But they were becoming parents. He had a family to think about now. Powerful protective impulses for Brynn and their life together eroded the death grip PTSD exercised on his life. Looking up random words wasn’t the only thing he did online during those late night craving runs. He’d been checking out SUV’s—like the one Caleb had. Matter of fact, he intended to get his brother’s opinion on the choices he’d narrowed down. Safety first—after all, he was about to be hauling a car seat around.
“Grab my purse,” Brynn grunted when he helped her slide off the seat and stand. “Ugh,” she huffed. “Sitting that long kills me.”
He rubbed his hand on the small of her back and hugged her close. Seeing the changes in her body as their baby grew was blowing his mind—and he’d been a fucking medic for Pete’s sake. Saying she glowed was a pitiful way of describing the radiant beam that his wife put off, even in her sleep.
“Pregnant looks good on you,” he murmured next to her ear. “But it kills me when you’re uncomfortable.”
She pulled back, put her hand on his cheek and smiled. “Baby. I love being pregnant. And I love being uncomfortable.” He put a hand on her tummy and looked at her doubtfully. All she did was smile even more. “That’s your baby in there, you big bad man. Every twinge, each bizarre craving, all the kicking and swollen ankles ahead—Jackson Merrill, I love all of it. And you.”
Yeah. Contented.
“Where the hell is everyone,” he muttered, her purse in one hand while he helped her up the steps with the other.
Brynn’s snark-meter was set on medium when she drawled, “What? Where’s the welcome party? Sheesh. No cheesy souvenirs for them!”
Jax glanced around as they climbed the stairs and navigated the porch. Cal’s Explorer was nowhere around. Brynn’s car was in its spot. So was his work truck. It was eerily quiet. His crew wasn’t in place either. Something wasn’t right but he couldn’t put his finger on what.
“Hold up, Mrs. Merrill,” he chuckled with a cheeky grin. “Touch that door and you’re on the receiving end of a spanking—baby or not.”
“I beg your pardon,” his wife shrieked with laughter. “Our baby absolutely will not come into this world while I have your handprint on my ass.”
He kissed her on the lips and playfully smacked her bottom. “You didn’t object the other night.”
“Oh yeah? Well,” she snickered. “You cheat at Scrabble. And since when did wagering become part of the game? I just know you already had those damn letters before you put that win or lose bet on the table.”
“Quizzify,” he belted out like a game show emcee. “Are you quizzifying your husband’s ethics? I’m shocked.”
“Mm hmm”
“Hold this,” he commanded, shoving her purse into her hands. Finding the door unlocked, he kicked the wood door, then used the stopper on the screen door to hold it wide.
His wife was looking at him with a curious frown. “Are you checking for bogeymen? What’s happening, Jax?”
He took a deep breath and carefully scooped his very pregnant bride into his arms. Her squeal of surprise gave him one of those king of the world feelings.
“Your big bad husband is carrying his bride over the threshold. Now zip it and pretend to appreciate the romantic gesture.”
She laughed like hell, nuzzled into his neck as he got them through the door without smacking her head or dropping her to the floor. As he slid her to her feet, she whispered, “There’s a really good chiropractor in town. Specializes in strains and pulls.”
“Are you insinuating I’m not strong enough to carry my wife?” he barked.
“No. I’m reminding you that I weigh a quarter ton right now and maybe you want to consider what carrying me will do to your back.”
He suddenly hunched over and put his hand to his waist. Groaning he said, “You’re right. I fucked up. Looks like you’ll have to do the heavy lifting tonight.”
“Oh, nice try,” she teased with a swat on his chest. “But if you’d rather lay there and take it, I’ll happily saddle up, Mr. Merrill.”
He grabbed her and drew them into a ferocious hug while they laughed joyfully and he helped himself to a delightful helping of her ass.
“Really? Do you two need to get a room?”
They both turned in unison, startled by Charlie’s silent approach. The sardonic smirk she wore was so a Wilde sister trait.
“Charlie!” Brynn squealed. Forgetting him for the moment, she ran to her little sister and went in for a fierce hug. “I missed you, baby girl.”
Jax noticed the way Charlie tightened up at Brynn’s innocent words. A slow burn flamed to life inside him. Goddammit. Cal fucked it up, didn’t he? Shit. He really hoped these two would figure it the fuck out while he was honeymooning. Each time he talked to his brother, Jax came away with the impression that things were better. But shit. Seeing Charlie’s reaction did not bode well for continuing to keep whatever Cal and his sister-in-law were doing under wraps. And once Brynn found out, well … look out.
“I have all kinds of rocks and sea glass to show you, sweetie. Have some great decorating ideas that I’m counting on you to lend a hand with.”
“Hey, sis,” Jax said briskly.
Charlie’s wan smile and flat greeting worried the fuck out of him but as long as Brynn didn’t say anything, neither would he.
“Honey,” his wife began as she batted her eyelashes teasingly. “Be a big bad man, and bring our bags in, would you? And if you see that box full of seashells and stuff, hand it off to me, okay?”
Dismissed. He balked and hung back, unsure what to do as the two sisters strode hand-in-hand toward the kitchen.
“Charlie,” he called out before they got much further. She stopped and turned her head his way. “Where is everyone?”
She blew off his question with an ambiguous shrug and reached for a big purple crystal hanging around her neck. Brynn once told him this was one of her sister’s tells. If she suddenly started fingering whatever stone or jewel she wore, shit was afoot.
He frowned. Displaying a reluctance that made him feel like he was pulling teeth without Novocain, she offered a throw away explanation that told him exactly nothing. “I think Jonas is picking up supplies. Or something.”
Uh huh. Supplies. In the middle of the day. Unlikely. “And my brother? Where’s Caleb?”
Jesus. He almost ducked when she hurled her reply like a thunderbolt. Talk about touching a nerve!
“I have no fucking idea where he is. Was I supposed to be keeping track of his activities? He’s wherever he is, Jax. If you need him, why don’t you call him?”
Whoa. His brother was most definitely on Charlie’s shit list. He almost felt sorry for the motherfucker. Having experienced a dollop or two of Wilde woman displeasure himself, he knew full well what it felt like to have one of these gals get pissy.
Brynn did a little double take, courtesy of her sister’s biting tone. Aw, shit. Till now she’d been so distracted by the wedding and being on a baby high that she wouldn’t have noticed if Charlie and Caleb got into a fist fight five feet from her face so he hadn’t worried much. But he got the sense that with those few words, his wife was switching on her sisterly radar. No matter what, though, he wasn’t saying anything until she did.
S
HIT, SHIT, SHIT. JAX AND
Brynn were home. Even though he was expecting them, it didn’t stop Cal from grumbling when he spied his brother unloading enough luggage for an ocean liner trip from the rear of his truck.
There was nothing to do but meet whatever was going to happen head on. By now Charlize probably filled in all the gory details. She’d have to because even if she didn’t, someone else would. Cal highly doubted Amy was going to say nothing and as for Jonas and the work crew? Fuck, man. He’d behaved like such a king size prick to Jax’s foreman, Cal was lucky they all hadn’t ganged up on him with a nail gun. Or worse.
Pulling alongside the F-150 with the very cool retractable bed cover, Cal set his vehicle to park and immediately swung out of the driver’s seat. Hurrying to help, he mocked his older brother with great enthusiasm. “Here, old man. Let me help you with that. Shouldn’t you be counting grey hairs in a mirror somewhere?”
Jax grabbed his crotch and sneered. “Miss gagging on my dick?”
He threw his head back and laughed. “Fuck you, ya asshole.”
They went in for a bro-hug ‘cause that’s what they did. They hugged. And showed emotion. To each other. They always had.
“You fucked it up, didn’t you?”
Cal let out a long, heavy breath. Well shit. Rubbing his nose in the mess he’d made hadn’t taken very long at all. “She told you?”
“No,” Jax informed him gravely while his brother studied his face. “You look like dog shit and she bit my fucking head off when I asked where you were. I think that’s enough for me to get a pretty clear picture of where things stand. What did you do?”
He wanted to tell him, he really did but how the hell did he explain? Did he say, ‘I’m in love with Charlize and expected her to somehow just know this and fall in line’? Or did he say, ‘Too many minuses and not enough pluses’?
Both were true, only the first was how he saw things and the second was her take on the situation.
Jax prodded him when he didn’t answer right away. “I thought things were better between you two.”
Saying nothing wasn’t an option so he went with his part of the truth. “We got past what happened in Rome. Barely.” Cal felt his face contort. He couldn’t hide his feelings from Jax. “And then I uh, dropped the ball.”
“How?”
Ah. The million dollar question and the ten dollar answer.
“Dude,” he cautioned his brother. “If you slug me again, I’m sending you back to your wife with your balls kicked in.”
Jax surprised him when he put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey man, that first punch was a husbandly requirement. You fucked around with my wife’s little sister and …”
“Aw, shit Jax. Come on. Stop putting it that way. You’re only making it worse.”
“Making what worse?”
Jesus. He was his own worst enemy. Grimacing, he shoved both hands in his pockets and hung his head like a bad kid.
“You know I’m in love with her, right?”
They both leaned against the truck, side-by-side, and stared at the house. After a long minute, Jax answered. “Does it make a difference? What I know? Sounds like your feelings are somewhat in question.”
Cal was glad they weren’t looking at each other. “I’m only gonna tell you this because I’m pretty fucking sure, as are the rest of our two families, that you went through something similar.”
Jax snorted with laughter. “We’re brothers. They’re sisters. Chances are pretty fucking off the charts that our experiences are going to either be uncomfortably similar or completely opposite.”
“Yeah,” he drawled. “So here’s the thing, I uh, kind of got carried away.” He coughed and shuffled awkwardly. “And she uh, well she thinks it was only sex.”
“Are you fucking kidding?” Brotherly displeasure was rolling off Jax in waves.
“Now come on, cut a brother some slack would you? I told her I was falling in love with her.”
“Probably at the exact wrong minute.”
“And … there you have it,” Cal confirmed.
Another long round of silence.
Jax turned his head and looked at him, so he matched his gaze with an open expression.
“I don’t know her all that well but I do know a little bit about these Wilde women and I highly doubt an ill-timed declaration is enough to explain the snarling bitch inside my house.”
He sighed. Twice. “Nah, there’s more.” Cal huffed loudly and shook his head. He so badly wanted to be in denial over how stupid he was, but no such luck.
“Hold on,” Jax quipped. “Should I tape this with my phone? Maybe we can start a time capsule of Merrill men fuck-ups for future reference.”
He glowered at his brother’s laughing reaction. Jax smacked him on the shoulder and choked off his laughter. “I’m sorry, man. Go ahead.”
“Y’know, I was a fucking race car driver when we met. I swear to God, she never showed any real interest in that part of my life. Oh, she cared a little bit and even did some research but it was all work-related.”
“Okay,” Jax drawled. “Is that part of an explanation or a random thought you said out loud?”