Wildflowers (13 page)

Lord, open Thou my heart to hear

And through Thy Word to me draw near

Let me Thy Word e’er pure retain

Let me Thy child and heir remain.

The simplicity of that first verse brought Genevieve a spark of guilt. She knew her heart wasn’t open. It hadn’t been for a long time. She only read the second verse silently as the others sang it. Long ago her father had taught her never to say anything unless she meant it. He had drilled in her that that principle applied to songs, creeds, and vows as well. She couldn’t sing the second verse with the others because she knew the words didn’t line up with what she was experiencing in her life.

Thy Word doth deeply move the heart,

Thy Word doth perfect health impart

Thy Word my soul and joy doth bless

Thy Word brings peace and happiness.

The hymnbooks closed, and a prayer was given from the pulpit. Then the congregation was invited to sing a contemporary song before sitting down. The words were printed on the back of the bulletin. She was surprised to see that Mallory and Anna knew the song by heart and sang cheerfully.

The tune was lighthearted, and the words were about loving Jesus and walking closely with Him every day.

Genevieve glanced at Steven. He seemed to be taking it all in. Genevieve had a feeling he would like the combination of old hymns and new choruses, even though he didn’t sing along with either. Steven liked fairness and equality. He would notice that this church was trying to offer something for every age.

When the new pastor, Gordon Allistar, stepped behind the pulpit, all eyes were up front. His Australian accent seemed to draw the congregation into his message since hearing such an accent in Glenbrooke was a novelty. He wore a respectable looking suit and appeared well enough informed. Something was engagingly fresh about his preaching style. He just spoke. He spoke as if he were talking to one person instead of several hundred.

Mallory leaned against Genevieve during the message and twisted Genevieve’s gold bracelet around and around her wrist. Steven appeared attentive, and Anna kept glancing between both parents as if checking to see if they were listening to everything the pastor was saying. It occurred to Genevieve that anyone who looked at the Ahrens family would think they were the model Christian family. How could anyone suspect that this was Steven’s first visit to church and the last place Genevieve wanted to be?

At the end of the service, the pastor asked Alissa and Brad to come up front with their daughters, Beth and Ami. Genevieve smiled when she saw the proud look on Brad’s clean-shaven face and the joy on Alissa’s beautiful face. They each held one of their daughters. The girls were shyly holding on to their new parents and looking away from the crowd.

Pastor Allistar spoke directly to each of the little girls, making eye contact with them and gently patting their shoulders. “You are a precious gift,” he said, even though the girls didn’t understand English yet. “We are all so glad you’re here. As a church family, we promise to care for you and be
here for you as you grow. It’s my prayer that as a church, we can demonstrate to you that God loves you and cares for you. He is the one who brought you here. He is the only one who will always be there for you no matter what.”

One of the girls, the one Alissa was holding, seemed to be carefully listening to the pastor. As soon as he said, “He is the only one who will always be there for you,” the little girl held out her arms to Pastor Allistar as if she wanted him to take her in his arms.

The congregation gave a quiet “ohh” in unison, as she went to him and nestled her head against his shoulder. Pastor Gordon gazed at the little one in his arms. He stood directly under the stained glass window. Streams of color-infused light poured over the shepherd of this small church as he held this little lamb in his arms. The harmony between the living moment and the art frozen in colored glass was stunning.

Genevieve glanced at Steven. His mouth had opened in a tiny
O
, turning his face into a charming exclamation point.

Everyone spoke of that glowing moment afterwards at the luncheon held in the church’s multipurpose room. They all saw the symbolic imagery. Steven said on the way home that the whole church experience had been different than what he had expected and much more enjoyable. Anna seemed pleased with his evaluation.

Genevieve remained quiet. She had been holding so much in for so long it wasn’t hard to keep her thoughts and feelings to herself.

Tuesday morning, Steven left for a fifteen-day stretch.
That night, when Genevieve went to bed, she missed him. For so many years she had steeled herself against feeling any sense of loss when he left town that it made her mad to feel this loneliness all over again.

All night long she tossed and wrestled. The words from Sunday’s hymn kept running through her mind.

Thy Word doth deeply move the heart,

Thy Word doth perfect health impart.

She shot long questions heavenward, not quite willing to label them as prayers, yet knowing this was the most she had conversed with God in a long time.

When none of her questions received any hint of an answer, she turned on the light and went downstairs, looking for her Bible. She found it, after a search, and sat in the living room at two in the morning, with no idea where she should start to read.

What part of God’s Word will move my heart? Which verses will bring me health?

All she could remember was that the women in the Bible study that had met at the Wildflower Café were reading in John. Genevieve turned to the book of John. She read three chapters and felt comforted. Her heart didn’t feel particularly moved, nor did she feel a surge of improved mental health. But then she realized she wasn’t reading in a way to study and ponder deeper meanings. She was just reading. Observing instead of absorbing.

Sometime around four in the morning, Genevieve felt chilled and realized that she had fallen asleep on the couch. She returned to bed and slept solidly for a few hours before
getting up to take the girls to school.

That afternoon, Genevieve combed her hair, put on some lipstick, picked up her Bible, and marched out to her car. Gathering all her courage, she drove to Jessica’s mansion on the hill. She arrived precisely at two-thirty. Walking up to the front door with her Bible under her arm, she knocked.

No one answered.

Glancing around, Genevieve realized no extra cars were parked out front. Even the golden retrievers that usually greeted guests to the Buchanan home hadn’t made an appearance. The weekly Bible study must have found a different place to meet.

Genevieve hurried back to her car feeling her face flushing red. She should have called first.

Driving back into town, Genevieve decided to make a trip to the grocery store as a way of killing time before the girls got out of school. While meandering down the cereal aisle, Genevieve ran into Alissa. Ami and Beth were both sitting inside the grocery basket, wearing matching overalls and pink T-shirts.

“How are you doing?” Alissa gave Genevieve a hug. “I didn’t get to talk to you much on Sunday. Brad and I appreciated you and Steven being there. It meant a lot to us.”

“I’m glad we were there, too.”

“What’s been happening with the café? Brad said they haven’t done much work yet.”

“No, it’s been a long process. All that’s happened so far is that the builder has torn out everything that was damaged. None of the rebuilding has started. I thought someone
would begin on the cabinets this week, but it looks as if they’re not ready for him yet.”

The older girl, Beth, squirmed in the grocery cart. She patted Alissa on the arm and spoke to her in Romanian.

“Are you ready to go home?” Alissa asked her.

“Home,” Beth repeated.

Alissa smiled at her and held up her finger. “Okay. One minute.”

Beth responded by holding up one finger.

“What are you doing after you finish your shopping?” Alissa asked.

“Picking up my girls and going home.”

“Do you have time to come over to our place? Brad and I wanted to talk to you and Steven about something.”

“He’s flying this week,” Genevieve said. “He won’t be home until the twenty-sixth.”

“Could you and the girls come by? I’d love to have the three of you stay for dinner. We’re just having chicken, but we have plenty.”

“You don’t have to make dinner for us.”

“No, I’d like to. This will be a good chance for us to talk.”

“What can I bring?”

“How about a salad? And come over as soon as you’re ready. Don’t wait for dinnertime.”

“Okay, we’ll be there in about an hour.”

“Good,” Alissa said. “We’ll see you then.”

Genevieve gathered some fresh ingredients for a salad and picked up her girls from school. They were excited
about the chance to see Beth and Ami.

With a large bowl of salad and two types of dressing, Genevieve and her daughters arrived at Brad and Alissa’s home around four-thirty. Their small house was tucked into a glen of sheltering cedar trees. At the edge of their property in the back was a creek.

Genevieve and the girls followed the sound of voices around to the back of the house and found Brad building a playhouse for his new daughters. Beth and Ami seemed to be enjoying every minute of the construction.

“Hello!” Genevieve called out.

“Hey, glad you came over,” Brad said. “Alissa is inside. How are you girls doing?”

“Fine,” Anna and Mallory answered in unison.

Beth and Ami stood still, watching the older girls with huge eyes and curious expressions. It took only a few moments before each of them selected her “big sister” for the evening. Beth went to Mallory, and Ami, the littler one, went to Anna. Genevieve knew her girls would love playing the role of nanny to these sweet little ones.

Genevieve entered the back door into the kitchen where Alissa was loading the dishwasher.

“I’m so glad you guys came over,” Alissa said. “I’ve been wanting your girls to spend time with Beth and Ami. This is perfect.”

“Thanks for inviting us.”

“I just put the chicken in the oven,” Alissa said. “It’ll be an hour before we eat. Would you like something to drink?”

“No, I’m fine. Thanks.”

“I have to show you what we did with the girls’ room.” Alissa motioned for Genevieve to follow her down the hall.

Brad and Alissa’s house had been custom built more than a decade ago. The finer touches were seen in the mantle on the wood-burning fireplace and the skylights above the entryway. The house was small and efficient with three, good-sized bedrooms. Alissa ushered Genevieve into the room they had fixed for Beth and Ami and stood in the doorway.

The twin beds were against opposite walls that were painted a pale blue. The carpet was green like grass, and all around the room were a dozen bright sunflowers painted on the walls, transforming the room into an indoor summer garden.

“This is adorable!” Genevieve said. “I didn’t know you painted.”

“I didn’t do the painting,” Alissa said. “Your daughter did. Didn’t Anna tell you about painting this room?”

Genevieve tried to mask her surprise. “Anna said she helped to paint, but I thought she meant painting with rollers and brushes.”

“No, we had the base coat on the walls already the night she came for the sleepover with the girls from church. Then she stayed with us for the rest of the weekend while you and Steven were at the coast.”

“I remember,” Genevieve said.

“Anna came up with the idea for the sunflowers on the walls when she saw the pillows I’d bought for the beds. We were going to paint just one big sunflower in the corner, but
once we started, we couldn’t stop. Beth and Ami were so cute when we first brought them into their room. They kept touching the flowers. Ami still stands on her bed and pretends to sniff them.”

“It’s wonderful,” Genevieve said. “I hadn’t realized Anna did this. It’s darling. How are you and the girls adjusting to this new life all of you suddenly have?”

Alissa leaned against the wall and smiled softly. She had on a sunny yellow T-shirt and jeans, which blended nicely with the room’s décor. “I think we’re doing okay. It’s a big adjustment for all of us. The girls still sleep together in one bed. I don’t think they quite understand that they each have their own bed. The language barrier is the biggest problem. We’re noticing they’ve only picked up about five or six English words in the weeks they’ve been with us. I know it will take a while.”

“I noticed at the grocery store that Beth knows the word
home
,” Genevieve said.

“Yes. They both know the word
home
.”

“Do they seem to understand that you’re their parents now?”

“I don’t know. They’ve been through so much. They don’t have names for Brad and me yet. They just pat us on the arm when they want something. It’s still sinking in for both of us that we have two daughters.”

“A double blessing.” Genevieve smiled. “The only thing better than two daughters is three daughters.”

A wistful shadow of something painful seemed to brush across Alissa’s expression. “I actually do have three daughters.
I don’t know if you knew I had a baby when I was a teenager. I had a baby girl.”

Genevieve tried to control her surprised expression. “No, I didn’t know.”

“It’s taken me years to get to the point I can mention it so openly. Brad has really helped me to see that Shawna was a gift from the Lord. She’s almost fifteen now.”

“The same age as Anna,” Genevieve said.

Alissa nodded. “When I first met you in Pasadena, Anna captured my heart.”

Genevieve nodded. She remembered the bond that had blossomed between Anna and Alissa. Anna was around eight at the time and always finding excuses to visit Alissa at the duplex next door.

“I wish I had been strong enough to tell you then. It would have helped you to understand why I had such a need to shower attention on Anna. I guess I thought that I could give to Anna a little bit of the love I had never been able to give to Shawna.”

Lowering herself to the edge of one of the beds, Genevieve said softly, “Tell me about Shawna.”