Willow Spring (32 page)

Mr. Knightley had a girlfriend! Could anything in the world be sweeter? She didn’t think so.

And then she actually laughed out loud, realizing that she was an even better matchmaker than she’d ever realized before.
I can even make two persnickety kitties learn to love each other.

Yet then the first hint of sadness she’d felt all afternoon snuck in. Even cats can work out their differences, but she and Logan couldn’t?

Only then she was forced to remind herself—
it’s not just differences. It’s that he just doesn’t love you that way. You’ve faced it. You’re trying to accept it. And now it’s time to try to move on.

And since distractions had been such a big help to her this week, it seemed particularly fortuitous that Tessa’s wedding was only the day after tomorrow.

Twenty-two

“Oh! the best nature in the world—a wedding.”

Jane Austen, from
Emma

T
he sun had just dipped behind the trees next to Whisper Falls as Amy made her way up the white runner that currently stretched down the center of Tessa’s deck, soft music from a guitar accompanying her movements. She carried daisies tied with a lace ribbon and felt pretty in the pale yellow sundress Tessa had selected for her bridesmaids. And this time—as compared to Rachel’s wedding just a few weeks ago—she really
enjoyed
feeling pretty, embraced it. Maybe she’d always thought that to think one’s self pretty was arrogant, but now she understood that sometimes it was just . . . confidence. And if nothing else, her recent experiences had given her more of that than she’d ever had before.

Ahead of her, she caught sight of Jenny and Rachel standing alongside Tessa, and on Lucky’s side of the small aisle were Mick, Mike, and Duke. It had made perfect sense that Mick and Jenny got to walk together, and the same was true, of course, for Rachel and Mike. So in comparison, Amy and Duke were a bit of a mismatch, but just like at previous events this summer, she’d found Duke surprisingly friendly and a little flirtatious. And at the moment, she couldn’t deny that he looked pretty handsome, too—the man cleaned up well.

Reaching Tessa, who looked beautiful and perfect in an off-the-shoulder summery dress of white eyelet, she gave her friend a heartfelt smile as she took her place beside her. Being Tessa’s maid of honor truly
was
an honor for her.

Though even as Amy watched the touching exchange of vows between Tessa and Lucky, she couldn’t help being aware of other things around her—or people around her. To her delight, Caroline Meeks and Dan Lindley had arrived together and taken seats in the back row. Anna sat with her parents in the front on Lucky’s side. And Logan sat three rows back, with his mother, looking as handsome as ever in a pair of brown pants and a white shirt, open at the collar.

And, of course, she still loved him. And seeing him made her heart beat harder, her palms sweat. Everything inside her felt a little electrified just by virtue of his nearness. And a familiar yearning coursed through her.

But just like every time that happened, she had to remind herself that he didn’t feel the same way. She knew he loved her as a friend, and he was even attracted to her as a woman, but if he didn’t feel that same electricity vibrating through his veins when she was near, then . . . well, it just wasn’t enough.

That was when she caught Duke flashing her a quick wink across the way. The warmth of a blush automatically climbed her cheeks as she bit her lower lip, glanced down. But then . . . then she decided to be brave and raise her eyes back to his. Their gazes met, held. She smiled, just a little.

There was no real electricity there, but life was short, and even though Duke felt dangerous in some ways, in others, he felt bizarrely . . . safe.
Because you know in your heart you could never feel for him what you feel for Logan. So there’s no risk involved. No pain waiting on the other side.

If life were perfect, she would be here with Logan; she would be his date tonight. Later they would dance, and kiss, and make love, and she wouldn’t have to worry about what would or wouldn’t happen between them tomorrow. There would be no Anna. There would be only her. But life wasn’t perfect. So even if being at the same wedding with Logan without
being
with
Logan was killing her inside . . . well, didn’t she keep telling herself to move on? Maybe tonight Duke brought that opportunity.

L
ogan couldn’t deny it. He felt better than he had in months. Well, not about everything—but some things. One thing in particular.

Now that the ceremony was over, people milled about and he was busy mingling and socializing. But he kept his eye on Amy. Because he hadn’t gotten to say hi to her yet. And because she looked amazing in yellow. And because her eyes looked bigger and greener to him than usual for some reason and he thought they pretty much lit up the whole event. He wasn’t sure why, but everywhere he went, at every moment, he stayed aware of where she was, what she was doing.

When a trill of pretty laughter sliced through the air, he recognized it as hers, even with his back turned as he spoke with Adam and Sue Ann. When he looked over his shoulder, he saw her with Mike and Rachel, drinking champagne, then reaching to straighten the cake topper on the wedding cake, which sported a bride and groom on a motorcycle. Why did it suddenly make him feel so . . . weirdly left out just to be over here when she was over there?

“Hey, Logan.”

He spun his head back around to find Anna, looking like a knockout as usual in another red dress.

“Hi,” he said, and they made small talk about the wedding, her parents’ visit, and her plans to open an inn. He’d already heard about that since news traveled fast in Destiny, but he acted surprised anyway, and he told her he hoped it would be exactly what she needed to be happy here.

Then he heard himself saying, “I have some news, too.” He hadn’t particularly planned to tell her, but
she’d
just shared news with
him
, and given that they
had
built a friendship these past weeks and spent plenty of time together, it made sense. And the truth was, he was excited. And wanted to share it with someone. “I got my old job back. I’m working at the Destiny Fire Department again.”

Her smile widened as she said, “Really? That’s great. Why the change?”

Why the change?
The words sank down inside him like a stone. And then it hit him—she didn’t know. For all the time they’d spent together since her return home, she didn’t know all the crazy, weird, horrible stuff he’d been going through. She didn’t know how nutty it seemed to the whole town that he’d left his job to become a bartender. She didn’t know about the Knights or the fire that killed them. She didn’t know about his dad or that firefighting ran in the family and was in his blood. She didn’t know that Amy had been right all along and he just hadn’t been ready to accept that. She didn’t know him at all.

And it wasn’t her fault. He just . . . hadn’t chosen to share. Because he hadn’t wanted to burden her. But he also hadn’t wanted to burden himself. He’d only wanted to run. From things that mattered. Important things. Things that needed to be dealt with. Worked through. And then embraced.

And that was when he realized he was telling the wrong person about his return to work.

And God knew he didn’t want to be rude to Anna—but he reached out, gave her hand a small squeeze, and said, “I’m sorry, Anna, but I just realized something urgent I need to do. Do you mind if we finish this conversation later?”

She was gracious, smiling kindly as she said, “Sure, no problem.”

Turning back toward where Amy still stood talking with their other friends, he made a beeline toward her, approaching so fast that she, Rachel, and Mike all looked up with a start as he practically skidded to a stop beside them.

“You okay?” Mike asked, a look of dry amusement on his face.

“Never better,” he said. And that might have been a slight exaggeration, but all things considered lately, he still felt it was a fair answer.

“Well, I’m damn glad to hear it,” Mike said with a grin.

Then Logan switched his glance briefly to Amy—God, she was just beautiful today—before looking back to Mike and Rachel once more to say, “Would you guys mind if I talk to Amy alone for a minute?”

And even as Rachel said, “Of course not,” Logan was already placing his hand at the back of Amy’s elbow, ushering her a few steps away.

“Hey, what’s up?” she asked sweetly once they were off by themselves. “Everything okay?”

For the first time it occurred to him that maybe he should be a little embarrassed, given how hard he’d fought her on this and how angry he’d gotten in certain moments—but with someone as close to him as Amy, he knew he didn’t have to worry about that. “More than okay, freckles,” he told her. “I wanted to let you know I worked my last shift at the Dew Drop last night—and I’m pretty sure Anita wanted to weep with joy when I told her. And yesterday afternoon I saw the doctor in Crestview, the one I needed to get clearance from to go back on the job again. I’ll be resuming my old duties at the DFD first thing Monday morning.”

A light, lovely gasp left her as her eyes widened in gorgeous delight. “Oh Logan,” she said. “You have no idea how happy that makes me.”

He tilted his head. “Actually, I think I do. That’s why it seemed important to tell you before I go spreading the word all over town.”

Her vibrant smile was the last thing he saw before she threw her arms around his neck for a hug. And damn, it felt good—right—to have her lithe little body pressed against his, good to close his arms around her waist, good to just soak up all the warmth and tingly sensations it delivered.

But then, that quickly, she was pulling back, ending the hug. Still smiling, still clearly elated for him—but the hug was over. And he missed it already.

Just then, Jenny came up, touching Amy’s arm. “Time for pictures in the yard,” she said.

“I’ll be right there,” Amy told her, then looked back to Logan. “I couldn’t be more thrilled, Logan. It’s like . . . the world is right again. You know?”

“Yeah—I know,” he told her softly. Because he knew exactly what she meant. He’d been trying damn hard to feel right about not being a fireman, but now that he’d relented and gone back to where he belonged, he realized how off-kilter everything had been all this time.

From there, Logan drifted back into mingling—he talked to his mom and Amy’s mom for a while, and he got them pieces of cake when it was cut. He spoke to John and Nancy Romo for a few minutes, and then he tracked down Mike and shared the news he’d just told Amy.

“About damn time,” Mike said, slapping him on the back, and Logan just laughed because that simple sentiment was so true.

He listened to all the toasts, and picked up on the fact that the only damper on the day for Tessa was that her brother, still serving in Afghanistan, wasn’t here to share her special day. But the mood was lightened again when the party was moved to the portable dance floor set up in the yard and Tessa shared the first dance with Lucky in a pretty unusual way—moving to “You Never Can Tell” by Chuck Berry, they recreated the dance John Travolta and Uma Thurman did in
Pulp Fiction
. Logan laughed along with the crowd, amazed Tessa had managed to talk Lucky Romo into such a thing.

As the dancing continued, though, as one song blended into another and Logan watched various friends and Destiny-ites take the dance floor, something inside him slowly went a little bit melancholy. He couldn’t put his finger on why. He danced with his mother once, and also with Amy’s, to make sure they were having a good time. And he knew he could be asking any number of girls to dance to keep himself entertained if he so desired. But instead he found himself slouched at a table, watching everyone else have fun, stuffing his face with more wedding cake than he really wanted to eat.

It made no sense to him that one moment he was on top of the world, telling Amy about his return to work, feeling more clearheaded about that particular topic than he had since before the fire at the Knights’ house—and the next he was feeling oddly . . . disconnected from this party and a little bit down.

And he no longer thought it was about the fire, or the Knights. He’d finally begun to make peace with what had happened. This was about something else.

But he only understood what it was about—with a startling and almost dumbfounding clarity—when he saw Duke Dawson walk up to Amy and ask her to dance. And when he watched her smile and take the biker’s hand.

When that had happened at Mike’s wedding, he’d instantly worried for her because . . . well, Duke was just so wrong for her, and potentially dangerous. But this, what he suddenly felt now, went way beyond anything like worry. It was a red-hot coal burning in his gut. It was the muscles in his chest stretching so tight he thought they might snap. It was . . . searing, blinding, heartbreaking jealousy.

And it came . . . with fear. But not a fear of being in a relationship—nope, this fear was brand new. It was fear that it was too late. That he’d messed up too much. That she really was already over him, over what they’d shared. It was fear that he’d been so mired in his own troubles when she’d expressed her new feelings for him that he just hadn’t fully been able to feel it, respond, until now.

But now that he’d come to grips with the Knights’ death, now that he’d gotten his job back and knew once more what he was supposed to do with his life . . . damn, now he knew one more thing, too. One more big, huge, life-changing, life-fixing thing. It was the next, last thing he was supposed to do that would make everything the way it was meant to be. And it was . . . loving Amy.

And not just a little. But . . . for keeps. To grow old with.

It suddenly made so much sense.

Amy’s description of being in love on the pontoon boat came back to him.
It fills you up. But it also owns you. Makes you feel a little helpless against it.