Wilde Forever (Wilde Women Book 1) (19 page)

“It must be hard. What you do, I mean. Working all those hours. How come you don’t have a bakery assistant or some sort of help?”

Brynn grimaced at his comment. Apparently he’d hit a bull’s-eye without knowing he was aiming for one.

“Christ. You sound like my father,” she sneered.

He hoped she was kidding with the comparison but somehow he didn’t think so. “Lady, my thoughts where you are concerned are in no way fatherly.”

He was glad when she blushed beet red and looked at him from beneath lowered lashes. “I didn’t mean it that way.” She coughed and cleared her throat. “It’s just that he’s been after me to take on an apprentice. Something about all work and no play.”

“Oh…” he chuckled. “So he’s met you, then?”

In true Brynn style she flipped him the bird and quirked a half leer. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you were in cahoots with my parents on that whole ‘get a life thing’.”

“So they’re up your skirt, are they?”

She snorted. “Yeah, and around the bend.”

“Let me guess,” he ventured. “Something about retirement and grandchildren?”

She gasped and looked at him, startled and wide-eyed. “How’d you know?”

Jax finished off his beer and sat the bottle on the ground. With his fingers threaded, he leaned back in his chair and laid his hands on his stomach. “Our parents are roughly the same age. It must have been something in the water back then or some kind of synchronized delayed reaction cause grandkids are my mother’s needle scratching on a damn broken record.”

She burst out laughing so hard she started to choke. Jax leaned forward quickly and smacked her on the back. “It’s not that funny,” he muttered with a dark scowl.

“Oh hell yeah, it is,” she trilled with delight. “Thank God it’s not just me.”

A thought danced through his mind, begging for release. “Do you want kids, Brynn?”

So many expressions flitted across her face that he lost count almost immediately.

“Marriage is not an option,” she gritted out.

“That’s not what I asked, and you know it.”

Her eyes narrowed, and he swore she looked like she was about to confess some deep dark secret until the moment drifted by. Even though she came back with an answer, Jax was absolutely sure it wasn’t what she’d meant to say.

“I never really thought about it, when I was married that is. Kids always seemed like a conversation for another time. Glad I am that stupid I was not,” she mimicked in a voice that would do Yoda proud.

“And now?”

Usually, it was the guy who changed the subject when these issues were brought up, but in their dynamic, it was Brynn who was pedaling as fast as she could away from anything that even remotely resembled talking about the future. Why that bothered him wasn’t exactly a mystery.

With impressive precision, Brynn chose that moment to yawn as if she hadn’t slept in a dog’s age. What a fucking piece of work this amazing woman was. Even though it was kind of late, by the time clock of a busy bakery owner anyway, he didn’t want the night to end. Not yet.

He let the question about children and the future evaporate in the nighttime air. It was out there hanging though and for now, that would have to do.

“I think it’s past your bedtime, lady,” he murmured softly. “Time to tuck you in.”

“Mmmmmm.” She took a handful of deep breaths with her head on the back of her chair and her eyes closed. “Yeah, you’re right. Time to hit the snore pads.”

The pit fire had burned down to a pile of reddish gold embers pulsing with heat not too much unlike the throbbing of sexual desire centered in his groin. It wasn’t something that could be helped, he admitted wryly. Just being around her was enough to stoke the flames of arousal she ignited inside him. Knowing when to act on those passions and when to pull the fire alarm was quite the challenge.

“I’ll take care of the fire if you grab the empties for the recycling bin, okay?”

The look she gave him came very close to stealing his fucking sanity. With only the light of the fire beneath a darkened sky with clouds obscuring the moonlight, her eyes glittered with something his mind read as hunger. Was it a yearning for him or for the things he could make her feel or were those two things just different sides of the same coin?

He needed some time to think. His outburst earlier, even though he’d managed to quickly reel himself in before he scared the shit out of her, drove home with force that getting involved with Brynn Wilde was opening a door inside him that he was careful to keep locked and bolted at all times.
Fuck.
Even the slightest acknowledgment of the demons tucked away in his psyche was enough to cause him to break out in a line of sweat at the back of his neck.

He didn’t wait for her response, just turned and went about dousing the fire with a jaw clenched so tight it was a wonder his teeth didn’t crumble. Jax could hear her moving about, picking up the empty beer bottles; the sound of her flip-flops shuffling and the glass bottles tinkling as they connected was all that broke the silence.

Brynn had gone back inside the house leaving Jax to his thoughts as he stood and watched the dying embers, the scent of wood smoke stinging his nose while a thousand and one emotions mixed with anxiety and a bit of fear ran riot inside him.

Hands going to his waist, he shook his head and lowered it in thoughtful repose, momentarily letting the presence of a shitload of old issues rise to the surface. It took all his strength to keep the anger at bay. Accepting the struggles that came along with the aftermath of his war experiences wasn’t easy and at times like these, pissed him off royally. There was a damn good reason why he’d never attempted a relationship after Heather had blown his shit out of the water. She might have been an A-1 bitch about it, but he’d been forced to admit that living with him and the shit he now dealt with wasn’t exactly a walk in the park.

Fuck, man. During that whole first year after he was back in civilian life, he’d developed so many PTSD triggers it took a personal valet running along behind him to keep all that heavy baggage from dragging him permanently into a pit of despair. Luckily, he’d had an awesome counselor who helped him recognize what was happening and also gave Jax a vast arsenal of coping strategies so his life wouldn’t fucking implode.

When he’d gotten to the house and realized Brynn had zero understanding of how important situational awareness was, he’d gone into search and destroy mode at finding the front door unlocked. When she walked down the steps and he’d seen she was coming from the shower, he almost exploded.

And that right there was what he needed to stop and think about. Yeah, he’d been reacting to an old trigger, but this time it was infused with a fierce throb of protective impulse for the woman scattering his thoughts that went far beyond a reflex and dug so deep into his soul he’d been staggered by the intensity. Brynn Wilde was embedded under his skin in a way that made him sweat.

As he approached the back door he could see her through the windows tidying up as she moved around the kitchen. That damn dress she had on, something he was pretty sure was the type women throw on after a shower, tightened his balls. It was short and flirty and gave her the look of an innocent college ingénue. Made all the emotions running rampant in his brain crash into each other.

The moment he stepped through the door, she grabbed something off the counter and hurried over to him.

“Here are the keys for the garage and the house. I had the studio and loft cleaned and you’ll find the whole place is supplied with pretty much anything you could need. Sorry in advance about the pink roses,” she mumbled with an adorable smirk. “Charlie bought all the linens and towels and stuff. She felt the place needed some color to liven things up so she sort of went off the rails at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.”

She was edging closer with her hand out and the keys dangling from a finger. It was all he could do not to grab a hold of her wrist and yank her in closer until her soft body in that unintentionally sexy dress was pressed against him.

Accepting the keys, he sent her a lackluster smile that was as empty and fake as a reality TV star.
Say something
, his mind screamed at him because he knew keeping everything bottled up wasn’t going to make it go away.

Mouth set in a grim line, Jax cleared his throat and shifted back and forth as if finding a comfortable position was going to make any damn difference.

“Brynn,” he began hesitantly, trying not to sound completely bent out of shape.
Fuck
. Finding the right words was hella’ difficult. “Look. About earlier.”

The
proceed with caution
expression plastered on her face gave him the push he needed to soften his tone.

“You need to be way more careful about locking your doors and shit.”

Annoyance flashed in her eyes, and she gave him a
go fuck yourself
smirk. Okay, this already wasn’t going how he planned, and he’d barely said anything.

“I’m sorry,” she bit out. “Do I look like someone who needs a security lecture? I’m not stupid and I told you, I knew you were coming which is why the door was unlocked. This house is off the beaten path and really Jax, nobody ever comes up the drive.”

He wanted to grab her and shake some damn sense into that
I can take care of myself
bullshit she had going on.

“You live behind a place of business Brynn, and the driveway is hardly hidden. In case you haven’t looked in the mirror lately, you’re a beautiful fucking woman who lives alone. All it takes is one psycho creep to go off and next thing you know this conversation would be taking place in a hospital emergency room or a police station. Or worse,” he added solemnly at the end.

She didn’t look happy at his high-handed tone and was clearly getting ready to rip into him when he pulled a
fuck it
and finally yanked her close. Colliding with his hard body she let out a startled gasp as his hands squeezed her arms tight for emphasis.

“Don’t fucking argue with me woman,” he growled.

“Ow,” she griped. “You’re hurting me.”

“This is real world shit lady and since you obviously don’t take your own security seriously, I will. I’m going to do a lot more than hurt you Brynn if you don’t listen up and do as you’re told”

“What are you going to do? Spank me like a bad kid?”

He knew his eyes flared at her suggestive words because he saw them reflected in her own. Spank her? Fuck yeah he’d spank her. Gladly. Until her bottom was red, on fire, and his handprint clearly visible. Maybe then she’d get a fucking clue and stop being belligerent for the sake of pissing him off.

“Don’t tempt me, baby.”
Shit.
That got her going, and she began struggling to get out of his hold.

“Don’t you ‘baby’ me!”

That was it. He’d had enough. This was an issue that wasn’t open to negotiation or any of her female mind games. Time to let her know who the fuck she was dealing with.

Roaring like an angry beast, he pulled her along until he got to a kitchen chair where he promptly sat down with a thud and yanked her down until she fell over his lap. With the wind knocked out of her momentarily she stopped fighting him long enough for Jax to push her dress up over her ass to reveal the demure pink panties adorned with butterflies she was wearing.

Pushing between her shoulder blades to hold her in place, he splayed his big hand across both butt cheeks for emphasis and growled, “Promise me Brynn. Stop fucking around and promise me you’ll keep your doors locked when you’re alone or I swear to God, you’ll find out what a grown-up spanking feels like.”

“Jax, you’re scaring me. Stop.” She sounded genuinely startled and upset. Good. Maybe that would make her listen.

“I’m trying to fucking scare you,
baby
.” He made sure to put a shit ton of emphasis on the endearment. “It’s for your own damn good too. Don’t make me do this. Promise me Brynn. And mean it—don’t just say what I want to hear to shut me up.”

Something about the angry distress in his voice must have gotten through because she suddenly stopped struggling and went limp on his lap.

“O-okay,” she mumbled. “Okay Jax. Okay. I’m sorry. I promise to be more aware and keep the doors locked.”

“Do you mean it, baby? Are you making a real promise?”

She wiggled slightly and he saw as well as felt her ass tighten up. “Yes. I promise.”

Relief flooded through him. She hadn’t made him smack her ass in punishment. He rewarded both of them by caressing her beautiful backside through the cotton panties. Sober as a judge, he rearranged the sexy dress so she was fully covered again and helped her sit up.

He wasn’t sure what he’d find in her expression but when their eyes locked it was his turn to be startled. She looked as shocked as he was and not just a little bit turned on. He could tell by the smoky intensity in her eyes that she was in unfamiliar territory—something that brought out the primitive man lurking inside him.

“Don’t be angry Jax. I wasn’t thinking and I’m…well, I’m sorry that I upset you. It won’t happen again.” Her voice trailed off to a breathy whisper at the end.

Suddenly and without warning, she grabbed his face and dove onto his mouth, kissing him with a sweet desperation that instantly calmed him. He let her own the kiss, savoring the unexpected sensual apology. Somehow, someway, Brynn had understood that his demons were expressing themselves through his words and actions.

When she was finished assuring him with her lips, she sat back and searched his eyes. “Were you really going to, uh…spank me?”

“Yes.” His answer was swift and precise.

A thousand thoughts were visible in her expression, and he noted and cataloged each one. Either she wasn’t trying to hide her feelings from him or she didn’t realize how easy it was for him to read her. She nodded her head to let him know she understood, blushed and looked away.

It would have been so damn easy to take her then. She wouldn’t put up much of a fight, if any. Just like that first night, he could have her panties around her ankles, only this time with her bent over the table as he slam fucked her from behind. But that wasn’t what he wanted and the realization struck him like a damn sledgehammer. He didn’t want an angry fuck where he pushed his domination of her to the extreme. And he really didn’t want to bury himself in her sweet body while that powerful emotion still pulsed in his brain.