Wild Is My Love (10 page)

Together they returned to the castle, and Alysa tried to see her father again, to learn if he was better this morning. Today a guard and a servant were positioned near Alric’s chambers, and she was refused admittance by Isobail’s orders. Alysa implored them to allow her to see him,’ then demanded a visit: all were denied. She fumed at this added outrage by her stepmother, but returned to her chamber to plan another course of action.

In the village Princess Isobail took all of the credit for riding to the aid of “her subjects,” even by placing her life in peril by doing so personally. She ordered her men to do whatever they could to assist the wounded and distraught peasants, and she vowed to capture and slay those responsible. She tended the injured and soothed the anxious. She sent part of her band in pursuit of the raiders who had carried off several of the women, told the people she would send them food and supplies from the castle’s stores, promised that castle workers would come to the village to help build new huts or repair those damaged.

The simple folk were filled with gratitude for the devious woman who remained in the village until her band returned with the weeping captives, who said they had been cast aside as the raiders fled Isobail’s knights. Over and over she was thanked and praised, and her hands kissed by her subjects who were duped by her pretense. Not once was Prince Alric mentioned, as if he did not exist…

Isobail sat upon her prized mare and shouted to the peasants who surrounded her, “Do not worry, my people; I will not allow my knights to rest until the guilty hang from the gates of my castle. I will allow you to judge their black deeds and to place the ropes around their necks. Then I will give you their bodies to burn.”

The villagers were fooled completely by the clever woman. The air was filled with praises for Princess Isobail as she smiled and waved to the peasants before riding off with a few of her men. The others were left behind to carry out Isobail’s promises. Soon, she vowed, she would own the people’s fealty and obedience; they would consider her their ruler, and be glad she was!

Returning to the castle, Isobail closeted herself with Earnon before Alysa could speak to her about the guard against her at Alric’s door. Alysa walked to the gatehouse to see what she could learn about the attack, and was surprised that Gavin had not returned to the castle with Princess Isobail and the knights.

Beag, a dark-skinned knight with brown eyes and hair, was relating the episode to Piaras. He did not halt when Alysa appeared. She was stunned by Isobail’s glory-snatching ways, and suspicious of how the woman took advantage of the incident. When Beag finished, Alysa asked, “Who was the stranger who helped?”

Sir Beag looked confused, then shrugged his shoulders. “I saw no stranger there, Your Highness, only peasants.” When Alysa said she saw one earlier, the fabled knight said, “Perhaps he was one of the raiders.
He was not there when we arrived, and no one mentioned a strange warrior. Shall I ask about him?”

Alysa was mystified. Numerous questions tumbled over and over within her mind. Where had Gavin gone? If he had entered the village as promised, no one could have missed a stranger with his exceptional looks and build. Why would he vanish as mysteriously as he appeared? Who was he? Why was he here? How odd…

“Your Highness, do you wish me to return to the village and search for him?” Beag asked. “If he is one of the raiders, he can lead us to the others if we can capture him and force the information from him. Once bound to the rack, he could not hold silent.”

“Surely I was mistaken, Sir Beag. I was distraught by what I witnessed. He was not dressed as a warrior or raider; he must have been a peasant.”

Alysa did not know why she lied to them, especially to Piaras, but something kept her from betraying Gavin. She needed to know why he had not come to the castle to see her father, and why he had not been in the village when the others arrived. If he had friends with him, as he had told her, why was he always alone? Alysa called his image to mind. He looked and behaved so gently, too gently to be evil. His eyes pulled her to him, and his manner tempted her as the flower did to the bee. She could not envision him robbing, beating, or raping anyone. But when they met again, she would demand answers.

Alysa completed her bath and dressed in a soft kirtle of blue, then drew on a knee-length tunic of white with blue borders. She sat patiently while Thisbe brushed and braided her hair and used the brown plait to encircle her head. She wore no jewelry and omitted her circlet of gold, which sometimes antagonized Isobail with its meaning. Sitting in a wooden chair, she gazed off dreamily as her handmaiden slipped on her sandals and laced them snugly over slender ankles.

“Your mind drifts as far away as the clouds, mistress. What land and dream do you seek?” Thisbe teased merrily.

“One such as you have found with Teague, little Thisbe,” Alysa retorted playfully to the petite girl of her own age. She wanted to speak of anything except the nightmarish scene she had witnessed earlier. Too, Gavin was very much on her mind.

“Why must you seek what can be yours for the taking? Any nobleman of the land would give his life to capture your eye and heart.”

“What if my eye and heart are set on a warrior whose land and ways I do not know?” Alysa replied unthinkingly. She laughed as if she were joking, unaware of the gleam that brightened her blue eyes.

Thisbe was delighted and intrigued by her mistress’s mood, a rare one for the beautiful princess. She knew that Alysa was aware of her beauty, for men frequently pointed it out to her with their looks, remarks, and pursuits. Yet the gentle princess had never been known to use it unfairly. “Where did you meet this irresistible stranger?” Thisbe inquired.

“What stranger?” Alysa asked. She was almost afraid to talk about Gavin, as if doing so would make him become a dream instead of a reality.

Thisbe was not fooled. “The lucky man who causes your cheeks to burn and your eyes to glow,” she pressed. “I have not seen such a look upon you before. Who is he?”

Alysa sighed deeply. She had never been able to conceal anything from her astute servant, and in fact, she wanted to share her thoughts about Gavin. “I do not know, dear Thisbe. I met him while riding one day, but no one has seen him save me. Perhaps he is only in my dreams, for he fills them each hour. He stirs me so strangely, Thisbe, yet I know little about him.”

“When you met, did he not speak his name and land?”

“His name is Gavin and he said his home was in the kingdom of Strathclyde in the north. He is a man such as I have never known before, a warrior who hires out as a paid fighter to any ruler who needs him. He only seeks adventures and glory and money in our land. He told me that word of our troubles had lured him here to help us, if Father will hire him and his band.”

“You do not sound as if you believe his claims.”

“I am unsure, Thisbe. There is a mystery around him. He comes and goes like the mist, and never leaves a trace. If the words he shared with me were true, why has he not visited the castle to speak with Father, or even Isobail?” Then Alysa unexpectedly asked, “What is it like to love and desire a man?” When Thisbe recovered
from her surprise, Alysa laughed softly. “Do not tease me, little Thisbe, or I shall punish you.”

The handmaiden laughed at the playful threat. “Love is when thoughts of but one man fill your heart, when he means more than life to you, when you know you would do anything for him and shall die if he is taken from you. Desire is when you ache to see him and touch him, when he causes your body to burn and tremble. Desire does not demand love before it can ensnare you, but desire with love creates a powerful bond.”

As Alysa mused on those words, Thisbe asked, “Do you love him and desire him? Do you wish him at your side and in your bed forever?”

Alysa swallowed the lump in her throat. “Even though he is a stranger, the bond you speak of exists for me. Each hour it grows stronger and tighter, and that troubles me. When he is near, I feel as a shared rabbit, yet I have no wish or the strength to escape him. Gavin has stolen my heart and wits. I hunger to learn all about him. When I think of him, I yearn to be in his arms. When I am with him, my mind flees and he controls my will. Pain fills me to know it cannot be. I am not as you, dear Thisbe. I am a princess, a future ruler; I cannot marry whom I choose, unless his rank and ways match mine. Nothing can change who and what I am and must be.”

“Does the Crown mean more to you than he does?” Thisbe asked gravely. “More than love and happiness? Can a circle of gold warm your heart and soul? Can it stir your body to blazing life? Do not choose the Crown over love until you are certain you can live without him. If it is so hard to say ‘it cannot be,’ think how much harder it will be to endure his loss forever.”

Alysa winced at her words. “You are wise and clever, Thisbe, but how can I learn such things? Life has been different for you. I have not been free to explore these matters.”

“Test your feelings for this Gavin as men test their mettle in the games and upon the battlefield. Be brave and cunning. Find your path to victory. Do you wish to marry a man not of your choosing? What if you cannot love him or desire him? Can you lie in his bed and allow his will with your body, as is his right? Can you bear his children?”

“How do I test my feelings for Gavin? What if his are not the same?”

“Spend time with him. Your heart and head will give you the answers you need.”

“But I know nothing of him. Is it not wrong for me to chase a man like him?”

“Why must a man always be the hunter and a woman the prey? I desired Teague, so I made certain he knew of my feelings and I worked hard to make his match mine. You must seek him out and cease this battle within you. He cannot read what is inside your heart; you must reveal your feelings to him. Only then can you discover if his feelings match yours.”

Alysa trusted Thisbe, as they had been close friends since childhood and had shared many secrets over the years. She believed nothing and no one could persuade Thisbe to betray her, no matter the price involved, just as Alysa knew she would do the same for Thisbe. Now, she related how she had met the stranger and what had taken place between them.

“From your words, he is also drawn to you,” Thisbe said afterwards. “Even if you choose the Crown over him, he will live in your heart forever, and his loss will cause you misery. Your father did not love and marry a woman of his lands and rank. Why must it be different for you?”

“You know how terribly my father and mother suffered for their choice, for I have told you of such unhappy times,” Alysa replied. “I do not wish such pain to fill my life. Besides, there is so much evil threatening
my land that I have no right to think of myself first. My father is gravely ill. If he died, my duty should come before my wishes.”

“Does that not tell you that you need a strong arm and love at your side? Perhaps he will prove himself more than worthy to have you.”

“We talk and I worry over a day that might never come. What if he is one of the raiders? What if he is deceiving me? What if he only desires me but does not love me? Or seeks the Crown through me? How can I trust a stranger?”

“You are a good judge of people, mistress. He would not stir you so if he were wicked. Perhaps he fears a princess cannot be won by a common warrior. Will you reject him when he comes to visit you?”

Alysa’s eyes widened as she recalled Gavin’s words near the village, and she realized he knew nothing about her. “He cannot. He does’ not know where to find me. I have not told him my name or rank. Each time we met, I was dressed as a peasant.”

Thisbe smiled victoriously. “Then he desires you for yourself and does not know he reaches for one far above him. Do not reveal yourself until his testing is done.”

“But that is dishonest. What is your meaning?”

“In your position, dear mistress, it is the only way to learn the truth. If he is wicked, he will reveal secrets to a peasant girl before doing so to the Princess of Damnonia. Be as mysterious as he is. You say he is a warrior who craves adventures. Intrigue him, and entice him to desire you beyond reason. Seek to know him fully. Afterwards, perhaps he will lose his great appeal. A man often dons a pretty face and charming manner to snare a tempting woman. But if his words are false, his allure fades with time, and you are left wiser about men and life than before. What harm and danger can there be in such learning?”

“I will think on your words. For now, I must speak
with Isobail and demand to see my father. I must make him hear me. Father does not realize how grave matters are. I think Isobail keeps the truth from him, just as she keeps us apart.”

It did not take Alysa long to discover that during her bath Isobail had taken her retinue and left the castle for ten days. Ecstatic, she rushed to see her father, but the guard still refused to allow her to enter. This time he told her it was under both Alric’s and Isobail’s orders, and nothing convinced the man to obey her instead.

To avoid everyone until her temper cooled, Alysa went to the Great Hall, which was empty this time of day, and paced its length. Her soft leather steps were muted on the stone floors’, and the immense room appeared to swallow her. She trembled from a damp chill which was unusual for this time of year. Without a cheery fire in the oversized hearths, and servants busying themselves with their tasks, the Great Hall was gloomy and forbidding.

Only two windows had been opened to allow sunshine and fresh air to enter, while all others remained covered by heavy tapestries which could be pulled up by cords to bare them. No candle was lit, and no hound was there to follow her or to beg a morsel from her hand. She glanced at the minstrel’s gallery around three sides of the hall, and realized how much lovely music enlivened the huge room which was deathly silent at this moment.

At one end of the Great Hall, on a raised dais, were located two ornately carved throne chairs for Prince Alric and Princess Isobail. They were situated well above floor level to emphasize the rulers’ rank over their subjects. The construction was Isobail’s idea after her marriage to Prince Alric. No items of beauty decorated the
dark tables and chests surrounding the royal chairs, as if Isobail thought barrenness would intimidate nervous guests, as it did.

Alysa could imagine Isobail binding her enemies to the towering pillars that supported the roof and torturing them, for she had witnessed the woman punishing unlucky servants in such a manner. Alysa wondered why they did not all hate her, but knew they could not try to run away, which would have been their most pronounced expression of hatred. Servants and peasants were not free to leave any place without permission, and could not find work in other territories. Even if a servant or peasant did not worry about punishment falling on the heads of his family—as a man’s kin was as liable for his deeds as he was, each servant knew that his lot in life would be worse if he left home without his ruler’s approval. The few who had tried in recent years were captured and flogged, and sometimes lost an ear or a tongue or a hand, which put an end to the attempts to escape. Alysa recalled that her mother had always been kind to the servants, and that they had loved Catriona. She suspected, from the not entirely hidden expressions in the castle, that it was not so with Isobail. When her father got well, she thought, surely he would not permit Isobail’s ill treatment of his servants to continue.

Alysa’s gaze drifted around the hall, and she was repulsed by the numerous heads of animals mounted all around her, more and more of them each year. What was Isobail’s obvious fascination and love for death? she wondered. Yes, the Great Hall was no longer warm and inviting and lovely as it had been long ago.

Alysa-leaned against one of the pillars and nibbled on her lower lip. She had to figure out a way to get to her father and to reason with him. Somehow, life in Malvern Castle and in Damnonia had—

“Do not fret so, Alysa, the raiders cannot attack
here,” Kyra teased as she entered the enormous hall. “No doubt they are reckless Jutes who are ruled by a blood lust. Soon Mother’s forces will have them fleeing to safety in Logris. You look so unhappy. Did the attack on the village frighten you?” Kyra wished she had been there. Surely it was exciting to see a bloody life-and-death struggle. She could imagine how blood-stirring such actions must have been.

Alysa’s gaze slipped over the blue-eyed blonde who was grinning mischievously at her. At twenty-one Kyra Ahern was an exceptional beauty, something the vain girl knew too well. Alysa looked forward to her stepsister’s marriage and departure from the castle, when and if the girl ever decided to marry. So far the older girl had eluded marriage.

The two girls had never gotten along, so Alysa had stopped trying to make peace a long time ago. She felt that Kyra was too much like her mother: untrustworthy, mean, greedy, and selfish. “Your mother refuses to allow me to visit my father. Why does she do such a vicious thing?” Alysa demanded of her stepsister, wishing it was the offensive Isobail who stood before her.

“You are a stupid girl, Alysa,” Kyra scoffed, provoked by Alysa’s tone.

“When I am your ruler, Kyra, perhaps you will not speak so boldly to me,” Alysa stated in warning, weary of Kyra’s antagonism. Today in particular she was in no mood to verbally battle her.

Tired and edgy from her long vigil last night, Kyra had not meant to remind Alysa of their hostility by speaking so hatefully to her. Presently it was Kyra’s intent to mislead Alysa with friendship, something she kept forgetting these days since it was annoying to play this part. How else could she protect herself if, or when, her mother’s black deeds were unmasked? Someone as reckless as her mother always made a slip and was exposed, she thought, as with Isobail’s careless love affair
with Guinn. Besides, the sickly prince could die, and Alysa could become her ruler any day now. If she wanted to remain in the castle and retain her current rank, she had better be careful of her attitude toward Alysa. “I beg your pardon, dear sister. I fear I did not sleep well last night, and I am moody this morning. I meant to say, you are foolish for not guessing the truth.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you know nothing of a man’s pride? Your father ordered my mother to keep you and everyone from him. He does not wish anyone to see how ill he is. Perhaps he will be well soon, for he has agreed to follow the advice of the healers. Do not worry.”