Wings of a Dove (64 page)

    "Dammit, Allie, stop hiding! Something's wrong. Don't deny it, because I know it's true. You're treating me like a stranger. You're closing me out and I don't like being an outsider. I want you to let me back in."

    "I don't know what you mean."

    A new despair touched Delaney's face. "Why are you lying to me, Allie? You're trying to put distance between us, but I'm not going to let you do it. Something is bothering you. Tell me what it is so I can make it right."

    "There's nothing wrong."

    "Allie, look at me." His hand cupping her chin, Delaney turned Allie back toward him. His gaze was riveting. "Allie, I want you to think back and remember how good it once was between us. You told me then that we were part of each other, that we always would be. You said you would always know my pain feel it deep inside you. Well, I'm hurting now. I don't know what this barrier is between us, but I want it to be gone."

    "Please, Delaney"

    "No, Allie, it's my turn to ask you please please tell me what's wrong." Suddenly slipping his arms around her, Delaney crushed her close as he continued his ardent plea. "Allie, don't you know I love you? Don't you know it's tearing me apart to know that even while I'm holding you in my arms, the distance between us remains? What happened? What did I do to make you turn against me this past month?"

    Maintaining control with sheer strength of will, Allie attempted to draw back from Delaney's embrace. When he refused to release her, she looked up, her expression unyielding.

    "Let me go, Delaney."

    "No, not until you tell me what's wrong."

    "I'm going home."

    "Home!" Delaney paused. "You
are
home."

    "No, I'm not!" Allie's response was instantaneous. "Home is where James and I made a life together."

    "James is gone, Allie. My quarrel with him is over, and I don't want to fight anymore. I want to know why you're angry with me, so I can make it better. I want to take care of you, to keep you with me the rest of my life."

    Sincerity shone from his eyes, and Allie fought to retain her resolve. Words they were only words. Delaney had shown before how easily he forgot similar words spoken with the same fervor. She could not let herself believe him again.

    She shook her head. "I'm going back to the farm."

    Delaney's reaction to her flat statement was a tightening of his embrace. He swallowed deeply, and she could feel his strong body tremble as his voice emerged in a ragged whisper.

    "I said before that it's my turn to say please, so I'll say it again. Please let me love you, Allie. Please let me take care of you. Please let me keep you with me the rest of my life. Now that you're with me again, I can't let you go. Allie, please…"

    Allie closed her eyes, bleeding inside at Delaney's despair. She could feel the wall around her heart crumbling, its roar echoing in her ears with the wild drumming of her heart. Her proud, independent Delaney was begging her to love him! Didn't he know couldn’t he see that she had never
stopped
loving him, that loving him was as spontaneous as each breath she breathed?

    Able to bear the torment no longer, Allie struggled to free     herself, rasping a low "Let me go!", only to feel her struggles slowly die at his whispered appeal.

    "Don't pull away from me, Allie. Try to remember how it was. I remember. You lived within me even when I was empty inside. You smiled, and I was happy. You laughed, and I found joy. And when you spoke, my heart responded with a voice so clear that it still resounds in my mind. You loved me once, Allie you made me love you then. I still love you."

    Delaney's eyes burned with intensity, and the misery visible in their clear depths increased her distress. She ached to assuage that pain that wounded her so deeply as well. The brush of Delaney's lips against hers was balm to her distress as he continued.

    "I remember our last night together, Allie. I've relived it countless times in my dreams. I remember holding you in my arms, feeling you beneath me. I remember realizing I'd never felt really alive before that moment. I remember knowing I was whole at last, with you the most important part of me. You're my heart, Allie, and if I have a soul at all, it's you. You taught me how to love again. Let me do the same for you. Let me love you."

    Delaney's voice reverberated in her mind as his lips caressed her brow, her cheek, the line of her jaw. He brushed her mouth with his, and Allie's breath caught in her throat as his mouth settled on hers, more firmly than before. She stood motionless, powerless to resist their hungry seeking as he separated her lips with his.

    Yes, she remembered. The urgency rapidly building inside her as Delaney's passion deepened was familiar. That same need now drew her arms around Delaney's neck to clasp him close. The myriad colors inundating her mind as her tongue met his in loving response bore a reminiscent hue, and as Delaney melded her to him, her heart raced with long-absent joy.

    But it was a debilitating joy that robbed her of the strength to protest as Delaney lifted her into his arms and carried her into his room. It made her gasp with rapture as, his hard body warm upon her, his welcome weight holding her firm against the bed, he sought the comfort of her body. It made her glory in his response as she met kiss with kiss, caress with caress, indulging the wonder that raged between them.

    Her flesh bared against Delaney's at last, Allie shared his passion. He entered her, and she gasped her bliss as he overwhelmed her slender form with his power. Her mind echoed his words as he rasped; "I love you, Allie."

    She was unable to speak past the exhilaration that filled her as the rhythm of their lovemaking grew more intense, as she gave to him fully. Her joy swelled at the loving litany Delaney breathlessly whispered as they neared culmination. Gasping, she shared his fulfillment, the soft sound joining his low cry to linger in her mind long moments after all was still.

    But reality returned. With it came a devastating rush of shame at the ease with which Delaney had slipped behind her defenses, and Allie closed her eyes against the pain of that realization. She opened them a moment later to find Delaney studying her face, his expression concerned. His eyes were filled with tenderness, the same tenderness that had so easily defeated her resolve. She steeled herself against it.

    His gaze slipped to the silver disk lying between her breasts, and he took it into his hand as he looked back up into her face.

    "Do you remember what you told me a long time ago, Allie? You told me that the Lady brought us together. I've never believed it, but I know that this medal binds us, whatever the reason. It always will."

    He lowered his head to kiss her once more. He frowned when she averted her face and whispered, "Margaret will be home any minute."

    Silent at her response, he studied her expression a moment longer before nodding and standing up beside the bed. He pulled her to her feet beside him. She resisted when he attempted to draw her into his arms again, and she felt his eyes upon her as she turned to pick up her black mourning dress. They were both fully dressed when Delaney tilted her face up to his. His gentleness tore at her heart as he whispered, "I love you, Allie. I can wait a little longer if you need time. Just don't shut me out, darling. That's all I ask."

    Olga's voice sounded in the foyer, saving her the need for response as Delaney walked quickly out into the hall.

    Alone in her room a few minutes later, her agonized regrets overwhelming, Allie knew what she must do.

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    The warm breeze from the river carried a familiar stench, interrupting his thoughts as Delaney walked along the crowded street, and he marveled at the odors genteel women shoppers would endure in order to patronize this popular Lake Street shopping district. But he supposed a street bursting with shops, stores, and wholesale warehouses and teeming with stevedores, sidewalk peddlers, and fishmongers was irresistible to an experienced shopper's discerning eye.

    Delaney raised his gaze to the numerous signs displayed under and above the colorful awnings that lined the street on both sides, advertising rare books, hats, caps, furs, dry goods, and carpets, but his objective was none of those fine establishments. He had in mind a dressmaker's shop at the far end of the street, which had served him well since Allie reentered his life.

    Slowing his brisk step to avoid colliding with a pair of matrons taking advantage of the mildness of midday to stroll at a snail's pace past the attractive store windows, Delaney fought his impatience. He took his first opportunity to slip past them, his mind filled with the plans he had made since Allie's and his loving encounter that morning.

    A small discomfort returning, Delaney frowned. He regrettable the disquiet Allie had displayed when the heat of their loving was over, but his selfish heart felt little remorse. He loved her, and he could not make himself regret their lovemaking. It had been a beautiful, natural joining of two parts of a single hum? spirit, and it had renewed him. He consoled himself that time would heal Allie's unease. When that time came, he knew she would be happy. But in the interim, he had decided to progress with plans that had already been delayed too long.

    The brightly striped awning he sought came into view at the end of the street, and Delaney hastened his step. The proprietress of the shop, a small, smiling Frenchwoman, had proved her patience was without end and her skill unmatched, and he had work for her this day.

    Striding to the door of the small shop, Delaney entered and waited impatiently until the curtains at the rear of the store parted and Madame
Denieve
stepped through.

    ''Ah, Monsieur Marsh! I am most pleased to see you. How may I help you?"

    Delaney's handsome face was sober, his eyes direct as they     dwelled momentarily on the dark-haired woman's inquisitive expression. A smile flickered across his lips as he responded quietly, "I've come with another commission for you, Madame
Denieve
. I'd like you to make a wedding gown."

    Margaret's voice rose from the foyer below, announcing her return, and Allie anxiously smoothed the skirt of her fresh mourning gown with a nervous hand, then walked swiftly to the door of her room. Stepping into the hall, she crossed to the railing as Dr. Willis and Margaret raised smiling faces toward her.

    "Mama, Dr. Willis and I had a wonderful time. We took a long ride and we"

    "Margaret dear, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but we haven't much time. We must leave immediately if we're to make the afternoon train."

    "The afternoon train?" Dr. Willis's response reflected his surprise.

    "Yes, Margaret and I are leaving. We're going home."

    "Mama!"

    "Margaret, I'm sorry this is so unexpected, but I don't have time to explain. Everything will be all right, dear. I've packed your things." Turning her gaze toward the startled doctor, Allie attempted a reassuring smile. "I'll make certain Dr. Peters keeps a close eye on Margaret, Dr. Willis, but if I could ask one thing more of you?" At Dr. Willis's nod, Allie continued, "If you could summon a hack and help me lift Margaret into the carriage…?"

    Ignoring Dr. Willis's obvious disapproval and Margaret's bewilderment as they stared up at her in silence, Allie turned abruptly and walked back to her room. She approached the dresser, seeing in the mirror there the reason for Dr. Willis's concern. Her face was pinched, unnaturally white, her dark eyes shadowed, her lips unsteady. But her appearance was of little consequence.

    Emptying her mind of thought, Allie picked up her small dark hat and secured it atop her neatly bound hair. The white envelope on the corner of the dresser was reflected in the glass, and she picked it up with a trembling hand. The paper seemed to    scorch her palm as she walked to the bed and placed the note on the pillow.

    Her throat tightening, Allie closed her eyes briefly as a great swell of regret swept her mind. She swallowed against her anguish and raised her hands to the neckline of her dress. Slowly, with fingers made clumsy by distress, she withdrew the medal and slipped it off over her head. She clutched it tightly, myriad emotions assailing her as she opened her hand to stare down at it for the last time. The Lady's dear face was exquisitely clear to her as Allie's voice emerged in a low, trembling whisper. "Forgive me."

    Unable to bear any more, Allie placed the medal beside the envelope and picked up her small traveling case. With a rapid step she walked to the door and descended the stairs to the first floor.

    Dr. Willis's lined face was grave. "Are you certain you're not making a mistake, dear?"

    Allie's short response" I'm sure” was choked with emotion.

    Allie walked through the doorway toward the carriage where Margaret awaited her. Aware that Dr. Willis was close at her heels, she turned toward him as she reached the curb. Unable to speak, she pressed a kiss against his cheek before assuming the seat beside Margaret. Seconds later the carriage lurched into motion.

    Delaney stared with a deepening sense of unreality at the small white envelope on the pillow of Allie's bed. He snatched it up and tore it open, gripping the thin sheet inside with a trembling hand. The neat script was achingly familiar to him and he swallowed at the painful constricting of his throat as he started to read.