Will To Live (12 page)

“
I think Canada needs to lie down and get some rest before she goes through all of that.”
 

Everyone, but Will, bitches and moans about having to wait. Will helps me stand, then forces his way through the crowd as he leads me to the nearest bedroom on the ground floor. He helps me undress and tucks me into the big comfortable-looking bed. Then he lies beside me on top of the blanket and puts his arm under my head. I snuggle in close to him, relaxing with a feeling of peace I haven't felt in so long. I feel his gentle touch as he runs his hand lightly over my face until I drift off. His words of love and comfort remove all the doubts I had about our relationship.

I wake to the sounds of men yelling and cursing outside the bedroom window. I groan and struggle out of bed. Moving toward the window, I pull back the curtain and see Will, Nick, both my dads, and all my brothers surrounding Jake. They're attempting to lead him somewhere, and he's fighting them.

I groan again, sigh, then throw my filthy clothes back on. As I make my way through the house and head for the back door, several of my family members try to stop me. I ignore the ones I can, and reassure the ones I can't. Once I'm outside in the cold, I turn to my right and round the house to come face to face with the mob.

Everyone stops and quiets when they see me, and Jake is the only one not wearing a look of anger. Will's eyes are black with rage, so maybe anger is too light of a description.

“
What's going on?” My voice comes out in a weak croak from my throat being so dry. I clear it a few times and repeat myself.
 

No one speaks. Jake has a huge self-satisfied smirk on his face, so I know whatever it is, can't be good. “Jake? What did you do?” A sharp sense of foreboding settles on me. I watch Will's face darken even more.

“
Seems you forgot to inform Billy-Boy on how much you enjoyed my bed, and that we ran off
together
. He's under the impression I kidnapped you. You went with me
willingly
, Canada. You made love to me with no resistance on your part at all. At least, not our first night. The second time you had a few issues, but it didn't last very long. After that, you never had a problem jumping in bed with me. So why don't you tell this lynch mob the truth. Tell them you love me, damn it, and to let me go.”
 

I stare at Jake's stupid grin, shock waves pulsing through me. I never imagined having to tell Will this way, in front of everyone, and having to explain why Jake's versions of events weren't too far off from the truth. It definitely wasn't the truth Jake believes, but there
was
some truth hidden in it. Hidden deeply, and so much more complex than Jake prefers, but it's there none the less.
 

I did stop fighting him, what was the point? It was going to happen no matter what I said or did. It could either have happened with me being severely beaten first, or I could have done what I had to do in order to survive. But I, in no freaking way,
wanted
it to happen. And I damn sure hadn't felt any love towards the idiot by that point.
 

I look around at everyone waiting for me to answer, and my terror increases, afraid no one will believe me. Finally, I find some words to give them. “I had no choice but to go with him. He was about to discover Melody in the armoire, and it wouldn't have been long before he found me too, as I had only been able to hide in the closet. I had to go with him, but I in no damn way
wanted
to go with him!”
 

Jake's smirk dies on his face. He protests that I'm lying, that I confessed my need to be with him, that I had said he was the only one I could ever love.

This man has totally lost it! I truly believe that
he
believes his own lies. None of that happened.
None
of it!
 

Will still isn't talking, or looking any less pissed off. Everyone else is being
real
supportive, standing around just staring at me. I start pacing, freaking out over how to explain the second part of Jake's brilliant revelation. The sex that wasn't exactly as voluntary as he wants them to think it was.
 

Frikken moron!

Suddenly, I stop and turn to Will. “You know, we
could
talk about this in private.”
 

Immediate shouts of “No way!” and “Hell, no!” fill the air. I look at the others and give them a go to hell look.

“
Alright! Shut the hell up then. The first time we had sex,” Will's body tightens, and he stands straighter. His face takes on a murderous rage, much more so now than ever before. I rush to finish, “Jake beat me severely. I thought he was going to kill me. Then he medicated me with liquor, and lots of it. I stupidly sucked it down, because I hurt so damn bad. So no, I probably didn't put up much of a fight. I'm sorry. But after that, my choice was that I either slept with him, or risked being hurt or killed by him. Which would you have had me do?”
 

The early morning was silent, not even the birds dared to make a sound. I felt everyone's eyes on me, but I couldn't face them. Especially Will's. No one moved.

Then Jake, the man once so smart, showed how stupid he's become. “I
never
beat her. She wanted it all. Of course she's going to lie to her family, especially her
husband
.” He spat out the word husband as if it were an insult. “She needs a real man. Someone who knows how to control her and keep her in her place. If it takes a beating or two, then so what? She–”
 

Before anyone could even comprehend what was happening, Jake flew a few feet across the air and landed hard on his back. The air whooshed from his lungs and he lay on the ground stunned. Next thing we know, Will is on top of Jake, and his fist is making horrible thudding, cracking sounds against Jake's face. Blood flies in all directions, and something small and white goes sailing and lands in the grass. It takes me a while to realize it's one of Jake's teeth.

Jake hasn't a chance against Will's rage, and Will's rage doesn't allow for Jake to even attempt to defend himself. If it weren't for the others all ganging up and pulling Will away from him, Jake would have been killed. Any other time, that would have been okay, but we need Jake whether any of us like it or not.

Will jerks away from all the bodies holding him back and storms off into the woods at the back of the property. Jake lies on the ground unconscious, and no one makes any move to check on him or wake him up. I stand and watch Will until he disappears, then I hear a throat clear behind me.

“
Well? What the hell are you waiting for? Go after him.” I look back at the speaker – my brother, Andy.
 

I know I look terrified and undecided, but really!
What would you do? I mean, the man is pissed and I have no idea if he's still pissed at me. I'm over the whole drama of not caring if I die. I want to live, damn it!
 

But I look back at the woods and my feet just seem to make their own decision. Looks like I'm going to go to him after all. On my too-short journey, my only companion is regret and fear. I should have told Will the entire story, instead of keeping my secrets so I could sleep...alright, stall. If only there were do-overs.

When I reach the woods, I slow and listen. Hearing nothing to let me know where Will is, I slowly move through the trees and pray to god that Will doesn't mistake me for a zombie.

Hell! He might want to kill me anyway, zombie or not!

I hear the real zombies moaning and groaning. Bangs from their bodies echo throughout the wooded area, and it sends a chill up and down my spine to hear them so close, with just a wall separating us.

I trip over something and a hand grabs my arm. I scream and struggle before I recognize Will's voice attempting to calm me down. The zombies on the other side of the wall go berserk when they hear me freak out..

“
Son of a bitch! You scared the hell out of me, Will!” I shriek at him.
 

Will shrugs and offers a weak, “I'm sorry.”

He's sitting against a tree, his legs crossed at the ankle out in front of him, body still so tight with anger and tension, and his face made of stone. I ask if I can sit with him and he just shrugs again. I fight down the urge to yell and scream in an attempt to defend myself, and just stay quiet for once.

Yes, it's hard for me.

Finally, Will clears his throat. I turn my head and watch him as he stares into the trees in front of us. Then he says, “I believe you. Kind of.”

I gasp and open my mouth, but he cuts me off.

“
We both know you had a thing for Jake. So I can't help but feel you weren't totally against it.”
 

“
But–”
 

Will cuts me off again and says, “You two were going to get together if I hadn't shown back up, remember? I sure as hell do. And–”

So angry I can barely see straight, I cut him off this time. “By the time this all happened, I knew he had lied to me, I thought he had frikken
killed
you, and I found out he was involved in some shady shit. There is no way in hell I wanted to sleep with him. He beat me almost to
death
, Will. Several times! What the hell was I supposed to do? Really! Tell me, Will. Tell me what I should have done. He's bigger, stronger, and since I had a broken ankle, how far and fast could I have run? I had no weapons. There was nothing I could do!”
 

I watch Will as I wait for it to sink in, or for him to come up with a suggestion, though not helpful now, that there must have been something I could have done.

“
You weren't there, Will. You have no idea what I went through. All I wanted was to go home, be with you, my boys, and the rest of my family. I was terrified I'd never see you all again. I was also terrified that you
would
show up and every damn one of you would be killed.” Seeing no change in Will's attitude, I give up. “You know what, screw this. I'm done trying to explain myself when you just don't
want
to believe me. See ya later, Will.”
 

I stand and take two steps before I feel his arms wrap around me. He spins me and presses my face against his chest.

Holding me tight, he says, “Canada, I love you. I'm just going to have to have time to deal with this. But you're my wife and I'm not going to just give you up. A part of me believes you, but the part that had to watch you and Jake for so long, watch the attraction and lust between you two, is fucking with my head. Jesus, Canada! I saw you in his arms. I saw you two kiss. Do you really expect me to forget all that?”

I think about how I would feel right now if the situation were reversed. He's right. It wouldn't be easy to believe without question. “I'm so sorry, Will. I was a stupid ass and I don't expect you to forget...but hopefully, someday, you will forgive me. I love you with all my heart.”

Will brushes his hand against my cheek and the love I see in his eyes makes me feel like an even bigger piece of shit. It hurts to see the pain I've put him through, hurts bad. I drop my head and look at the ground instead, shame making me sick to my stomach.

Then he says, “It'll be okay. Promise.”

Then he lifts my head and presses his lips to mine. I melt against him and feel an amazingly strong jolt of love go through me. I missed this man so much. Not only has he always been there for me before all this zombie shit happened, but he was, and still is, my very best friend. No other man has ever accepted me for all my quirks, and could put up with my bipolar rollercoaster of emotions. I never trusted anyone else with my deepest feelings and secrets. No one but Will. He has accepted me without question, and has forgiven me so much. Even the way he's handling this shit is amazing. He's truly irreplaceable. I vow never to take him for granted, or forget so easily, again.

We hold each other for several minutes, neither of us wanting to let go and return to the house. But sometimes, things just don't work out the way you want them to.

We jump apart, and Will pushes me behind him, when the wall nearest us crashes down into the trees. Zombies flood into the opening and make their way to us, their intense hunger the only thing on their minds.

My nails dig into Will's arms when the panic tries to take over. But he turns and grabs hold of my own arm, gives me a hard tug, and the panic – although not gone – suddenly eases and survival mode kicks in.

My mind searches and locks in on images of my boys.
They
are my priority, zombies be damned! My ankle threatens to drop me with each step but I keep going anyway, the pain just an annoying tickle in the back of my mind. Will's grip doesn't loosen, and with his help, we race to the edge of the woods. The grunts and moans of the flesh-eaters behind us act like a cattle prod, urging us forward.
 

I hear the crash of their bodies moving through the bushes, the tall grass, the fallen tree limbs, and because of that, I know without even having to look that there are some runners mixed in with the walkers. I can almost feel the hot, moldy breath on the back of my neck. I desperately want to look, want to see just how close they are, but I know slowing down even that much could screw it all up for me.

We finally break through the trees and my stomach drops to almost tangle my feet when I see all the people that are outside, exposed and unaware of the danger. I try to scream, but my throat is dry and nothing comes out. Although Will has no such problem, and bellows out for them to get the hell inside and get armed.

People scatter. Kids turn in terror and flee inside the buildings.

A bullet whizzes by me and I stumble, not expecting it. Will barely slows down, but grabs me around the waist and sets me back on my feet, holding on tight enough that I'm barely touching the ground. We keep running and reach the back door, which my mom is holding open for us. The terror in her eyes gives me a clue to just how close they are to us. Probably the fact she raises her gun and aims it just past my head helps with that too.