Wild Ride (48 page)

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Authors: Jennifer Crusie

BOOK: Wild Ride
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“Am I missing something?” Ethan said.

“No,” Mab said, her chin out, and Oliver looked down at her and grinned, and Ethan thought,
Oh, for Christ's sake.

The end of the world was coming, and Mab was fooling around.
Way to concentrate on battle,
he thought.

Not that there was a battle. There'd been no sign of Ray, Ursula, or the minions, and now that they were on the dock, no sign of movement inside, and the drawbridge remained in place.

“We just got here,” Mab said. “Young Fred's not answering his cell phone.”

“That's not good.” Ethan checked his watch and then breathed a sigh of relief as the drawbridge cracked open and slowly lowered into place on the dock.

Young Fred came racing out as if the Devil himself were behind him, and Ethan and Weaver grabbed him as he tried to run by.

“What happened?” Ethan demanded.

“They got out,” Young Fred said, gasping with terror.

“How?” Ethan asked.


I don't know
, they just . . .
got out
.”

“Where's Glenda?”

“I don't know!”

Ethan slapped Young Fred on the back of the head and made him stumble. “
Not a problem
. We'll just all go to the Keep and
put them back
.”

“No.” Young Fred shook his head, trying to back away, and bumped into Weaver. “They're real.
Big
.
Evil
.”

“Walk.” Weaver prodded him in the back with her demon gun, and they trekked back across the bridge, Young Fred looking over his shoulder, desperate to escape.

They entered the defunct restaurant, and Ethan said, “Keep him here,” to the others, shoving Young Fred at Weaver.

He took the stairs fast, weapon at the ready. The armoire was wide open, and inside he saw five open, empty chalices on the shelf. There was banging on the door at the top of the stairs going to the roof, and Ethan ran up there, slid the bolt back, and threw it open. Glenda and Cindy were framed against the stars.

“What happened?” Ethan asked.

“Young Fred called us up here and then left and locked the door,” Glenda said as she came down the stairs behind Ethan. “And now I'm going to kill him because you don't play pranks on Halloween in Dreamland.”

“He wasn't playing a prank.”

Glenda froze as she saw the open armoire and empty chalices. “They're
out
?” She looked at Ethan, her eyes desolate. “A
Guardia
let them out?”

“We'll take care of it,” Ethan said.

Glenda sank down onto one of the chairs. “You have no idea what he's just done.”

“Well, I'm about to find out,” Ethan said. “You stay here.” He picked up two of the chalices and handed them to Cindy. “Ready for the Mother of All Demon Battles?”

“No,” Cindy said, but she took the chalices.

“Too bad,” Ethan said, taking the last three. “Let's go kick demon ass.”

 

F
ive minutes later, Mab quietly followed Ethan down the stairs into the darkened Keep basement, hugging the wall behind him and carrying the empty chalice he'd given her. Cindy and Weaver followed, carrying the rest of the chalices with Young Fred sandwiched between them, and Oliver brought up the rear, carrying a demon gun. Halfway down the stairs, Mab slowed, seeing by the purple light that glowed in the center of the basement that the Keep junk had been blown away from the center of the
floor, as if something had exploded there, propelling everything into the walls. The weird light in the middle of the room left the edges in shadows darker than anything Mab had ever seen, but in the center, the Untouchables stood, united after 2,500 years: a hulking orange warrior carrying a sword in his hamlike hands; a beautiful blue madonna dressed as a Roman huntress; a smoky-eyed mermaid, full-breasted, full-lipped, and full-hipped, floating in shimmering blue-green; and a goat-footed golden boy with little round horns buried in his curly golden hair; all of them dominated by a furnace-red devil with eyes like coals and obscenely ripped muscles, his head topped by curved horns ending in points. They were all at least eight feet tall, and Kharos was even taller, his arms upraised in triumph, hovering over a shimmering, seething, oily pool of something the vile dead purple color of demon goo, the source of the unhealthy light in the room.


AND NOW IT BEGINS!
” Kharos said in a deep voice, and the others looked down with varying degrees of enthusiasm at the pool below.


YAY
,” Fun said, his voice flat.

Kharos ignored him. “
BRING THEM.

Ursula stepped into the light at the edge of the pool, pasty in the purple glow, her officious little face smirking over a clipboard. “We need records of this if we want to track them.”

“You have to be kidding me,” Ray said from the shadows, his presence marked by the glowing end of his cigar.

“I need to know if this has military applications,” Ursula told him. “We could use a place to drop people where they'll never be found. And besides they may have assets they won't be needing.”

“Oh.” Ray sucked on his cigar. “Good point.”

“Damn it,” Ethan said under his breath, and Mab looked into the darkness beyond Ursula and saw what they were talking about.

People. Dreamland people. Ashley, Drunk Dave, Carl Whack-A-Mole, Sam, Laura Ferris Wheel and her brother Jerry, and more, empty-eyed and slack-jawed and shuddering with despair, herded into a line that went out the tunnel door. And beyond them, Mab could see, were still more, a tunnel full of them, all of them ashen and shaking and immobilized with terror, some of them sweating and some of them weeping, straining against
something that was pulling them toward that vile dead pool of purple beneath the feet of the Untouchables.

“What is that stuff?” Ethan whispered as they reached the bottom of the stairs under cover of that awful darkness.

Mab shook her head as Oliver came up behind her, Weaver next to Ethan, Cindy with a firm grip on Young Fred behind Weaver.

Ethan put Kharos's chalice on the floor and then put his mouth next to Mab's ear. “First we get the people out. No collateral damage.”

Mab nodded and went up on her toes to put her mouth next to Oliver's ear. “There are more people in the tunnel. Go in there and get them out of here, out of the park.” He nodded and started to move away, and she grabbed his arm. “Be careful, there might be minions,” she whispered, and he held up his gun and then crept toward the tunnel door, hugging the debris-plastered wall in the dark, Weaver close behind him.


I'M AGAINST THIS
,” Fun was saying to Kharos, rubbing his hands over his short horns. “
THESE PEOPLE, WE'VE USED THEM ENOUGH. DAVE'S LIKE A BROTHER TO ME.
” He looked back at Dave, now catatonic with terror. “
A DUMBER, DRUNKER BROTHER, BUT I'M AGAINST SENDING HIM TO HELL.

Hell?
Mab thought as Oliver put his hand over Jerry Ferris Wheel's mouth and dragged him into the darkness toward the tunnel door. Weaver followed close behind with Laura, and Cindy followed her, reaching for Sam, none of them struggling, and then Mab kept her eyes on the Untouchables, waiting for them to notice that something was going on in the impenetrable darkness behind them while they argued with each other.

Ethan put his mouth close to her ear. “We're going to have to go into the light to get Ashley and Dave,” he whispered, and she nodded, pretty sure that was going to be very bad but also sure they had no choice.

Oliver came back and pulled Carl Whack-A-Mole out of the edge of the light, and Mab held her breath, sure they had to notice as Ethan stepped forward and took his place behind Dave.


DAVE CHEATED ON HIS GIRLFRIEND,
” Tura was saying, her voice like syrup with a reverb. “
PUT HIM DOWN. BUT NOT ASHLEY. SHE'S NOT BAD.


BRING THEM ALL
,” Kharos commanded. “
WE'LL FEAST ON THEM ALL.

“That wasn't the deal,” Young Fred said, coming in out of the darkness, his voice shaking but rebellious. “You said we'd all be free. You didn't
say anything about sending people to hell. I did my part, you're free, let them go—”


I WILL SPARE YOU, BOY, IF YOU LEAVE NOW,
” Kharos said. “
STAY AND YOU DIE WITH THE OTHERS.
” He raised his arms again. “
AND NOW WE WILL
FEAST
!


NO
,” Fun said, and Kharos jerked back. “
YOU'LL
FEAST, WE WON'T. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GORGES ON DESPAIR. ME, I LIKE HAPPINESS. I VOTE NO.

Good for you
, Mab thought.

Kharos rose up over Fun and Young Fred, larger, redder, angrier. “
THERE IS NO
VOTE
.”

Young Fred slunk back into the darkness, but Fun stared up, defiant, as Mab crept up behind Ethan, and somebody moved in behind her, and she realized it was Cindy, the Guardia forming a new line to take the place of the old.

That's gonna be a nasty surprise
, she thought, and began to feel better, although she was definitely going to hurt Young Fred when they were done.

Assuming they survived.


YOU WILL OBEY ME!
” Kharos raged.


OH, ALL RIGHT, THEN, TAKE ASHLEY,
” Tura said, petulant, her massive tail lashing in the air as she folded her arms. “
BUT IT'S A WASTE. SHE WAS A GOOD RIDE.


MAYBE IF I WAS DOWN THERE WITH THE SOULS,
” Vanth said, gliding closer to Kharos. “
TO TAKE CARE OF THEM, SHOW THEM THE WAY. THEY LOVE ME WHEN I'M WITH THEM.


NO
,” Kharos said, and Vanth pulled back from him, frowning.


SHOW THEM THE WAY TO WHAT?
” Fun said to her. “
HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN HELL? ALL THAT'S DOWN THERE IS COLD DESPAIR.

“It's cold?” Ursula said, clicking her pen nervously. “I thought hell was hot, burning fires.”


YOU'D PRAY FOR FIRES DOWN THERE,
” Fun said, and he sounded sick as he said it.


IT SEEMS CRUEL TO SEND THEM DOWN WITHOUT US,
” Vanth said. “
WE'RE THEIR GODS. I'M THEIR
GUIDE
.

“WE'RE THEIR DEMONS,
” Fun said. “
WE'RE THEIR WORST NIGHTMARES. YOU THINK IT'S BETTER IF YOU GUIDE THEM THROUGH HOPELESSNESS?


IT'S WHAT I DO
,” Vanth said, her voice virtuous.


IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!
” Fun snapped, and Vanth jerked back again, scowling at him, while Mab thought,
I'm not forgiving you yet, but you're getting closer
.


ENOUGH
.
” Kharos spread his arms. “
BRING THEM TO THE FEAST.

Ursula clicked her pen again, put it on the clipboard, and laid it down. She took a tracking collar out of her bag and strapped it around Ashley's neck, ignoring Ashley's sobs. “Come on,” she said, and Ashley tried to pull back, her face twisted with fear. “I'll just take your purse,” Ursula said, reaching for the bag on Ashley's shoulder, “and any identification you have. Don't worry, the United States government will know exactly where you are.”

Ashley crossed her arms in front of her, too terrified to let go.

Ursula tugged on the bag. “Give me that purse. As a government official, I command you to
let go
!”

Ethan moved forward, and Mab followed him into the light. He grabbed Dave by the neck and thrust him behind him, taking his place in line, and Mab shoved him behind her where Cindy caught him and passed him to Weaver and then he was gone into the darkness, as Ethan pulled his knife and moved up behind Ashley, who was crying in big gulps now.

“Please,” she sobbed. “Just let me go. Whatever I did, I'm sorry, just let me go,
please
—”


Give. Me. That. Bag!”
Ursula snapped, greed in her eyes, her lips pulled back over her teeth, and then she gave one final, huge yank on Ashley's bag just as Ethan cut the strap with one smooth move.

Ursula staggered back a step—the suddenly freed bag clutched to her chest, her mouth a perfect round O—and then another flailing step and then one last step into the pool, where she dropped straight down as if in a vacuum tube, sucked into the dead purple nonmatter of that hell, nothing left but her echoing scream as Ethan yanked Ashley behind him into Mab's arms, and Mab passed her on to Cindy and then stepped up behind him.

Ursula's scream continued as if she were falling a great way, but the rest of the room was silent as Kharos faced Ethan across the gate.


YOU,
” Kharos said.

“Yep, me,” Ethan said. “Now we can do this the hard way or the easy way.”

“WHAT?”
Mab whispered behind him.

“I've just always wanted to say that,” Ethan said over his shoulder.


WHAT?
” Kharos roared.

Ethan spread his arms, the knife still in his hand. “It's like this: You can agree to go back in your box, or we'll kick your ass and put you back. Your choice.”

“Are you nuts?”
Mab whispered behind him.
“That's the Devil.

Kharos snarled and flung his hand toward Ethan, and even standing behind him, Mab felt the force of the blow.

Ethan rocked back on his heels and bumped into her, and then he straightened. “That's all you got?”

But Mab had felt him shudder with the impact, and his voice sounded gaspy, as if he'd had the wind knocked out of him.

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