Wilson Mooney, Almost Eighteen (17 page)

I felt my phone vibrate in my little
tiny blue pocket. It was Joanie, my best friend in the entire
world. I must have been sitting in a spot that gets cell reception
because it also vibrated with five text messages and four
voicemails.

I answered her call, “Hi
J.”

“
Wilson, what is going on?
I’m freaking out over here. You can’t leave me texts like that. I
need clear spelled out detailed information,” she paused to take a
breath.

“
Sorry, I know. The minute
I sent it I knew I should’ve just called you.”

“
Well? Details and don’t
leave anything out. Did you see Mr. Goldstein? What happened?” her
voice jumped over itself.

“
Yeah, I saw him. Joanie,
he spent the night with me.” The words tumbled out of my
mouth.

“
GET OUT, You’re such a
liar! How did it happen, every detail? Was he any good?”

“
J, we didn’t do anything
like that. He came over to Cindy’s with his brother
Calvin.”

“
He has a brother? How old
is he?” I could hear her smiling.

“
I think he’s a little
older than us. Anyway, we got to talking and one thing led to
another and he kissed me in a bathroom.”

“
Oh My God, you’re killing
me, I can’t believe this. He kissed you—in a bathroom. Was it wet?
Did he stick his tongue in your mouth? Was he any good? I can’t
frickin believe it. Mr. Goldstein.” She wouldn’t stop
talking.

“
He was better than good.
It was so unbelievable. He was really, really good. Like he knew
what he was doing—good.” I felt pressure rise in my chest and my
face burst a smile I couldn’t contain.

“
What about Cindy? Does she
know? Because if she knows, we’re so screwed.” That was what I
loved about Joanie, she dove right in and lived experiences with
me. I could feel her excitement for me, her protective presence,
and I knew it was real. She was real. So I knew when she found out
he was with someone else, she would feel as betrayed as I
did.

“
Cindy doesn’t know. But I
think her brother does.”

“
Wait Cindy has a brother?
She never told us she had a brother.”

“
Yeah, half brother. Nick,
a real down to Earth guy, you would really like him. Anyway, I was
supposed to meet Max here at the ski resort.”

“
MAX, you called him by his
first name?” she choked.

“
He told me to. It would
sound too weird if he finished French kissing me and I called him
Mr. Goldstein.”

“
Yeah you’re right, so what
are you doing now?”

“
Well I’m sitting here in
the lodge waiting for Cindy to finish skiing. I kinda fell going
down the hill.”

“
Kinda fell? Are you okay?
Why is Cindy still skiing? That is so—her!” I could hear the
protective side of her search for the answers to what was
happening.

“
I was going to go down the
bunny slope when I saw Max hugging another girl. J she was really,
really pretty. And she looked older than me, closer to his age,
completely out of my league.” I stopped talking. She could hear in
my voice that I was going to cry.

“
Wilson, don’t cry. Now
stop. Wait. Don’t ever think someone is better than you. I don’t
care what they look like. You are so beautiful and smart; there is
no reason to feel that way. Did he grab her or did she grab
him?”

“
What does that
matter?”

“
Because if she grabbed
him; it wasn’t his fault. Girls can be very overbearing. You know
that. Did he kiss her?” her voice was low and monotone.

“
She grabbed him, but he
held her in his arms. Then she pulled off his beanie and he smiled.
I didn’t see him kiss her.” I was still mad.

“
Well there you go, Wilson,
she grabbed him, he didn’t kiss her and so what if he smiled at
her. All of this doesn’t tell me how you got hurt.”

“
I decided to get away from
seeing them together. I leaned too far forward and stacked down the
hill.”

“
Who stopped
you?”

“
Max?” I said as I looked
up from the hot cocoa I was swirling as I talked to Joanie. He was
standing in front of me, waiting for me to finish my phone
conversation.

“
Max stopped you?” I heard
Joanie ask me.

“
No Joanie, I need to call
you back,” my voice was low. I closed the phone and slipped it into
my little pocket.

I was so confused. When I thought
about him with another girl I could feel the hurt seep into every
corner of my body. But when I stared into his eyes, he captured my
heart and filled me with such want, I ached. I didn’t want to give
into him. He stood there waiting for me to invite him to sit. I
didn’t.

“
Are you okay? I saw you
fall down the hill, it looked really bad.” He dropped his hand
bouncing it on the chair in front of him.

“
I couldn’t focus, I became
distracted when I leaned forward and started going down the slope.
I lost my balance and fell forward.” I waited for him to talk
again.

“
Good thing that guy Wayne
was there to help you,” he mumbled.

“
I guess,” I
spat.

“
You seemed really
comfortable with him.” He looked into my eyes.

“
Not really. He was the
only guy that wasn’t preoccupied with a girl clamped on his body.”
I looked down at my drink.

The wheels spun in his head as he
tried to figure out where I was going with it.

“
I don’t understand what
you’re saying. I’m really lost because, last night,” his voice
rose. He cleared his throat and started whispering, “Last night,
meant something to you right? Because I can’t do this with you.” He
stepped back.

“
You know, I thought last
night was great. Better than great…it was amazing…even unmatchable.
But today, I watched you hold a beautiful girl against your chest.
Looking at her like she was the only one you wanted. You’re right.
You can’t do this with me. I can’t be a weekend girl for you.” I
stomped to the woman’s bathroom. The door slammed shut. I cranked
the knob on the sink and held my hands under the water until I had
a puddle I could splash across my face. It was so hard to tell him
that. I kept splashing water against my face, careful to keep my
bandage dry, yet trying to cool the fire that raged.

The door swung open, it was Max. My
jaw hit the floor. I couldn’t believe he was in the woman’s
restroom. The one place any girl knew was untouchable for a guy. He
leaned against the door keeping space between us.

“
Wilson, don’t play this
game with me. I didn’t risk everything to be with you only to waste
it on a misunderstanding.”

“
I saw everything. How she
jumped into your arms and you held her tight to your body. The way
you looked at her. When she touched—you”

A toilet flushed causing both of us to
wait. He stood rigid apologizing with his body language to the
older woman who acted like she didn’t see us together in the
bathroom. She washed her hands and slid out. Max pushed the door
shut and twisted the lock

A smile splashed across his face. “You
have nothing to worry about.” He walked closer to me.

“
I know, because I’m just a
naïve high schooler who was given a chance to experience what it
felt like to kiss her government teacher.”

I turned away from him. He stood
unmoved.

I know what I did. I stabbed him
through the heart with my words drenched in taboo.

“
Is that how you see me—as
your government teacher? Because if I saw you as a student; I
wouldn’t be here right now. When I look at you, I see the girl I
want to be with. Since the first day you walked into my room.” He
stared at me through the huge mirror above the sink; pain was
etched in the stress lines of his face.

There was something safe about the
mirror; I didn’t crumble in his pain.

“
I know where I’ve drawn my
line. There’s nobody I’ve felt this way about in my entire life and
I’m scared. Scared of what you might think, how it all feels, and
I’m scared of being hurt. Max, seeing you with that girl—hurt.”
Tears sped down my cheeks, “why do you want to be with me?” I
whispered.
I was
Seventeen and inexperienced; she was his age and
worldly.

“
You really don’t see it?
When I am with you; I can’t keep my head from swimming, and my
heart from pounding so hard it feels like it’s going to burst from
my chest. You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my
life. You are so smart; I finally feel alive when I am with you. I
want to be with you because nobody has ever made me feel the way
you do.” He stood behind me, his body pressed against my back; he
slid his hands around my waist and dropped his mouth to my ear.
“She’s a family friend. I’ve known her since we were little. Her
parents and my parents are good friends. I swear to you, she is
nothing more than a friend. Wilson…I’m so sorry.” He turned me
around. I felt his hand sweep the tears off my cheeks.

“
I’m not used to this. It’s
so intense. I feel like such an idiot.” I buried my face in his
chest and tried to apologize. “I’m sorry for jumping to
conclusions.” He elevated my head to look at him.

“
It’s okay. Don’t
apologize, I understand.” He pushed me to his chest and wrapped his
arms tight around. His hand stroked across my hair and I felt the
same hypnotic rhythm that tamed the worry in my body when I was
little. He pressed his lips to the top of my head. I found home in
his arms; I was convinced she was nothing more than a friend to
him.

I heard a key enter and the lock twist
to open. I forgot we were in a public restroom. How embarrassing
was this going to be? Max pulled me into one of the stalls. I heard
the resort employee tell the person it shouldn’t have been
locked.

“
Shhh. Don’t make any
noise,” he whispered so low I almost couldn’t hear him.

It was a good thing the stall was
enclosed all the way to the floor and there was some soothing music
playing to camouflage our conversation. I tried to keep quiet, but
it was really hard looking at him and seeing the faces he kept
making at me. I had to clear my throat.

“
Shhh,” he covered my mouth
with his lips. He tasted scrumptious, cinnamon with a hint of
sugar. Low tingling in my body demanded my hands to tangle in his
hair. The stall was so small our bodies pressed firm against each
other. My body was teeming in the baby blue man magnet ski outfit.
He dropped his lips from mine following the line of my jaw, I
pulled my head back. He reached his hands to my zipper and pulled
it down to my navel. The flush of cool air raged across my
uncovered skin. His lips followed the open space inviting him in.
His hands drifted up under the suit peeling it off my shoulders,
dragging it back off my skin. He stopped and his eyes tracked
mine.

“
Are you okay?” he asked. I
nodded a slight bounce yes.

I had a myriad of different emotions
flood my body. I wanted him to touch me, kiss me and press against
me so hard I could feel our bodies melt, but I was scared.
Frightened of the emotional responsibility it created. He was so
experienced and I wasn’t. How far were we going to let this go? He
kissed the top of my shoulder dragging his lips up across to my
neck right below my earlobe. He pulled away when he noticed I
froze.

“
Did I do something wrong?”
he asked in a hushed voice.

I didn’t say anything I just shook my
head. There was nothing he did wrong. He knew exactly how to make
me quake and shiver deep in my body with just his kiss.
Overwhelming urges surged through my body and I didn’t know how to
stop them. My eyes glossed with tears of relief. He wanted only me
and I wanted him in a way the stall wouldn’t allow.

“
Let’s get out of here.
Take me somewhere. I want to go with you,” I whispered and wiped my
eyes. Even though I didn’t know if I was ready for him, I didn’t
care. I wanted to get away with him alone.

“
What about Cindy? You
can’t leave her here.”

“
I can take care of Cindy
but Nick’s going to pick us up at four. Can you get me back here by
four?” He pulled up the collar on my suit, sliding it back over my
shoulders.

“
Yeah, I think I can do
that.” He pulled the zipper on my space suit; his eyes danced with
mine.

“
I guess I should have
asked you, if you wanted to take me?” I whispered.

“
In more ways than you
know.” He smiled, “I have the perfect place.” He reached across,
his hand brushed my waist, and he turned the lock on the stall.
“Meet me out front in ten minutes at the big marble bench,” he
murmured into my ear.

My heart bounced as I kissed him in
the space below his jaw. I snuck out of the stall, washed my hands,
and entered into the reality of a secret love.

Chapter Thirteen:

There has always been something
private about bathrooms. Usually you were in them alone and you
would get out as fast as you went in. So I couldn’t figure out what
it meant when the two times Max and I really started to make out,
we were in bathrooms. There had to be some correlation between him
and private spaces. Maybe it was because it was the one place
people wouldn’t barge in on you. At least now we were going to get
some time alone away from vanities and toilets. All I needed to do
was get out before Cindy saw me and find my way to the big marble
bench; easy enough. My heart was in my throat and my butterflies
were hovering somewhere below my stomach.