Wine and Whiskey (Surviving Absolution #1) (8 page)

Even with her unintentional
indecisiveness, his tenderness never wavers. After she nods, he draws back the
white comforter on the platform bed. He climbs in next to her, wrapping his arm
around her waist and laying his head on her shoulder.

“I don’t want to embarrass you, but
you’re so nervous I need to know. Are you a virgin?”

She puts her arm on top of his, almost
hugging herself more than him, comforting herself from being so wounded she
can’t hide her fear. “No. I had a boyfriend in college. We were each other’s
firsts.”

“What happened to him? Why did you break
up?”

What can she say about the man who loved
her, but her mother hated? Who wanted to give her a nice, quiet life as a
doctor’s wife when she tired of the frantic pace of the music
industry.
Who her mom swore would leave her for some gold-digging
nurse at the hospital. “Evan’s very sweet. A really good guy. The kind of man
you could marry and be happy with for the rest of your life. But he and my mom
didn’t get along.”

His body stiffens next to her, his arm
tightening around her waist. “Why not?”

All three of them guilty. All of them
making irrational decisions that hurt themselves and each other. Not realizing
the effect on her until she met Nick. “She didn’t trust him, even though he
never gave either of us any reason not to. She said he was just like every
other man—if you gave him your heart, he would break it. I never could convince
her he wasn’t like that.” She takes a deep breath, seeking to release her
tension from the memories. “I tried to make it work. Eventually, I had to
choose between them.”

“So, you would be with him now if it
wasn’t for your mom?”

“I hadn’t thought about it like that, but
yes, I guess so.” No more questions come. Unable to see his face in the
darkness, she entwines her fingers in his, trying to make a connection with him
again. “What about you? You’re a cute guy. You’ve probably had lots of women in
your life.”

He laughs softly, his breath warming her
shoulder through the thin fabric of the borrowed T-shirt. “Not as many as you
seem to think.”

“What’s not too many?”

“I dated a few women in college. Nothing
serious. There was a woman I was seeing a few years ago, but it wasn’t good. I
seem to have a bad habit of dating women who have a lot of drama in their
lives.” His hand grazes her cheek as he nuzzles her hair. “I think I’ve made a
better choice this time.”

She smiles at the humor in his voice,
responding to his returned playfulness. “Oh? I didn’t realize you were seeing
someone.”

His fingers move to her ribs, making her
squeal with laughter. “Always trying to be funny, aren’t you?”

They’re quiet for a few minutes. She
traces his arm with her fingertips, wondering why he settles for cuddling with
her when both of them want so much more, questioning how he can accept being
with her like this when there are so many women willing to give him what he
needs.

“Do you regret it?” His soft voice in her
ear brings her back to him. “Do you wish you were still with Evan?”

Rolling toward him, she wraps her arm
around his waist and whispers, “No, because then I wouldn’t be here with you.”

He turns away and sits up, swinging his
legs over the side of the bed.

She reaches for him, the muscles in his
arm pulsing under her fingertips. “Nick, wait! What’s wrong?”

Grasping her hand, he kisses her palm
before pressing it to his chest and letting out a long breath. “When you say
stuff like that, it makes it hard for me to hold back. I just need a minute to
cool down.”

Her heart races as she curls up behind
him and rests her cheek on his back. One word is all it would take to have him
turn around and take her in his arms. Make love to her like she wants. Too
scared to admit her true feelings, she closes her eyes, letting the tears
escape. She’s a fool for ever thinking she could let herself be loved again.

He shifts around on the bed and cups her
face. “Please don’t cry.”

She wraps her fingers around his. “You’re
so patient with me. I don’t know why I can’t stop being afraid and be with
you.”

“I want you.” He gazes at her through
hooded eyes. “God, do I want you, but I’ll wait forever if I have to.”

Rubbing his thumbs across her cheeks, he
wipes away the tears and kisses her gently. She lies down again with him curled
behind her, his arm wrapped around her waist. Peace fills her body as she snuggles
against him, welcoming his warmth and protectiveness.

As she drifts off, a faraway voice
whispers in her ear, “I love you, Shae.”

Her eyes fly open. Familiar panic fills
her chest. He may think he loves her, but she needs to protect her heart.
Waiting for his breath to slow with sleep, she plans her escape.

* * * *

In the dim morning light, Nick squints,
trying to make out the numbers on the clock.
8:02

He smiles to himself as his head falls
back against the pillow. He never sleeps this late. Because he’s never had a
woman like Shae lying next to him, warming his bed with something more than
sex. Ignoring the throbbing of his groin from thinking about her delicate
softness pressed against him, he reaches for her, but all his fingers caress is
the cold sheet.

Sitting up, he scans across the sitting
area, wet bar, and fireplace. The room is as empty as his bed. Her dress and
shoes are gone. The improvised nightgown lies folded neatly on the bedside
table. Bringing the T-shirt to his face, his heart constricts at the smell of
her light, flowery scent.

He jumps out of bed and jogs down the
stairs, taking them two at a time. Only silence greets him as he races through
the foyer. “Shae?”

In the kitchen, Max looks up from pouring
whey powder into the blender for a protein shake. “She left about three hours
ago. Marta took her home.”

“Fucking shit!” Nick drives his hand
through his hair at the realization she still doesn’t trust him, at the
disappointment she’d rather sneak away than give him a chance. “Why the fuck
didn’t you wake me up?”

Max chuckles and shakes his head.
“Because she asked me not to.”

His head throbs from clenching his jaw so
tightly. He spits out the words through gritted teeth, “Now you’re taking
orders from her? Who the fuck do you work for?”

“Right now, I wish it was her, you stupid
fuck.” Tossing the measuring cup back into the canister, Max rolls his neck
before looking at him. “What the fuck did you expect me to do? I find a scared
woman alone in the living room who’s freaking out and wants to leave. You
really think it would be a good idea to force her to stay while I get your ass
out of bed? I knew Marta would be going to six o’clock mass, so I asked her to
take Shae home.”

The muscles contracting in his neck
release. Max is right, and he’s a fucking dick. “Good move.”

“You’re welcome.”

Nick puts his fists to his eyes. “Why
does she keep doing this? Why does she keep running from me?”

“I don’t know. But from what I’ve seen,
she’s the kind of woman worth chasing. You need to find out what’s scaring her
and fix it.”

“I’m trying, Max. I’m really fucking
trying.”

Nick grabs his phone from the counter
before heading into his office. His mind races as he drops into his desk chair.
Last night was perfect. Never once did she seem anything but happy. A little
timid in the bedroom. His groin tightens at the thought of her wearing only
that silver bra and tiny panties. Well okay, maybe a lot timid. Unlike any of
the other women he’s had in there. Different from any woman he’s ever known.
Exactly why he wants her, no matter how long he has to wait for her to believe
it.

He takes a deep breath and types on the
screen.

Hi.

Her response is almost instantaneous.

Hi.

The taut
muscles in his chest relax. She’s not completely gone, even if the connection
is only through their phones.

Why did you leave?

I don’t know.

Neither does
he
. But, he sure as hell is going to do everything he can to
make her stop running, to find a way for her to trust him.

I want to see you. Will you come back?

No answer.

Can I come over there?

Nothing. His fingers tap furiously, but
pause as her text comes through.

Yes.

I’m on my way.

His breath catches as he pulls into her
driveway. She stands in the doorway, wearing a pink and yellow sundress with
straps so tiny they would snap if pulled too hard. With one hand behind the
door and the other on the knob, she uses it almost as a shield, partially
hiding herself. A shy smile crosses her face as he climbs out of the car.

Forcing himself not to run, he strides up
the white, stone sidewalk. Unable to hold back once he reaches her, he sweeps
her up, burying his face in her neck, breathing in a hint of her soft, flowery
perfume. “What do I have to do to prove I love you and won’t hurt you?”

“Nothing.”

Her answer is a wisp of breath against
his hair. If he didn’t have her pressed against him, he wouldn’t have heard it.
The death grip she has on him, her arms coiled around his neck, and her legs
squeezing his waist, tell him even more than her words she believes him. At
least in this moment. “If you get scared or upset, tell me. Don’t run away.”

She nods, her deep breath tickling his
neck. As relief washes over him, another sensation begins to build. Her sweet
body clings to his, the cashmere skin of her bare shoulders sparkling in the
sunlight, dress bunched up so he could easily slip his hands underneath. He
swallows hard, trying to clear his throat and his mind. “What do we do now?”

Slowly sliding down his front, she looks
up to him. Both her eyes and her smile sparkle with happiness. “Will you spend
the day with me?”

He would take a bullet before he’d tell
her no. “Here? With you? I guess so…”

She giggles at his teasing before her
small, soft hand slides into his. “Come on. I’ll show you my favorite thing to
do on a lazy Sunday.”

They walk through the house to a
two-tiered wooden deck cloaked by thick walls of trees and bushes. On the lower
level, a patio table with a red umbrella and four yellow and red stripped
chairs sits near a silver grill. An enormous white hammock swings between two wooden
posts a few feet in front of them. Three small stacks of books cover the table
next to it. He nods towards them. “Are those yours?”

“Most of them. Carrie has a few, but she
doesn’t really like to read.”

He reaches over and picks up one with a
half-naked man on the cover. “Are you reading this?”

Her bubbly laughter as she shakes her
head eliminates his remaining tension. “No, it’s Carrie’s. She likes the
naughty ones.”

He flips to the bookmarked page and
begins to read aloud. “‘
I’m going to take you now. I’m going to take you hard and fast until
you scream my name. When you scream my name, then I’ll know you’re mine. All
mine. You belong to me.’”
He raises his eyebrows. “This explains a
lot.”

Pink tinges her face as she plucks the
book out of his hand and tosses it back on the table. “Come on, let’s find
something better.”

She picks up
The Winter of Our Discontent
and hands it to him. They lay cuddled
together in the fabric sling as he reads the first few chapters aloud, his
fingers stroking across her cheek and into her silky hair. Her even breathing
and soft body confirm she’s relaxed too. A quiet easiness between them he never
knew he craved until she created it for him. He stops and smiles at her attempt
to muffle a yawn. “Am I boring you?”

“Sorry! No, my…boyfriend kept me up late
last night. I’m a little bit sleepy.”

His heart skips a beat at the message she
sends with her choice of words. “Well, he must be a real ass keeping you from
your beauty sleep.”

She lifts her head and looks at him. An
emotion he hopes is love swirls in her deep blue eyes as her chin rests on his
chest. “Absolutely not. He’s perfect.”

Rising up on his elbow, he kisses her
lips. “I could go for a nap too, but you have to promise me you’ll be here when
I wake up.”

“I promise.”

With her curled next to him, he closes
his eyes and lets himself go, allowing the thought of her always being with him
to float into his mind. She fits perfectly in his arms and in his life, sealing
his fate from the moment he watched the first graceful curve of her hands
across her body.