Will to Love (11 page)

"Is there anything else I can get you both?" Hugo asked but looking only at Clarise.

"I'm fine, thanks.
 
I'm stuffed.
 
That was great food, Hugo.
 
Will?"
 
Clarise checked to see if Will wanted something else.

"No, thanks.
 
I'm fine," he said politely.

Clarise noticed the stone-cold glare Will gave to Hugo, his earlier humour nowhere to be seen.

"Well, if there's nothing else then I better get back to the kitchen," the pest announced to Will's relief.
 
But Hugo didn't leave them straight away.
 
He looked at Clarise again as if Will wasn't there.

"I would really love to see you again, Clarise.
 
Back here," Hugo said to her provocatively.
 

Will forced himself to smother his anger towards this man that dared to flirt openly with Clarise.
 
She's with me, idiot!
 
Then as an obvious afterthought, Hugo added, "You too, ah, Will," hardly glancing at him and walking back to his kitchen.

After that, Will was ready to go.
 
He insisted on paying the bill.
 
Noticing his rather grim mood, Clarise decided not to argue.
 

The earlier friendly, fun, flirty mood had dissipated.
 
Noticing how it was Hugo's presence that affected it, Clarise wondered if it was either because Will got annoyed that he was rather rudely ignored by Hugo or because he got jealous of Hugo's too familiar treatment of her.
 
She got thrilled at the thought that Will might be jealous but conceded that the first option was just as possible.
 
And she wasn't happy at Hugo for spoiling their mood.

As they walked back to his car, Will had his hands shoved in his pockets.
 
Wishing for the mood to lighten up again, Clarise held on to Will's arm with both hands, almost hugging it so that her chest was pressing against it.
 
It was a little bold on her part but at that moment, it felt right to Clarise.
 
Will looked at her with a tender smile, put the arm she was hugging around her shoulders and kissed her temple.
 
Clarise put her arm around his waist and sighed softly with contentment.
 
She felt a warm glow travel all over her body.

They drove back to her place in silence.
 
Clarise felt anticipation build up within her and she wondered what Will was thinking.
 
Was he also thinking of their delicious make-out session the last time he was in her apartment?

Will followed her to the front door of her building although he didn't touch her.
 
Clarise fished for her keys from her bag.
 
Will he ask to come up with me, or will he wait until I invited him?
 
She knew that she wanted to continue what they started that Sunday afternoon when he dropped off his box of travel books.
 
She wanted Will.
 
Tonight.
 
Was she ready for this?
 
Yes.

She looked at him, her eyes revealing her desire.
 
"Would you like to come up?" she asked him.

Will stared at her for a long moment, shook his head slightly, and sighed.
 
"No, I better go home."
 
He brushed his knuckle against her cheek and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

Clarise was stunned.
 
'No' was the last thing she expected.
 
She felt confused and the pain of rejection stabbed at her chest.
 
Well, she might have promised herself she would take big leaps but she was not about to plead and beg.
 
She still had her pride.

"Okay," she said, planting a smile on her face but her eyes betrayed her hurt feelings.
 
"Goodnight, then.
 
And thanks for tonight.
 
I really had a great time."
 
She turned to unlock the door.

Will stilled her movements and captured her chin with his hand, tilting her head so their lips were only inches apart.
 
Then he gave her a deep, desperate kiss that seemed to reach for her soul.
 
They were both breathless when he pulled away.
 

"Goodnight, baby.
 
Now get in so I know you're safe inside," he said huskily as he gently pushed her through the door.

Clarise didn't know whether to laugh or cry as she walked through the foyer to her apartment.
 
Ooohh, what a sweet, confusing, sweet, frustrating man!

~~

Will looked at his alarm clock and groaned.
 
2:42am, it read.
 
He'd been trying to sleep for hours but the turmoil in his head and heart wasn't giving him rest.

On their way back from the restaurant, the silence in the car gave him the chance to explore the feelings he felt that night.
 
He wanted Clarise badly.
 
He already knew that before last night.
 
But he was shocked to discover that he'd also started to care for her.
 
His reaction to that pest Hugo and the overwhelming tenderness he felt for her as they walked back to his car confirmed it for him.

Realising that he cared for Clarise scared the hell out of him and had him retreating.
 
That was one step towards falling in love and he didn't want to fall in love with anyone anytime soon.
 
He just wasn't ready for it.
 
He wasn't ready for the compromises and commitment that came with a serious relationship.
 
There was still so much he wanted to accomplish in his business so that he could ensure his parents would have the care and lifestyle they were worthy of for the rest of their lives.
 
He had no intention of putting a relationship with a woman above those priorities until they had been accomplished.
 

His failed relationship with Karen, entwined with the physical, mental and psychological injuries suffered by his parents, made him a blinkered man who could only see the drawbacks of a serious relationship.
 
He re-confirmed his decision that no-strings-attached-sex was still only as far as he would go with any woman in the foreseeable future.
 
And he was certain that wouldn't suit Clarise.
 
She deserved better than that, but that was all he would be able to give.

When she asked him last night if he wanted to come up to her apartment and saw his desire mirrored in her eyes, he felt a momentary joy.
 
But he knew he couldn't do that to her - he couldn't sleep with her when he wasn't prepared to give her what she deserved.
 
He felt a burst of protectiveness towards her that he said 'no'.
 
He chuckled wryly.
 
He protected her from him!

He saw the hurt she tried to hide from his rejection and wished he could take it away from her.
 
He only meant to give her a quick apologetic kiss but realising it could well be the last time he kissed her, he couldn't stop himself from taking what her mouth offered, and giving what he could, until he had to come up for air.

I'm sorry, Clarise.
 
I'll only hurt you more.
 
You'll eventually want something I'm not prepared to give.
 
You deserve better.

He forced himself to ignore the aching pain in his heart.
 
He thought it ridiculous that he could feel so strongly about someone he'd only just met over a week ago, but he couldn't deny it just the same.
 
He convinced himself it was from pure lust.
 
Pathetic, Will, pathetic.

Finally, from exhaustion, he fell asleep.

~~

It had been three days since she last saw Will and Clarise was beside herself.
 

Is he just super busy?
 
Does he have some rule on not calling for a few days after the last date?
 
Maybe he's just not interested in me, after all.

Clarise's insecurities were playing havoc with her mind.
 
She had felt so sure that Will also liked her - desired her even - but now she was afraid she just misread the whole thing.
 
She'd had enough of her internalising and wallowing and decided to call Faye.

"Do you have time for lunch?
 
I could go to you.
 
I don't have meetings this afternoon so I could take my time."
 
Clarise's office in the CBD was about a fifteen minute walk to Faye's.
 
She wanted to have a full hour with her best friend and the walk to and from Faye's vicinity would do her good.

"Yeah, sure.
 
Meet me at that Japanese place next door to my office at 12:30."

"Okay, thanks."
 
Faye heard the dejection in Clarise's voice.

"What's wrong, Clarise?"

"It's about Will.
 
I'll tell you over lunch."

"Okay, I'll see you then."
 
If it's about her getting cold feet again about sleeping with a man she likes, I'll throttle her
, Faye thought.
 
She prepared herself for much of the same old conversation with her best friend when her problem was about a man.

~~

Clarise was almost ready to go to meet Faye for lunch when her other dear friend, Jessa Allen, poked her pretty head inside her office.

"You didn't tell me he was gorgeous," Jessa said, hand on hip.
 

Clarise gave Jessa a questioning look while admiring Jessa's new designer outfit she got recently.
 
It suited Jessa's petite figure and made her look sultry, yet chic. "Who?"

"William Matthews.
 
I went to his office this morning to interview him and a couple of his staff," Jessa answered as she planted herself on one of Clarise's visitor's chairs.

"Oh, you did?"
 
Clarise felt a pang of jealousy and hurt.
 
She wasn't really expecting Jessa to let her know of her schedule.
 
But for some reason, it hurt that Will hadn't told her.

Normally, Jessa would have known all about her and Will by now but Jessa had been super busy catching up with work after her one-month holiday that they haven't had the time to get together.

"Yeah."
 
Jessa noticed her friend's subtle reaction and watched her closely.
 
"He's a very interesting man.
 
I take it he's not going out with anyone at the moment?"

Clarise couldn't help the blush that crept to her cheeks nor did she successfully hide the hurt that reached her eyes.
 
"I - I don't know."

Jessa pursed her lips.
 
Hhmm.
 
Interesting.
 
An idea flashed in her mind.

"Didn't you gather anything from your interview?" Clarise asked her.

"Well, sort of.
 
Did you know that his parents had been in a car accident over a year ago?"

"Oh, really?
 
I didn't know that," Clarise said curiously.

"Yeah.
 
That had been the catalyst for him building his business to its current success in a rather short time frame.
 
They're also one of the main reasons why he's so focused on reaching his goals.
 
He's got a pretty clear vision about where he wants to take his business."

 
Clarise thought about the conversations she'd had with Will.
 
He spoke very fondly of his parents and it was obvious he gave them a lot of support but he hadn't mention the accident.

"Anyway," Jessa continued, sensing Clarise's keen interest.
 
"I gathered he works very long hours.
 
He's obviously very driven.
 
When I asked how he manages his personal time, he said 'I don't have much of a personal time to manage'."
 

Clarise was looking at Jessa as if she was starved for the information she was offering so Jessa decided to push it a bit more.
 
"Then I said 'that couldn't be good for your love life'.
 
He just gave this self-deprecating laugh and said he didn't think anyone would want him for a boyfriend as no woman would want put up with the work schedule he had set for himself.
 
And then...," Jessa paused for effect.
 
"And then he asked about you."
 

"What do you mean?" Clarise asked breathlessly, eyes registering surprise.

Jessa shrugged, "He said, 'How's Clarise?'"
 

Jessa saw Will's hesitation before he asked about Clarise and thought he looked almost surprised that he'd actually asked the question.
 
She saw the warmth in his eyes and saw his expression softened when he mentioned Clarise.

"And you said...?" Clarise prodded.

"I said, 'she's fine'."
 

"And?"
 

"And then just like that he ended our interview and called in his customer service manager so I could start my interview with her."

Clarise was silent.

Jessa mulled a little bit and decided to push it further.
 
She was a sucker for romance, after all.

"You know I thought it was a bit funny that you handed the bulk of this job over to me and gave your reason as 'conflict of interest' because of his friendship with your future brother-in-law.
 
Knowing your tendencies to be ultra-professional, I didn't think much of it.
 
But now that I've interviewed William and,"
 
she waved her hand across Clarise's face, "seeing this reaction..."