility.

“You did,” Eleana spoke through thin lips. “It is not something to be proud of.”

“But they moved,” Emane objected.

“They moved because of your anger, Emane. You are ruled by your emotions and are quick to anger. Dralazar will find out and use it to his advantage.” Eleana looked him square in the eye. “Control it.”

“I was angry when you used the wind to pin Kiora against that wall and nothing happened,” Emane objected, trying to defend himself.

“You have no ability in that area. That leaves you just as useless as a non-magical being where wind is concerned. You have a potential ability with earth. It needs to practice, trained and honed, but the potential is there. When you allowed your anger to take over it reacted with the magic.”

“I don’t understand,” Kiora whispered, her eyebrows pulled together. “You told me that evil crippled Dralazar’s potential. Why would anger make Emane’s stronger?”

“It did not make it stronger. It gave him a quick response. A shortcut if you will. You can use magic through anger but it will only grow so much.” She looked to Emane. “No shortcuts, control your emotions.”

“Isn’t it my emotions that allowed me to heal Kiora?”

“Love and anger are of two entirely different worlds. Anger and hate will twist and turn the ones you love until they are not recognizable anymore.” Eleana stilled, looking very lost in thought before she turned abruptly, heading for the door. “We are done for today,” she said over her shoulder.

***

After breakfast Kiora and Emane returned back to the great room to work with Eleana.

“I would like to work with your weapons today,” she announced, floating into the room.

Emane perked up. Finally something he was comfortable with.

“First we will try a non-magical weapon.” She nodded to the dagger. “Then we’ll move to the enchanted ones.”

He picked up the dagger checking its balance and weight in his hand. “What do you want me to do?”

She pointed to a small silver circle on the back wall of the room. It was no bigger than the top of an acorn. “I want you to throw the dagger from here and hit the center of that.”

Emane’s mouth fell open. “That is at least fifty feet away!” he objected, eyeing the distance. “Maybe more!”

“Sixty-eight.”

“That is impossible! Even if I managed to reach the wall I wouldn’t be able to aim.” He shook his head incredulously, “It’s not possible.”

“It never ceases to amaze me how closed minded you are,” Eleana said.

Emane tensed before he felt Kiora’s hand on his shoulder.

“Is it alright if I help with this?”

Eleana motioned her approval.

Moving in front of Emane, she took his hands. “Emane, yesterday you healed a broken foot with your bare hands. It was impossible and yet you did it. You’re right,” she said jerking her head towards the target, “a non-magical being could not make that shot. You are not a non-magical being, remember? Let your magic help you.” She touched his forehead, “Change what’s in here.” She touched his heart, “and listen to what is in here,” she touched the band wrapped around his arm, “and feel what is in here.”

Emane’s eyes softened as he listened to this young beautiful girl before him who spoke as if she were a hundred years old. “When did you change from the hot headed sixteen year-old girl I first met, into this?”

“She’s still in there.” A smile lit up Kiora’s eyes. “I have just had a lot of conversations with centuries old Guardians and pegasus about believing in myself.”

Emane closed his eyes and tried to erase all doubt from his mind. He felt the magic flowing free and easy. It seemed to fill him and hum in anticipation of throwing the dagger. A smile crept onto his face, it felt like it should. He opened his eyes and focused on the silver circle across the room. He saw the dagger hitting the center in his mind. The flowing magic increased his confidence. He pulled back his arm and threw. The dagger flew end over end not wavering or losing height. It sped towards his target with a speed Emane had never accomplished before, striking the wall just barely to the right of the target.

“That was amazing,” he breathed.

“Good, we will keep practicing.” Eleana flicked her wrist and the dagger pulled itself out of the wall. “Kiora, we will be training you today as well, stay alert,” and with no more warning than that Eleana sent the dagger flying in her direction.

Emane didn’t have time to process what had just happened before Kiora had her hand up. The dagger hurtled across the room at lightning speed stopping mid air inches from her face.

“Good,” Eleana nodded her approval.

Emane felt the anger rising in his throat, then fear and then... something else. Something new and raw and blinding. No sooner had he processed what he was feeling he realized he wasn’t the only one who would have felt that. Nervously he looked over to Kiora. She had felt it, her eyes widened with a startled breath as the dagger clattered to the floor in front of her. He took a step towards her, his hand outstretched, words of explanation on his lips. But she didn’t give him any time, a predictable tear trickled down her cheek and she fled past him stifling a sob.

Chapter Seventeen

LOVE’S FEAR

“KIORA!” HE DIDN’T KNOW what he had expected her reaction to be, but that wasn’t it. He turned to follow her.

“Emane,” Eleana called, stopping him in his tracks. “We need to talk.”

His heart was aching and confused. “I don’t understand, why did she run? Please Eleana, I have to find her.”

“You will not find her in here, not without tracking her thread.”

He turned to the open door she had just run through, his body was screaming at him to follow her. But there was no way he would find her on his own, not in this labyrinth. Eleana was right, she could be anywhere. He dropped wearily into the nearest chair.

“Alright, you win,” he sighed.

“Emane, Kiora is very special.”

“I know.”

“No, I don’t think you truly understand. By choosing her you are putting your heart in a dangerous position, one that Kiora understands. I feel your anger every time she is in harm’s way. You have not yet begun to imagine the situations that she will find herself in. You will be there, watching everything. You will not be ever be able to truly keep her out of harm’s way, for it is along harm’s way that she must travel. You need to make a choice for yourself. You must decide if you will accept what she has to offer.”

“What do you mean, what she has to offer?”

“She offers more than any girl you will ever meet because of who she is. Her powers will increase, her knowledge and her wisdom will grow. You have only seen a glimpse of who she will become. But other things, things that you will want, she will not be able to offer.”

“Such as what?” Emane demanded

“Until this war is over Emane, she will not be free to be anything other than the Solus. Make your choice wisely.” Eleana evaluated him before continuing, “She is behind the waterfall on the twelfth level. There is a small room at the back she has found.” Eleana left the room, her voice floating back in after she was out of sight. “There is a celebration tonight, in your honor. Please do not be late, and dress appropriately.”

Emane sat there staring at the floor his mind racing.
What did he want? Could he control his anger? Was she worth the risk?
He knew the answers. He had to talk to Kiora.

***

Kiora was huddled into the corner of a small room she had found while blindly stumbling around the colony. Pushed up against the cold stone, she sobbed into her knees. How could she have been so blind, and stupid? She knew he cared for her, and she for him. But this was different. The depth of it nearly drowned her.

She took deep gulping breaths trying to calm herself, but she was shivering violently. Grateful for magic, she pictured a fire burning in the middle of the room. A warming fire erupted in front of her, the lone flames lapping happily at the stone. She smiled through the tears. Sticking her hands out to the flames, its warmth penetrated her, warming her, while the mesmerizing patterns of light and shadows calmed her mind.

As the shivers subsided, she felt a little less vulnerable. She shook her head.
I could have pretended not to feel anything,
she thought. Instead she had run away crying and hid like a child. Not willing to focus on the repercussions of what had just happened, her eyes slid back to the fire, letting the flames mesmerize her into blissful numbness.

She felt his thread all too late, the price she paid for choosing not to think. Setting her jaw, she cursed herself for not paying better attention. She was not ready to talk, not ready to face him.

“Hi…” Emane’s voice came.

She winced. He sounded sad, and hurt. “Hi,” she said meekly without looking up.

“You’re not easy to find.”

“But you found me,” she answered coldly.

“I had some help.”

Kiora stared blindly into the fire, she didn’t want to look at him.

“Can we talk?”

“I thought you didn’t like to talk,” she was being cruel, she knew it.

She heard him sigh and fall against the wall. Not looking at him wasn’t helping, she could still imagine exactly what pose he held. The one he always held if he was frustrated and a wall was nearby.

“I don’t understand why you are so angry, Kiora.”

She bit her lip; she didn’t understand why she was angry either. “I don’t know.”

“Kiora,” his voice was so soft, so vulnerable. “Please, look at me.”

Kiora sighed and pulled her eyes away from the flames to look at Emane. He stood there leaning against the doorway just as she thought he would be. He was so beautiful— his blond hair was casually lying across his forehead as it always did, his blue eyes shining just beneath. She felt a stab of regret as she saw the sadness in them. His shoulders, normally proud and strong, seemed to sag.

“Please, you have to talk to me. I can’t make sense of this without it.”

“I don’t know what to say,” her voice trembled.

“May I?” He gestured into the room. She hesitated before nodding.

He walked slowly over to her side as if he were scared that he would frighten her away again. Sitting cautiously down next to her he stared into the fire with her. They sat there side by side, in silence. A thick tangible one full of questions.

“Why did you run? What did you feel Kiora?”

Her throat tightened, pulling her knees up to her chest she said, “You know what I felt.”

He sighed, heavily. The flames of her fire twisted away from his breath. “I thought I did. But your reaction is making me questions whether I know or not.”

Her heart began pounding so hard she thought it was going to beat right out of her chest. “Emane, I…” her voice just stopped, held back by the tugging arm of fear.

“Please, Kiora,” he urged, “tell me what you felt.” His hand came up as if he were going to touch her, but stopped. It wavered there for a second in her peripheral view before he lowered it slowly back to his side.

“You…” she stopped, “I mean I….. I felt…” She paused again.
Why did this scare her so much?
“Love,” she whispered dropping her head onto her knees, refusing to look at him. “I felt love.”

Emane was quiet, his eyes fixed ahead of him.” And that frightens you?”” The lilt in his voice betrayed his pain.

Her legs itched to run, she tightened her arms further around them. “Yes.”

He cleared his throat, “That’s alright, it frightens me as well…” It sounded as if he were trying to convince himself of that as much as he was her. “What I don’t understand is why it makes you angry.”

She wanted to tell him that she wasn’t angry, but the pain lodged in her throat again prevented her from speaking. So she sat there mutely, vaguely aware of tears trickling down her check.

“Are you really going to make me bare my soul before you decide to talk to me?” he asked gently.

Her gaze remained unmoved, refusing to look at him.

“Alright.” Pushing himself to his feet he began walking back and forth across the tiny room trying to formulate his thoughts. She watched only his feet as they paced just behind the fire. “Kiora, I don’t understand why you are surprised. I thought that you cared for me as well. I thought you cared for me as much as I...”

Her head jerked up, starting to object but he put his hand out.

“Stop,” he said running his fingers through his hair. “Please... stop... let me finish. I can’t believe I am saying this and if you stop me now I will never get through it.” He took a deep breath, lurching forward to resume his pacing. “I knew we were something, I wasn’t sure what we were but we both know we were closer than friends.” He looked at her with the same intensity he had when he kissed her, the same depth that made her head spin. Her cheeks flared in response before she looked away. “I believe you even referred to it as a relationship. This...love, is the natural next step for a person.” She startled as he kicked a pebble, sending it clattering across the floor. “Sorry,” he murmured. Turning to her he groaned, “Kiora, I can’t just make this go away. I wasn’t looking for it, and it happened so fast. Kiora,” he pleaded in desperation, “please look at me.” Her eyes slowly rose to meet his. They were dark with desperation and something else. “Kiora,” leaning in as if he wanted to move forward but was riveted in place he said, “I love you.”

Tears rose to her eyes and guilt stabbed her heart, “Emane,” she pleaded gripping her head, “don’t please, I don’t deserve it.”