Wildfire (12 page)

His lazy voice reached out to her, gentling her, easing away the tension. "Just think of it. That sky has seen it all, the whole pitiful history of man. It was there when mankind took its first baby steps, back when people were natural and free, back before society went into its rule-making frenzy."

Rae found herself caught and held by the smoky voice, intrigued against her will by his story. Somehow, without being aware of having moved, she was out of the water, leaning against the side of the shower, her body turned slightly so that her right side pressed against the canvas.

"The way you are now, naked under the stars, is the most natural thing in the world. Clothes, houses, college degrees, eating with the right fork ... all those things are walls we use to keep us separate from nature. Over there is wildness and disorder. On this side, civilization. Separate and therefore better. But the wall is artificial, an arrogance on the part of man. We could build the Great Wall of

China around us, and it wouldn't change anything, thank God. It doesn't get any better than nature, and the two of us, we're a part of it. When you get down to basics, the same stuff that's in a giraffe, a bluebird, and a honey bee is also in us."

The words weren't new. It was a simple theme that she had heard before. But this time something was different. He made all the complicated notions laid on by the makers of rules seem frivolous. He was telling her to take pride in her kinship with all the other creatures living on the earth. He was telling her that the majesty of nature was in her.

"And just like the giraffe, bluebird, and honey bee, we have, built in us all, the overpowering need to merge with the opposite sex." His voice was deeper now, and filled with a sensuality that came to her in velvety strokes. "We do our merging behind closed doors and between perfumed sheets, and we fool ourselves into thinking it's a civilized act. But take away the doors and sheets, put it out on a hill, under this unending sky, and you see it for what it really is. Primitive. Uninhibited. Bold and free. Totally, unapologetically natural."

This was what he had tried to tell her weeks ago in her office, that she had she spent her whole life building walls between herself and her true nature. Was he right? Did she have that kind of glorious wildness in her?

"Remember, the sky has seen it all." He was leaning on the canvas now. Because she was a step above him, his shoulder was level with hers, and she could feel the weight of him pressing against her. "For time out of mind, it's seen those two shapes, lying together in the cool grass on a hilltop with starlight giving their skin a silver sheen that can't be copied by any man-made lamp."

His voice was getting to her. It was really, really getting to her. Erotic, like being rubbed by raw, nubby silk. Enticing, provoking, seducing—

"One he, one she, the way it was meant to be. The sky isn't shocked to see her legs wrapped around him. And it isn't offended by the things he's doing to her. It knows that this particular she is enjoying what this particular he can give her, welcoming it, opening herself up for more. Without restraint, without apology. No touch forbidden, no act unthinkable. Whatever feels good is right."

There was a long, incredibly tense pause, and then he whispered, "Can you see it, Rae?"

"Yes," she said, her voice low and hoarse. "Yes, I can see—"

At that very moment he shifted his position. It was only a slight movement, but she felt something—a button, a fingernail, something—scrape across the canvas against the taut, sensitive tip of her right breast.

One accidental movement, one rough touch, but it sent hot shards of pleasure streaking through her body, making her suck in a sharp gasp of shock.

"Is something wrong? Rae?"

"No . . . no, nothing's wrong."

But she was lying. Something was very wrong. She had been the biggest fool alive to think she could disregard her attraction to Tanner. It was too much to overlook, too big to ignore.

Even as she fought for control, he moved again. And again she felt the electric frisson of desire that caused her muscles to contract in automatic response. Her head tilted back, her spine arching involuntarily, and when she heard him speak again, when she heard the rasping whisper on the other side of the canvas, the words became lost somewhere in her dazed mind.

"What?" she said, breathless, confused. "I didn't hear you."

"Get closer." Temptation. Canvas-shrouded seduction. "Press a little closer, so you can hear over the water."

She should move away, she told herself. She should do it quickly, make it a definitive action. She should—

But already she was pressing her body more deeply into the cool, coarse cloth.

"Remember when I told you that your definition of lewd was different from mine?" His knuckles pressed through the canvas, moving, as though he were rubbing the muscles on his shoulder. "Do you find it lewd, the total freedom of those two people on the hill?" His signet ring scraped across her breasts, once, twice, three times, then slid lower, down her ribs to her stomach. "Does it embarrass you, the idea of sex without rules, without taboos, the thought of taking what you want without ever having to worry about whether or not it's quite civilized?"

The words weren't connecting with her brain. They were going straight to her body, urging her to get closer and even closer. And at that particular moment in time, his canvas-filtered touch on her aching body was more urgent, more important, than anything on earth.

Swallowing a whimper of pure need, Rae raised her eyes to the stars. She had to pull herself together. She had to break away before—

But even the thought of what might happen next was too much for her to handle. Dragging up more strength than she knew she possessed, she jerked away from the canvas panel.

And stepped directly under the water.

"What is it?" he asked when he heard her swear sharply under her breath. "What's happening?"

"I got my hair wet," she complained, her voice stiff.

He gave a low chuckle. "For a minute there I thought I had a convert, but look how fast you slipped back into civilization. Getting your hair wet isn't a disaster, sweetness. Let me tell you about making love in the rain."

"No. No, that's all right. The lesson was ... effective," she said, already in the process of turning off the water, "but I think I'll just go in how and dry off."

It took fifteen minutes of leaning her head against the bathroom wall, her eyes tightly closed, her fists clenched into fists, before Rae finally felt her pulse return to normal.

He didn't know, she told herself. He couldn't know what he had done to her. He couldn't

It was only by telling herself over and over again that Tanner had no idea of what had taken place on her side of that canvas panel that Rae found the courage to put on the silk robe and leave the safety of the bathroom.

As they sat on the couch and talked, as Tanner forgot about the lesson and began the first normal conversation of their association, Rae tried desperately to take a step backward, back to the sane sensible person she had been before seeking Tanner's help, but it was no use. Something irreversible had taken place. She couldn't go back. It would be like asking a flower to become a seed again.

She would simply have to learn how to manage this new personality, she told herself, swallowing a sigh of relief when the buzzer on the dryer went off.

When she rose to her feet, Tanner stood as well, and there was a peculiar expression on his face, a glitter of something in his dark eyes, a smile that was almost rueful.

"What's that look for?" she asked, puzzled.

He gave a soft laugh and shook his head. "If you want to send Drew right out of his mind, you might consider wearing that tomorrow night."

Slowly lowering her head, she followed his gaze downward. The silk robe had slipped open, and the swells of her breasts were in plain view, only the tips covered.

Barely breathing,, Rae didn't move when he reached out, took hold of the edges of the robe, and brought them together over her naked flesh, letting the backs of his thumbs scrape along the swells of her breasts. After smoothing down the lapels, he drew the belt tighter at her waist.

"There, now you're covered," he said, as though she were a child getting ready to go out into the snow. "Go on, scoot. You have to go home and rest up for tomorrow night."

Later, after she had dressed, after he had given her a few last-minute instructions and wished her good luck on her date with Drew, Rae opened her car door and took one last look back at the cabin.

The light was shining behind him, outlining his hard, lean body. And for one breathless moment, before she could push the thought away, she recalled an ancient sky, a grass-covered hill, and two naked, entwined bodies.

Turning into a flower was sometimes a very confusing process.