Willing Captive (23 page)

Damn!

That feels a little
funny.

Nox watches me. I
watch him. His finger slides deeper inside of me and his face
becomes pained. “You’re so tight.”

And I cringe. “I’m
sorry.”

His face turns to
stunned disbelief. “Baby, that’s not a bad thing. My cocks harder
than a rock. I just have no idea how I’m gonna last more than ten
seconds in your sweet pussy.”

Oh, wow!

I haven’t heard Nox
use dirty words before and unintentionally, my core moistens
again.

Nox groans when he
feels it and starts a motion with his finger, sliding in and out of
me. He mutters, “Fuckin’ hell. She likes the dirty talk.”

My cheeks flame, but
I have no time to react when his finger slides out of me and he
pushes two inside of me. A twinge of pain hits me and my eyes close
in hurt.

Geez, I hope that
was it.

But Nox keeps a slow
motion and eventually I enjoy the feel of two of his thick fingers
inside of me. He makes a scissor like motion with his fingers
inside me and the pain returns. I whisper, “Ow.”

His eyes sad, he
asks softly, “You sure you wanna do this? The first time…it hurts,
baby.”

Putting on my poker face, I nod and smile. He searches my face
a little while before moving up my body so the tip of his
shaft
kisses my wetness.

He says gently,
“Bend your knees.”

So I do. It opens me
a little more and the tip of him slides into me.

I gasp and wince. It
hurts a little, but not too bad. I suppose the wetness helps. He
watches me closely, “’Kay, babe?”

Nodding for him to
continue, I grip his upper arms for support. He slides in a little
more and the pain doubles.

Oh shit. This really
sucks!

Never being one to
mask my emotions, Nox leans forward and kisses my nose. “I’m sorry,
baby. I’ll go slow.”

I breathe deeply,
desperately trying to steady myself when his thick length slides a
little deeper. A burning pain slithers through me and it hurts so
much I whimper. He starts to pull out, but I cry out, “Just do it.
Please, honey. Just do it.”

His eyes flash with
concern but I hold his stare. He swallows hard before whispering,
“Shit. I’m sorry, baby.”

He slides all the
way in.

Something rips
inside of me.

And the pain is so
intense that my mouth opens in a silent scream.

I’m being torn
apart.

Wrapping his arms
around me, he rocks me gently. Kissing my forehead, he mutters,
“Sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. Fuck. I’m sorry.”

Wincing, my eyes
close. Tears fall out the sides of my eyes. I could only describe
the pain as agony. I cry silently, but hold Nox tight and whisper
through shuddering breaths, “I’m so happy. So happy. I’m glad it
was you.”

Wiping my tears
away, he places sweet, soft kisses at the corners of my eyes.
“Don’t cry, baby. You remember what you said this morning? About it
being totally stupid to fall in love with me?”

At that, my eyes
open. He adds quietly, “Then you should start calling me a fuckin’
moron.”

Overcome with
emotion, I burst into tears and whisper, “Me too.” Then I close my
eyes and wail, “I’m the village idiot!”

Nox bursts into
laughter while I continue to wail. Wiping away my tears, he smiles
down at me, “We’re quite a pair, huh?”

Sniffling, I answer
truthfully, “I don’t think it could get better than this for me.
So, yeah, we’re quite a pair. The best kind of pair.”

Then suddenly, I
realize that I’m no longer hurting.

Testing out how much
I’m hurting, I wrap my legs around Nox and pull up, pushing him
further into me. My eyes flutter and I hear Nox growl.

Oh, damn. That feels
kind of amazing.

Nox places his hands
by my head, supporting himself over my body while I rock against
him. My eyes never leave his. This is feeling good but something is
missing. Leaning up, he comes down to me, kissing me hungrily. My
lips part and I feel his tongue lick along the inside of my top
lip. And it’s so hot that my hips buck.

Against his mouth, I
mutter, “Baby, move. Please.”

So he does. And
although I’m sore, it feels good. The friction is deliciously
addictive. He thrusts slowly and I sigh.

This
is what
sex should feel like.

As if reading my
mind, Nox shares, “Amazing. And it only gets better, princess.”

My heart rate
spikes. My body suddenly desperate for more, I beg, “Faster.
Harder.”

Kissing my lips
fiercely, his thrusts become wild and my body feels warm and light.
The vein in his temple pulses, and pulling away from my lips, he
murmurs, “This is gonna be quick, Lily.”

Then just as I reach
up and connect our lips again, he pulls out of me. Panting, he
groans into my mouth and I feel his warm come spurt onto my mound
and belly.

And it’s then that I realize we didn’t use a condom
.

So careless. So
stupid. So freakin’ idiotic.

I guess I’m just
lucky that he remembered to pull out or I’d have a possible
pregnancy on my hands. And although that’s an option one day, it’s
not something I want now. Not wanting to break the mood, I reach up
and run my fingers down his cheek. I smile up at him and bite my
lip. “That was amazing.”

His eyes
warm
as he smiles down at me. “You’re a liar. It was horrible, not
amazing.” I laugh at myself. Leaning down, he pecks my lips as he
adds a promise. “But it will be.”

Running my nose
along his, I utter sleepily, “I’ll hold you to that.”

Chapter
Eighteen
The eye
of the storm

Lily

Waking with a smile,
I bury my face deeper into the crook of Nox’s neck.

“
Mornin’, babe,” he mumbles, “Feelin’ okay?”

Not really sure how I feel yet, I clench between my legs and
hiss, “
Ow
. Not ready
for another round just yet, I’m afraid.”

Wrapping his arms
tighter around me, he suggests, “You should have a nice warm bath.
You do that and I’ll bring you some breakfast.”

Raising my head, I
look at him through sleepy eyes. “You do that and I’ll never go
home.” And as soon as I say it, I want to eat the words while
they’re still in the air. But it’s too late.

Both our faces fall.
An awkward silence follows.

I move to roll out
of bed, but his hand closes around my wrist. Pulling me back to
him, he tucks me into his side and sighs, “We knew it was gonna get
brought up eventually, princess. We can’t pretend forever.”

The bridge of my
nose tingles and I whisper, “But I like pretending with you.”

He kisses the top of
my head and murmurs into my hair, “Me too, baby. Me too.”

***

This morning flew
by.

First, Nox started a
bath for me. I climbed into said bath and spent around half an hour
relaxing my sore muscles. Some of those muscles I didn’t even know
I had. Secondly, we ate breakfast together. Today was not an
oatmeal kind of day, so I made pancakes and much to Nox’s obvious
disgust, I drenched them in butter and syrup before wolfing them
down. Mostly without chewing. Thirdly, after my sugar rush, we
worked out. Today was a rare occasion where all four of us did our
sessions together.

And Boo. Oh,
Boo
.

The entire time, she
kept her eyes on me. Squished face and smiling like a freakin’
dork. It got to me so badly that I threw a padded baton at her.

Talk about
awkward.

And lastly, after
our session was done, Boo pulled me into her room for the
four-one-one on last night. And it went a little something like
this:

Bouncing on the
spot, she squeaked, “Sooo. How did it go?”

It’s a total bummer
on her behalf, after all the time she took explaining things to me,
but I have to be honest. “It was awful.”

Her bouncing slowed.
Then stopped. Her face bunched in confusion. “What?”

Nodding, I explained, “Yep. Totally sucked. It was bad.
Like
bad
bad. And painful. And
seriously awkward.”

Boo’s mouth
gaped.

But then I added,
“But it was perfect.”

Looking even more
confused, she mouthed, “What?”

Smiling, I uttered, “Nox. It didn’t matter how it went. It
mattered that it was him. And he was so good to me. So gentle and
super sweet. Saying the right things when I needed them to be said.
He was so perfect that it didn’t matter how it went. I was with
him. So it
was
perfect.”
Looking up at Boo, I smiled a genuinely happy smile, trying to
convey just how perfect it was.

Her lips quivered and her eyes misted. She whispered, “That’s
awesome, Dee.” Clearing her throat, she added, “It gets better
though.
Way
better. And you get
better at it, too.”

Leaning back, I
pursed my lips. “Shit, Boo. It couldn’t get worse.”

A bark of laughter
burst out of her and I smiled.

…
It better get better.

***

Smiling to myself, I
all but skip down the hall to Nox’s office. Not bothering to knock,
I open the door and step in. Nox stands with his back to me,
looking out the window, talking on the cell phone. I hear one side
of the conversation.

“
No, sir. It’s not that complicated.” Pause. “I understand. I
assure you when the time comes, I can let her go.”

My heart skips a
beat.

Obviously not having
heard me enter, he continues, “She’s just a girl. She’ll get over
it. We knew it wouldn’t last anyway. We were stupid to start
it.”

My heart shrinks.
Then shrivels. Then dies.

My throat thickens.
I try to swallow the lump but can’t. My eyes blur with unshed
tears.

“
Yes, sir. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. It was a moment of
weakness and it won’t happen again.”

Oh God. No.

***

Nox

Mitch’s voice sounds
into the cell, “Listen, Nox. I know it can be lonely in this life,
but you’re better off finding one of your own. I’m not sure if I
want you working this anymore. You’re in too deep. I think it might
be clouding your judgment. Hell, you took her off site! That isn’t
like you.”

I should’ve known he
would find out about me and Lily at the beach.

The door to my
office opens. I know it’s her. But I need to steer Mitch the other
way.

My eyes shut tight
and my chest aches as I say, “No, sir. It’s not that
complicated.”

Mitch utters, “I
hope not. This could cause trouble. I think it already has.”

I force out, “I
understand. I assure you when the time comes, I can let her
go.”

I almost hear Lily’s
heart break when I say, “She’s just a girl. She’ll get over it. We
knew it wouldn’t last anyway. We were stupid to start it.”

Mitch pauses a
moment, then, “I’m sure you did the best you could, son. I know I
can count on you, Nox. You’re one of my best men.”

I choke the urge to
roar in anger and mutter, “Yes, sir. I can’t tell you how sorry I
am. It was a moment of weakness and it won’t happen again.”

The rage builds
inside of me. I feel it trail up my chest as it claws its way into
my head.

Mitch finishes with,
“I suspect it won’t. Keep me updated.” Then he’s gone.

Head pounding, I
clutch the phone tight. Breathing deep, I dip my chin and say,
“Come here, baby.”

Her voice hitches,
“No.” She chokes out, “You made me believe…I’m so stupid…I
believed…”

Turning, I throw down the cell and walk over to her. She holds
her hands out, palms up and utters through gritted teeth, “Don’t
you touch me. Don’t you
fucking
touch me.”

I plead, “Baby,
listen to me.”

Walking back with
her palms up, tears fall down her cheeks. She hisses, “I believed
you! Don’t come near me, Nox. You’ve made it clear where we
stand.”

Turning on her heel,
she tries to escape.

Not a chance of that
happening.

Running up behind
her, I wrap my arms around her arms, holding her tight. She kicks
out. “Let go of me! You’re a liar!” A sob bursts out of her,
“You’re a goddamn liar and I hate you!”

Her body shakes with
silent sobs and I rock her side to side, allowing her a moment to
get it out. She weakens in my hold and stops fighting. I take this
chance to explain, “Knew you were there the whole time, baby. And I
never lied to you. I lied to Mitch.”

Lily mutters, “I
don’t believe you. You were always going to leave me. You were
never going to come back for me.”

There’s so much I
want to tell her right now, but I can’t. Swallowing hard, I tell
her, “Lily, I swear, I never lied to you. There are things I want
to tell you, but I can’t right now. Just please believe me when I
say I never lied to you.”

Still hurt by what
she heard, she tries to pull free. “No. I don’t have to believe
shit!”

Holding her tighter,
I lean my head forward, closer to her ear and whisper, “What’s my
name, princess?”

She stills in my
arms. “Adam.”

I urge, “My full
name.”

She whispers, “Adam
Christian Taylor.”

“
And where was I born?”

Her breath hitches.
“White Deer, Texas.”

Planting a kiss to
her neck, I ask, “When’s my birthday?”

She chokes on a sob.
“March eighteenth.”

Burying my face into
her neck, I say, “Know how many people know that information?”

Her answer if a
sniffle.

I state, “You. Just
you, Lily. You’re the only one I trust with that. Because you’re
everything to me.”