Wild Orchid (20 page)

“What you ask for is difficult to grant,” the Son of Heaven said, his voice heavy. “For it runs counter to my hopes. But I have sworn to give you what you wish, and I will honor my word. So be it, Jian, my son.
You may serve China in the way that is closest to your heart.

“Come now.” The emperor made a gesture, calling all his sons to his side. “Let us go inside and we will speak further of these things.”

“Father,” Prince Jian said, “I will do your bidding with all my heart.”

As the Son of Heaven and his sons passed by me, I knelt once more. When he reached me, the emperor stopped.

“Hua Mulan.”

“Yes, Mighty Emperor,” I said.

“It seems I owe you a second round of thanks. You saw what was in my son’s heart, while I saw only what was in my own. I will make sure to ask him how this might be so.”

With that he strode past me and was gone. His sons followed in his wake. When they were safely inside the tent, I got to my feet and turned directly into my own father’s waiting arms.

N
INETEEN

“When I realized that you had gone, when I realized what you had done, I thought that I had lost you forever,” my father told me later that night.

Though my father had feasted with the emperor, the princes, and the generals, he had left the celebrations early so that we might have some time alone. I had not gone to the celebration at all. Instead I had pleaded weariness and the pain of my wounds. General Yuwen had secured the emperor’s permission for me to remain quietly in my tent. I did not think I would be missed, at least not by the Son of Heaven himself.

He had made good his promise. He would grant his best-loved son the first wish of his heart, but the emperor would not thank me for it. It robbed him of his own wish that Prince Jian succeed him. I wondered if his father might see the wisdom of Prince Jian’s choice, in time.

There would be several days of celebration and ceremonies yet before the emperor’s great army would disband and before my father and I would ride for home. Chances were good I would never see Prince
Jian again. I tried to tell myself that it was for the best. I didn’t get very far.

“I am sorry I went away without saying good-bye.” I brought my thoughts back to the present and my father. “But I could hardly tell you what I wanted to do. You would never have let me go.”

“Of course I wouldn’t,” my father said. “What kind of father would I have been, then?”

I smiled. “The same kind you are now, I hope. One who loves his daughter well enough to forgive her.” Without warning I felt the tears well up in my eyes. “Oh,
Baba
,” I said. “I just want to see Zao Xing and Min Xian. I want to see the plum trees bloom in the spring. I want to go home.”

“And so we shall, my Mulan. Zao Xing will be pleased to see you. I was afraid she’d worry herself sick the whole time you were away.”

“How is the baby?” I asked.

“Growing strong. Zao Xing complains she will grow as great as a house before the baby arrives. Min Xian takes good care of them both.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” I said. “Keeping Zao Xing and the baby safe was part of the reason I went away in the first place. I could not bear … I did not wish …”

“My daughter,” my father said as he gathered me close. “I know. I am so proud of you, and not just for your ability to sneak off with my horse or for your skills with a bow. I am proud of your generous heart. Someday I hope you will have the reward it longs for.”

“I hope so too,” I said.

“Mulan,” my father went on, “there is something that I would like to tell you, a thing I should have spoken to you long before now.”

I burrowed a little deeper in my father’s arms. “I think I know what you want to say,” I said. “You wish to tell me the name of my mother. Min Xian told me before I rode away. Please don’t be angry with her. She said I should not ride without knowing.”

“She was absolutely right,” my father replied. “And I am not angry for it. Her heart was more generous than mine in this.” My father kissed the top of my head, the first such affection I had ever known him to show.

“Come now,” he went on. “Let’s get you a good night’s sleep.”

“
Baba
,” I said suddenly, “do we have to wait until the end of the week? Couldn’t we go home tomorrow? I’m well enough to travel. Honestly I am.”

“Let me see what Huaji has to say,” said my father. “If you are well enough, and there is no other reason to stay, perhaps we may go. The emperor has already honored you. But if it is the Son of Heaven’s pleasure, we must stay.”

“I understand,” I promised. “But you’ll ask General Yuwen first thing tomorrow?”

“Why not ask me now?”

My father and I turned as General Yuwen made his way through the tent flap. He and my father greeted each other warmly. Then the general turned to me.

“Perhaps it is not my place to say this with your father sitting right beside you, but I have never been more proud of anyone than I was of you today, Mulan. You have saved China twice, I think. Once by taking a life. Today by giving Prince Jian the opportunity to ask for the life he truly desires.

“He will serve China, and himself, far better living the life of his heart than he would have in the life his father had chosen for him.”

“And Prince Ying will become emperor someday?” I asked, remembering the general’s belief that Prince Ying would be a fine emperor during peace.

General Yuwen nodded. “Now there is no reason for anything else to occur. This has been a good day for China.”

“Then I have done my duty and am content,” I said.

The general regarded me quietly for a moment. “I think,” he finally said, “that you have one more duty to perform. Prince Jian has asked to speak with you. He is waiting nearby. He did not wish to intrude on you and your father.”

“The prince wishes to speak with me?” I said, trying to ignore the way my heart quickened. “Why?”

“I think that must be for him to say,” General Yuwen replied. “Shall I tell him to come?”

“No,” I replied. “There is no need. I will go myself. Instead stay here with my father. I’m sure the two of you have many things to discuss. But if I feel my ears burning, I will know you talked of me, so be warned.”

“We promise not to mention your name at all,” my father said as he bundled me into a cloak. I didn’t believe him for a moment.

And so I was smiling as I stepped out into the night. I stood for a moment, letting my eyes adjust. The tent had been bright with lantern light, but now a full moon hung in the clear night sky, wrapping everything around me in the embrace of its cool white glow. I had taken no more than half a dozen steps toward Prince Jian’s tent when he materialized by my side.

“You came,” Prince Jian said. “I wasn’t sure you would.”

“Of course I would,” I answered, and now my heart was impossible to ignore. It beat painfully inside my chest for all the things that it desired, now out of reach.

Do not fool yourself, Mulan
, I thought.
They were always out of reach
. I might as well have stretched out my arms to touch the moon in the sky.

“If only to say good-bye,” I went on.

“Will you walk with me?” Prince Jian said. “The sky is bright tonight.”

“Just so long as you watch out for any holes,” I replied. “It will never do for me to fall and lose the use of both my arms.”

In the moonlight I caught the flash of his smile. He stepped to my left side, and taking me lightly by my good arm, we began to walk together.

“That sounds more like you,” Prince Jian said. “I
thought …” He paused, and then began again. “I thought I might have lost you.”

My pride put up a brief struggle and then went down in flames.
Why shouldn’t I tell the truth?
I wondered.
I’ll never see him again after tonight
.

“No,” I answered quietly. “You could never lose me. It simply isn’t possible.”

“Why?” Prince Jian suddenly burst out. “Why did you do it?”

I didn’t even pretend to not know what he was talking about. Still, I paused. I wanted to choose my words with care, with more care than I had chosen any others in my life.

“When your father made his offer, I looked into my heart to see what it might wish for above all else,” I replied. “But I discovered that, as powerful as he is, what I desired most lay beyond even the Son of Heaven’s power to bestow.

“So I looked into my heart again, and I thought …” My voice choked off as, just for a moment, my nerve faltered.

Remember the dragonfly, Mulan
, I thought.

“I thought—I hoped I saw the way to make things right between us,” I said after a moment. “I never meant to deceive you.”

I broke off again, and made a wry face.

“Or at least no more than I deceived everyone else by pretending to be a boy. That night, before I went away to fight, I wanted to speak, to tell you the truth,
but I could not. I could not tell you who I really was.

“In spite of all the ways that you are unique, in this you would have been like everybody else. All you would have seen was that I was a girl. You would have made me stay behind.”

“I think that you are right,” Prince Jian said slowly. “But is this all?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” I said.

Prince Jian stopped walking, though he kept his hand on my arm. “Mulan. Today you gave me the chance to speak the truth of my heart. Will you not tell me the truth of yours? If the only reason you spoke to my father as you did was to settle a debt between us, it is more than paid. If that is all there is between us, then tell me so. I will go, and we will never speak of our hearts again, for we will never see each other.

“But before I let this happen, I ask you again: Is this all? Did your heart bestow its great gift for no other reason? Does it want nothing else from me?”

“I might ask you the same question,” I replied, making a bold answer lest my heart read too much into his words and begin to hope too much. “You are a great prince. Why should you care what my heart wants?”

“The answer to that is simple enough,” Prince Jian said. “Though discovering it was hard. It is because I love you.”

How brave he is!
I thought. For with that simple declaration, he had set all defenses aside and laid bare
his heart. He had been unwilling to risk China, but it seemed that he would risk himself.

You must be no less brave, Mulan
, I told myself.

“In that case, you are more powerful than the Son of Heaven,” I said aloud. “You have done what he could not. You have given me the first wish of my heart.”

“And what was that wish?” Prince Jian asked. “Please—I would like to hear you say it out loud.”

“That you love me as I love you,” I said. “But this was a gift that only you could bestow.”

Jian turned me to him then, mindful of my injury, and took me in his arms. “Mulan,” he murmured against my hair. “Mulan.”

“I know my name,” I murmured back.

I felt a bubble of laughter rise up within him, heard it burst forth before he could stop it.

“Yes, but I’m still getting used to it,” he replied. “You must give me a little time yet.”

“I will give you all the time I have,” I vowed, and felt his arms tighten.

“What?” he asked, his voice light and teasing even as he held me close. “No more?”

“Even this great hero of China has her limits, Majesty,” I answered.

He tilted my face up and looked down into my eyes. “No,” he said softly. “I really don’t think so. That is one of the reasons I love you so much.”

I reached up and laid a palm against his cheek.

“You have to stop this,” I replied. “You’ll make my head swell as well as make it spin.”

As our lips met, we were both smiling. Our first kiss was full of the promise of both our hearts. A kiss of true love.

“I cannot promise you an easy life,” the prince said when at last we broke apart. “But I hope that you will choose to share it with me anyway.”

“Tell me something, Your Highness,” I said. “Does anything about me tell you that I want an easy life?”

He laughed then, the cold night air ringing with the sound.

“No,” he answered honestly. “Nothing does. Will you marry me, Mulan? Will you make your life with me in China’s wild places, where our hearts may run as free as they desire?”

“I will,” I promised. “But first I must return to my father’s house. My stepmother is going to have a child. I would like to be there when it arrives.”

“I will come with you,” Prince Jian said. “I would like to meet Li Po’s family.”

“I love you,” I said as the tears filled my eyes. “I love you with all my heart.”

“I am glad to hear it,” Prince Jian answered. “For I love you with all of mine. Though I suppose I should have asked your father’s permission first.”

“I believe that he will give it,” I said. “For if there is one thing my father understands, it’s marrying for love.”

We were married in the spring, beneath the plum tree. Its blossoms were just beginning to fade and loosen their hold. Each time the wind moved through the
branches, fragrant petals showered down around us. Neither the emperor nor either of Jian’s brothers came to the ceremony. But General Yuwen was there, and Zao Xing, holding my baby brother in her arms. He had made his appearance early, causing us all alarm. But he soon proved the rightness of his choice, for he was growing fat and strong. In honor of my recent exploits, and to encourage him to grow up big and strong, my parents named him
Gao Shan
, High Mountain.