Willow Spring (9 page)

So, when she eliminated the idea of running away from everything, that left only two options.

Accept your life as it is—accept that you’re going to stay in this town, running the bookstore, being the smiling-on-the-outside-while-you’re-crying-on-the-inside matchmaker for the rest of your days.

Or seriously fight to win the man you love.

Even if fighting, at this moment, meant only being brave enough to send him another missive from his secret admirer.

Letting out the breath she hadn’t quite realized she was holding, she swallowed back her tears and forced herself to toughen up. Because that was how it had to be. She had a letter to write. And then she had to walk back out of this house and straight into the party she was hosting, head held high.

Passing back through Edna’s front parlor, she spied an old rolltop desk, the top open. And it took only a slight pull on one drawer to locate a stack of small folded note cards, the corners adorned with an antique-looking rose design. She knew Edna would gladly donate one to the cause.

As she seated herself in the wooden chair before the desk, it occurred to her that this particular note card seemed made for sweet, shy, flowery sentiments of burgeoning affection. However, at the moment, she felt far too desperate—and even daring—for that. Now was the time to be more outgoing, like Tessa had prodded her to before. And she didn’t have time to sit around analyzing this—so she just wrote.

Dear Logan,

When I see you, it’s all I can do not to melt into a puddle of desire. I want to know how it feels to have your hands on me. And to know how it feels to touch you, as well. All over. With you, I yearn to let go of all my fears and inhibitions and just do what my body urges me to. You are my dream, my fantasy. And with each passing day, I wonder more and more if it can ever come true. I only hope and pray I can somehow find the courage to tell you who I am. Soon. Before it’s too late.

Your Secret Admirer

When she was done, she read back over it. A puddle of desire? Yikes, where had that come from? And
all over?
What my body urges me to?
Good Lord, who was she?

Well, she was a woman driven to desperate measures, obviously. Which was what desperate times called for. And as she rose from the desk and walked into the kitchen, stopping to peer out the window, the first people she caught sight of were Anna and Logan—she touched his arm now as she leaned in to tell him something private—and the sight reminded Amy that these were definitely desperate times.

Taking a deep breath, she put on a smile and walked out the door, doing her best to keep the note card hidden. Though even if anyone noticed it, they’d think it just belonged on a shower gift.

She’d taken only a few steps when Tessa looked up from a conversation with Lettie Hart and Old Mrs. Lampley to meet her gaze knowingly, as if she could tell something was up. So Amy wasted no time casting a speedy glance toward Logan and Anna—ugh, they were laughing now—then quickly flashed the card in her hand. Tessa winked, and Amy knew her friend got the message.

“Hey, freckles.”

Crap.
Now, Logan? Really?
She looked up to see him walking toward her and re-hid the card behind her back.

“Logan!” Tessa called, and hurriedly broke away from the other ladies to make her way over. And before he even reached Amy, Tessa grabbed onto his arm and said, “We need you over here for a big bridesmaid-and-groomsmen discussion about Rachel and Mike’s wedding.”

As she began to drag him away, he pointed toward Amy and said, “Well,
she’s
in the wedding, too,” but thankfully, Tessa just kept talking, something about who was escorting who down the aisle, and she also kept dragging Logan deeper into the clumps of people milling about. Which gave Amy the chance to finally sneak away.

Fortunately, no one else noticed or called after her as she made a beeline toward the many cars parked neatly beneath the first few rows of apple trees growing along Sugar Creek. As she grew closer, she felt as if the foliage made her all the more inconspicuous.

Though as she neared Logan’s car, she spotted Duke Dawson coming in the opposite direction. Duke was Lucky Romo’s best friend and owned the biker bar, Gravediggers, over in Crestview. He wore a trim, dark goatee, sported a few tattoos, and generally made Amy a little nervous. She’d heard a motorcycle in the vicinity a minute ago, so it must have been his.

“Hi,” she said simply as they prepared to pass one another in the cool shade the trees provided. They’d only met a couple of times in passing, at Lucky’s place, next to Tessa’s on Whisper Falls Road.

“You’re Tessa’s cute little friend, right?” he asked.

Huh. So maybe she
was
cute. Only—wait,
Duke
thought she was cute? She wasn’t sure whether to be flattered or frightened.

“Um, right,” she managed, picking up her pace a little as she moved past him.

He stopped, gave his head a tilt. “Where ya runnin’ off to, cutie?”

Oh dear. “I . . . just need to get something from my car.”

“Need help?”

Sheesh—Lucky’s intimidating biker buddy had to pick now to be chivalrous? Why did guys keep offering to help her
today
when—of all times
ever
—she really needed to be left alone?

“No—I’m good, thanks.” She pointed toward the party. “Lucky and Tessa are over there.”

“Okay then,” he said, looking amused, as if he thought he made her nervous. And on a normal day, yes,
of course
he would have been making her nervous. But today—nope, she already had enough to be uncomfortable about for one little comment from Duke Dawson to add to it.

Finally, Duke went on his way, so Amy did, too, and just when she’d reached Logan’s car, she heard Rachel call out, “Tessa said to hurry up, that she can’t keep Logan occupied all day—whatever that means.”

And Amy nearly leaped out of her skin. Spinning, she spouted, “Oh my gosh, where did you come from? Quit sneaking up on me like that.”

“Sorry,” Rachel said as she approached, looking as summer chic as ever in a sleek, silky dress and strappy platform shoes. “But what are you hurrying to do, and what is she occupying Logan for?”

“For crying out loud,” Amy murmured. She might have to kill Tessa now—if Tessa weren’t busy being such a good friend. And for the moment, all she could reply to Rachel was, “It’s a long story. Just please act like you don’t know anything for now.”

“That’ll be easy since I don’t. But I want to.” Her eyes dropped to the note card in Amy’s hand. “Like what that says and what you’re about to do with it.”

Sheesh. “Just walk away, Rachel,” she said quietly.

Rachel drew back, clearly stunned, since Amy never bossed anyone around—unless it had to do with matchmaking—and she certainly never did so while sounding as stressed as she surely did right now.

“I’m sorry, Rach,” she said then, working hard to sound nicer, more normal. “And I promise I’ll explain the next time I see you, okay? Right now I’m just . . . on a mission. And it’s important. And I don’t have time to tell you the whole long, pathetic story. Fair enough?”

Rachel still wore an odd expression, like she was wondering what slightly crazy person had invaded Amy’s body. Amy was actually beginning to wonder that herself, too. But finally Rachel said, “Sure. Fair enough. Good luck on your mission.” Then, when Amy least expected it, a small smile turned up the corners of Rachel’s mouth. “I must admit, Amy, you have me intrigued. And that might be a first. I like it.”

Amy watched as Rachel turned and sashayed back across the orchard to where the party was still going on without her, and when finally—at last—she was convinced she was alone, she sidled up alongside Logan’s car and slipped the rose-laden note card beneath the windshield wiper, just like before.

Okay, there. It was done. Step 2. Note 2. It upped the stakes. At least if Logan ever found out it was from her. And . . . well, if nothing else, she supposed it—again—let him know there was someone else out there who wanted him besides Anna Romo.

And as she headed back toward the wedding shower, she realized she was sweating like crazy and her heart was beating as fast as if she’d just run a race.

God, this being-in-love business was grueling.

A
fter lunch but before gifts and cake, Logan found himself sitting beneath a shade tree with Anna in a couple of white Adirondack chairs. If it was possible, he thought maybe she looked even more striking today than the other times he’d seen her. For a woman going through so much, he admired how comfortable she appeared in her own skin. Especially when she began to tell him more about the troubles plaguing her.

“It’s so amazing to find out I have this big, wonderful, loving family, but . . . it’s a lot to take in. It’s what I came here for, sure, but Mike . . .” Then she stopped, shook her head.

And Logan couldn’t help feeling a little troubled—on Mike’s behalf. “What about him?” he asked cautiously.

“Well, he hovers,” she said. “In fact, he’s watching me right now, from over by the barn. See?”

Logan looked, and sure enough, even as Mike chatted with shower guests, his glance kept shifting in their direction.

“Here we are, at
his
wedding shower, and all he can think about is me?”

Logan couldn’t help taking up for his buddy. “It’s not really too surprising if you think about it. I mean, he’s literally been looking for you since he was twelve. He’s gonna hover for a while, Anna. Just be patient.” The fact was—it would be hard for Anna to know what Mike had gone through, the guilt and self-torture he’d suffered. But Logan didn’t figure Anna needed more of those reminders heaped on her right now.

“I get that. But I’m kind of . . . an independent woman, you know? I’m used to doing my own thing, my own way. I’ve had to. Because I grew up kind of fast—because of my mom’s problems.”

“You guys will work it out,” he promised her. And he meant it. He wanted her to feel reassured.

Yet she only shrugged. “I hope so. But I’m actually . . . well, not the most patient person in the world.”

And when he caught the look she was giving him then—something flirtatious and expectant in her dark eyes—he wondered if she was talking about Mike now, or him. Was she waiting to be asked out? Kissed?

And hell—maybe he
should
be asking her out. And in fact, he wasn’t sure why he hadn’t yet.

Maybe because of Mike, because dating his best friend’s just-returned-home-after-all-these-years little sister might get a little weird? Or maybe he wasn’t sure he was great dating material at the moment—after what he’d just come through, and given that he’d just left an admirable career for a job some people might consider less than a lateral move. And it wasn’t like he was really over the Knight fire anyway—the truth was, it still bothered him, every day; he’d just gotten better at hiding it. Or . . . maybe there was some
other
reason he wasn’t asking her out, one he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

Just then, he found his gaze drifting over to Amy, where she stood talking to Jenny and Mick Brody next to the punch bowl. She looked pretty today in a spring green dress that brought out the green in her eyes. Yet she’d seemed . . . a little off, too. Though it was a big party—he supposed she did have a lot to handle here.

And even now . . . well, not just anybody would be able to spot this, but he could have sworn he saw something sad behind her smile. It didn’t quite reach her eyes, and that wasn’t like Amy at all. He’d have to check in with her later, make sure everything was all right. He hated the idea of anything making his freckles sad—and he knew he’d been too caught up in his own drama lately and that it was time to get back to paying attention to the people who mattered.

Seeming to follow his gaze just then, Anna said, “Like it?”

He blinked, looked at her. “Like what?”

“My Mustang, silly.”

Oh. Her car was parked in the distance, directly behind where Amy stood. “Uh, yeah, it’s great.” And it really was. Right now, the red exterior gleamed in the sun. The top was down and the mint-condition classic convertible looked made for fun.

“Want me to take you for a ride sometime?” she asked.

Seven

“I was very foolishly tempted to say and do many things . . .”

Jane Austen, from
Emma

L
ogan’s groin tightened, just a little. Because he was pretty sure he heard something sexual in the invitation. Not just the way the words could be interpreted, but it was in her voice, too, and definitely—again—in her seductive brown eyes.

“Um, sounds good,” he said. After all, if beautiful Anna Romo wanted to take him for a ride, who was he to say no? Whatever was holding him back . . . well, if she was asking him out, it must be God’s way of telling him to get over it and get on with things. Right?

“Free tomorrow night?” she asked with a hopeful, confident smile.

Yeah, he was. But . . . aw hell, despite himself, something continued to hold him back a little. “Not sure,” he heard himself say.

And she flashed a look that told him she’d been around the block a time or two and sensed he might not be telling the whole truth. But she was still smiling, and he realized Anna wasn’t overly sensitive or too emotional—she clearly knew how to do the casual-dating thing with some finesse. “Well, you let me know if you want to get together,” she said.

And he thought,
Of course I do.

Or do I?

Damn. Why did he feel so torn inside, for God’s sake?

Then she said, “Oh brother, here comes Mike.”

And Logan instinctively said, “Go easy on him, okay?”

“Anna, I want you to meet some people,” Mike called as he grew nearer, motioning her over.

And as she got up to go, she peered down into Logan’s eyes to say, “Don’t go anywhere, all right? So far, you’re definitely one of the best things I’ve found in Destiny.” And she concluded with another one of those come-hither looks that seemed to spill from her so naturally with him. And which made it a little hard for him to draw a deep breath.

But . . . what the hell was the deal? Why wasn’t he thrilled out of his mind? After all, she was great. Pretty. Funny. Outgoing and confident. And ridiculously sexy without even trying.

He usually
liked
women who let you know what they wanted.

But this was different. This was Mike’s long lost little sister.

And . . . why did he get the idea Amy wasn’t crazy about fixing them up? Because if Amy thought there was something not right about it . . . well, that mattered to him. She had good instincts, and he knew she cared about him—a lot. She’d been so damn good to him lately, and it dawned on him all over again that he wasn’t sure he’d let her know how much he appreciated that.

“Okay, everybody, I need the happy couples up here with me,” Amy called out then over the general din of the crowd. “We’ll cut the cake and let them start digging in to all these presents.”

That was when two things struck him at once: He realized he’d forgotten his shower gifts in the car, and he flashed back to the strange moment when he’d kissed Amy on his couch.

And as he made his way from the party out into the orchard . . . hell, his groin began tightening again. Huh. Over Amy? Groin tightening? Really? Not that there was anything wrong with her—she was cute and funny and probably the sweetest person he’d ever known. But he’d just never thought of her that way. Ever.

Oh well, don’t overthink it. You’ve got a lot of crap in your head right now
—the old job, the new job, Anna coming home, Anna asking him out, and apparently those kisses with Amy were still lingering there, too. And of course, just because he was walking around acting normal and had gotten his shit together, that
still
didn’t mean he was over what had happened to the Knights.

In fact, his heart clenched just now, just from letting his thoughts go there. And he felt a little dizzy, unsteady
. Keep walking, just keep walking. Don’t think about it anymore. Don’t see it anymore. Block it back out.
That was pretty much the only way he
managed
the walking-around-acting-normal thing, by just blotting out the recollections he’d begun to fear would haunt him the rest of his life.

Given his current state, the cool air beneath the trees—lightly scented with the last spring apple blossoms—was more than a little refreshing on a day that had grown hot.
Think about Anna,
he commanded himself. Because she put a lot more pleasant visions in his head than that damn fire did.
Think about Anna, who showed up exactly when you needed someone, so it must be meant to be.

He’d just reached his car and was headed past it toward the trunk when—damn—he caught sight of a note on his windshield. Another one. Wow.

Though the first one had freaked him out a little, he’d almost forgotten about it now. After all, he’d heard or seen nothing unusual since then, and maybe he’d decided it was just kids playing a prank or something. But if there was another one . . . well, that changed things.

And things
really
changed after he read it. Because the woman who’d written it wanted to touch him now. And be touched
by
him. All over. Whoa.

Who the hell could be sending these things?

Okay, stop. Think.
He tried to mentally sort through all the single females at the shower today, but most of Destiny was there, making it pretty impossible to narrow it down. And hell—for all he knew, it could be . . . some smitten ten-year-old girl. Though this was starting to sound like a pretty advanced ten-year-old if that was the case. It could really be anyone, he supposed. Someone shy maybe, as the note indicated. Or . . . someone with something to hide, some reason she couldn’t be up-front with him.

His ponderings got him nowhere, but they left him curious to say the least. Who the hell could his secret admirer be?

Oh well, no matter how he sliced it, it was one more distraction from unpleasant thoughts of the fire, so if someone wanted to send him secret love notes, he supposed that was fine with him.

A
fter the cake was eaten and all the presents opened, a few people left the party, but most stuck around, nibbling at more food and catching up with friends. Mike had just finished talking with his mom—telling her he’d invited Anna to stay with him and Rachel for as long as she wanted—when he saw Logan standing by himself near an old hay wagon.

“What’s up, bud?” he asked, approaching.

“Just enjoying the day.”

Mike simply nodded, though he could see some trouble still lurking in his best friend’s gaze. “Sure you’re doing okay?”

Logan shrugged. “Hell of a lot better than I was a few weeks ago. That’s about as much as I can ask for right now. Just taking it one day at a time.”

“Well, you know if you need anything, I’m here.”

Now his old friend tilted his head accusingly. “Sure, you say that now, but you bailed on Cocoa and me in the end.”

Mike knew he was only kidding, though. “For your own good and you know it,” he replied with a smile.

“Yeah, I can’t believe I let myself get down so low.”

“Well, just glad you’re back,” Mike said. Then a short laugh escaped him. “And glad Anna’s back. You know, man, sometimes I still can’t believe it.” Then he shook his head. He’d spent so many years hoping, praying, not giving up deep down inside, no matter how crazy it seemed. And now, here his baby sister was, back in his arms! And sure, he was still pissed as hell about the whole thing, but he was working through that, and he just kept reminding himself that the important thing was knowing she’d been with someone who loved her and that she was happy, healthy, and here with him now.

“Speaking of Anna,” Logan said, appearing a little uncertain, “I, uh, figure I should tell you she kinda asked me out earlier. For tomorrow night.”

Mike tried not to react, yet his chest tightened and the muscles in his shoulders tensed. He knew Anna was an adult and all, but . . . damn, he couldn’t help it—after everything his family had been through, the urge to be protective flowed through his veins like hot lava.

“I won’t go if you don’t want me to,” Logan said, clearly sensing the reaction anyway.

And Mike felt kind of like an idiot, even as he let out a sigh. “Hell, I don’t know the answer,” he admitted at a loss. “You’re my best friend. And a damn good guy most of the time. Maybe you’d be the best person in the world for her to date.” Only then his chest clenched all over again. “But on the other hand, you’re my best friend and I know everything you’ve ever done and every girl you’ve ever done it with. And if you ever hurt her . . .”

“Geez, would you relax, dude? You’re getting way ahead of yourself here.”

Mike blew out a long breath. “You’re right. I get that. But . . . the idea of you even touching her . . .”

Logan looked him in the eye in the way very few people seemed able to—since most backed off or left him alone when he acted this gruff. “Mike, don’t slug me or anything, but you know she’s thirty years old, right? Thirty? Not twelve. Or sixteen. Or even twenty. But thirty.”

Another long, deep breath left him. “Yeah, I know. But it’s hard for me. In a way, to me, she’s still five.” He knew that sounded a little crazy, but he could say that to Logan. Logan would understand. Logan had been there when Anna
was
five. And ever since.

Still, his best friend simply said, “You can’t go back.”

Yeah, he realized that. And he hated it. “I don’t like the fact that she grew up without me to . . . to . . .”

Logan narrowed his gaze. “Make her into exactly what you think your little sister should be.”

He just shrugged. “Something like that, maybe. Not that there’s anything wrong with her—she’s amazing. Except . . . I think I intimidate her.”

“I think you do, too,” Logan said. No hesitation. Shit, that sealed the deal—he officially made his little sister uncomfortable. Great.

“It’s just that I care so much. That’s all.”

“I don’t think you want me to go out with her,” Logan concluded.

And Mike knew that, deep down, that was probably true. Right now,
no one
would be good enough for Anna. And even as perfect as his parents thought the two of them were together—and it was true that when they were all kids, everyone had joked that Logan and Anna would get married someday—it just seemed weird for her to date his best friend. Too much could go wrong. He felt too much loyalty—and love—for both of them.

And still, he knew he couldn’t stand in the way of something like that. Anna would end up hating him. And Logan probably wouldn’t—but he might have every right to. So finally he said, “Tell ya what, how about you come over to dinner tomorrow instead. We’ll invite Lucky and Tessa, too, and we’ll all hang out. Play horseshoes afterward in the yard. How would that be?”

And, true to him as the day was long, Logan agreeably said, “Whatever you want, man.”

“Baby steps,” Mike told him. “I’ll do this in baby steps and before long, I’ll do better with it. And hey, dude, thanks. For asking. And for being cool about it.”

“This is Anna we’re talking about,” Logan said. And that was all he had to say. They both understood how deep that loss—and this brand new rediscovery—ran.

O
nly a few people milled about now, the last few saying their goodbyes to Edna as Logan, Adam, and Duke helped load gifts into Mike’s pickup and Lucky’s Jeep. Amy looked around at the mess—but she didn’t mind that it would take a while to clean up. Any distraction was a good one these days. And she was happy that Anna had left a little while ago, by herself, with plans to meet her parents for dinner at Dolly’s before they headed back to Florida in the morning.

As for Logan, she was pretty sure he’d already found her note. He’d had to go to his car for gifts after she’d stuck it there. And—oh God—she still couldn’t believe she’d turned into some mad secret note writer. That was so not like her. Then again, she still couldn’t believe she loved Logan, either. And how horribly painful it continued to be even as it lifted her very soul every time he came to mind.

Just then, J. Geils’ “Love Stinks” filled the air and she spun to see that Logan had just pulled his car up near the house. The windows were down and Destiny’s only tunable radio station—which played retro music—blared out. Love stinks? Yeah, she had to pretty much agree that it did.

She was shoving used paper plates into an already-packed garbage bag when Logan turned off the car, killing the music, then got out and came over to her.

“What’s up?” she asked, trying her best to sound cheerful, normal. Ugh. That was getting harder all the time.

Logan gave his head a pointed tilt, his expression sweet. “You okay, freckles? ’Cause I thought you looked a little sad at times today.”

Oh boy. Even when she was able to hide it with other people, Logan could see. Double ugh. “I’m fine,” she lied. “Just tired, I guess. The party and all.”

“Want me to stick around, help clean up?”

Her first thought was to say no—she didn’t like to impose on people, and she didn’t mind hard work. But just as quickly, it dawned on her that Tessa would tell her to say yes, that she should be trying to spend more time with him. And she still didn’t really believe she could ever win Logan’s heart, but even so, spending time with him was . . . a different experience now. Each smile he gave her was sweeter. Each word he said resonated with her more deeply.